gnorw ti ta gnikool ruoy esuaceb s'ti esnes ekam t'nod sgniht nehw semitemoS

Throw me in the mist of an ocean
Storm
Douse me in the water of Alaska during winter
Place me on the hot sand of the Saharah desert in the summer
Watch my skin sizzle
Boiling under the sun
Tie a dumbbell around my ankles
Watch me sink to the bottom of the Great Lakes
Latch me to the walls
Throw daggers at me
You want to see me fight the waves
Want to see me overcome hypothermia
Want to watch me fine water in the desert
I can show you how to cure sun burn
Want to see me escape these chains
Dodge the daggers
You want to see me overcome all your wicked tricks and pain
Fine but you going have to torture me

It's that time of the month
That makes your emotions run amuck
They seem to be like a stick shift in a truck
Never staying in one gear
Your mood is like spoiled food
As you explain how much your in pain
Lying in anguish
As each ache corse through your veins
Blame eve
For the invisible sledge hammer being lodged into your back
Crippling cramps riddle your body
Violent pain
Like your abdomens are being flirted with
Tiny incisions foreplay
Caressed by shards of glass  
Temptations of sleep a figment of the past
Blame eve
For the hormones that sprout like weeds
Appetite expand and recedes
Like the moonlight tides
The pain come in strides
Punches in its time card
Each month
And you can blame eve

Here I sit
At the edge of this Cliff
In my four door ford
Foot on the clutch
And hand on the shift
Cries muffled by the engine noise
Yelling at the sky
Asking God to open up the heavens
And let me in
I'm tired of drinking from the cup of sin
Haunted by what she did
Hell Is what you put me through
And my thoughts drag my down deeper
Just thinking what you might do
But it's all to much
And I can't let it all go
It plays in my head
Over
And
Over
Again and Again
I can't take it
It's time to let go
And that's what I came here to do
Pressing on the clutch
Shifting into gear
And letting go of the wheel
Letting the truck control the steer
Closer and closer
I can see where the cliff ends
There's no turning back now
I can feel gravity fighting back
But it's too late as I go tumbling over the ledge

The USA is sick
And there's not an array of shots to fixed this
Plague by discrimination
Sexism
And racism  
And we just gave a crown to a man
Who beliefs are these
We breathed hatred like it's a disease
No marching or protesting is going to help
Home of the free
Land of the brave
But we're still slaves
If you're not white
You're foreign
There's just no way to shake it
Can't walk or drive down the street
Without getting stopped by police
They taunt us
Want us to fight back
So they can scream ****** ******
And shoot
"Defending" themselves from our attacks
I wouldn't feel safe with a handgun or grenade
Or even a machete strapped to my back
United States of America
Forever divided

Throwing pebbles trying to wake you
The moon light is dim tonight
I grab one more and it went crashing through
Splitting the glass like cracked wood
I quickly held up a boom box
To play our song
But instead the sounds of *** noises and moans slither through the speakers
Someone has switched my tape
Plan B a mariachi band tag along with me
Actually they were just three randoms I ran into on the street
So the piercing noise they're making has polluted the air waves  
Rapping your ear
All off tune
There strings ripping apart as they play
Neighbor dogs bay
I finally wave them off saving the day
Or the rest of this night
Now we're at plan G
I skipped C D E and F
Unless you want to see a synchronized dance I made to gone gone
With a hobo who seemed to have rhythm
But only when he's filthy drunk
But plan G will save me and this night
Ready to get off your lawn
The mosquitoes are starting to swarm So here goes plan G a symphony of notes coming from me
Aiming to sweep you off your feet
Hopefully you don't fall from your window
As I start to sing a breeze carry the notes
Turing it into a sweet tune
Dogs howl
Approving
And as you smile and stare
Your eyes shine in the moonlight like pearls
Giving me courage to sing to the heavens
I try to hit high note
My throat cracks and it comes off more like a quack
You laugh
I'm such a hopeless romantic

