For money and gold
For you
His life was sold
Gave his location
In sin you gave into temptation
Then with a greet of a kiss
From your deceitful lips
He was betrayed
By you
A heart that was lost and filled with greed
But in this transaction you went insane
Infected
Cursed
In your realization
You tried to get reimbursed
But your faith was sealed
For the prophecy had to be fulfilled
And as you stood at the top of the hill
Beneath a tree past its prime
You hung yourself
Until the kicking in your feet went

It pumps just like yours
But Insides an empty shell
Deserted by its workers
Who complained the job didn't pay well
The environment gloomy
With no windows to keep it well lit  
And no vents to keep the air circulated
So they gasped and choked
On the oxygen that grew heavy like smoke
The ceilings and walls peeling
Draped in a stale red  
Empty desk where the employees slaved
White papers slathered on the floor
Decorated with knocked over chairs
Hallways once active
Now empty
Filled with the sound of flickering lights breathing
A heart like mine shut down
From the lack productivity
Everyone left in a panic rush
Like the stock market crash
I have a heart just like yours
But inside its empty
And the doors still remain chained shut

Un appealing to see
Like coughed up gunk
Trapped in a smokers lung
Hidden behind a scab
But it was pick away
Now this rage runs loose
Like spilt juice on a marble floor
Failed attempts clean it up
To much of it to soak up
When you come across this spill it's deadly
No caution signs to warn you
I attack like a frighten cat back into a corner
This rage sharp like blades
Words like lemon juice on a open womb  
A switch turn on that got jammed
Only when the circuits fries out
It when this rage dies down
But even then I'm still angry

This is what I want to go out to
With a pen
In my palm
As I choreograph each line
For the last time
Hoping what I write fills you of me
One last poem one final time
Powerful enough you can hear the rhyme
As the words project from the screen
So you can visualize what I mean
And as I take my last breath
I'll leave it unfinished for the next

This wasn’t my intentions
But I couldn’t find the right ways to prevent this
Didn’t know who to vent with
So this what you get
When your mind shift to being mentally alone
Not a feeling a condone
But as the sky cries
Not even the clouds gather
To shield me
So as the dirt melts to mud around me
And my boots begin to sink
The wood of the shovel softens up
Seemly molding to my grip
As I begin to move the earth
Deeper and deeper
Until I’m satisfied
That the knotted off bag will fit
And as I cover it
The rain falls more
I feel heavier then before
Almost as if the weather is telling me not to do this
But this is the only solution I could come up with
Who’s to say the contents within it
Just know
You were buried with love

Your the priceless treasure that I keep locked away safe

These walls are empty
Just like me
Stale and pale
Cold to the touch
These walls are bare
And naked
Stripped
There's bruised
Dented
Decorated with wounds
And scrapped off skin
****** from the knuckle marks
Left on them like hickeys
They've been pealed
There insides revealed
It's just as dark and cold in here
These walls are lonely
They've never been touched
Windows covered in paint
No light ever gets in
No picture or frames  
Just the occasional
Electric outlet
These wall are empty
Just like me

He laid there
Frozen
While the morning sun climb on his skin
And leaped on his face
Trying to get him to wake
Even if it stretched out it's rays like arms to shake him He was already gone
But his alarm wouldn't quit
It continues to yell
Every five minutes

Until finally his mom came in
Reached out to touch him
And discovered
There was no life under his skin
It was cold
Like a frozen metal pole
Left out in the snow
In her distress
She panic
Still shaking him furiously
Hands clutching her chest
Like she's going into cardiac arrest

She stood there
Not knowing what to do
Crying and sobbing
Tears streaming down her cheek
Snot strolling out her nose like a small creek
She continued to yell his name
But he never got up

