It's to soon for you to bloom
Not wanting this to sprout up to quick
Happiness in the beginning can be a costly trick
******* up these new found feelings
Swelling like a face full of stings
Fueled by a school girls crush in replace of the sun
Petals already clipped from past pains
Your seed buried in rotten soil
But I can see your roots are strong
I can see life radiating off you
The scent you give hits
But things are different
Your with me
I just hope you don't bloom to soon

Heat seeker
But cold blooded
Constrictor
Tongue twisssster
Hisser and injector
I can taste you from a far
Fear my strike
Im like lightning when I bite
Hidden among the dead leaves
Camouflaged high above in the trees
You aren't safe from me
I'll find you
Squeeze the life out of you
And when you can no longer breath
Swallow you whole
From head to toe
Killer of many
Enemy of most
Fear, none
I slither amongst the ground
Leaving my scale prints bound
Stubble across me you're likely to die
Kiss you with a corrosive liquid
The last thing you'll see while your alive
Is the death in my eyes
I was born a killer

Your promises were like glass
I watch them get brush off the counter
And landed on the ground with a smash

Your I love you's are useless like a broken record

Hi big bro
It's me
Your little sister
Who misses you so dearly
I wish you were here
You were my light
Lit up my path at night
You were my sun
Scorched those in my way during the day
You were my safe haven
I could alway come to you
You were my life
I'm incomplete without you
Sometimes I feel so lost
It pains me your not here
To tell me what to do
You were my treasure chest
Everything dear to me
I knew I could always keep safe in you
Hi big bro
It's me
Your little sister
Who misses you like crazy
But I know every time I look up
Your looking down
Always smiling back at me

This wasn’t my intentions
But I couldn’t find the right ways to prevent this
Didn’t know who to vent with
So this what you get
When your mind shift to being mentally alone
Not a feeling a condone
But as the sky cries
Not even the clouds gather
To shield me
So as the dirt melts to mud around me
And my boots begin to sink
The wood of the shovel softens up
Seemly molding to my grip
As I begin to move the earth
Deeper and deeper
Until I’m satisfied
That the knotted off bag will fit
And as I cover it
The rain falls more
I feel heavier then before
Almost as if the weather is telling me not to do this
But this is the only solution I could come up with
Who’s to say the contents within it
Just know
You were buried with love

I'm the light in the dark showing you the way
I'm the warmth on a cold winters day
I'm the guidance you need when lights go out
But you're the one that blows me out
Wrapped around my light, one gush and it's gone
But I'll fight for my light, Let's begin the tug-a-war

You light me up
When you want to hide your wicked ways
Using me to cast the dark away
Not wanting others to see what you do when the lights out
Praying my bright light can keep your demons at bay
You breath heavy when your conscience taunts you
Almost putting my flame out
My flickering
Makes you cover your mouth
You need me
I shine out what you've done
Your pocketed sun
You threaten to put me out if I ever let your secrets out
But even if you do
Soon you'll point a match my way

All the way down
I've burrowed into her flesh
Exposing part of the bone with my teeth
Yanked out the muscles
Searching for the soft meat
Peeled away her skin
Until there was none left
Clawed at her organs
Saved her heart as the last piece
Split open her chest
And watched it beat
Hopefully after I take this last bite
It will fulfill my appetite

They push the record button on the camera
Handing me a piece of paper to read
I can feel their greed
Their holding me for random I see
Wanting a big pay day
From the USA
But even I know it doesn't work that way
We don't negotiate
And take action when it's too late
When their done using me
The through me in a cave
I hate this place
The ground is cold
And the water a rotting brown color
The only sounds I hear are their foot steps
An murmurings of a languages I do not share
I should've never came to this place
Afghanistan
Wanting to do reports of our troops brought me here
Wanted to know how deep the rabbit hole goes
How much did our troops really know
I figure now their just searching for things that looks suspicious
But three men walk in derailing my train of thought
Dragging me out of the cave
Yelling words I don't understand
Why me I'm a nobody
No one knows my name
The only tv time I've gotten is between these camera frames
As the push record again
One pulls out a machete
I blink hard
Already knowing my fate
The shove my face towards the ground
And all I hear
Is the machete coming for me