An illusion like everything else
Looking at it is time travel
Eight minutes behind
Bet you didn't know?
That's how long it takes
For it's light to show
What you looking at isn't actually there
It's light bending
Being distorted
By ours truly
The atmosphere  
The sunrise is lies
It's not real
There's no such thing as the sun rise
It's all in the eyes
But it's appealing
Spirit lifting
Heart warming
So go ahead take a look
At the sun rise

I lurk just beneath the surface
Gliding with the oceans current
Waiting, watching, Stalking
Disappeared back into the deep
Before you could get a good look at me
Your minds playing tricks on you
If you think you saw me
In your distress to notice me
You cut yourself
Blood oozing out turning the water murky
Sets off my sensors
Now I'm on the attack
My black soulless eyes
I creep to the surface just to give you a glance
Just enough to send you into a frenzy
Your panic excites me
I can smell the fear in your blood
Now pouring out as your heart races
You try to get away
Only initiating the chase
The hunt is on
This is my favorite part of the race
You can't keep up with my pace
If your wondering how this ends
I'll tell you
I'll consume you
Slowly.. Months maybe years but I will
And no I'm not a shark
I don't swim in the sea
I'm the darkest thing inside of you
And I know all your fears
Tried to keep a lid on me
But this one cut set me free
And now your my prey

Running frantically down a vacant street
Dashing through puddles
As they splash beneath my feet
And squirt from in between my toes
Why am I not wearing any shoes
I’m in a rush
But my destination is a secret my mind has hidden from me
I guess it’s been raining for awhile
Everything is soaked
From the buildings
To the streets
The cars
And even the trees
Who leaves hang like her wet hair
But it’s finally starting to slow

And what the wilting rain unveils is unnerving

Finally I get a glimpse of my surroundings
But the scenery before my eyes....
The street lights
Desperately hanging
Its last few wires hold on tight
But the green is as dim as her eyes
On the verge of going out for good
Stop signs bent
Posters on brick walls
Halfway torn down
Cars parked randomly
The paint faded
Covered in scared
That seem to reach all the way to her bones
Building windows cracked
Open signs
Fizz,spark and blink

Not sure if this is a dream, or foreshadowing
But before I can think
It starts to rain

Her feelings are sore
Like they've been lifting weights
Because I won't open up more

Well all I have to say is
I was raised to be this way
unintentionally

By a dad who wasn't around to know
And mom was to busy fighting drinking "joe"

For long my love would live on
Eternally forever
Like the reign of Dracula
Cursed with these feeling
Like his first taste of human blood
We both thirst
His will drink you dry
I want my love to fuel your heart beat
To strengthen the cartilage between your bones
My love is solid like his castle walls
Strong like his chains keeping the wooden bridge closed
Denying entrance to his fortress
My only weakness is you
Disintegrating my walls
Like the vamp king skin in the sun  
But there's a dark side to my love
Beware the traps doors
Hiding behind the twisting mid evil walls
There meant to keep me safe
More tortuous then the impalement of his foes
Who knows if you can withstand what you see
Once you get a sneak peek of the blood ******* monster inside me
Still asleep in its cage
Hidden inside Vlad secret passage way
But still it's slumbers
Because my love gets in its way

I admit it
I cheated
Now we're even
I didn't mean to
It just happened
And I couldn't stop it
Plus
She was always here for me
When I needed it to be you
I tell her everything
And she alway listens
And she gets what I've been through
Wish it didn't happen this way
I wanted to stop
But she begged me to stay
So I did
And when I'm with her
All my problems seems to fade
She always comforts me
And her hugs are so warm
Sometimes we don't do anything
Just lay in each other's arms
I always get lost in her body
I go to her
When you are away
Wishing you would stay but I know you won't
So I'm up with her all night
She stares at me while I write
Sometimes guiding my hands
I never want to let her go
But if you asked me too
I'd give up her for you

You make me want to slit my wrist
Cut off my limbs
Use them as bait
And fish
But right after I jump off a cliff
Trying to embrace the sky
Hoping it will catch me as I pretend to fly