If I was a boat
You were the wind that engulfed my sails
Carrying me
As I glided over the open sea
So freely
I took you for granted an let go of the wheel
An as we reached uncharted waters you dwindled
Could no longer handle my careless ways
You were sensitive to pain
And gave into reality
But you were my gravity
That held me to the earths ground
But now I see it was me
So from a bow
I'll set an aflame arrow free
Watch it impale the sail
Caressed by the wind the flames grew
I let you go with the pieces of linen swept up in the wind
Thoughts of you drip from my mind
And get caught in my throat
A taste I once loved
I can't stand no more
You were the balance that help me walk along the tight rope
But it's time to let you go
So I'll let you flow out of me
Like *****  
And it hurts when I gag
There's so much that's there
Not enough time to breath
But if this is the only way to set you free
Then I'll let you go

I'll let go of my selfish desires  
the memories
The moments
The times were all I could do is stare at you
The times where I was at a lost for words
The times you filled my heart
When you where the colors to my world
I'll let it all go
And allow the gray skies to take over
Allow your days to fill with an overflowing sunrise
While I drown in my liquor of tears  
As the hurricane of misery passes me
I'll allow the screaming pain to take over and enrapture me
In my ever flowing blood stream
I watch my foolish words and my vexatious ways enthrall me with torment
As I was yours
I forfeit these desires and cut the ties
This my goodbye
My adieu
To you my beloved
It's time to let you go

It’s true
Sometimes I think of you too
And then I get sad
My eyes swell with tears
And I’m on the brink
Of rushing back to the memories
But then I get chin checked
By the way you left
And instead of returning
I inhale
Take a deep breath
And remember
That I’m already gone
But sometimes I think of you too

Your on a path to conquer my heart
But the ground has been ***** trapped with land mines since the start
Buried so you couldn't see
This trail has been long closed
The warning sign
Has grown fragile
And infected with mold  
But like an idiot you venture forth
Driven by feelings you just can't control
They send you on a surge to try and claim this path
I wish I could tell you it was just the land mines trying to keep you back
If you shall make it past
You will find yourself standing before a forest
With barbed wire hanging from the branches instead of leaves
And this isn't the end
If the other two didn't stop you before
This definitely will put a stop to you
Beyond the tress you will find an oasis
But don't fooled by its beauty
Or you will find yourself in the mouth of quick sand
I advise you turn and walk away
Because you never had a chance

You're beautiful
A walking masterpiece
And I can't help but stare
So much
That sometimes
It turns into a creepy glare
But I'm just studying your face
The roundness of your nose
The softness of your cheeks
Your firm lips
The glow in your eyes
I try my hardest to remember it all
So I can dream of your face
When I go to sleep
You're beautiful
I just want you to know
I find not one flaw on your face
Even if it was covered in bumps
Oh how I'd adore
The humps
You're beautiful
I love the seriousness
In your face
Your not the one to always smile
But when you do
My heart
Died, quiet and empty
It comes alive
You're beautiful
And I could never get enough of looking at you

Plastic cracked
I seem to be falling apart
The result of your tight clutch
As you hold me close to your heart
And I sink into your breast
I can feel your hurt
Today must’ve been a bad one
Because the pain is so much worse
But what can I do
I’m just a tool
A conduit
And I won’t last much longer
I’ve been over used
Not miss handle
Chip parts
Just shows I’m that frail
A toy
But a solider still the same
My mission is to comfort
And even as I wither
Part by part
I cannot fail

I want to sink my teeth in you
Drain you till there's nothing left
Until your veins suffocate
Caress you with my finger nails
As they spilt your skin
Through your silk dress
Rip your heart through your breast
An watch it quit beating in my hands
Oops that's to gruesome
I want to bound you upside down
By your ankles
Slit your throat
And watch you choke
On your blood
And slowly rip you apart
Wait that's still to dark
I want to slather you
In red goo
From a tube
And lick it all up
Because I like the taste of ketchup
Wait, what ?

