It really reeks
Like decaying flesh
It stinks
I try to cover my face
But it still gets through the crevices in my fingers
And fill up my nose
The smell stains my clothes
I even tried to air out
Opened up a few windows
But nothing works
Love stinks so bad
It's starting to hurt

I walked up to the edge an you pushed me

Light me up
Or set me ablaze
I spread quickly
Taking each and every direction
I move rapidly you give me time there's no way you going to stop me
My goal is to reach the heavens
You try to put me out
Turn me against myself
Either way your going to get burned
Think you can control me?
My rage will leave you amazed
Fueled by the air around me
Get in my way  
I'll burn you and your past away
My path is undetermined
But destructive all the same
I wont stop still the ground beneath my feet is scorched
Till every tree is charred
Once done ill slowly creep, sink into the ground
Hide underneath the ashes and sleep
Until its time
To show my flames once more

Wish regret would take effect
It would be more easier to predict what I would say next
Because words run from my mouth
Like dashing from a dinner check
Who regrets that
Not regretting has lead me into mess
But I clean up faster then a butler wearing a shirt, tie and a sweater vest
Left it hanging in a tree
With a noose around its neck
It's sits at the side of the street with a sign asking for me
Wanting another job like a war vet
My regret wants marriage counseling
But I divorced her before that step
I sent regret away
Like an unwanted guess
Who knows what will happen next
Guess not having regrets is something I might regret

Love is a trip
A rollercoaster you don't mind getting sick
The feeling of it makes you feel alive
The person you feel it for makes you paralyze
One word makes you memorized
The look in there eyes says 1000 words
Its all love no hate
The feeling of love keeps you up late
Time is infinite
Love defeats pain
But the memory still lives on in her brain
Love is the map to her heart
Whether or not ill make it there
Now that's the scary part
Ok I'm getting off track
Lets get back on the love path
Love is so many things
Yet there's on one word for it
Its funny
It can be cute an cuddly like a bunny
It can be more powerful then any storm
**** u in like a tsunami
If you ain't ready you'll drown
Lost in it never to be found
Love is forever
But nothing is

Speeding on the freeway
Spamming her with texts
Calling her fake
Steady calling
I know you just didn't ignore me
This is the sixth time
You've dismissed my line
She has me so ****** up
But second thoughts plagued me
Going 80
Is racing to her house going to far
It's 12:30am
Maybe I should do a u turn in this car
But I'm already halfway there
Heart pounding
Hands shaking
Running red lights
To angry think right
Just left the gym
Stinky and sweaty
But this has just become an interesting night
Pull up
Crap
This apartment gate is locked
**** it
I'm going to have to jump it
Like the black guy I am
There goes a stereotype
Lucky someone's leaving
Quickly
Jump in the car
I got to get this four door scion through the gate
Running on adrenaline
Didn't even switched gears
I'm so mad
And nervous
Surprised these emotions didn't draw tears
Creeping up the stairs
Being cautious even though
There's no way anyone can hear me
Here I am
At her door
Not knowing what to do
Dude you must be crazy
Doing all this for an ungrateful lady
Ear to the door
Wait is that a t.v
What am I going to do
**** it
You're a man
Knock
And find out
What you suspected
Has already come true

I can't remember you being around for my birthdays
Then again you were absent on my birth day Since the beginning you were a no show
If you wanted to be a dad that's never seen
You did it so well
If you wanted to be around
I couldn't tell
There's no wish in a well
That's could wish this well
You can't fix a broken relationship that was never there
There's no love for you that can be found
Shot dead
Then hung underground just to be sure
What I feel for you
There is no cure
Your empty promises held a lot of weight
But only a child holds on to hate
Hope you don't think your a good father
Even if you tried its to late
You were a dad but in the worst way

She has wounds that time can't heal
An im a fresh knife
Cutting is my skill
Reopen the stitches'
I cut deep
Only doing to her
What she does to me
Time is patient
But im not patient with time
So I skip verses
Cutting in line
Trying to get to her heart
Hoping I can stich
What's been torn apart
Im afraid
Taking out what I can't put in
I dont wanna get stuck
Love is luck
Stitching to close
Getting stabbed by the needle
But with this pain
I gain
More love
Im caught in her stitches
Were to tight
You can never tear us apart
You can try tho good luck