You make me want to down a bottle of NyQuil
Oh how I love its taste
Lay in bed waiting for the affect to take place
Fighting the sleep
As it creep through my system
Like a spider inching in the shadows
Trying to stay out the light

But I don't want to go peacefully
I want it to end painfully
You make me want to jump into a lions cage
Poke it with a stick until it goes into a blind rage
Cut my palms
And slap it in the face
So it can get a taste
Of the blood drizzling out my hand
Like a leaky faucet

Sometimes you make me wanna **** myself

I don’t smoke
It’s uncool to choke
And it would probably calm me down
But I like being angry
And I like being down
Trying to pick my words carefully
But I have no filter
So it all flows out of me carefree
And steadily like a stream
Whatever pops in my head
I say it
And I meant it
I’m burden with foul language
When someone flips my switch
And I lose my ****
Deep breathes
1.2.3
Can’t let this loneliness get to me
It just might cause insanity
I’m ok
My persona
Is just a loner
I guess this is just me though
But the person who’s talking
Is my alter ego

I lay there motionless
Past out from the thirst
Empty inside
Weaken hide
Easy picking for the things that scavenge from the skies
Vultures
Lured by what's rotting inside
Each one that swoops in a sin I've tried to hide
Ironic my sins try to eat my alive
But from the distance flies a black crow
Swoops in
It's claws diamond, shining in the light
These claws are the little good that's in me
Put to bad use
Rips the feathers from the dead flesh eaters
This crow
The darkest thing in me
Protects me
Buts it's not here to help me
Only to feed
I'm it's carcass
And after its full it breaks off pieces of me
Feeds it to these sin
To keep them at bay
I'm only safe when it flies away

It's my fault again
I'm the wiping wind that blew in
Corroded away your skin
Now your vulnerable
Like a snail that just outgrew it's shell
The world sprinkled salt on you
And watch you fizzled away
It's my fault were doing so bad
I'll take the heat
Like you through me on a bed of flames to sleep
It's me
The water that sips deep
Rotting away our foundations
******* up the plantations
I'm why you can sleep at night
The bed of nails poking at you
But still you ignore the pain
Dancing happily in the rain
While lighting dance along at your feet
The reason your having a bad day
The frustration
The aggravation
It's me
My fault
I'm the bad guy
Fighting the battle of L...
Only constantly
Meeting his defeat
Guess the outdated quote is true
It's not you its me

Behind the vail
Is a girl not wanting to show her face
She hides her emotions from the world
Heart stale
Dried up like an empty well
She's cold like the oceans frigid deep
Love not yet discovered
Like a mysterious new species
She's to cautious to let someone fish for her heart
To afraid to let someone in
Love is her faceless enemy
The one within
She can't bare to meet it face to face
The light in her chest blown out
Buried by the memories drowned in sorries
She suffers slowly
She accepts the reality
Forever alone
This is the way she has to be
Until she meets a man
That would give his life for her
Die for her
Give her a family
And marry her
Only then
Will she lift it up
An come from behind the vail

Lining the perimeter with explosives
I have to break down these walls
Or this is going to fall
Built this on rotten foundations
Anger still lurks around
Like a slave in a plantation  
Ready to put there masters to sleep permanently
Just beneath the surface
It feeds on the nails
Like a termite
It's down fall
Will rain heavy destroying it all
During the breakdown
The love will get lost in the dust
Withers and shrivels in the smoke
The dream of us has to be brought down  
Wood would crack under the pressure
Glass shatters as it break
The ground shakes
Metal bends  
Anything inside has no hope of being rebuilt again
After the smoke clears
We will clear out the rubble
And try to build this again

