Don't get to close
My breath reeks of death
And if you look closely
You can see the flesh eating maggots
Crawling behind my eyes  
Along with the beetles
Slithering beneath my skin  
Inside my muscles decay
And my organs have rotted away
I'm just a walking corpse
Without a grave
Because inside
Ive already died

In her eyes this is never going to end
She's confident this will last forever
And we will always be together
But if she was smart
She would look in the mirror
And recite to her reflection
That it's just a beautiful lie

You won't find a tag hanging from my body
And inscribe on it the word black
No in fact i am not black
I am me

You don't like me because I'm not from your race
And my race doesn't like you because the different skin color on your face
It doesn't matter where you go in this world
Pick a place
Your always going to find someone different from you
Why do we have to hate someone who shares the same planet as you

Sorry for the brown napkins, tissues and plastic bottles I sometimes throw on you

Unveiled from her weaved basket
Cookies, candy and ice cream cake
Sandwiches, chips and lemonade
All this so my opinion of this failing relationship can be swayed
So far her attempts of saving this affair have all been a bust
But this time it will be a win
It's must
But before this starts off good
There's a gust of wind ripping the sheet from her hands
Dragging it off in the distance
And kicking up stinging dust
Tainting the food
And before it settles the sun is eclipse by darkened clouds
There's a drip on my hand
Her last attempt to save us
Failed again
As it starts to rain

How close to this line can I get
One more stop and that's it
So close to hating you
I can taste it when I sweat
The thought of leaving you Is so tempting
I lust for it
Like a pervert
Imagining breast
But what's holding me back
My feelings for you are at rest
My heart doesn't beat for you in my chest
How far from this line can i get
It's to late I've already stepped over

My circle of trust is so small, even I'm not in it

Your were my first
And I fell so fast
Like a car crash
I wasn't ready for the impact
Unable to brace myself  
It felt like I smashed into the dashboard
Still in shock
That this actually happened to me
I couldn't keep It all intact
And I acted so recklessly
But knew you too loved me
And if you'd ask me
I'd tell you I had no regrets
But one
I wished I didn't act so carefree
But I never had anyone care
As much as you did for me
Sometimes I wonder
Why did I even let myself fall in the first place
Because I just landed on my face

The heavens unleashed a storm
Lights bathed the night sky and seeped through my window
And with a boom
I could feel everything around me die

This morning is the worst
I woke up to a mind that doesn't seem to work
As I glance in the mirror
I've age twenty years
The black in my hair and beard
Have disappeared
My ears that were once youthful and healthy
Sag like a purse hanging from a woman's shoulder
And now it feels like I have no teeth
There floats a pair
In a glass full of some sort of solution
Smiling at me
This is to much for an old man
Last night I went to bed with tight skin
Only to awake this morning
With it hanging from every end
Yesterday I was twenty five
Today the wrinkles in my face
Suggest I'm pushing fifty five
Where did the years go
I play my head like drums
Trying to force the confusion out of me
How did I become such and old man
Without there being any memories to remind me

My minds to cloudy for me to see what I think the future may hold for me

I'll stand out in the open
An let you fire off some rounds
You see my exterior is to thick
For your arrows whizzing around
Try as hard as you might
My skin won't be pierced
Shoot as many as you will
I've adapted an immunity to your skill
And I won't be force to fall under your love spell

Even the most prettiest girl can be the most ugliest

She's late
And the look on your face
Tells her your state
So you hide in you mind
And a congratulations doesn't take place
Or a that's great
All you can think is
I knew dating her was a mistake
But it's to late
You already know your *******
The only thing now
Is think of what to do
There's no way you can take care of a kid
Your not ready
It's a big commitment that you just can't commit to
Thoughts of leaving her
Shoots through you
But you know that's something you shouldn't do
There's love there that she feels for you
This mistake
She'd take head on
As long as she's with you
A flawed choice
Now you realized
There's no love for her in you
So what to do
There's only two options
Keep it or **** it
A choice she leaves up to you
Undoubtedly hers
But she's blinded by love
So she follows you
But your not God
Only he can take a life
Not you

You didn't listen
You should've left me alone
Instead you picked and poked
Squeezed me till I burst
I can tell it hurt
You jumped when it stung
Stop squeezing when it burned
Tried to choke the life out of me
But all I gave you was ****
But you didn't let up
Kept going until you drew blood
In attempts to free yourself of me
Like I'm some sort of disease
A plague on your skin
Well try as much as you can
This is a fight you can't win
Even if you are the victor of this round
I'll pop up again