I carved our names in the tree
Forever imprinted there
It seems to ignites the trees growth
Leafs flourish bright green full of life
Sweet plums sprout out
Filling the branches
They're sweet like our new love
Roots nurtured by our overflowing passion
But even the sun that provides life can **** it with its sun rays
This is either going to last forever
Be more beautiful then when the sun peeks from behind the horizon
Painting the sky with reds and oranges
Heaven seems to flaunt it's light upon us
Birds dance in the Rays
This seems to be some fairytale movie scene
Or come crashing down harder then a 9/11 plane
Ruining the foundations we built this on
Fires melting away the frame we tried so hard to sustain
Molten metal wears and tears at our skin
Only a person in the inside could cause such damage
Or was it the influences from the outside
Either way it's a day unexpected like D DAY
What can I say
I tried to show you beautiful things
But it ended bad like a lost wedding ring
And you can tell me if this ever ends
Was the love we felt
Worth the everlasting pain
Even the tree feels the effects
Leafs no longer green
Branches splintered
Fruits withered
Uprooted roots
And the bark cracked
Splitting our names apart

Don't know how to tell you this
But your starting to become just words on my cell phone screen
Trying to convince me you love me
Even if you really do
My cellular connection is dropping so your messages is not getting through
And don't think It's you
It just hard to feel words on a screen
Your love is plausible
It just might be true
But I've succumbed to this distance
Can't feel the real you
If I met you in real life
I probably wouldn't know
Looking at a stranger looking back at me
Almost 2 years of unheard words
This long on a cell phone
To much of anything kills you
And right now it's my cell phone screen

I admit it
I cheated
Now we're even
I didn't mean to
It just happened
And I couldn't stop it
Plus
She was always here for me
When I needed it to be you
I tell her everything
And she alway listens
And she gets what I've been through
Wish it didn't happen this way
I wanted to stop
But she begged me to stay
So I did
And when I'm with her
All my problems seems to fade
She always comforts me
And her hugs are so warm
Sometimes we don't do anything
Just lay in each other's arms
I always get lost in her body
I go to her
When you are away
Wishing you would stay but I know you won't
So I'm up with her all night
She stares at me while I write
Sometimes guiding my hands
I never want to let her go
But if you asked me too
I'd give up her for you

You just have the face of one of those people who look like they would cheat

Why are we running
We run because of the need to feed
To provide for our offspring's after the breed
I stalk you from a far
Picking out the weak, got you in my sights
Our speed makes you wish you were more camouflage in the brush
Already upon you in a rush
Kicking up dust
Startled you
Slowed your reflex's just enough
Usually a solo hunter
But there's an extra pair of 8 feet running next to me
Hunting tactics in synch
Chasing you through the dusty plains
I run you in their direction
So they can sweep you off your feet
Like a midnight affair
As they sink their claws into your legs
I watch as your body and the ground meets  
I circle you panting while they hold you at bay
The white in your eyes show
You know you've become prey
Waiting for you to stretch your neck out for a second wind
Then ill strike and put this battle to a end

