You're going to appreciate me when I'm gone
Who else is going to drive to your house
In the middle of the night
For a midnight talk
Who else is going to blow up your phone
When you disappear
Hoping nothing went wrong
Who's going to send you long *** texts
Every night
Hoping they start your day off right
As the sun rises
Out shining the moon light
Who's going to take you back
After you snuck off
And spent time with your ex
Bet you don't remember me wanting to take you "niece" to chuck e cheese
Before I knew she was more then just a niece
Who else would happily step up
And take care of the baby
Who else is going to stay awake
All night long
Trying to figure out what went wrong
I give and you just take
But you've made a mistake
If you don't think I notice how you treat me
I'm still here
But for how long
You're going to appreciate me when I'm gone

Open up your heart
That'll be hard
Because it's something I've never been able to do
My heart is locked inside a vault
And hidden behind a secret passage way
And I don't think anyone deserves to get through
Maybe once upon a time
I tried opening up to you
But that ending was far from happy
And I stopped believing in fairytales
Mostly because of my dad
Let's just say my bladder was weak
And most nights I stained my sheets
So he hit
Until the color of my skin switched
From light brown to dark purple
And now he's not even around
And he wonders why from his kids no love can be found
Sorry pops
If my floor was ***** and covered in goo
And you were I mop
I still wouldn't need you

So you want me to open up huh
You sure?
Inside you'll find something dark
If you go looking for a heart
Maybe that's why I can't write anything  happy
I start and immediately think it's ******
Delete rewrite
Over and over
Up all night trying to get it right
But it's never good
And when I think about why
It's because when you left
You took the better part of me with you
The part the felt
And blushed
Even when I just had a crush
In a rush
It quickly turned to love
And I felt above it all
Because even though things were bad
I still had you
Until you left
Now what am I suppose to do
I wish I knew
I've tried over again
But it still seems like no one can ever replace you
I'm realizing I can't open up
Because it's not you

Walking over empty gun sells
The battlefield decorated with creators
Ground still sizzling from the bombs let loose
Vacant magazine lay in piles
Two forces holding nothing back
Letting bullets fly
Will do anything to claim victory
White flags turned to ash
This is a fight to the death
But before this all started
They had one enemy
The world
When love was around they had each others back
But it dwindle
Now they aim at each other
With no love
Each other they attack
Now this relationship is war

This puddle I try to avoid
The uncertainty of how deep it goes
I rather not know
So I tip toe
Around it
To cautious to take even a dip
Afraid I might slip

But this puddle  
You splash in
Dance and dash through
Until your clothes are soaked
And It drips from you
Un phased by its weight
As the water tugs on you

I want to fly
Go so high until you can't see me
And it's these wings I bought
That pulls the strings
They control me
And even if I reach the boundaries where there's no oxygen left oh well
I'll hold my breath till there nothing left
As long as they take me
Towards the heavens
Further away
Above the clouds
The higher I go the more I want to know
Expel your secrets
Why do we act this way
And treat each other less then men
Just cause you an I don't share the same skin color
Why were the first two made without clothes
And if they didn't **** up would this world still be ****** up
I don't know
Guess these things are broke
Cause there going in the wrong direction
I just want to go
And bring back a simple message
But I'm going to go where ever theses wings take me
And just know it'll be one hell of a ride

Your I love you's are useless like a broken record

Every time I saw a daisy
I'd smile
They reminded me of you
And every time I was with you
Smiling is all I'd ever do
I wondered if you knew
Daisies are more then one flower
They're actually two
And whenever I came across one
I'd always bring it to you
Not red or yellow, orange or blue
Neither the purple or crimson and the rose color wouldn't do
I brought you the white one
Because it's the most famous and iconic
Just like you
You were more then a grandma
You were my best friend
We could talk about anything
When it was needed
Your were ready to give me advice
I bet you didn't know
The meaning of daisy
Is Day's Eye
Because they close there petals
In the evening sky
Today you passed
As evening passed by
And I bet as you took your final breath
Every daisy closed there petals
And wept
But tomorrow
The memory of you will rage on
Because daisies open they're petals
At the start of dawn