We were like woven fabric
That got ripped
Unable to be stitch back together
Split at its ends
To badly destroyed to be fixed
This love is broken
But it feels like it's whole
We flourished in its youth
As time passed it got old
An In its dying days it couldn't be saved

Should I replenish your thirst
Or just let you wilt
Wait until the ground **** you dry
No remorse felt
Your bright yellow
That could attract a crowd
Slowly turned to beige
Your core
Once a perfect brown
Blacken
How quickly you’ve seem to age
At a distance I watch
Beautiful once
But anyone else would think you’ve rot
None knowing what you need

I don’t want you to leave
But forcing someone to stay
Was never my way
So if you must leave
Don’t be afraid to go
It’ll hurt
Inside I might cry
My heart my ache
But I won’t stop you

How much do you think about me
Does it come frequent as the wind blows through the tress
Or does it pack up like a dad in the silent of the night an leaves
What will it take for you to be gone
Does doubt creep in the back of your mind
Is your love really true
Or does it crack like cheap Instant glue
Does 21 Questions bother you
How deep is our bond
Lately you an I haven't gotten along fondly
How far would you go
What do you have to prove
Is your trust weak like mine
Or do you know I don't trust you
Does your past hold you in cuffs
Does it affect me an you
I wonder how would you feel if I left
Would you be asthmatic and lose your breath
Or would the first breath you take without me set you free  
What do you feel when you like my way
Does your heart scream for you to stay
Or is it empty like mine

I feel so low
Didn't think I could get this low
Manage to put myself under the floor
Between the cracks an nooks
And now I'm stuck
With the dust mites
And dead mice
It's been so long
I've raise a pair of dust bunnies
I can describe how the were born the process in which it took
I feel like that last bit of dust you can't sweep up
You think you got it
Until you move the dust pan back
Then sweep until you think it's gone
But no I'm still here
Just been swept thin
So thin if you open the door
Just one gust of wind will be the end of me
It'll ******* away
I've been this way to long
But its my own fault
It's killing me to see me this way
If I could get away from me I would
I'd open that door an let in the wind
At least it would be the end

How close to this line can I get
One more stop and that's it
So close to hating you
I can taste it when I sweat
The thought of leaving you Is so tempting
I lust for it
Like a pervert
Imagining breast
But what's holding me back
My feelings for you are at rest
My heart doesn't beat for you in my chest
How far from this line can i get
It's to late I've already stepped over

You were my motivation
You gave me reasons to grin
You were why I smiled
You touched my heart
And flipped it on
It’s been off for awhile
Kinda embarrassing to admit
You swept me off my feet
I felt comfort in your arms
But then
You dropped me
Left me laying on the floor
Now every night I have to fight these dark thoughts
And painful emotions
On top of that
Misery has came creeping back
She sits outside my window
Tapping on the glass
I can hear her foots steps looking for ways in
The breaths she take are heavy
Mimicking my own
Her whispers seem to trickle in
Invading my ears
Her laugh disrupts my sleep
I can almost feel her touch sliding down my sheets
I can’t fight her anymore
Hand on the door ****
As I stand at the front door
Staring into her piercing green eyes
She smiles
And it melts me
I’m on the edge of relapse
And she knows I’ll let her In

Open up your heart
That'll be hard
Because it's something I've never been able to do
My heart is locked inside a vault
And hidden behind a secret passage way
And I don't think anyone deserves to get through
Maybe once upon a time
I tried opening up to you
But that ending was far from happy
And I stopped believing in fairytales
Mostly because of my dad
Let's just say my bladder was weak
And most nights I stained my sheets
So he hit
Until the color of my skin switched
From light brown to dark purple
And now he's not even around
And he wonders why from his kids no love can be found
Sorry pops
If my floor was ***** and covered in goo
And you were I mop
I still wouldn't need you

So you want me to open up huh
You sure?
Inside you'll find something dark
If you go looking for a heart
Maybe that's why I can't write anything  happy
I start and immediately think it's ******
Delete rewrite
Over and over
Up all night trying to get it right
But it's never good
And when I think about why
It's because when you left
You took the better part of me with you
The part the felt
And blushed
Even when It just had a crush
In a rush
It quickly turned to love
And I felt above it all
Because even though things were bad
I still had you
Until you left
Now what am I suppose to do
I wish I knew
I've tried over again
But it still seems like no one can ever replace you
I'm realizing I can't open up
Because it's not you