I just wanted an escape
And outlet
To relive me of this hate
I'm up late
Thirsting for a taste
Just a sip
But it's never enough
I don't want to feel
But I've fallen in love
With pain
And as I take a hit
My mind starts to drift
And I let the drug racing through my veins carry me

Many have died during the climb
Some gave up
The reward at the top
Simply wasn't worth the time
Some turned away
Knowing this trek wasn't safe

Then there's you

Started this with an excited looked on your face
But I'm one mountain you shouldn't attempt to climb
My snows to thick
One step and you sunk to your knees
Bundle up tight
I got a wicked breeze
Have a fire lit at night
I'm just waiting for the opportunity to give you frost bite
Kiss you with hypothermia
And when you think you'll all safe and clear
Look out for the blizzard
That will whip you off your camp sight
Hopefully you survive
I have one little thing as a last surprise
A rumble you won't forget
I'd even let you see it peaking over the horizon
Trees, rocks and other debris
Let's see if you keep you faith
After the Avalanche awakes

I can take that feeling away
Of you wishing you were never born
I can give you purpose
You know you don't have one
I can give you peace
Excitement
A reason to want to live
Do you want a glamorous life
Do you want power, money and fame
I can take away the shame
That disappointment shackled to your back
I can erase the pain
The heart aches
The embarrassment of others doing better in life then you
I got what you want
You have something I need
But I can't give you all this for free
First there's something you got to give to me
You won't even know it's gone
Like it wasn't ever there
Just sign here
Grant me permission to take something from you
What's a lifetime of happiness
Vs a little soul

Stay in the ravine
Where it's safe and calm

The more you get to the top
The closer you get to the brewing storm

I warn you
Trying to flag you down

It's not safe up here yet
But your willing
Because at the top is me

You'd trek through the soaking rain

Fight through the deafening wind

Hike through the blistering cold

Do whatever it takes
Because my heart is what's at stake

But be careful
Up this high is slick

If you get to close
You just might slip

I'm sorry to say
Me an love have parted ways
It now lays dead in the street
Still sizzling from the cars heat
It tried to stop me from leaving
But I stepped on the acceleration
And all I could hear
Were the gears snapping, bending and breaking
I just sped on by
Not looking in the rear view mirror

An explosion of cherry
Erupted when we kissed
As we embraced each other
My heart raced
And it was just you an me
In this place
In this world
In this universe
But now it lost its taste

Her feelings are sore
Like they've been lifting weights
Because I won't open up more

Well all I have to say is
I was raised to be this way
unintentionally

By a dad who wasn't around to know
And mom was to busy fighting drinking "joe"

I've been here before
Stood in front of this door
The suns out
It's open but inside pitch black
I remembered what happen if I venture inside  
I died
So why am I going inside

She was so excited
It's been awhile since she's been on this kind of ride
Wishing it would last forever
Nervous like she's never done this before
Her palms are sweaty
Insides feel like they've been tied in a knot
All she can do it think of the terrifying drop
She's next
Closes her eyes to gain composer
When she opens them
It's already over
And she's laying on the ground
Still screaming thinking she's ∩dsᴉpǝ poʍu

gnorw ti ta gnikool ruoy esuaceb s'ti esnes ekam t'nod sgniht nehw semitemoS

I'd date the rainbow
And fall in love with the violets the blues and the Reds
Have a date night with the pinks, yellow and greens
Cuddle purple
Hold hands with orange
I'd date the rainbow
What colors on the outside doesn't matter to me

Winter
She buried my heart in the snow so no else could ever love me
And when she came back to retrieve me
I was so cold
That even her I couldn't love

Rose garden
Once the snow melted
I could tell that winter was over
And all the flowers around me
Sprouted with a boom
But as I laid there frozen in time
In my garden
No roses bloomed

Hell & Heaven
Because the soil was rotten
From my decaying soul
I laid there motionless
In an unmarked grave
My demons led me here
Into her arms on a winters day
But I was to far gone in my wicked ways
As the stalks dripped with tears
Softening the ground
I was swallowed
Hoping I could be saved I prayed