Hello again it's me
You've cast me from your thoughts
In the hopes you could forget
But you can never get ride of me
I'm the thing that keeps you strong
Knocking on the back of your mind
When you thought of letting someone in
Wasn't it I who told you that was wrong
You don't need anyone else
Just me
You're the king in this solitary kingdom
Forever you will reign
And I your lone advisor
The whisper in your ear
I'm that chill
That trickles down your spin
I'm that one passenger
That sits in the back of your bus
Riding shotgun
There's no one that could stop us
It's just you and me
There's nothing wrong with be friends with lonely

I feel like I'm a tree
My leaves stripped off
I lost my glow, my green
My usefulness
Now I'm naked barren and bear
Strong gust of winds whipped away my leafs
The pain of them being pulled away is unforgiven
Each time I've been hurt
The bond between them and my  branches as been weaken
I've been uprooted
An planted at the end of this valley
Other trees hog the sunlight
My branches home to spiders and there webs now
I look like a decoration for halloween
Seasons passed an still I look the same
Rotted
Bark stripped away
Winds whistle through my now hollow holes
I feel like a tree that's lost all my leafs

Hate fluctuates in the air when I breath
Can you relate
When I tell you it constricts me like a snake
The angel sitting on my shoulder has been removed
His rival has crawled in my mouth
And sits in my tongue groves  
It's hard to control what I say until it's to late
My words crippling like a deceptive *****
I've lost all concept of who I am
Can you relate when I say
The reflection in the mirror has gone away
Trust use to ride shotgun with me
But I bailed from the car
When I let it grab the wheel
We would veer off an wreck
It drove me to think people could be trusted
But their words were like plastic toys
Fake
And they melted in the heat
Believing in others a mistake
It's hard to think anyone else can relate

Anger in me rages like flames
Compressed inside a cage within me
But it pulsates like a heartbeat
To much for the steal to take
The cage melts back then break
What's the purpose for this rage
It just causes pain
An scorches everything inside me
Insides like a desolate plain
And what's strange
There's nothing strong enough to extinguish this flame
This plague
Afraid you'll get burned
So I warn you away
There's danger if you step behind the caution lines
So beware
Of this rages that roars in the flames

Loaded gun
On the run

Enemies turned friends
Enemies again

Sharpened knife
Ended life

Back stabber
Secret kidnapper

Foul play
Hell to pay

Betrayer
Word molester

Out to ****
Blood spilled

Carpets stained with blood
Eyes stained with tears

The snow fell harder this winter
Without you here to control its weather
The wind icy
Stifling my breathing
The trees not properly dress
There branches freeze over
Bushes forgetting there snow caps
Drenched in the powdery snow
Winter unforgiven without you
Windows brittle from the frost
Heart cold as ice
Blood replaced by snowflakes
Mounds of snow stops me from leaving
But there's beauty deep in this pain
White dresses the land
Like a bride ready to get hitched
But who wants to get married away
With the howling wind
Guiding more chilly snow
Now I'm really caved in
Glaciers breaking around me
Shedding there icy sickles
Creating an icy prison to put me in

The last time I saw your face
It was naked
Now you bare a beard
It’s weird to see
How much you’ve aged
All your black hairs, outnumbered by the grays
The skin on you face seems to sag
Even your gold tooth looks beige
But what you fail to notice
Is the rage in my eyes that’s hidden behind the black shades
I don’t hate you
But the resentment in my heart
Makes me want to serve you with a right hook
And I wouldn’t be satisfied
Until I felt the snap of your bones
And crack of your teeth
The adrenaline blazing through my veins
Would convince me
The throbbing in my knuckles isn’t real
But as much as I want to inflict pain on you  
I can’t
Because today is my baby sis graduation
Which is the only reason
We’re standing here face to face