Last night the memory of you visited me
As I was chasing sleep
I'm not going to lie
I almost cried
Not sure why
You've been gone for awhile now
I'm sorry I didn't visit you as you laid in that hospital bed
Fight sickness in a coma
Your stronger then me
Doctors said you can hear
Just can't speak or respond
So it would've be useless right?
Like throwing a rock in a dried up pond
I'm sorry I we didnt stop by once in awhile like we did when we were kids
The visits stop **** I don't know why
But I remember when we did come around
You always cracked jokes
Guess I'm not the only clown
You made us laugh like you always do
**** tears are coming just at the thought of you
You couldn't walk
So we never heard your feet
You got around in that wheel chair like a pro
I remember playing foot ball on your ps2
And now that you gone I don't have much to say
But I remember that funeral like it was yesterday
Sitting there as everyone shared there stories of you
An I'm ashamed I didn't have one to say
But the pastor said we should celebrate your going away
So these memories of you you are happy
But it was my job to carry you away
And I feel honored I was picked
But you were heavy that first lift
Body empty as you were towed
An as we carried you to that truck
Thought my job was over I had enough
And as we got to that grave site I thought **** not again
Had my suit jacket off an everything
I'm such a ****
But let me make it clear it's not you I didn't want to lift
The sun was unforgiving that day
Shooting rays at my face
And as we pick you up once more
You were much lighter
You must have given me extra strength
Or the others just organized better
And as we laid you over your grave site
The man in charge said a everlasting prayer
And I would recite it if I could remember
He gave us flower petals to lay over your grave
And I kept one in my wallet for a rainy day
Your memory will never fade
Never die
And I can't wait till I see you again
Some day in the sky
I don't know when but I know it's only a matter of time
Love you uncle bunny
Forever your memory in my mind

It’s weird
Almost poetic
That’s listening to a song in a language I don’t understand
Is what sparks thoughts of you
And now
I’m about to say things I’ve been trying to avoid
I’ve locked up the memories in a vault
Deep within me
But bits and pieces still seep through
So here goes

I don’t want anyone else loving you
Because no one else knows
How much she hates her nose
And how terrified she is of taking pictures of her toes
No one will appreciate the beauty In her imperfections like I do

I don want another’s lips touching hers
Because it’s where mine should be
I don’t want his hands playing in her hair until its messy and covers her face
I don’t want another guy staring into her green eyes in my place

No one knows the things she told me
So when she has multiple finished cigarettes at her feet
Or when she’s getting high in the evening
And drinking alcohol when she should be sleep
They’ll never know what she’s hiding
He’ll never know when you’re hurting
Not like I do

You’ll think it’s weird she draws a unicorn smoking ****
While I find it funny and cute
You won’t know what she goes to Mc Donald’s for
He won’t know her favorite drink

You wouldn’t know how stupid she feels
When she pronounces a word wrong
You won’t laugh out of love like I do
You wouldn’t tell her to say it again
Because you just loved the way she talks

There’s so much more
That he wouldn’t know
He favorite color, he favorite show
I don’t want any other guy knowing her like I do
Because even if she’s gone, she’s still belongs with me

He seen it before
Death
It comes and goes
Taking those he loved
Leaving him behind
Like a used up drug
He's been on this earth
Long before dust
Watch it progressed like dawn
So many things change
But still he remains
Cursed by life
Begging death to take his hand in matrimony
Only to be left at the altar
Him an the years became friends
He's embraced the seasons as cousin
Wrapped winter in summers love
He watch the volcanos give birth to new land
Sat behind the scenes as the Mayans where wiped away
Saw first hands at the Indians demolished by the English diseases
His bitter eyes recorded it all
Each wrinkle holds a tragic story
His head hangs low from the many deaths he seen
He sees the pattern
He knows the ending
He'll be here to watch his premonition come true
The destruction of the earth
Over the decades
He watch it grow  
He witness its first steps
Heard its first words
But until that day comes
He'll watch many more go before him