I’m loyal!
You assured me
I’m as faithful as they come
You won’t ever have to worry or doubt me
I’ll prove it to you watch me
Ok
I’ll believe you
Let’s go outside for some fun in the sun
A few minutes later
You turned alarmingly warm
But we haven’t been out here that long
All of a sudden
The veins under you skin started to bust
I gasp in disgust
You tried to grab onto me
But all the bones were gone
Liquid started to gush from your ears
It appeared your brain was melting
You tried you yell
But your tongue boiled and turned to jell
Even the thing in the back of your throat exploded
You seem to be corroding
Melting like plastic
I guess on the inside
You were really fake

Another morning
Without you
As the sun rise
The feelings I had inside
When I slept
They melt in the early rays
And eventually die
Good morning
I'm not sorry you weren't here when I awake
Even in my dreams
My thoughts of you are full of hate
It's to late
For your speeches of change
And how without me you'll feel pained
You try to love me back to sleep
So you can creep into my bed
Hoping the way you feel
Can sneak into my head
Good morning
It's another day without you
We will never see that sunrise
Whenever I think of you
Night paints over the sky
An I watch as the sun die quietly

It's 6:52 am and I still can't sleep
Counting the shadows on the walls like kids count sheep
Thinking out loud
my voice echo's
So it seems like some else is talking to me
But I don't mind I'm not alone
Even if I'm my own company
Am I crazy ?
No just sleepy but I can't sleep
The sun rising
But not as bright as it should be
I can tell
It's gonna be a gloomy day

They push the record button on the camera
Handing me a piece of paper to read
I can feel their greed
Their holding me for random I see
Wanting a big pay day
From the USA
But even I know it doesn't work that way
We don't negotiate
And take action when it's too late
When their done using me
The through me in a cave
I hate this place
The ground is cold
And the water a rotting brown color
The only sounds I hear are their foot steps
An murmurings of a languages I do not share
I should've never came to this place
Afghanistan
Wanting to do reports of our troops brought me here
Wanted to know how deep the rabbit hole goes
How much did our troops really know
I figure now their just searching for things that looks suspicious
But three men walk in derailing my train of thought
Dragging me out of the cave
Yelling words I don't understand
Why me I'm a nobody
No one knows my name
The only tv time I've gotten is between these camera frames
As the push record again
One pulls out a machete
I blink hard
Already knowing my fate
The shove my face towards the ground
And all I hear
Is the machete coming for me

I'm the light in the dark showing you the way
I'm the warmth on a cold winters day
I'm the guidance you need when lights go out
But you're the one that blows me out
Wrapped around my light, one gush and it's gone
But I'll fight for my light, Let's begin the tug-a-war

You light me up
When you want to hide your wicked ways
Using me to cast the dark away
Not wanting others to see what you do when the lights out
Praying my bright light can keep your demons at bay
You breath heavy when your conscience taunts you
Almost putting my flame out
My flickering
Makes you cover your mouth
You need me
I shine out what you've done
Your pocketed sun
You threaten to put me out if I ever let your secrets out
But even if you do
Soon you'll point a match my way

If you don’t love me anymore
Tell me
Its okay
Because this
E
M
P
T
I
N
E
S
S
E
That’s settled in
Will eventually
Tear me A  P  A  R  T

Watch how quickly it spreads
Already it took the flower beds
It runs rapid
Building in the breeze
Taking down tree after tree
Destroying everything
Separating bees from there wings
An feathers from birds
Somethings just can't escape these flames
The Forrest seems to scream
Cracking of wood
Meeting the ground
Crackling leafs
The whipping of fire
The intensified heat leaves everything  charred
Ashes rain from above
And as I flee the scene
I abandoned the book of matches I brought with me

Open up your eyes
See through all the lies
You misinterpret the fables
As truths
Wake up
Your still sleeping
What your seeing is not true
The world your living in is not meant for you
It's a state of mind you call home
Lock in the cage of your thoughts
You have the key
Your so caught up in the fantasies
The lock morphed into a snake
It slithers in your ears
Whispers sins
Things you like to hear
Wake up
You abandoned your Conscience at the front door
It sits here with its head hung low
Waiting to be discovered again
Only to discover you like it here
What did you follow through the door
What did you find in the dark better then the light
Your unsure lifestyle escorted you here
Now you stuck like a deer head between headlights
Believing in the fairytales
Now you want a tale of your own
Wanting that happen ending
So you slumber here
Stuck in this world
Filled with wonder
I just want you to see through its deception
It's perception
I just want you to wake up