Your the last person I wanted to see
Nearly had a heart attack
When I saw you on tv
Gagged
Screamed and spit out my food
Painting the screen
And I know the reason your standing up there is me
Ready to end your life
You exposed the insides of your heart
And I couldn't believe I saw me
Scared of being loved to much
I decided to flee
Packed up my things while you were sleep
I had to leave
I loved you too
But just not that much
Now seeing you like this
Destroys me
Wish I was there to tell you not to leap
Step away from the ledge
Not knowing what to do
Almost fell off the couch
I was so close to the edge
Just like you

This morning is the worst
I woke up to a mind that doesn't seem to work
As I glance in the mirror
I've age twenty years
The black in my hair and beard
Have disappeared
My ears that were once youthful and healthy
Sag like a purse hanging from a woman's shoulder
And now it feels like I have no teeth
There floats a pair
In a glass full of some sort of solution
Smiling at me
This is to much for an old man
Last night I went to bed with tight skin
Only to awake this morning
With it hanging from every end
Yesterday I was twenty five
Today the wrinkles in my face
Suggest I'm pushing fifty five
Where did the years go
I play my head like drums
Trying to force the confusion out of me
How did I become such and old man
Without there being any memories to remind me

Some people cut
But what I do to myself is much worse
My scars will never show
I’ve gone after my heart
And the things I do to it
You don’t want to know
I couldn’t even put it in words
Hurt me
I’m worthless
Trying to convince me otherwise
Is useless
I’m worthless
One day I woke up
And now I hurt less
I know it’s dangerous
But its also beautiful
I’m not the only one stressed
I’m not the only one who’s life is a mess
So pity me not
Just don’t stand in the way
If you were once a friend not anymore
I’ve chosen to walk away
No one deserves
To suffer along with me
Hurt me

I don't need to be held
Or hug
Kissed or touched
Comforting is something to much
Trusting in people makes me sick
My face turns blue
Like the blood is being ****** out of me from a tick
Tried before
Highly disappointed
Only loved once
Epic fail
No longer will I wallow and wail
Feeling sorry that I messed it up
I've accept my demons
More like embraced them freely
Comforting is just something I don't need really
To long on my own
I've embraced solitude
And lived in seclusion
Made her my wife
And had a few children
Cold on the inside
Drink loneliness from a well
And all the coins in the world
Will not wish this well

An explosion of cherry
Erupted when we kissed
As we embraced each other
My heart raced
And it was just you an me
In this place
In this world
In this universe
But now it lost its taste

Hate
Hate
Hate
I tried it your way
I even behaved
But I was only left feeling betrayed
Now I hide in my room
Like it’s some sort of a dark cave
And I only come out
To rebuke happiness
And curse all your names
No one should be alone on Christmas?
What about all the other days

There's just not enough capacity for you
Not enough room for me and you
I tried to make space but the effort was short lived
Feeling your distress  
I made enough just for you to get a foot in
Hoping its enough to satisfy your need to be close
An to stop this tug of war
You push to get in
I pull away
The swaying back and forth
Its giving me sea sickness
You steady try to gain grown
But im stronger
I dont hesitate to shoot you down
The emotional rollercoaster is like a battlefield
Ducking and dodging try to stay clear
Of the promises i heard them before
There's just no room for mistakes
I been here before
I dont know if your trying to fix me
But what for
I like being broken
There's just no space for you anymore

I do this to forget
If these shots are wind
Then I'm chasing after air
Touching the glass
Rubbing the outer rim
Kissing it like I'm having an affair
Aware of the consequences
But if this is the only way to ease the pain
Then the burden I will bare
Shots in till I can't comprehend
This thing called love drove me here
Sat me in the car
Started the engine
Poured me a glass
And sat and stared
She refilled the glass when it was full of air
3 shots in and I still cant cope
The liquid burns my throat
Feel like I'm being choke
It's hard to breath
She hands me another drink
But it feels like shes the one who tied a noose to this rope
It's her who I want to forget  
Now I'm six shots in

