I just wanted an escape
And outlet
To relive me of this hate
I'm up late
Thirsting for a taste
Just a sip
But it's never enough
I don't want to feel
But I've fallen in love
With pain
And as I take a hit
My mind starts to drift
And I let the drug racing through my veins carry me

Follow me over the rainbow
Through the clouds
To its birthplace an back down
Let's dance through the color spectrum
To the other side of the rainbow
Let's find all shades of green an expose a new one
I'll take you to a place where imagination an creativity roams free
The tress mimic different colors
They seem to dance from the breeze
I'll take you somewhere you've never seen
Where oceans home clouds
And fish swim in the sky like the sea
You can surf the grass because they crash like waves
Even the sun isn't the same it shoots out different colored Rays
This could be our world if your willing to go
I'll show you there's more at the end of the rainbow then a *** of gold

She asked me
“Now that I’m gone, how does the sun feel’
It feels unreal
Like it’s not even there
There’s no radiating warmth
And when I stop and reach for the sky
It slips through my fingers
I’m just grabbing at air
But when I stand motionless
Does the earth stop spinning
Do the birds that dare to challenge the sky
Do there wings stop flapping midair
Would the fish in the sea
Stop swimming because of me
If I stop moving
Would animals stop living
Would a lion stop haunting
Would a dog stop digging
Would the moon
Escape from its orbit
And head towards earth
If I stopped moving
Would the world even care

Don’t wait till I’m laying in a casket
To tell me how you really feel
Save your tears
And the sobbing you’re doing across my lifeless chest
Quit the yelling
And the heartbroken distress you’re in
You’re only disrupting my rest
It doesn’t matter what you reveal
It won’t return the life and color to my skin
No my eyes won’t well up
From the revelation of feelings you’ve been hiding within
My face would stay as dryer as desert snow
Its way to late

Fires rages, roars above the ground never extinguish by life

As you inhale
So do I
But not in the same way
You inhale to drown yourself in the feeling of love
It courses through your veins
And camps In your lungs
Engulfing your heart
And as you exhale  
Your release your love in a cloud of smoke
I hold my breath
Trying not to breath it in
Scared of the long lasting affect
Trying to protect my health
You inhale and exhale again
You step towards me
Expelling smoke from your mouth  
Your love in the air
I take a step back
The gassy odor stains my clothes
Seeps into my skin
Chopping my breathing as it chokes me
Your eager to take another inhale
To breath it in
I'm just afraid of the second hand smoke

To much of a wild card to be in a pack
I wonder through the woods
While the other wolves wants to attack
I bay at the moon during the day
While the others wait for the sun to go away
If you look at my paw prints you'd see a difference
My fur coat darker then most
A solo hunter
Can't be detected when I prowl
When threatened
You can hear the viciousness in my growl
Blood swarming in the air
From a mutt challenging the alpha
They don't see him fit to rule
Killing each other over a bone
So they fight hoping he can be dethroned
Stronger on my own
A lone wolf
Walking the dirt paths I choose
Not following behind someones own

Poetry doesn't have a ethnicity or face just its words

Not everyone who say they love you really do, beware

You ain't no damsel in distress
I might have saved you once
But I retired this S on my chest
I tried to love you
But your just kryptonite In a Sunday's dress
You might have been the one once a midnight dream
But I get my power from the sun
So go out and have fun don't worry about me
No more saving hearts
Not everything in superman can heal as fast as my body parts
Your blue eyes were my weakness
My love for you was like a nerds love for comic con
I would've held a ton of bricks to help you cross this bridge
But now I'm tearing it down
With a gust of wind from within
Loving you has changed me
I'm not the superman I use to be