Sorry for the brown napkins, tissues and plastic bottles I sometimes throw on you

It's what you always do
Drinking until you can't remember what caused you to
Drown yourself until all the pain is gone
Hydrate yourself until there's nothing left
But the scent of alcohol on your breath
Pour it up until your body is numb
Get faded
Another
Don't stop until your vision betrays you
One more
To get your cheeks blush
Drink yourself into tomorrow
To forget about yesterday
Hoping this next one will send your troubles away
And that the levee of drinks hold them back
Your consciousness on the brink of collapsing
But that's what you toast to

Where is the real me
I'm not who I use to be
When did I become so cold
I know longer feel things
They've become stiff like a corps
Not yet rotten from being underground
Coffin nailed shut
Paralyzed
Numb to the vision of her love
Buried to deep for it to reach me
When did I become so far gone
To selfish to feel things
Why can't I care for someone else
To afraid to let someone in
Maybe this is the real me
Lost inside
On the trek to recover these emotions
Until then I can't live
Because I died

My hearts been broken
And It’s sometimes hard to believe
But it’s no joke
When I say sometimes I could choke
On the fear that it won’t change
Smiling faces help conceal what I’m faced with
Conflicted
Twisted like a drained towel
But somehow i keep it contained
Convinced I can endure it
Don’t need help
I’m sure of it
Wish my mom warned me about the bad weather
The slight drizzle
Turned into heavy rain
And I’m just getting wetter
But not getting any better
The cause unspoken
But well known
I haven’t been the same since god called you home
Sometimes I think I have ptsd

The heavens unleashed a storm
Lights bathed the night sky and seeped through my window
And with a boom
I could feel everything around me die

Take a walk with me
Down this street
I need your company
Its creepy here
The oozing fog carries a sent of burnt flesh
I heard the stories
This is the devils lair
Quick say a prayer
Keep your eyes open make sure your awake
Falling asleep would be a mistake,a risk you shouldn't take
Its quiet wouldn't you agree
The sound of the wind is our only companion
Trickling through the cracks and windows of every house
And with it the sound of knives
we're getting closer
The smell of melted flesh
sets my lungs on fire
I can hardly breath
With each breath the feel of suffocation
Short inhales helps
I've been here before but only in the dream world
It didn't end to well
I struggle to remember
Then it dawns on me
I look for a sign to confirm what I already know
And there's only one sign that show
Elm street

My faith in us
Unshakable
Like a Christian praying on his knees
Nothing can defeat us
As long as we believed
As long as I fight
I thought you’d never leave
I thought love conquers all
But now
All is lost
I don’t blame you
I blame me
I thought I could save you
Strip away your pain
I thought I could motivate you to fight
But that seed never sprouted in your brain
I thought I could pump your heart
But it’s hard to love behind a screen
I was foolish
You were 18 years to young
And all the wisdom I’ve gained at 24
Still want enough
I was selfish and stubborn
To think I myself was enough
I’m sorry I could help you
I’m sorry I failed
Your pain has you shackled
I’m to weak to carry your chains
I’ll always love you
I’m sorry I wasn’t the cure to your pain

True love is a cliché
I rather take a bullet to the head
Then think there's another human made for me
Think you could please me?
Please..
You have a better chance touching the moon
Tried the love thing before
The aftermath worse then a typhoon
Debris everywhere
The damage was to extensive
Unrepairable
So I left everything there
Packed up an fled  
No point going back for love
I left it under the stack of chairs