Even the most prettiest girl can be the most ugliest

These eyes see all
There's nothing you can hide from me
I see the pain in your words
The frustrating In your eyes
I can see the way you bite your tongue when you talk
Why don't you let the words you holding back free
I can see the hurt in your smile
The suffering in your tears
Some things you can't hide
These eyes see all except one thing
Your love for me

Her favorite flower in my hand
Each petal I pull
Is pain I caused
She loves me
She loves me not  
I try to forget
throwing the petals in a fire
Made if her pictures
And letters she wrote like scriptures
The smoke it creates stays
It won't fade away
The smokes dances
Twist an turns its way around the room
Into my eyes it burns
I inhale it
It burns my lungs
The feeling of suffocation
My hearts races
Adrenaline began to set in
For reasons I don't understand
An the flower
2 petals left
She loves me
She loves me not

Away from the beach
Couldn't stand the stickiness of the sand
Beneath the waves
Lost between the tides
When the ocean waves rise
A step out to sea
Hoping to walk upon the water
Trying to break the borders of this world
But instead of gliding
You sinked
Like you had concrete on your feet
And as you looked down
It was your hands pulling you
Helping you drown
As the water filled your lungs
You finally felt full
The weight of emptiness
Heavier then you predicted
Frustrated cause you wasn't blessed with the gift of being optimistic
So you just sit there
Floating
Sinking deeper in the ocean
Not waiting on a savior
That would mean you've been hoping
Cursed with this feeling that you have to do everything alone
And the lack of cure for this curse
Has made this curse strong
It Imbedded itself in your bones
Suspended in animation
Carried by the ocean

She wants to know how much I love her
But baby my love can be scaled
Trying to count the array of numbers
Would be like damning yourself to hell
A number between one and ten just doesn't compare
My love would disfigure the scale
Twisting it like molten metal
Turning it inside out
I would break it like a glass coffee ***
I love you to the point it hurts
Like I stepped on a rusted nail
My love has me chasing you like a dog after its tail
A infinite number
The back trail of it gets lost like colors we can't see
So if your looking for a number  
Sorry but my love can't be put on a scale

Once I looked past you I finally seen the stars

I never walked away
Because I didn’t want you to see the knives in my back
I couldn’t understand your pain?
Maybe you just didn’t know mine

I’m not good enough
That spoiled egg out of the bunch

Joy left me
Sin slept in my bed to much

Too far gone
Pushed off the path

Lost a sense of direction
Can’t find my way back

Faith, dislocated
Broken fingers can’t hold a bible

To embarrass to come to you
I’m not running

How could I face you
Prayer, foreign language

This prayer is my last
If it goes unanswered.....

Unveiled from her weaved basket
Cookies, candy and ice cream cake
Sandwiches, chips and lemonade
All this so my opinion of this failing relationship can be swayed
So far her attempts of saving this affair have all been a bust
But this time it will be a win
It's must
But before this starts off good
There's a gust of wind ripping the sheet from her hands
Dragging it off in the distance
And kicking up stinging dust
Tainting the food
And before it settles the sun is eclipse by darkened clouds
There's a drip on my hand
Her last attempt to save us
Failed again
As it starts to rain

Who knew evil girls had the prettiest face

What do you do when there's not a person made for you
Do you keep looking
But everything you pursue
Falls apart at the end like you used cheap glue
Cutting yourself trying to put the pieces back together
Over time finally you give up and meet someone new
To you this is just another experiment
You know it's going to fail
But you try like hell
In the beginning you mean well
In the depths of your mind
You know its just a matter of time
Before this ticking time bomb goes off an explode
And erode everything you to strove for
No matter what you want a person made for you in this world
But there not out there

I've been here before
Stood in front of this door
The suns out
It's open but inside pitch black
I remembered what happen if I venture inside  
I died
So why am I going inside

Im still among you
Even though you can't see me
Im the thing that gives you goose bumps
Im that extra shadow you always see
Im want haunts you in you dreams
I watch you wake up screaming
Im the knock on your wall
I make your skin crawl
Dont be afraid
You know me
You loved me
I told you I would never leave you
So here I am
A wandering soul
Sought on being with you
I know you'll move on
Find another
But ill be watching from the shadows
Waiting
And when you need me
I'll be that warm comforting presence
That will never be leaving