You are only my dad by blood not by association

I ignore you so that you know I am here

Where pride hides
And the truth is muted
Covered by little white lies
Say hello to my bad side
Where the demons bay like wolves
That's moon eclipse the sun
Painting the sky red
Stained by its blood
It's been pierced by a rocket an left for dead
My bad side
Where the darkness roams free
Chasing the light
Holding it in glass bottles as trophies
Manipulation is the way of life
Hate the ambassador
Rage bake in fires
Forge by a missing father
Raised by a tortured mother
My bad side
Slept with temptation
Birth lust
Girls hunted like prey
Only to be released before the ****
Regret has no meaning
It's not found
The world is broken
It's flipped upside down
So rain seems the fall from the ground
My bad side
Where there so many unhuman things found
Say hello to my bad side
Where the grass isn't green at all

Hopefully his forgiveness can outweigh these sins
Use to walk the path of light
But now somehow I slipped into the dark
I've been parked there
Like a car that won't start
Hopefully we can go to heaven
Cause these eyes fall on wicked things
Wondering if I like what I see
Hoping his grace can spare thee
Hopefully we can go to heaven
I want to be what's past the clouds
And I'm saved
This earth is hell and wants to **** me
I pray
That I don't fall into its shackles like a slave
Hopefully we can go to heaven

When the day comes kiss your kids goodbye
Pack up your things with your heads held high
And try not to cry
Cause we got to be strong
Put on a tough face an promise your love ones your coming back home
Cause it'll be us on the front lines
Us who will be the first to hear the bullets fly
And the rockets and tanks
Out here where just a number
Same thing back home
If you think they care our lives on the line
Your horribly wrong an a lil naive
It's us who will be in the trenches fighting for their lives
Because their to priceless to fight an die
They have to many things to loose
They have a lot to prove
But so do we too
Some of us are fighting for the promise of a big financial break
To put food on our babies plate
To stop the bank from taking
Maybe they will train us
And give us a way to survive
Or maybe it's a way to get rid of us
To deplete or population
We outweigh them
But still there on top
They control the flow of money
While our wells run dry
So when that day comes
It's us who's on the front lines
Trying to provide for the ones we love back home
And it's not like we have a choice
We are the ones picked first
But we don't back down
Be ready
When the rich wage war it's the poor who die

I'm sorry
I failed you
I know I promised to always hold on
But I just couldn't keep you in my grip
I tried to always hold you in the palm of my hands
But you just filtered through the seems like sand
Im ashamed to see
All the scars you bare on your body because of me
I let you go
And watched everyone else pull you down
Back riddle with marks
From being drugged on the ground
You always treated some like royalty
But you've never been crowned
I know I let you down
But I'm back now
Tried reaching out to pick you back up
But you just slapped my hand away
And frowned
What don't you remember me?
Aren't I still the person
You see
When you look in the mirror
Aren't you still looking at me?  
I know I let you down
Tried taking care of everyone else
But never looked after me

Who am I
I thought I knew
But now I don't have a clue
I seem to have lost myself
Like a book missing from its shelf
Not to be read
But removed
A book that shouldn't have been written
Before I thought I was a kind person
I must have been kidding
Yes I was designed to solve others pain
But now I've become accustomed to using what you tell me against you
Sharing your deepest feeling and fears will just be in vain
Wanted to be a problem solver
But I just create more
I wanted to be the one everyone trust
Conquer anger
But couldn't defeat my own
Once thought I was a confidence booster
It became my job like a career
But I knew ******* with words
So suddenly And in a flash
Like a car you didn't see coming from your rear
Thought I was the person who was suppose to feel
But inside I'm cold
Who am I

Laying on this cold steel
That lead me into this tunnel
Seems like it goes on forever
Its pitch black fills the empty emotions
The vibration of the steel
Wakes a sleeping heart
Pumping muddy blood through my veins
Rotting my bones
Killing my nerves
Manufacturing thoughts
Only for them to get lost in the dark
In this tunnel
They don't go far
There's no light for them to cling to
So they haunt me
Wanting a reason to be
The agitated steel vibrates stronger
Rattling my teeth  
Forcing me to search for the source of its movements
An as I stumble through the darkness
A stream of light flows through the tunnel
A glimmer of hope
But then it's ripped away
By a shocking revelation
By the train that's coming for me