When did I become so numb
You could shoot me with a loaded gun
I wouldn’t even flinch
Stab me with the sharpest knife you could find
And I wouldn’t even yell as I bleed
You could punch me in my gut
I wouldn’t fall to my knees
Gasping desperately trying to breathe
You could do whatever you want to me
And I wouldn’t feel a thing
Because inside I’ve become paralyzed

What lies in the dark
Is it remarkable like hidden treasure
Or will the discovered by devastating
Like famine spread upon a land
This mystery is like poetry played out with a mimes hand
What makes the dark so creepy
Is it scary how many secrets it can hold
Or how quickly it can consume
Take you whole
It's alive
And has a beating heart
There's only madness and suffering being pumped through its veins
But it's comforting
When the lights go out
No one can see what your hiding

Leaving the past behind is hard when it scorched your path
The future covered in ashes
A steady breeze blowing it back in your face
Choking on memorizes that can't be erased
Making it hard to forgot
Polluted airwaves
From a tragic event
Now the trek you on has been permanently marked
Each step taken
The ground gives at your feet
Beaten to a pummel in advance
Now every advance you take makes you think it will all end the same
The future, today's past
Makes moving on impossible
When you have a scorched past

Why do we write
Maybe to help us fight
To express with words
Maybe to show everyone an insight
To show what we've been through
A way for you to pull through
Is this an outlet for you
Or just harmless fun
Why do we write
Is it to show the world what you stand for
Maybe to express
Trying not to repress the angry,bitterness and sadness within you
This is how we escape
Get away from what's hurting you
Our own never land
Built in our minds
Shown like blue prints through the lines you read
Our own Galaxy we create
Out of pain we make
Through struggle these words were conceived
Why do we write
Who knows just read

Did you think I'd fall apart
Thought you'd break my heart
Baby please
You'd never be as cold as me
This is a game you definitely won't win
Especially if your opponent is me
I'll break you
All the way down to your foundations
Set fire to your plantations
What you to good to say sorry
Well it wouldn't be enough
You started a war
And these bullet holes are going to fill you up
You could never hurt me
Cause I'm stronger then you'll ever be

How much do you love me
How much are you willing to prove
Would you build a rocket
bring me back a piece of the moon
How far can you love for me take you
Could you go to another planet and love me there too?
Would you die for me?
I would die for you
Could you run away with me?
I'd take on the world with you
How far would you go
Would you spell out I love you in the stars?
Or am I just asking for to much
Maybe it's to tough
I just want you to show me
That you really truly love me

Born in hate
Plagued by it if you had darken skin
It was the shackles around there feet
When they were forced to walk down dirt roads
It was the word at the end of whips
As is carved through the skin
Laughed as blood dripped
Mixing with the mud
And splashing on the leaves
When they misbehaved
It was the noose tying word as they hung from trees
Made to keep them from being free
An to keep them stained with fear
Made to punish
As they were sprayed
Whispered in the ear of canines
As they were sicked on them
Created to ******* as they were beaten
Back then the word was made to abuse
Theses days it's stamped as just a word
But it's more then that

Scribble this out
I can't think of anything to say
Another bald up paper I threw away
The trash is filled with them
Piled high
I feel like I could scale them my own Mount Everest
But I can't reach its peak
I haven't reached my full potential
My peak, no pun intended
Filled with empty thoughts an lost words
That don't go together
But I got to leave these people amazed
Got to have them baffled and scratching there heads
Leave them vexed
Use words I don't even know the meaning too
Thought I did this for me
No
In the end it was always for you, all of you
And now I don't know what to say