Everyones scared of death
Because they don’t want life to end
But I welcome it
With a smile on my face
Sometimes I ask why am I alive
Why am I here
Hoping for an early death like it’s some sort of a prize
Or a twisted blessing
What’s wrong with me
Can’t convince myself that I’m good anymore
But if anyone ask
Tell them I’m doing ok

It's hard to believe that she cares for me
The static in my head crackles loud
Her notions that she can be trusted gets muffled
I'm just a closed bottle
With this static noise inside louder then a throttle
Blasting like a jet engine
Whiles she's trying to get in
Everything she does is just diverted by the wind
That's howling
Twirling like a world wind
Blowing her away
Keeping the way she feels at bay
There's to much interference inside me
With all this static there's no way she can reach me

Using words so viscous there almost seen
Like a fist aimed at breakable things
Blows cushioned by anger  
Trying to knock out your false words
I'm far from perfect
You accidentally hurt me
But the spitefulness in me makes me hurt you
You mean well
But I cut deep
You say you love me
But my anger makes those words numb
I lash out like whips with metal tips
Hoping to catch a grip of your skin
The sound of it ripping is refreshing
Now you know what I feel
I'm far from perfect
Un patient then most
I think about ways to hurt you the most
I always threaten you to leave
Then laugh like its a joke
Who's knows why you stay
If my imperfections was a salary
You'd get paid less then minimal wage
I'm a curtain that's already closed on a stage
I applaud you for staying in this scene so long
But all things must end

Welcome to my home
And uninvited guest
That swept in like a storm
Sat next to me as I slept
Banged on my chest
Now I know why my heart aches
Pushed away the other feelings
Dried them out like a dessert storm
Now all I feel is you
No your in my head
Beating my brain
I close my eyes and all I see is you
You slumped into my lungs
All I breath is you
Harden me
Trained me not to care
Your the blood I bleed
The taste on my tongue
The aroma I smell
What would this world be without you
How would a heart break feel If you weren't there to comfort
What would a cut feel like
If you were absent at the seen
What emotion would take place if I broke my arm an you weren't around
What would I feel
Let's face it
You wouldn't feel anything without pain

I am talking to you but you won't talk back
Then I yell
And it turns to screams
Why won't you talk back
I know you hear me
Your looking right at me
We're making eye contact
But you sit there an stare
Not saying a word
So I stare back
You comfort me
Your glowing light
Calms me
I feel like your all I have
But your boring
Like talking to a wall
An sometimes your not there at all
But when I saw your halo
I was amazed
How there can be something so beautiful about you
Even though you still ignore me

The memory is realer then you and me
And I know we hate to think about it
But I still remember
How we loved each other so freely
I still remember how carelessly with let ourselves go
You were mine and I was yours
If you were wounded and hurt
If it made you heal faster I'd lick your sores
I still remember how you would give anything to be with me
I can't forget
These memories are realer then you and me
And if thinking about it causes you pain
Just know I'm on that same train
I still remember the first time I said I loved you
I still remember that time i thought I'd lost you
Back then when things were simple and we were friends
But things change
I still remember on the phone I ask you to marry me
To my grave I'd take my love
To my grave I'll except your hate  
But if it's not to late
I hope you remember
I still love you

Then he
Then he
Who could love you better then me
Break the chains on your heart
And set it free
I can see it in your face
The contemplation  
How much you're afraid
Of trusting me
A second chance is all I need
Then he
Then he
Who can love you better then me
Give me the keys
To the doorways you closed
I can love you better then he
Feelings were blind
But over time your love helped me see
Why is it so hard to grasp the concept of my love
If you don't think I can love you better  then he
I hope you find someone who can love you better then me

What are we
I can't put this in a title
Technically this we
Isn't as solid as we'd like it to be
My dreams are more real then you and me
At times I'm confused
Abusing my brain
Tidal waves of rushing emotions flood in
I often think this is just a ruse
Faking each other out
The I love you doesn't out weigh the conflicts
It's just another counterfeit  
This we is just a contorted painting
Of a gremlin trying to scratch it's blind spot with a rubber stick
It just don't make sense  
How it will end just adds up the suspense
But it's predictable like a stencil
This we has already been drawn In
Written In pen
By the holy man
Maybe it is he who can tell me
What is the we,
We like to call you and me
I just don't see how it's been 5 months sense you last called me
And expect me just not to up and leave
But I guess it's the dream of we that keeps me
Now I see why people name there daughters hope
But I have a knife to hopes throat
Threatening it not to go
But another 365 days of this
And this we that we conjured up
Just can't be
Because I still don't know what we are

Delete
Delete
Delete
I erase you
Because you erase me
And it’s how it should be
But wait
That’s not how the movie ends
Would you like me to tell you ?