As I lay here waiting
Watching
The breeze sends a chill down my spin as it drys the cold sweat
I've done this a thousand times
An each time it's taken a piece of me
I feel empty like a bullet shell I just fired
I've been doing this to long
Far away from home
I've forgotten there voices
Their faces blurry
Your memories replaced by nightmares of dead bodies falling
As I'm lost in thought
I get a message
The target has arrived
I regain focus
And stare down the scope
Searching for you through out the crowd
Found you standing in the open
I can see your heartbeat from outside your chest
I can see you exhale
And wipe off the sweat
You seem nervous
I focus again an take aim
But you don't move
You stand there
Like your begging for me to shoot
You check your time piece growing more anxious
Your just another sacrificial lamb to me
I put my finger on the trigger
Take a deep breath gaining composer
The wind picks up forcing me to change the dial on the scope
As I'm ready to firer
I can hear feet teasing the ground behind me
But before I can react I feel a sharp pain an the world fades to black

I like it when you were away
It was easier for everything to be faked
But now that your here  
Everything is real again
I liked it when you were far away
Because then we could pretend
That this would never end
But now that you're here
Wanting to believe in you has just left me with fear
Please go far away
Because now that your here
Everything I felt
Has disappeared

Peer pressures a *****
But I don't care what you think
So you can't pressure me
I don't drink
Or smoke
So you can pass the **** past me
As you choke on the smoke
Until your eyes tear
Oh dear
If getting high is fly
I'll stay grounded
And you can sip on your drink
Until you're on the brink
Of forgetting your name
And in the morning feeling ashamed
Because you text me uncontrollably
Saying you love me
Asking did I still love you
Only to admit
What you said was an accident
And that really wasn't you
You didn't mean it
You're sorry
But that isn't true
Because when you drink
It's something you always do

I loved before
She was my surfboard
Our love created the waves
But as the water subside
So did our fire that could engulf any flame
Snuffed out by rough hands
Choked until it suffocated
Stuck in low tide  
Now what I felt has gone and hide
Could it ever be found
To afraid to be betrayed
To caution to put up my heart for auction again
No bidder can ever win
My heart behind a stripped locked
Cause by the wrong keys
But I ask
Could I ever fall again

This is how I show my love
Let my heart sore above
Like an eagle
And she's the wind beneath my wings
The one that carried me
Now she's the storm that grounded me
The quicksand beneath my feet
I try to fight it but she's pulling me in
This is a battle I thought I could win
Thought she was my angel
But she's a demon
crawling beneath my skin
Trying to posses me, suppress me
My love for her comes a go's
Yea it fade like the day
But she left her mark so it'll always stay
Her gazed captivated me
But Her intentions aren't clear
Even though she's no good she completes me
We clash back and forth
I wont let her win
My mistakes will lead to my own demise
I fell in love with an angel
But to my surprise
She was a demon in disguise

I don't want to talk to you
Just please go away
Leave me alone
I have nothing else to say
As I typed
I'm done were threw
I no longer want to be with you
But somehow on the screen it says
No please stay
Your all I have
And all I need
But in my heart I feel
We're done
I'm drained an have nothing more
Like the blood has been ****** out of me
And as I type these words
Somehow they change

I can feel the waves crashing
As I float beneath the sea
Motionless
Gliding with the currents
Carrying me over the rugged rocks
As my body is shredded I dare not scream
That would just be wasted breath
Air I desperately need
So I take the pain
Without a fight  
I remain motionless
And just watch the waves

Born like any normal foal at first sight
Out it came with its four legs in the spring light
Its hair shined in the sunlight
Its first steps weren't good
But soon it got them right
Two days past before anything strange came about
A horn appeared in the center of its head
No longer a normal colt
An anomaly that was thought to be pure bread
But instead It turned into something magical
Its hair turned icy white
It would shimmer under the moonlight
Its horn grew in a spiral with a solid gold tip
Its tail whipped as it walked
Beautiful
But a defect
Stumbled upon human eyesight
An anomaly never seen before
Stolen under the cover of night
Put to sleep to be humane and polite
Then dissected