These three words are getting harder to say
I don't know if the feeling has gone completely
Or if it was ever there in the first place
We've become more distance
And I feel less optimistic
That this is going to work
I use to call you sweet names
But things have really change
And at one time you said I was all that mattered
And I was your world
And now I'm starting to question that day
Wondering what really happened to that girl
One bad episode of life
Has left you feeling not right
I don't want to give up
But everyone else says it's the right thing to do
I've never been the one to listen to others
And trust still isn't a cup I can drink from
If it's passed to me from you
Lately I feel confused
And my feeling felt like they've been abused
But at the end of the day
I made my choice
And I said I'd stay
Because deep down
I love you

Its cold stainless steel in my hand
Its silver body glows in the mid day sun light
Its bright reflecting light playfully dances in my eyes
I caress it like some sort of dying animal taking it last breath
Carefully I stroke it six chamber cylinder
Teasing it I pull back it hammer
And close my eyes
I imagine it firing
My heart races at the thought
I pull back the trigger
The cylinder rotates as the hammer crashes against the bullet
It rockets out leaving behind fire and smoke
Like breath from a dragon
Whizzing through the sky
Only to lose its momentum
Then slowly its once straight trail
It begins to dip towards the ground
The feeling I felt dies with it
I'd do it again if I had the chance
I pull back the hammer once again

Say it out loud
Yell it to the heavens
And let the wind
Carry it past the clouds
Say it like your proud
To be dating me
Say my name
If your not ashamed
To call me yours
And brag about me to your friends
Say my name
If I'm truly yours
And when I'm not around your left feeling sore
And your heart aches
Say my name
If It's me your dreaming about at night
If I'm really the best
Say my name
So these uneasy feelings that you might be creeping can be put to rest
Say my name if this isn't a game
Say my name
Because I've never stop saying yours

Leaves crumble beneath their feet
Apes,snakes and wild things
Not safe on the ground
So the weak hide high above in the trees
Stinging bugs
Equipped with poisonous drugs
Spiders hide under logs waiting to ambush
Vines hang low a nature made swing
Blood stained leaves
The aftermath of a prowling tiger
Birds shout from above
As the victim is hauled away like a rug
Fallen trees tell a story
Army ants march in formation
Taking shrubs leaves and hacked up bugs back to there base
Nectar seeking flies get caught in hungry plants
Wanting each other for supper
The unsuspecting get snatched up
The jungle stomach grumbles
Its hunger only grows
Its never satisfied

I be the captain of this scurvy crew
We sail under the blue moon
Guided by black skies
The stars gave out on us long ago
Hearts cold
You can see the pain in our eyes
Not from the lack of *****
But the lack of treasure
We were told
It's better to loved and lost than never loved at all
Well we've loved and lost
Never to love again
So casted out to the seas
Bath with the Dolphins
To get rid of these fleas
The clean shaven looked lost in the waves
Crows feet eyes match the crow at my side
Picking the blooding ******* insect
From the crew
I remember the draining feel with you
The lack of civilization has dulled our eyes
Change the interpretation of words
Just blank stares and grunts
We've been drifting for months
But still the flashes of past memories haunts them
They relapse wanting love
So a plank I've built
Threaten them with it
Like a sword on my hilt
But the feeling of love was to great
Soon they staged a coup d'état
Set the ship on fire
And took shelter in the sea
All except me
As the black flags fall in flames around me
The captain and his ship both meet the sea

Her skin was silky blue
Foreshadowing a full moon
Her eyes mystique
But full of life
Bright lights dance behind her eye lids
Hair golden brown braided down her back
Around her neck scales form a silver necklace
Her lips were stained pale green
She reminded me of my once beloved
I fell for her pretending she was you
Flashes of the galaxies is what I saw when we kissed
Milky Ways played in her eyes
She showed me shooting stars
And I wished on them for you
I saw her crash landing when we held hands
She projected scenes from her home world in my head
Like a movie screen
She hailed from Venus
She was outcasted because of her compassion
Out Blasted into space
Shunned by her race
Until she found this place
Pulled her from the wreckage
In my arms she felt safe
Loved me from that day
But my love soon turned in disgrace
Man and Alien
Betrayed his own race
But when I look at her face I still see you
I, she, you and me weren't meant to be
But unlike you
See needs me
And I need her
She came her with more then love
With a pre warning too
Her species wants to invade