I was there
Hidden plainly in the open
What you think your the only one who wasn't seen
Think you had it tough?
Yeah I know living in a house with a witch and her three side kicks was tough
I grew up with a dad constantly out of scene
There's no pictures of him in the house
He wasn't around long enough to say cheese
Had a mom bashing me
Thrashing me with words
But you got a fairy god mother
How about throwing me a fairy go papa
No that's just obscene
Doesn't makes sense
So I sat in the back
Wondering if the girl who's never noticed would notice me
Wrong of me to think that
To amazed by the flashing wand
And her circus tricks
I'm not going to lie  
Turning the rats into shinny black horses was kind of slick
There coats glistening under the moon light
Just a snorting and whipping there tails in the air
And two more into coachmen
Wonder if they valet park that pumpink too
Let's not forget that dress an matching shoes
You got until twelve
That's lame could've done a trick to give you some extra time too
It's only 9 old lady come on
Oh well ***** it but I'm coming too
Let me just sneak onto this coach
I might as well just get in you two still ignoring me
But no I'll get in the back where I can't be seen
Your finally in
Onwards your coachmen scream
One shooting his whip in the air
Making a cracking noise
You would think it would be a smooth ride
But nooo
These **** wheels hit every bump and rock on the road
Just tossing me around in the back
This is not how you treat a stowaway
But we're here now thank god
I jump out the back
As you go trotting up the stairs in your fancy clothes
I'm in rags that don't match
And let's not forget about the holes
I'm not dress right I suppose
I hit one of your lil coachmen
With a sneak attack an steal his clothes
Don't worry I'll give them back
I shoot up the stairs still putting on these tight *** shoes
Through the Corridors
Stopping to look at the pictures
Ooh what a fine as queen
Getting to distracted back on root
I make a left then right then another right
Crap I'm lost
I retrace my steps
Oh look a sign that says ball
I bust in like a mad man trying to stop a wedding
No it's not that people I'm just late
But you all fancy rich white folk don't care
Didn't even look me way
And I'm dressed so nice
To busy with your noses stuck in the air like the ceiling is going somewhere
I get a nod from a cute waitress
Looks likes these clothes doing the trick
I make my way to the buffet all you can eat? What that's me
Time flies when you crash a ball an steal there food
It's 11:59
Crap got to beat you to the door
I dash pash you stepping on your shoes
At least it slowed you down
Shoot past the corridor
Reached your coachmen
Gave him his clothes and some cheese
Hopped in the back
And now I'm home free
I had a blast I must say
Looks like being unnoticed has its perks
Let's do it again tomorrow
If your small *** feet don't hurt

Don’t open locked doors to previous pain unless it’s a time travel machine that’s leads to the future,present or past

My minds to cloudy for me to see what I think the future may hold for me

I just wanted an escape
And outlet
To relive me of this hate
I'm up late
Thirsting for a taste
Just a sip
But it's never enough
I don't want to feel
But I've fallen in love
With pain
And as I take a hit
My mind starts to drift
And I let the drug racing through my veins carry me

*******-
He never could understand why his mom got high
At ten years old how could he expect to know
She invested in it
Introduced to her at 16
It lived in her  
The urges for it she couldn't control
She sold her soul to the dealer
Even fought and stole
But it has taken its toll
The ends of her nails where dead
Her hair frizzy and dried on her head
It ate away the muscles in her legs
Her lips pale
She was skinny an frail
Always thinking of her son
She would say stay away from this drug
Don't become like me
Getting high in secret
Not In front of him
Did her best to provide for him
Took him to school on time
Missed meals to make sure he was fed
Always kissed him goodnight in bed
To her he was also a drug
She'd do anything for him
Never frowned in front of him
Drowned him in her love
To him she was an angel God sent from above
But that didn't stop them from taking her son away
Forcing her to become clean
But her heart was breaking into two
Without him she was nothing
That same night she od
Died addicted to *******

Winter
She buried my heart in the snow so no else could ever love me
And when she came back to retrieve me
I was so cold
That even her I couldn't love

Rose garden
Once the snow melted
I could tell that winter was over
And all the flowers around me
Sprouted with a boom
But as I laid there frozen in time
In my garden
No roses bloomed

Hell & Heaven
Because the soil was rotten
From my decaying soul
I laid there motionless
In an unmarked grave
My demons led me here
Into her arms on a winters day
But I was to far gone in my wicked ways
As the stalks dripped with tears
Softening the ground
I was swallowed
Hoping I could be saved I prayed