There's a lot of pain in her eyes
She tried to hold all it back
But it showed when she cried
She was promised happiness
But It was all a lie
She believed in happy endings
Just not in fairy tales
She burned the pages of her own story
Believed she could start a new
Looking into her eyes
The unwritten story was sown
Painfully crystal blue
Tried love but it backfired Camouflage her hurting behind a smile  
But every once in awhile
You could see the pain In her eyes

He's lost in the wilderness
This world taught him not to depend on others
He couldn't trust anyone
So he turned his back on everyone
He couldn't even trust the trees
Thought the leaves would abandon him
Cursed the breeze
Because it whispered through the hollow bark
His trust issues run deep like the underground spring he drank from
An even though it was fresh
He boiled it to get rid of any contaminated mess
Chose the life of solitude
Conclude that trust was just a ruse
To paranoid
Lead him to even mistrust himself

The world is at a stand still
Only I move
Land mines planted for me to step on defused
I've seen how I end
I conspired against the truth
Words from the TV brain washing my youth
A road already paved for me
But I choose a dusty trail
Off the map I track
My tale rewritten
Edited by the all mighty
In this moment I'm not alone
She walks beside me
My dusty trail is now her own
Conceived on the same day
Out of the cold Birth something warm
In this moment

*******-
He never could understand why his mom got high
At ten years old how could he expect to know
She invested in it
Introduced to her at 16
It lived in her  
The urges for it she couldn't control
She sold her soul to the dealer
Even fought and stole
But it has taken its toll
The ends of her nails where dead
Her hair frizzy and dried on her head
It ate away the muscles in her legs
Her lips pale
She was skinny an frail
Always thinking of her son
She would say stay away from this drug
Don't become like me
Getting high in secret
Not In front of him
Did her best to provide for him
Took him to school on time
Missed meals to make sure he was fed
Always kissed him goodnight in bed
To her he was also a drug
She'd do anything for him
Never frowned in front of him
Drowned him in her love
To him she was an angel God sent from above
But that didn't stop them from taking her son away
Forcing her to become clean
But her heart was breaking into two
Without him she was nothing
That same night she od
Died addicted to *******

To love at a distance can be torturous, as you always desire closeness to your beloved.

We lived in two different time zones
When the sun rise for me
The moon illuminate the night for her
When I'm wide awake
She's dreaming of a world unknown
I often urge for a touch
To clutch her in my arms
But each thought gets lost in the distance we share
Loving her is harder then loving her if she was here

I'm not the type of guy who cares
If you come to me with complaints of guys wondering eyes
You'll just get a blank stare
From two dead eyes
That pierce you
And behind them
You can't see
The trapped anger
Banging from behind my retinas
Wanting desperately to be set free
Desensitized
Not much of a friendly guy
Friends I once had
Never last
I hate people
Like a white racists
Talking about how much he adores the black race
Desensitized from the comforting I've never had
But I'm glad
Who wants to feel
When people aim at your emotions
With the intent to ****
Mine are being kept in a styrofoam box
With a three gage lock
And there they will rot

Hi big bro
It's me
Your little sister
Who misses you so dearly
I wish you were here
You were my light
Lit up my path at night
You were my sun
Scorched those in my way during the day
You were my safe haven
I could alway come to you
You were my life
I'm incomplete without you
Sometimes I feel so lost
It pains me your not here
To tell me what to do
You were my treasure chest
Everything dear to me
I knew I could always keep safe in you
Hi big bro
It's me
Your little sister
Who misses you like crazy
But I know every time I look up
Your looking down
Always smiling back at me

If you think I won't leave
Because you have a hold on me
Girl please
I wouldn't say bless you if you sneezed
You females
Are like the entrails
Of a snails tail
Meaning you're disgusting
Lol just kidding
Not really
If I was between your fingers
You still wouldn't have a grip on me
Maybe you thought
If you said sweet things
And buttered me up
You'd get bling bling
And shiny things
And hoped my emotions
Would pour out
Like a **** that burst open
I mean to disappoint
Even though I'm here
I've already walked away