I want to drown myself in a pool of liquor
Sip on the corrosive liquid
Let it slither down my throat
Saver the feeling
As I goes down smoothly
Stinging like battery acid
Hot like melted plastic
More then ever, do I wished I drink
Wish I could befriend intoxication
As we walk stumbling
Hand in hand
Drink myself into an alzheimer's session
To forget these lessons
Until I lose all sense of myself
Once direction becomes a foreign language
Or I lose the ability to speak
And my name is no longer recognizable to me
More then ever, do I wished I drink

Her perception is like a abandoned house
Taking over by Mother Nature
Her memory fades as the vines penetrate her aged mind
Not as well built as she was in her youth
Brick walls crumble from the decades
Faces an names no longer meet the connections as they use too
Just silhouettes  
She forgets to remember
The structure of her thoughts weakened by the cracked support beams
The signals in her brain scattered like a school of fish
Misfires makes her forget  
Introductions repeatedly like this is the first time we met
Her experienced eyes look past me
Anyone can see
The disease is eating her memory

If I told you how i feel
Would you really listen
Blood gushes from a fresh wound
Melting the snow
When struck by the sun it glistens
Thoughts run wild
Fear a wolf that roams free
Cornered
And it has me back to a tree
Mouth tented red
Pieces of me missing
Wedge in between its teeth
Panting hides it’s face behind a veil of steam
Strands of fur sticks to my hands
Proof I withstood the attack
It sits
As I slump to the ground
Eyes fixated on me
I can sense it’s frustrated
Shifting its feet
Unsure what to do
Because if it kills me
It would cease to exist too

I'm the one that stands out in the flock
Mocked because of my skin
Always pushed to the back
When it's feeding time
At night I'm cast out
Staring at the bright lights in the darken sky
Even if I was up there I wouldn't be seen
I tried to fit in
But it was a battle I couldn't win
Even if we baaah the same
The color of my skin could not be over looked
The way they look at me
I'm just another tree in there way
A predator they try to avoid
To them I'm the disease that killed there kin  
My company is only wanted when the wolves out smart the Shepard dog
So they try to stand behind me
Hoping the wolf will take me because of my deformity
But I'm still here
So many have gone before me
And when your all gone I'll still be here
Ready to lead the ones who's different like me

I should've made you laugh more
Until you fell on the floor
Grabbing your stomach from the giggling pain
But now I might not have that chance
Your gone and all I feel is sore
I should've held your hand
And clutched it tight
Now the only way I see your face
Is when I close my eyes at night
I should've kissed you
Until you couldn't take it
Now your gone
And my heart is breaking
And I can't fake it
Should've told you I loved you sooner
But the fear of saying it out loud
I was to scared
To embarrassed
Selfish and full of pride
I should've hugged you more
And not let go
Should've rubbed your back
I know it was always so sore
I should've done more
When I was your man

You will forget to remember me
But you will remember to forget me
I will be a distant memory you don't have
You would've forgotten all the times I made you laugh
The times I made you blush
The caged butterflies in your stomach have flown away
I would be a piece of paper you crumbed up an tossed out  
Letters torn in half stained velvet red from your tears
When I'm gone another will be there
To help you forget about me walking away
All the carnage I've cause
would be whipped away by the other
Taming your sadness
Making you smile again
My voice would only be water vapor in the air
The time we spent would be erased
When I'm gone I know you'll rejoice
You'll finally be free
From the thought of me

I don’t understand destiny
And all this everything happens for a reason
It just seems like a bad excuse to accept how things are

So if you stumble upon a dog and it’s dying
Do you watch it die
And say It was meant to die
Or do you do whatever you can to save it
But then again we’re you destined to find the dog?!
Crap

I'm not the type to hold a grudge
But you've given me a reason
And the way I once felt is fading
Happy feelings diminished
And rapidly replenished with hate  
You've given me a reason
To believe everything you've ever said was fake
Almost trusting you
Turned out to be a mistake  
You've given me a reason
To not want to see your face  
When you walk in my direction
I just want to turn away
You've given me a reason to not want to stay