How did I get this far up
And so close to the ledge
Acrophobia
Stops me from peaking over the edge
I can feel the cold steel trembling
Moaning and groaning as it sways slightly in the breeze
Breathing beneath my feet
I heard if you're high up enough
Water feels like the ground
So even if I survived this jump
I can't even swim
I know I'll drown
But I have to
I must
Because you said you'll never leave me
But you left in a rush
And I was crushed
You told me you'd always love me
But where are you now
You're nowhere to be found
Not even in the crowd
That's gathered around
All their talking have been muffled and muted
By the sound of the whizzing wind
Filling my ears
I can only hear my heartbeat
And it's telling me to leap
Spread eagle
And pretend I can fly
But the little faith I have stops me
I've been living in hell so long
I stopped thinking heaven is real
I don't believe in nothing
Not even in you
If you were here
I'd tell you to jump too
Even if you happened to show up
You'd be to late
This is the only means of escape

Setting the atmosphere ablaze
Lighting the sky from space
Your end trails of sparkling outgas
Illuminates the sky
As the moon is in its absent phase
The blue in your eyes dances
This would be a perfect time for a first kiss
How powerful the moment would be
Lovers comet gracefully pass above
The feeling of blissfulness flow in its dusty tail
A memory that will forever be held
By its on lookers
Paralyzed
How many couples have named it
How many took pictures and frame this
A unique anomaly  
Only seen twice in ones life
But as it leaves our eye sight
We stare at it as it goes
The both of us
But not together, alone

Never fall in love
It's like a drug
And once you tried it
You get hooked
But it does more harm then good
It smacks you across the face
Like a left hook
Kicks you in the gut
And leaves you shook
Often it keeps you up at night
You fight it
And try to embrace sleep
But you lose a lot
And it leaves you battered and bruised

After her

You feel lost
Still In so much pain
But then she comes along
Picks you up off your feet
And helps you pick a lane
For a long time she walks with you
Anndrea is her name
She introduced you to love again
But you fight it every step of the way
If I knew then what I know now
I'd tell you to stop and turn away
Warn you
I feel bad you didn't know
That she would betray you
But you're so much in love
You forgive her
And expose every feeling you felt for her  
But she already knew
Now you want a family
And to make her your wife
Thinking how things are so good at night
But it never stayed that way
And now you are me
Weak
Laying in the dark
Crying and writing
How pitiful are you
What would the old you think of you
Of me
But even though sometimes it hurt
Her love is worth the pain
Dear younger me
Forget everything I said
Fall in love
And in love again

The thistle tree tilts towards the tavern twice through time

Be cautious were you lay
Because often we betray
She said she loved me
But every action she ever portrayed
Was erased
When I found out she was kissing another on the lips
While his hands found a home on her hips

I love you
But what I've got to do
Will hurt more then the fighting do
This has been coming to a end
I rather lose you then stay and hurt you
We've been drifting apart
Torn from each other by a rippling current
I want to work this out
But we both unfamiliar with change  
We were a long written love play that's been stuck in intermission for to long
This relationship is unhealthy
We both hurting
We both un happy
Even though this may hurt you
I think it's best we go out separate was
Two different shades of color that didn't blend well
It's not something I want to  
Our love has been stained grey  
Went tumbling off the edge of a waterfall
To risky to recover
What I've got to do
Can't be done by you

Put a man inside of a bot
Take away his ability to feel
Put a man inside of a bot
Give him a better way to ****
Put him in a suit made of metal
Take a way his will
His ability to make his own decisions
Put a man in a bot
You turn him into a machine
Into a walking zombie
Into a man who's not there
Who's not a man at all
He fails to beat the system in control of him
The hands that made him
Are the hands that betrayed him
Put a man inside a bot
And let a man control it
We all die

I once read

You shouldn’t fight to stay with someone
Who does nothing to keep you
Maybe this is true ?