I have a burning sensation to tear you apart
Tongue kiss you with acid dip lips
And watch you lips bubble and dissolve
You don't know how much I hate you
You say you need me
But I just want to break you
Shake you back an forth
Until you're dislocated from your bones
Trusting you was a mistake
Now I will put all my faith in my hate
I want to see your heart break
As you read the look on my face
I hope you know it's to late
And as I walk away
Look into my eyes
I hope you can see the hate

To far gone
Out floating in the sea
Past the sunset
Beyond the horizon
Even if I waved the white flag
No one would notice me
I’m out to far
I could yell
Flail my arms frantically
But i don’t believe there’s anyone out there
Brave enough to rescue me
Until then I’ll just stay
In this boat
No paddles to steer
I gave into the current many moons ago
I’ll let the wind engulf me
And continue to sail

But wait
Maybe it’s not to late
I sold my happiness
When it wasn’t even for sell
Maybe if I just try for 5 seconds
I could somehow escape this cell
No faith in another
To pay my bail
So I hide behind my pride
Eyes shut
Because even though on the outside I can’t cry
I can feel the tears flowing in the inside
I prayed a thousand times
Hoping help would be sent my way
But It just left me exhausted
And out of breath
I just want to make it to Monday morning
But I’ve had enough
The only way I can survive
Is by staying alone in this boat
So I’ll sit here and wait
And continue to sail
Until I can find my way back

Blood is thicker then water, it's thicker then wine too..

When the rage has consumed my thoughts
When anger sits just beneath the surface ready to exploded like lava
When the acid smoke chokes the good out of me
When I can no longer think straight
When all the good I've done has died in vein
Just one word can set off a new feeling of pain
When I've scared you to the point where it won't heal
My words stained you like stainless steel
You know it's over
When I feel happiest when you say goodbye
I only can think straight
When you leave the room
There's so much love I could give
But there's too much anger that holds me
Its like a **** keeping the happiness back
You know it's over when I've given up
When your the prize in a amusement park I just can't win  
You know it's over
When every time I write about you
My heart bleeds through the pen

Couldn't wait for you to get it right
With each passing day
Disappointment came at night
Chances you ate like candy
But you get no more
And I can take no more
Like a hurt puppy I will lick my sores
Your number in my phone no longer exists
And as we split
Deleted images won't be missed
Or the times our lips touched when we kissed
I can't get far enough away from you
I want you out of my life
Sight
And mind
And once the memories of us burn
Then I'll be fine

I feel everything
Well only sadness and pain
And it’s wounded so tightly around me
I can barley breathe
It’s so suffocating
And I’m so committed to misery
I found myself proposing on one knee
She laughs and says no
Because she’s been with me before I was a teen

Im finding less ways to cope
Maybe I should feel up a shot glass
And throw a couple back
Until my vision becomes out of focus
And let the brown liquor
Run dangerously free
Like the migration of locus
But even then
Will that take away the hurt
I should knock back a few more
Until my stomach swells
And every sound rings in my skull like a bell
Maybe I shouldn’t stop
Until each step becomes a challenge
And even if I’m standing straight up
I still feel off balance
But you see I don’t drink
It’s hard fighting the demons now
Just one sip and I wouldn’t have the strength to keep them down

Ok forgot the sip
Maybe I should match it up
Would getting high
Help me hide what I feel
Because if it will
Maybe I’ll roll it up
And get lost in the clouds
And chock on the smoke
Forget the cup it always burn my throat
Yes maybe drugs will help
I should smoke until my eyes get low
And until there’s no more left to pull from
It’s a dubbie a roach in my hand
But I have connects
So I’d always have an endless high
How many hits would it take
Until my memories vanish and erase
How many blunts in a day
Until I can’t remember what’s hurting me today
Tell me is smoking the answer
The thing is I don’t smoke
So what should I do
I don’t have a clue