Heaven & Hell
Never seemed to notice miracles
But this one gleamed
I could hear the light penetrate the darkness
My demons screamed
And I could feel myself being yanked from the dirt
Back to earth
Post bail from my maggot infested cell
Set free
Only to the sight of you
Standing over me
Smothering the neck of a shovel, suffocating it
Like the suffocating grip she has on me
And as she started to dig a whole In the snow
I knew she would never let anyone else love me

Shades of grey hang high above my head
Frozen in place like the sun at mid day
Pits of black splattered on the wall
Mangled with red streaks from fits of rage within me
My color scheme dark and lost
A mixture of colors you don't want to see
Unappealing
Dull and vague
Until I met you
Bright colors peaking through the blinds of my window
Were discovered by you
You change my color scheme
Pulled the blues and greens right out of me
You reeled them in like a fish caught on a hook
Like a earthquake
You shook the oranges and yellows loose from there nooks
My mood bright red and orange like the sunset
Colors pour out of me like the sun kissing the grass with it Rays
Blues cools my core temperature
Muting the rage for days
Until the sun sets
Letting the black creep in
muffling your colors
Painting over your color scheme

When this ends
It won't be so hard to let go
All roads eventually leads to a dead end
I'll face it with a smile
How shocked it would be
It would think
No one has ever seen my a graced me with a smile
But knowing this is the end comforts me
Like diving into a warm blanket
After playing in the snow
I welcome the finish of this story with open arms
And let it engulf me like a putrid smell
In this farewell
No heart will be broken
It's as empty as a ***** shell
That was swept out to sea in high tide
And drifts towards the horizon
As the sunset
The end

I don't need to be held
Or hug
Kissed or touched
Comforting is something to much
Trusting in people makes me sick
My face turns blue
Like the blood is being ****** out of me from a tick
Tried before
Highly disappointed
Only loved once
Epic fail
No longer will I wallow and wail
Feeling sorry that I messed it up
I've accept my demons
More like embraced them freely
Comforting is just something I don't need really
To long on my own
I've embraced solitude
And lived in seclusion
Made her my wife
And had a few children
Cold on the inside
Drink loneliness from a well
And all the coins in the world
Will not wish this well

Then he
Then he
Who could love you better then me
Break the chains on your heart
And set it free
I can see it in your face
The contemplation  
How much you're afraid
Of trusting me
A second chance is all I need
Then he
Then he
Who can love you better then me
Give me the keys
To the doorways you closed
I can love you better then he
Feelings were blind
But over time your love helped me see
Why is it so hard to grasp the concept of my love
If you don't think I can love you better  then he
I hope you find someone who can love you better then me

Your the type of person to say the sky isn't blue
Or if you were caught doing something on video
You'd swear up and down it wasn't you
Why
Cause your a compulsive liar
And that's what a lair do
You would lie if even the truth could help you
You'd lie if a pair of stolen shoes were on your feet
You could lie to my face
And convince yourself your telling the truth
Why
Cause your a compulsive liar
And that's what liars do

Even the most prettiest girl can be the most ugliest

I don’t know how to feel
I smile
But that grin you see on my face
Yeah it’s not really real
I laugh and chuckle
Even clutch my abs tight
So you think the emotional I’m showing is true
It’s fabrication
Fiction
But your unable to see
That the happy expression on my face
Really isn’t me
The jokes I crack are just a distraction
In reality
There’s sadness stuck in my throat
But I’ll do everything I can so it won’t show

Should I hate you
Or date you
Should I take you back
Or throw you away like a old mat
I'm not sure how I should feel
This doesn't seem real
You use to make me happy
But now I feel ******
I'm confused
Felt like I was used
For you to be amused
I want to believe that you could do better
But you words were like a feather
Easy swept up in the wind
Never have I been this confused