Most people say
“You don’t know what you have till it’s gone”
That isn’t true
We know exactly what we have
We just never think it’ll leave
And then we try and make up for how we treated that thing we had
And most of the time it’s to late

What's left for me
I'm not depressed happy or sad
Not upset angry or mad
Emotionless
As calm as the sea after the hurricane  
Only thought after thought in my brain
What are they telling me
My brain doesn't even understand me
And yet it controls me?
What a contradiction
Feeling sorry for me ?
Dont, empathy I dont need
It would be a waste of time I don't have
Just waiting on the next wave this world going to throw at me
Taking it head on
Head strong
I'd sell you some thoughts but I'm selfish
Plus you couldn't handle them
Chances of descripting is slim to none
Thoughts mysterious like rain when its sunny
So you get none
I have nothing else to say  
But what's left for me

Have I ever cheated nope
But fighting these temptations
Have left me feeling depleted
And the sin of wanting another's skin against mine
Pulls and tears at my flesh
Trying to rip it apart
I guess I still have some resentment of you  in my heart
And the thought of you doing me *****
Makes me think that cheating might be worth it
But that would make me just like you
And I don't want to make that statement that every man is unfaithful true
So I'll stay down
And continue you hang around
But don't you ever forget that I'm perceptive
And I think all girls are deceptive
Have I ever cheated
Nope
Not on any girl or you
And I don't plan too

Yeah I got a couple loose
The result of this word
My brain resembles the mechanics of a ticking clock
It's lost it's tick
It's tock
My gears are rusted
From the constant rain
Drenched from the constant pain
I need to be taking back to my maker
The creator of me
Back to the factory
I am a machine
Created on a assembly line
That's lost its usefulness
My gears gets stuck when you turn me on
I need to be update
I'm a antique that's lots its value
You discovered me
Un buried me
Then left me to rot
When you notice I didn't work right
But all I needed was a touch up
Just needed to put my screws back in there right place

Back on your face
In more than one place
Your cheap tricks to get rid of me didn't work to well
Instead I grew more and swelled
Blackened because of you picking at me
Left marks
Ignored my warnings
Ruined my fun
So I ruined what you liked the most
Right at the center of your face
For all to see
You thought when I went away
It was the end of me
But I just hid undercover
Waiting for the perfect moment
I show at the worst times
When you least expect it
And if somehow
You find a way to suppress me
I'll be back to show a third time

I would've told you that love at first sight
Was just a bad joke for me to laugh at
But it was a disease that infected me
Your hello was full of love
And it cornered me
Wrapped my in its grip
Unwilling to let go
Your hello was full of joy
And it filled me with happiness
I only laughed when you were around
Your hello was magical
All I could see in my future was you
But now that your gone
Your hello has become a curse
There's still a remnant of you
You had me at hello
Until you said goodbye

Shades of grey hang high above my head
Frozen in place like the sun at mid day
Pits of black splattered on the wall
Mangled with red streaks from fits of rage within me
My color scheme dark and lost
A mixture of colors you don't want to see
Unappealing
Dull and vague
Until I met you
Bright colors peaking through the blinds of my window
Were discovered by you
You change my color scheme
Pulled the blues and greens right out of me
You reeled them in like a fish caught on a hook
Like a earthquake
You shook the oranges and yellows loose from there nooks
My mood bright red and orange like the sunset
Colors pour out of me like the sun kissing the grass with it Rays
Blues cools my core temperature
Muting the rage for days
Until the sun sets
Letting the black creep in
muffling your colors
Painting over your color scheme

The beginning is sweet like cake
They're all you want to see
Kisses melt on each other like chocolate
Left in your pocket
Hugs a simulation of baked cookies
But this honeymoon stage just a phase
And after its reach its last days
You dug yourself in a grave
Because of the Expectations and misconceptions of how it would be
But it's just an illusion  
You weren't expecting days to be grey right away
What use to be cute
You don't want to see
Wanted them always by your side
Now you can't stand there company
Butterflies in your stomach
Has moved on for the season
Who knows the reason
That this honeymoon stage gives way