All he did was try
But all it lead him to do was cry
He wanted to just hang himself with a tie
At Least he would go out looking like a well dressed guy
He stop looking at the sky
Because it just reminded him of her eyes
This would imply
He distant himself of any ocean view that was blue
All he did was try to smile off the pain
But the undeveloped muscles in his face made him look like he had a weird taste in his mouth
He always tried to think north
But the pain made him angry so it always went south
But he didn't pout
All he did was try and forget you
But you was stuck in his head like super glue
And it drove him to do something he didn't want to
All he did was try and make you happy
But he failed
So he hung himself with the tie I mentioned earlier
All he did was try but he failed
So he hung there until he died

Winter
She buried my heart in the snow so no else could ever love me
And when she came back to retrieve me
I was so cold
That even her I couldn't love

Rose garden
Once the snow melted
I could tell that winter was over
And all the flowers around me
Sprouted with a boom
But as I laid there frozen in time
In my garden
No roses bloomed

Hell & Heaven
Because the soil was rotten
From my decaying soul
I laid there motionless
In an unmarked grave
My demons led me here
Into her arms on a winters day
But I was to far gone in my wicked ways
As the stalks dripped with tears
Softening the ground
I was swallowed
Hoping I could be saved I prayed

Heaven & Hell
Never seemed to notice miracles
But this one gleamed
I could hear the light penetrate the darkness
My demons screamed
And I could feel myself being yanked from the dirt
Back to earth
Post bail from my maggot infested cell
Set free
Only to the sight of you
Standing over me
Smothering the neck of a shovel, suffocating it
Like the suffocating grip she has on me
And as she started to dig a whole In the snow
I knew she would never let anyone else love me

What I felt for you is gone
Naked an bare
I no longer care
I loved you
But no
Your love is polluting my air
It's hard to breath
With these thoughts of you
So much within me
It grows from the roots of my hair
But I no longer care
I'm done chasing
Now I'm just casing what I felt in a bottle  
Hosting it out to sea
And stare as the lapping waves
Gravitate it away from me
And if some how some way it ever makes its way back
I won't be here
Because I don't care

Here's a man picked by his peers
Letting go of his fears
Trusting God to lead his way
Who knew he would carry them far
Leaving his footsteps in the ground as he marched on
Paving the way
Leading them all
Black or white
Together they fight
Hand in hand
He knew the truth
At the end of the day
This is our land
Not made for one man
He speeches legendary
His methods no violence
His compassionate actions speak the loudest
No matter the danger
Take the violence
Not barking back with holding the attacks
Freedom was giving
Equality wanted
Earned
By his voice and many
To some he was a plague
To many a hero
That speech will forever live on
You know the one
That's still echoing
His dream
Came true

Did my desires get set ablaze
How bad was the flame
Numb to the point
That I still can’t feel a thing
Third degree burns
Am I still on fire
So use to the warmth
I’m unsure
Tossed in the sea
But evaporated the liquid around me
To intense the heat
Fuel by thoughts
I try to keep it contained
But it rises out of the depths
Keeping anything and everything in check
Can’t find the ways to ***** it out
They just get caught in the blaze

Lay here with me
And hold me please
She pleads
And begs
Just five more minutes
She always says
Ripping my white tee
As she pulls me back on the bed
I hate when she gets petty and upset
She always bring up memories I try to forget
Haven’t I always been by your side
She likes to quote
From the times you would get so angry
And tie a belt around your throat
I even kept your demons a secret
Ever since you were a small child
Remember those bruises
He left you
Because you wet the bed
Now resentment and hatred is all the fills your head
You often say
It wouldn’t bother you if your dead beat dad were dead
And you can’t say you aren’t happy
That your mom and alcoholic ex have parted ways
Or you might still be waking up to fighting and screaming
Between the two
That’s why you were always out so late
You weren’t really much use
I guess that’s why liquor never touches your hands
From your first heart break
Which you never really seemed to recover
It’s been years
And you still haven’t fully healed
But it’s ok
You know I’m always here
I’ll never leave your side
Not even after you die
Because I love you
And I know you love me

I’m not big into people that quit
On other people
Because they think their mistakes is bigger then them
A quitter is gods worst invention
In my opinion

In her eyes this is never going to end
She's confident this will last forever
And we will always be together
But if she was smart
She would look in the mirror
And recite to her reflection
That it's just a beautiful lie