Heaven & Hell
Never seemed to notice miracles
But this one gleamed
I could hear the light penetrate the darkness
My demons screamed
And I could feel myself being yanked from the dirt
Back to earth
Post bail from my maggot infested cell
Set free
Only to the sight of you
Standing over me
Smothering the neck of a shovel, suffocating it
Like the suffocating grip she has on me
And as she started to dig a whole In the snow
I knew she would never let anyone else love me

I have a burning sensation to tear you apart
Tongue kiss you with acid dip lips
And watch you lips bubble and dissolve
You don't know how much I hate you
You say you need me
But I just want to break you
Shake you back an forth
Until you're dislocated from your bones
Trusting you was a mistake
Now I will put all my faith in my hate
I want to see your heart break
As you read the look on my face
I hope you know it's to late
And as I walk away
Look into my eyes
I hope you can see the hate

You are only my dad by blood not by association

Hello again it's me
You've cast me from your thoughts
In the hopes you could forget
But you can never get ride of me
I'm the thing that keeps you strong
Knocking on the back of your mind
When you thought of letting someone in
Wasn't it I who told you that was wrong
You don't need anyone else
Just me
You're the king in this solitary kingdom
Forever you will reign
And I your lone advisor
The whisper in your ear
I'm that chill
That trickles down your spin
I'm that one passenger
That sits in the back of your bus
Riding shotgun
There's no one that could stop us
It's just you and me
There's nothing wrong with be friends with lonely

MTry as I might
I can't fight the temptation
Fueled by rage
I can feel the transformation
The bloodlust to strong to control
And I can feel the beast from within taking hold
Subdued by wrath
I can tell the metamorphosis is taking place
The joints in my jaw start to separate
Making room for the bone crushing  canines to escape
My whole body takes a new shape
Pulsating
My eyes turn a fiery red  
Vision enhanced making it easier to see you
Ears morphed
Now I can hear you from miles away
Nose more sensitive then ever
I can smell you as my prey
Thick furry hairs tear through my skin, consuming my arms
My once human nails
Shed like scales
Leaving a ****** trail
Replaced with claws sharp like fangs
To separate body from its true frame
The sound of my muscle fibers snapping whips through the air
Under this full moon
I become something different
And let the anger overrun me

I'm not the type to hold a grudge
But you've given me a reason
And the way I once felt is fading
Happy feelings diminished
And rapidly replenished with hate  
You've given me a reason
To believe everything you've ever said was fake
Almost trusting you
Turned out to be a mistake  
You've given me a reason
To not want to see your face  
When you walk in my direction
I just want to turn away
You've given me a reason to not want to stay

This voyage we were on wasn't meant to last
Before the ship set sail
I could already see the crash
My body went numb as I impaled the water with a splash
Sinking into the belly of the sea
My lungs swelled as I inhaled water in the search of air
My skin screamed from the piercing cold
I could feel the blood cruising through my veins start to slow
As my body tried to adapt to the blistering cold
But hypothermia had already taken its hold
And as you floated next to me
You thought we could overcome this wreckage
But you were the only one holding on to the debris
While I sank slowly beneath the waves
I wouldn't reach out even if you threw me a life raft  
I could tell we were lost out at sea
Blown of path from the draft caused by wrath
This ship was never meant to survive the sail
Even before the iceberg was unveiled

It hurts
But I'm not in pain

To risk trust and know you'll be betrayed is insanity
But it's a risk I was willing to take
That makes me insane

It hurts
But I'm not In pain

These trust issues eat me alive
So much
That there's a hole dug so deep inside my heart
I could crawl in and hide
And if it got cold
I could pull in the sky

It hurts
But I'm not in pain

Anger
A stain that can't be washed away
Seeped into my skin  
And built up like callus  

It all hurts
But I'm use to the pain

I don't want to talk to you
Just please go away
Leave me alone
I have nothing else to say
As I typed
I'm done were threw
I no longer want to be with you
But somehow on the screen it says
No please stay
Your all I have
And all I need
But in my heart I feel
We're done
I'm drained an have nothing more
Like the blood has been ****** out of me
And as I type these words
Somehow they change

You can't comfort me like her
I dash into her grasp when she's near
In her presence I feel most safe
I can detect her love radiating from off the pages
I whisper what plagues me in her ear
Behind your back I confess my love to her boldly
When I'm with you I'm wishing she could hold me
When I'm broken
Shes the mechanic that fixes me
My tears full of ink
Morphed into written words
I disclose my pain to her
In each line
Addicted to her like a fein
When I say goodnight to you
I lay with her and dream