Let's make this a home run
Hit it out the ball park
Hope we don't strike out
Foul ***** sent to the parking lot
Cars dented , windows shattered
The frustration in my swings
Has me angrily trying to hit everything
Hoping to when this game of love
So many times have I struck out
Walked with my head down to the dug out
Ashamed
Cause with you on my side I thought this was a winnable game  
But I could never get past third base
Home runs stolen from me
What a waste
So much effort in my swing
This game has taken so much of me
Trying to hit it out the ballpark
Will take all of me
But I don't want to lose myself for the sake of the game

He liked to pretend he was a doctor
And she was his sick patient
Touched and inspected her
Forced her to be still and quiet
She didn't move
Fear kept her paralyzed
Once she said no
But he choked her and almost didn't let go
Trapped in a world where her dad touched her
But he said it was because he love her
If this was love she didn't want it
But to weak to confront it
To scared to defend it
Instead stuck in a world of unwanted love

My words can be more viscous then a tiger shark
Hunting after dark
I'd have it metaphorically eat you alive
While you stare at the moon
And blood leak into your eyes
And seep into your sockets
But no you can't die yet
I haven't written the sound it makes when your bones crunch
As it munch
Ripping and tearing through your flesh
Turning your meat into mesh
Never **** of a poet
Through these words I show it
I'd write you into these lines
Until you faced the sentencing for your crimes
Bind you to a train track
With verbs
While the expressions pierce your nerves and keep you in place
And as the chew chew train gets ever so close to your face
Wait
This poet isn't done
It's just to much fun

You can't comfort me like her
I dash into her grasp when she's near
In her presence I feel most safe
I can detect her love radiating from off the pages
I whisper what plagues me in her ear
Behind your back I confess my love to her boldly
When I'm with you I'm wishing she could hold me
When I'm broken
Shes the mechanic that fixes me
My tears full of ink
Morphed into written words
I disclose my pain to her
In each line
Addicted to her like a fein
When I say goodnight to you
I lay with her and dream

Abracadabra I fell for your tricks
Believed in what you told me
Carelessly
Definitely caught in your illusionary words
Every thought you talked away
Failed to see the sway in this battle
Giving you my all, my
Heartbeats to please you
I gave a lot to prove to you
Jostle against the other side of me
Killed my pride  
Lost in the affections
Molded by love
Never losing the thought of you
Obligated to make you mine
Promised I'd fight for you always
Quitting, no never
Regardless of the struggle, I
Sold my soul for this
Today your still my goal even though we're
Unable to touch, I
Valiantly try
Willing to give up anything but,
Xen in this kind of world
You say you love me and I'm
Zealously chasing that dream of us

Don't get to close
My breath reeks of death
And if you look closely
You can see the flesh eating maggots
Crawling behind my eyes  
Along with the beetles
Slithering beneath my skin  
Inside my muscles decay
And my organs have rotted away
I'm just a walking corpse
Without a grave
Because inside
Ive already died

From myself
Lost in the debts of my own mind
Blessed with gifts mishandle
Strangled by fear of failure
Abducted by violence
Saved by love , Kissed by lust
killed my regrets, Left sadness for dead
Emotions once split
Blended until the lines blurred
Unable to correctly detect which one to feel
Attack by the swarm in my beehive
UnImmune to the stings
Swollen from the venom
Drowned in the honey
Life whizzes by
Liked the wind
When I’m high upon a swing
Landed deep in a maze
Sold my soul to false prophets
Hoping to be saved
Happiness can be addicting
But am I willing
To **** parts of myself
Just to taste the feeling

Her love
Is a ray of sunshine
It’s piercing bright
And I’m so afraid i cover my eyes
And run from her light
It’s so strong
And even though she’s not around
I can still feel how it pulsates
Every fiber in me gravitates towards it
But she doesn’t understand
How much I am a broken man

What I don’t show
There’s no love to give
It’s all be taken by the darkness
Thats bunkered down within me
And each time I go up against it
Another piece of me is just torn apart
From my soul
To my heart
She just might be my last chance
But if I go at it once again
I might not come back
The same man
As when I went in