I stare into space
Hoping to conjure up answers
But the confusion in my heart
Clouds my mind
Doors closed
Locked from the inside
Blinds down
I sit in a vacant room
Occupied by darkness
The silence sting my ears
Memories crash in an out like waves
I try to hold on to them tight
But they can’t be saved
Battery running low
The only light that pollutes the air
Is the 10% warning on my phone
Paragraphs typed
I often wished weren’t sent
Feeling sorry for myself left me spent
One friend left in my corner
She begs me not to push her away
But the confusion has left me with nothing to say

In our swap of spit
As we kissed
And our lips hit
You said you weren't contagious
But now I'm sick

I am talking to you but you won't talk back
Then I yell
And it turns to screams
Why won't you talk back
I know you hear me
Your looking right at me
We're making eye contact
But you sit there an stare
Not saying a word
So I stare back
You comfort me
Your glowing light
Calms me
I feel like your all I have
But your boring
Like talking to a wall
An sometimes your not there at all
But when I saw your halo
I was amazed
How there can be something so beautiful about you
Even though you still ignore me

Don't get to close
My breath reeks of death
And if you look closely
You can see the flesh eating maggots
Crawling behind my eyes  
Along with the beetles
Slithering beneath my skin  
Inside my muscles decay
And my organs have rotted away
I'm just a walking corpse
Without a grave
Because inside
Ive already died

I loved before
She was my surfboard
Our love created the waves
But as the water subside
So did our fire that could engulf any flame
Snuffed out by rough hands
Choked until it suffocated
Stuck in low tide  
Now what I felt has gone and hide
Could it ever be found
To afraid to be betrayed
To caution to put up my heart for auction again
No bidder can ever win
My heart behind a stripped locked
Cause by the wrong keys
But I ask
Could I ever fall again

If I can't find the sheep how can I sleep

Here I sit
At the edge of this Cliff
In my four door ford
Foot on the clutch
And hand on the shift
Cries muffled by the engine noise
Yelling at the sky
Asking God to open up the heavens
And let me in
I'm tired of drinking from the cup of sin
Haunted by what she did
Hell Is what you put me through
And my thoughts drag my down deeper
Just thinking what you might do
But it's all to much
And I can't let it all go
It plays in my head
Over
And
Over
Again and Again
I can't take it
It's time to let go
And that's what I came here to do
Pressing on the clutch
Shifting into gear
And letting go of the wheel
Letting the truck control the steer
Closer and closer
I can see where the cliff ends
There's no turning back now
I can feel gravity fighting back
But it's too late as I go tumbling over the ledge

I wish you well but I
Can no longer keep hope alive
30 total compression
2 breaths
Repeat these steps
Check for a pulse
Nothing yet
So I try again
15 chest compression to keep the blood in rotation
2 breaths to fill the lungs
A slap to the face to shock you awake
But you continue to lay un phased  
Arms burn from the failed attempts
Exhaustion starting to set in
I’m tired
Of trying
I wish you well but I’m
Done

Lost control
Let go of the wheel
Could hear the tires screaming
Trying to grip the pavement
No matter how hard they tried to hold on
It was already to late
This was my fate
It was my fault anyway
Trying so hard to get there in time
Before you could walk away
If only I can make it in time
I just know I can convince you to stay
But this is how it was meant to end
If I lost you in my life
I wouldn't want to live anyway
And it looks like
It's gonna be that way
Windshield cracking
Glass shattering
Metal bending and breaking
Even in the middle of all the chaos
And the car continues to flip and turn
Over and over
The only thing I can think of
Is your face
Wish I could kiss you one last time
Now it's to late

I lay there motionless
Past out from the thirst
Empty inside
Weaken hide
Easy picking for the things that scavenge from the skies
Vultures
Lured by what's rotting inside
Each one that swoops in a sin I've tried to hide
Ironic my sins try to eat my alive
But from the distance flies a black crow
Swoops in
It's claws diamond, shining in the light
These claws are the little good that's in me
Put to bad use
Rips the feathers from the dead flesh eaters
This crow
The darkest thing in me
Protects me
Buts it's not here to help me
Only to feed
I'm it's carcass
And after its full it breaks off pieces of me
Feeds it to these sin
To keep them at bay
I'm only safe when it flies away