You said you loved me
But you let me go
Didn't stop me as I stormed out
And slammed the front door
I waited outside
Patiently
Hoping to see my baby chasing me
But you never showed
And it killed me
Broke my heart
As I sat outside
Not knowing what to do
Should I yell or cry
Neither
Go for a Sunday night drive
You said you loved me
But you let me slip from your grip
And crack a smile
As you let me go

Lessoned learned the hard way
Like waving my hand above a candle flame
Sneaking a touch
Even after moms protest
But what child listens
My curiosity has always been strong
Just take scars from past burns as evidence
Be carful son
She taught caution with everything
Everything except the heart
I wish she explained how to navigate these feelings
No advice about girls and which ones you shouldn’t pick from
Trial and error is seems like
But I’ve had more error then success
Learning that what you give doesn’t always equal out to what you get
Subtle lessons about love I wish came quick
But just like the flame
I didn’t know it would leave scars like this
But like a moth…

Not here to be like or adored
If you don't like what I write
I don't mind being ignored
There's a reason I have a blank profile picture
In my words you will find me
All my ****** features
Between each line
Each string of my bushy hair is defined
The darkness of my eyes
While your reading
You meet my glare
My poems are a like portrait
And inside the painting is me
A depiction
An inscription
On the pages
And as you climb down the ladder of sentences you'll step on my nose
Only to reach the curve of my lips
While I recite out loud
Finally my chin
Where hair hangs like clothes
What I look like doesn't define me
If you trying to find me
You already have

We've long stopped fighting with our words
Now we use fist
Here take this...
An uppercut to your ribs
I can feel your bones shattering against my bare knuckles
It hurts doesn't it
That's how it feels when you tell fibs
And lies
But you won't quit
In mid speech
You jab me in the bridge of my nose
Right between the eyes
We go blow for blow
To stubborn to stop
And your swings don't slow
I don't want to hurt you
But you never hold back
Yelling and screaming
Sinking you nails into my back
But I always retaliate
Slamming my forearm into your gut
You drop to you knees
Struggling to breath
Now you know how it feels
To struggle with trust

You don't like me because I'm not from your race
And my race doesn't like you because the different skin color on your face
It doesn't matter where you go in this world
Pick a place
Your always going to find someone different from you
Why do we have to hate someone who shares the same planet as you

I ran to the moon
I heard she was good at giving advice
Should I love her with all my might ?
To my surprise
She replied
Why are you asking me
I am but a lonely rock
Trap in a slow dance
And the only time I’m noticed is at night
I do not know what it means to love
I can only imagine what’s it like
All I can say
Love someone who will cherish you even in the dark
Why don’t you go ask the sun

So to the sun I went
Should I love her with everything I have?
But the sun ego was just to bright
He strutted his rays
Polluting the air waves
I demand he answer me
And with a smug look on his face
He said
Love someone who isn’t afraid to get burned by your pain
Why don’t you go ask the ocean

So I traveled to the sea
Stood at the foot of his crashing waves
Should I love her even if she’s far away
There’s no distance to great
He said calmly as the summers breeze
If she’s not willing to fight through my tides
Hide your heart
Because it only means she doesn’t have to patience to nurture it
If it should ever fall apart
Love someone who’s willing
To become stranded with you
So you both can be saved

Are you really unhappy
Is that what you really feel
Or is it something you made up
Believed in it so much you've made it real
Tell me you deep dark secrets
I promise they won't be revealed
Why are you always so angry
Is it because your dad isn't here
Do you feel abandoned
What's going on in the inside
Why can't you let anyone in
It's terrible to hold everything in
Your only hurting yourself
You keep everything bottled up
Eventually your going to bust
I can hear you screaming on the inside
You just want someone to trust
But your never going to be happy
Unless you learn how to open up