So what should I do?
-Forget about her she's to good for you
I can't stop thinking of her
-Thought you hated thinking of the past
I do
-The past is the past she's apart of it to
I know, I hear what your saying but it's something that's hard to do.
-Just move on
It's not that simple.
-I know you love her but she no longer loves you
What about a second chance.
-Shouldn't have ******* up the first
Well ***** you.
-Well you asked for advice so I'm advising you
You not very good at it.
-I'm just telling you what you need to hear
Guess it's what I get for talking to the voice in my head
-Do is both a favor, forget about her she's forgotten about you

Dogs are more loyal then men
Of course a women created this
But If women are un loyal
Then what does that make you?
The log that the dog plays fetch with
Yeah your the stick
I mean what's more lower then a dog
I guess the thing
The dog plays with
Or maybe
Your the flea or tick
A nuisance
A *****
I mean what's more lower then a dog
I guess the thing
That causes the dog to bite and itch

I’ve never felt so alive
But trying to save you from yourself
Will eventually be the death of me

Well if that's true
The love I deserve
Isn't on the menu
So I'll take the loved that's been rubbed in the dirt
Bruised and beaten
The love that's been hurt
Left out in the blistering sun
Dried out on the lawn
I'll take the love that's been frozen over
And constantly thawed out
The love I deserve can't be found
So I'll take the the love that's been abused
And overused
Stepped and stomped on
Like a welcome mat
I'll take the love no one wants around

A poem a day
Keeps the pain away
It keeps these eyes
Drier then a desert sky
A poem a day
Keeps me from dying completely inside
It’s my defibrillator
And keeps my pulse alive
A poem a day
Corrals my faith and keeps it intact
A poem a day
Keeps the demons at bay

When this ends
It won't be so hard to let go
All roads eventually leads to a dead end
I'll face it with a smile
How shocked it would be
It would think
No one has ever seen my a graced me with a smile
But knowing this is the end comforts me
Like diving into a warm blanket
After playing in the snow
I welcome the finish of this story with open arms
And let it engulf me like a putrid smell
In this farewell
No heart will be broken
It's as empty as a ***** shell
That was swept out to sea in high tide
And drifts towards the horizon
As the sunset
The end

Your the type of person to say the sky isn't blue
Or if you were caught doing something on video
You'd swear up and down it wasn't you
Why
Cause your a compulsive liar
And that's what a lair do
You would lie if even the truth could help you
You'd lie if a pair of stolen shoes were on your feet
You could lie to my face
And convince yourself your telling the truth
Why
Cause your a compulsive liar
And that's what liars do

Lost control
Let go of the wheel
Could hear the tires screaming
Trying to grip the pavement
No matter how hard they tried to hold on
It was already to late
This was my fate
It was my fault anyway
Trying so hard to get there in time
Before you could walk away
If only I can make it in time
I just know I can convince you to stay
But this is how it was meant to end
If I lost you in my life
I wouldn't want to live anyway
And it looks like
It's gonna be that way
Windshield cracking
Glass shattering
Metal bending and breaking
Even in the middle of all the chaos
And the car continues to flip and turn
Over and over
The only thing I can think of
Is your face
Wish I could kiss you one last time
Now it's to late

He wasn't a gambler
Anything risky with his heart he didn't take
Feelings compromised by false mistakes
All the chips he has
Kept safe
To selfish to place them on the table to play
Past bets almost emptied his bank
Lessons taught him what you lose isn't greater then what you gain
Always rolled snake eyes
Seven or elevens he didn't see
Until one day
He met the one
Promises of love brought out his chips
Now he was back in the game
At the gambling table
Chips in a neat row
But one by one they started to go
Every roll or a play of cards
He start to see she wasn't what he wanted
He lost more then what he wanted to get
Her promises of love
Didn't win him any chips
She was a counterfeit