What was one dreamed
Died before it could live
Plans of this
Gone before it could be birth
Back into the depth of the earth
Buried deep down in me
Thought it would happen in this lifetime
Silly me
Love a shadow I could never see
Cast out
Faded right in front of me
Hidden by a blazing rage
Burnt out
Thought it would be she
But not in this lifetime
Not for me
Once a dream
Long died before it could be seen
Love
Not in this lifetime for me
Maybe in another lifetime
She...
We...
Maybe in another lifetime

If you can forgive love can truly live
Letting go of what scared your past
Clears out your walking path
Holding on is a poison that destroys you
Corrosive
Deteriorating your heart
A venom immune to any cure
Forgive
Lifting the straps holding you down
Your bound no more
Only when you forgive can you truly love
Only if you can forgive

Pulls pin from grenade
One one thousand...
There's not much time left
What are we going to do
Two one thousand....
Should we die together
Or should I jump on top of this grenade for you
Trying to protect you from the blast get away!
Three one thousand....
The clock is ticking
We're still in this position
Love,pain,hurt,apologies then love again
Four one thousand...
It's getting old but I still can't let you go
I don't know what to do
I'm confused and hurt at the thought of losing you
Five one thousand...
Wait..I thought we still had more time!
Boom...

If I can't find the sheep how can I sleep

You could see the dread in her eyes
She loved him she really did
But now the I Do
Made her realize she lied
Holding the regret back
She tells it to hide
She wants to behead this amalgamation
For its crimes
Like they did in the old times
The ring chocked her finger
She felt shackled
A prisoner, who hated her inmate
Baffled how quickly her feelings  changed
Not knowing if it was her or he at fault
They fought
An words flew out of her mouth like salt to his wounds
Not knowing how to tell it to the groom
Soon she cried at night
She hated she no longer loved him
She feels so alone
Even when he's here he often isn't home
Hopefully it's a faze she tries to stay strong
This Isn't how it suppose to be after the wedding
Divorce is something she begets
But out of respect
She swallows the threat
And hope
That after the wedding life will be better then this

Fits of rage goes off inside my head
I can't tame me
There's an empty cage open
But I can't find a clue what's been set free
Hidden away inside me
Every once in awhile it goes on a spree
Crippling the good part of me
So I've been corrupted from the core
From this unknown disease
Spawned inside  
Pumping through my veins
Any good intentions by another is in vane
They can't be trusted in my brain
I'm my own worst enemy
The inner me
Jealous what it sees on the outside from within
Wants me only for itself
So it fends off anyone else
Because it wants my by myself

I can see it now
I’m forcing myself to be there
When all you wanted to do was be alone and sink
But I pulled you out the lake anyway
And now I’m the one who’s going to drown

It hurts
But I'm not in pain

To risk trust and know you'll be betrayed is insanity
But it's a risk I was willing to take
That makes me insane

It hurts
But I'm not In pain

These trust issues eat me alive
So much
That there's a hole dug so deep inside my heart
I could crawl in and hide
And if it got cold
I could pull in the sky

It hurts
But I'm not in pain

Anger
A stain that can't be washed away
Seeped into my skin  
And built up like callus  

It all hurts
But I'm use to the pain

It pumps just like yours
But Insides an empty shell
Deserted by its workers
Who complained the job didn't pay well
The environment gloomy
With no windows to keep it well lit  
And no vents to keep the air circulated
So they gasped and choked
On the oxygen that grew heavy like smoke
The ceilings and walls peeling
Draped in a stale red  
Empty desk where the employees slaved
White papers slathered on the floor
Decorated with knocked over chairs
Hallways once active
Now empty
Filled with the sound of flickering lights breathing
A heart like mine shut down
From the lack productivity
Everyone left in a panic rush
Like the stock market crash
I have a heart just like yours
But inside its empty
And the doors still remain chained shut