I'm not the type of guy who cares
If you come to me with complaints of guys wondering eyes
You'll just get a blank stare
From two dead eyes
That pierce you
And behind them
You can't see
The trapped anger
Banging from behind my retinas
Wanting desperately to be set free
Desensitized
Not much of a friendly guy
Friends I once had
Never last
I hate people
Like a white racists
Talking about how much he adores the black race
Desensitized from the comforting I've never had
But I'm glad
Who wants to feel
When people aim at your emotions
With the intent to ****
Mine are being kept in a styrofoam box
With a three gage lock
And there they will rot

If I was a boat
You were the wind that engulfed my sails
Carrying me
As I glided over the open sea
So freely
I took you for granted an let go of the wheel
An as we reached uncharted waters you dwindled
Could no longer handle my careless ways
You were sensitive to pain
And gave into reality
But you were my gravity
That held me to the earths ground
But now I see it was me
So from a bow
I'll set an aflame arrow free
Watch it impale the sail
Caressed by the wind the flames grew
I let you go with the pieces of linen swept up in the wind
Thoughts of you drip from my mind
And get caught in my throat
A taste I once loved
I can't stand no more
You were the balance that help me walk along the tight rope
But it's time to let you go
So I'll let you flow out of me
Like *****  
And it hurts when I gag
There's so much that's there
Not enough time to breath
But if this is the only way to set you free
Then I'll let you go

I'll let go of my selfish desires  
the memories
The moments
The times were all I could do is stare at you
The times where I was at a lost for words
The times you filled my heart
When you where the colors to my world
I'll let it all go
And allow the gray skies to take over
Allow your days to fill with an overflowing sunrise
While I drown in my liquor of tears  
As the hurricane of misery passes me
I'll allow the screaming pain to take over and enrapture me
In my ever flowing blood stream
I watch my foolish words and my vexatious ways enthrall me with torment
As I was yours
I forfeit these desires and cut the ties
This my goodbye
My adieu
To you my beloved
It's time to let you go

Hate fluctuates in the air when I breath
Can you relate
When I tell you it constricts me like a snake
The angel sitting on my shoulder has been removed
His rival has crawled in my mouth
And sits in my tongue groves  
It's hard to control what I say until it's to late
My words crippling like a deceptive *****
I've lost all concept of who I am
Can you relate when I say
The reflection in the mirror has gone away
Trust use to ride shotgun with me
But I bailed from the car
When I let it grab the wheel
We would veer off an wreck
It drove me to think people could be trusted
But their words were like plastic toys
Fake
And they melted in the heat
Believing in others a mistake
It's hard to think anyone else can relate

Who am I
I thought I knew
But now I don't have a clue
I seem to have lost myself
Like a book missing from its shelf
Not to be read
But removed
A book that shouldn't have been written
Before I thought I was a kind person
I must have been kidding
Yes I was designed to solve others pain
But now I've become accustomed to using what you tell me against you
Sharing your deepest feeling and fears will just be in vain
Wanted to be a problem solver
But I just create more
I wanted to be the one everyone trust
Conquer anger
But couldn't defeat my own
Once thought I was a confidence booster
It became my job like a career
But I knew ******* with words
So suddenly And in a flash
Like a car you didn't see coming from your rear
Thought I was the person who was suppose to feel
But inside I'm cold
Who am I

It's that time of the month
That makes your emotions run amuck
They seem to be like a stick shift in a truck
Never staying in one gear
Your mood is like spoiled food
As you explain how much your in pain
Lying in anguish
As each ache corse through your veins
Blame eve
For the invisible sledge hammer being lodged into your back
Crippling cramps riddle your body
Violent pain
Like your abdomens are being flirted with
Tiny incisions foreplay
Caressed by shards of glass  
Temptations of sleep a figment of the past
Blame eve
For the hormones that sprout like weeds
Appetite expand and recedes
Like the moonlight tides
The pain come in strides
Punches in its time card
Each month
And you can blame eve

I want to sink my teeth in you
Drain you till there's nothing left
Until your veins suffocate
Caress you with my finger nails
As they spilt your skin
Through your silk dress
Rip your heart through your breast
An watch it quit beating in my hands
Oops that's to gruesome
I want to bound you upside down
By your ankles
Slit your throat
And watch you choke
On your blood
And slowly rip you apart
Wait that's still to dark
I want to slather you
In red goo
From a tube
And lick it all up
Because I like the taste of ketchup
Wait, what ?