I’ll cry for you
Ball out my heart
So much so
That my heavy tears
Just my split the pavement apart
No more hiding
No more lies
I’ll cry for you
Expose the feelings
That’s been hiding in the dark
I’ll cry until my eyes are no longer red
I’ll cry until the black lines under my eyes give
I’ll cry until the hidden scares are healed
I’ll cry for you
That’s something I usually don’t do
I’ll cry for you
Maybe I already have

I'll stand out in the open
An let you fire off some rounds
You see my exterior is to thick
For your arrows whizzing around
Try as hard as you might
My skin won't be pierced
Shoot as many as you will
I've adapted an immunity to your skill
And I won't be force to fall under your love spell

Every time I saw a daisy
I'd smile
They reminded me of you
And every time I was with you
Smiling is all I'd ever do
I wondered if you knew
Daisies are more then one flower
They're actually two
And whenever I came across one
I'd always bring it to you
Not red or yellow, orange or blue
Neither the purple or crimson and the rose color wouldn't do
I brought you the white one
Because it's the most famous and iconic
Just like you
You were more then a grandma
You were my best friend
We could talk about anything
When it was needed
Your were ready to give me advice
I bet you didn't know
The meaning of daisy
Is Day's Eye
Because they close there petals
In the evening sky
Today you passed
As evening passed by
And I bet as you took your final breath
Every daisy closed there petals
And wept
But tomorrow
The memory of you will rage on
Because daisies open they're petals
At the start of dawn

The heart wants what it wants..

Someone once said..

And my heart wants..
Y
O
U

Does that make me fool..

Because I never thought I’d feel this way again

Never fall in love
It's like a drug
And once you tried it
You get hooked
But it does more harm then good
It smacks you across the face
Like a left hook
Kicks you in the gut
And leaves you shook
Often it keeps you up at night
You fight it
And try to embrace sleep
But you lose a lot
And it leaves you battered and bruised

After her

You feel lost
Still In so much pain
But then she comes along
Picks you up off your feet
And helps you pick a lane
For a long time she walks with you
Anndrea is her name
She introduced you to love again
But you fight it every step of the way
If I knew then what I know now
I'd tell you to stop and turn away
Warn you
I feel bad you didn't know
That she would betray you
But you're so much in love
You forgive her
And expose every feeling you felt for her  
But she already knew
Now you want a family
And to make her your wife
Thinking how things are so good at night
But it never stayed that way
And now you are me
Weak
Laying in the dark
Crying and writing
How pitiful are you
What would the old you think of you
Of me
But even though sometimes it hurt
Her love is worth the pain
Dear younger me
Forget everything I said
Fall in love
And in love again

It landed upon your arm
As if it was a branch to rest
But it tickled your flesh
And in your distress
You took its breath

I’ve never felt so alive
But trying to save you from yourself
Will eventually be the death of me

Its 42 degrees out
For Texas weather
That’s considered cold
To me
It’s just a reflection
Of my heartbeat
And if you want to know the temperature of my soul
The weather would have to be below zero

Open up your eyes
See through all the lies
You misinterpret the fables
As truths
Wake up
Your still sleeping
What your seeing is not true
The world your living in is not meant for you
It's a state of mind you call home
Lock in the cage of your thoughts
You have the key
Your so caught up in the fantasies
The lock morphed into a snake
It slithers in your ears
Whispers sins
Things you like to hear
Wake up
You abandoned your Conscience at the front door
It sits here with its head hung low
Waiting to be discovered again
Only to discover you like it here
What did you follow through the door
What did you find in the dark better then the light
Your unsure lifestyle escorted you here
Now you stuck like a deer head between headlights
Believing in the fairytales
Now you want a tale of your own
Wanting that happen ending
So you slumber here
Stuck in this world
Filled with wonder
I just want you to see through its deception
It's perception
I just want you to wake up