Roll your window up
When you see me near
If I approached
You wouldn't even meet my stare
But glance at the words on my sign
Thoughts about me already declared
I'm someone you don't want here
The **** of this earth
While you inside all warm
I'm fighting to stay dry
You don't know me
But hate the way I'm living
You think of me just a homeless man
Living my life off begging
You don't know what I've been through
How would you feel if you saw me as your reflection
Sleeping under freeways
While you throw unwanted food away
My clothes ripped and torn
While the things in your closet probably never been worn
A homeless man
But I'm just disgusting to you
I'm sorry but put yourself in my shoes I'm more then just a begging man
This is not the way I chose to live

You were more then just a companion
More then just a pet
You're more then a dog
That walked on four legs
You're family
And the memory's you made with us will never fade
From being taught to
Sit
Lay
And stay
Now it's time for you to go away
And we're all happy you're not going in a horrifying way
But in peace  
And writing this is the least
I can do
To show you'll forever be missed
So for one last time
Sit
Lay
And stay

In our swap of spit
As we kissed
And our lips hit
You said you weren't contagious
But now I'm sick

Hello
Anndrea
This is Devante's mom
He's laid up in a hospital bed
He's on life support
Doctors say he's not doing to good
And by this time tomorrow he might be dead
He can't say much
He just blinks and nods his head
He told me to call
And to let you know he loves you

What would you do
If you got that call
From my mom
That I'm dying
As she tries to explain what happened
But she can't stop crying
Lying in a hospital bed
Head bruised
Arms crushed
Barley able to move my legs
Would you rush to be by my side
Even if you were instructed not to
Would you come to my aid
Stand outside my room door
If I didn't want you to come in
Would I be in your thoughts
Would you pray
And keep your fingers crossed
Hoping I'd pull through
If I died
How would you feel

I'm sorry
His heart has stopped beating
We were able to bring him back once
But the second time we lost him

The pulsation is to strong
To many mistake made
That cannot be undone
Now I will die alone
In this place where darkness doesn't hide her face
Shadows and lost souls use my body as a doorway
They want in to this crippling world
I slip in and out of consciousness
I can feel my heart throbbing with each beat
Blood coursing
Trying to keep me alive
This heart of mine is failing
My breathing slows
Fluid builds up in my lungs
The taste of blood that hasn't been oxygenized
feels my mouth
Its bitter taste is the last thing ill know

I feel low
Very low
What can I do
There's no one I can ever go too
Sometimes these poems aren't enough
And I can never really think of the right words to say
So I hide behind metaphors
Hoping to get your attention
But when I show them to you
They're hardly mentioned
But poetry is all I have
I feel abandoned again
First by a dead beat dad
Now you
I feel angry
Very angry
But there's no one I can ever vent too
So I write
Mostly at night
When I'm truly alone
And the messages stop
All I have is my thoughts
Spinning in my head
They get tangled
And tied in loops
I'm confused
Very confused
But who can I ask for advice
No ones ever here
I've always been on my own
I guess it's true
I should be alone

Your were my first
And I fell so fast
Like a car crash
I wasn't ready for the impact
Unable to brace myself  
It felt like I smashed into the dashboard
Still in shock
That this actually happened to me
I couldn't keep It all intact
And I acted so recklessly
But knew you too loved me
And if you'd ask me
I'd tell you I had no regrets
But one
I wished I didn't act so carefree
But I never had anyone care
As much as you did for me
Sometimes I wonder
Why did I even let myself fall in the first place
Because I just landed on my face

She stares at me
Lovingly
With her hands on its hilt
Holding on to the knife she’s jammed in my ribs
But still
I kiss her soft lifts
In response she ****** her hands in my chest
Crushing my heart
So I wrap my arms around her
To bring us closer
But my neck
Only ends up cuffed between her palms
I smile
Even though I’m almost out of breath
My dear
Why do you try to **** me?
Can’t you tell
I’m already dead