It pumps just like yours
But Insides an empty shell
Deserted by its workers
Who complained the job didn't pay well
The environment gloomy
With no windows to keep it well lit  
And no vents to keep the air circulated
So they gasped and choked
On the oxygen that grew heavy like smoke
The ceilings and walls peeling
Draped in a stale red  
Empty desk where the employees slaved
White papers slathered on the floor
Decorated with knocked over chairs
Hallways once active
Now empty
Filled with the sound of flickering lights breathing
A heart like mine shut down
From the lack productivity
Everyone left in a panic rush
Like the stock market crash
I have a heart just like yours
But inside its empty
And the doors still remain chained shut

Not here to be like or adored
If you don't like what I write
I don't mind being ignored
There's a reason I have a blank profile picture
In my words you will find me
All my ****** features
Between each line
Each string of my bushy hair is defined
The darkness of my eyes
While your reading
You meet my glare
My poems are a like portrait
And inside the painting is me
A depiction
An inscription
On the pages
And as you climb down the ladder of sentences you'll step on my nose
Only to reach the curve of my lips
While I recite out loud
Finally my chin
Where hair hangs like clothes
What I look like doesn't define me
If you trying to find me
You already have

Sometimes I feel like a motherless child
Born in the wild
Raised around apes
As they congregate behind the leaves amongst the trees
Sometimes I feel like I don't belong
But there's no way to escape
I'm just another ball
Tethered to this world to be played with
Sometimes I feel like a motherless child
Who's been lost for awhile
No home to be far from
Traveled a road paved with un proportional tiles
Conceived from of the cracks I slipped through
No concept of the word love
Baptized In the faith of hate
Loneliness a stain on my jeans
Bitterness pokes me when I'm awake
motherless child
Who wasn't pulled out the womb
Unearthed from a tomb

A plague on humanity
In love caused insanity
A bad guy in the making
Kicking dirt In your eyes
A spawn of the hulk
Didn't gain his strength
As a trait I got his hate
Opened the gates
Let out his rage
Anything I touched disintegrates  
The bad guy
Sick of the happy feelings
Always branded as the bad guy
So I'll embrace the villain
No longer happy thoughts
Get close
I'll sink my teeth in your blood stream Injecting you with venom
Hope an love was a drug
But it's affects has worn off
Now my heart is cold
And what runs through these veins
Will bring down any Hero's name

I don't need to be held
Or hug
Kissed or touched
Comforting is something to much
Trusting in people makes me sick
My face turns blue
Like the blood is being ****** out of me from a tick
Tried before
Highly disappointed
Only loved once
Epic fail
No longer will I wallow and wail
Feeling sorry that I messed it up
I've accept my demons
More like embraced them freely
Comforting is just something I don't need really
To long on my own
I've embraced solitude
And lived in seclusion
Made her my wife
And had a few children
Cold on the inside
Drink loneliness from a well
And all the coins in the world
Will not wish this well

I want to drown myself in a pool of liquor
Sip on the corrosive liquid
Let it slither down my throat
Saver the feeling
As I goes down smoothly
Stinging like battery acid
Hot like melted plastic
More then ever, do I wished I drink
Wish I could befriend intoxication
As we walk stumbling
Hand in hand
Drink myself into an alzheimer's session
To forget these lessons
Until I lose all sense of myself
Once direction becomes a foreign language
Or I lose the ability to speak
And my name is no longer recognizable to me
More then ever, do I wished I drink

This will be the death of me
Like an empty bottle of prescription pills
Sitting on the sink
Honesty
Has me on the brink
Sore throat
Drowning myself without something to drink
All because of the truth
But now I see
All you wanted was fragments
Like a chipped tooth
To me honesty heals
Like chicken noodle soup
But to you
It hurts
Guess you rather me tell you the sky isn't blue
Honesty kills
In the first degree
Heart rate dissipate  
Your lips glow blue
And ***** oozes out of you
Your skin temperature becomes bipolar
Hot then cold
You can feel the life leaving you
Honesty kills
Like an overdose on pills