What I felt for you is gone
Naked an bare
I no longer care
I loved you
But no
Your love is polluting my air
It's hard to breath
With these thoughts of you
So much within me
It grows from the roots of my hair
But I no longer care
I'm done chasing
Now I'm just casing what I felt in a bottle  
Hosting it out to sea
And stare as the lapping waves
Gravitate it away from me
And if some how some way it ever makes its way back
I won't be here
Because I don't care

At the crossroads
I made a deal with her
That If she saved me
I would give my life to her daily
She would become my prescription pills
As the deal was sealed
Taming my pain
As others were slain
In the sacrifice of her name
Poetic justice she exclaimed
She was beauty
A living symphony  
And I plague with devotion
To show I'm faithful and capable
I don't stop until my fingers bleed
She doesn't need anyone else but me
Writing scriptures
Until she had her fill
A slave to the pages
To satisfy her nonexistent cravings
I'd scribe to her till my dying days
Without her I'd go insane
She's all I have left
Poetry

Does thoughts of me rise like the morning sun
Does it set your heart on fire
Bright ember red as thoughts of me fill your head
Do you fall in a deep love all over again like someone cast a spell
Does your mind swell like a well Impaled
From the heavens letting go what they withheld
Or does hate perched on your frontal lobe come from behind its veil  
Does thoughts of me crush your soul
Do you become bitter and cold like steal pole in the winter snow
Have you put up safety nets
And when I'm brought up
Do you cast them back out to see
What do you feel when you think of me

Frog legs and boiled eggs
Hair from an ogre
A bone from a rats shoulder
Rabbits feet and a 1000 year old dragons teeth
I can smell the odor of what's brewing on the stove
Oozing from the crock ***
A potent potion
Made to bewitched with one sip
A touch of it on your lips
And you slip under its spell
Thoughts of your own expelled
As you fall deeper
From the concoction
Your world turned upside down
As your bound from this liquid drug
That gave you the case of the love bug  
Once you consumed the cursed beverage
You found love but not In the right way
And from the drink I took a sip
That you slipped infront of me

The memory is realer then you and me
And I know we hate to think about it
But I still remember
How we loved each other so freely
I still remember how carelessly with let ourselves go
You were mine and I was yours
If you were wounded and hurt
If it made you heal faster I'd lick your sores
I still remember how you would give anything to be with me
I can't forget
These memories are realer then you and me
And if thinking about it causes you pain
Just know I'm on that same train
I still remember the first time I said I loved you
I still remember that time i thought I'd lost you
Back then when things were simple and we were friends
But things change
I still remember on the phone I ask you to marry me
To my grave I'd take my love
To my grave I'll except your hate  
But if it's not to late
I hope you remember
I still love you

You can throw in the towel
Wave the white flag in your hand
Surrendering is your plan
Giving up cause you can
Buried the thought of us in the sand
When you finally walk away
I'll still be here standing
Fighting for you
Or is it out of pride that I can't have you
But I'm not through
Whenever you run out of breath I'll be the oxygen
The power when your lights go out
Even if you hate me
My love won't escape me
When your long gone
Still it will burn bright
Illuminating the night
I promised I'd fight
So I'm not through

It's hard to believe that she cares for me
The static in my head crackles loud
Her notions that she can be trusted gets muffled
I'm just a closed bottle
With this static noise inside louder then a throttle
Blasting like a jet engine
Whiles she's trying to get in
Everything she does is just diverted by the wind
That's howling
Twirling like a world wind
Blowing her away
Keeping the way she feels at bay
There's to much interference inside me
With all this static there's no way she can reach me

What lies in the dark
Is it remarkable like hidden treasure
Or will the discovered by devastating
Like famine spread upon a land
This mystery is like poetry played out with a mimes hand
What makes the dark so creepy
Is it scary how many secrets it can hold
Or how quickly it can consume
Take you whole
It's alive
And has a beating heart
There's only madness and suffering being pumped through its veins
But it's comforting
When the lights go out
No one can see what your hiding

When the earth is at a perfect stand still
I can feel the tilted axis
Gravity hugs me before the sunlight kisses me
I can feel it weighing me to the ground
When it's so quiet
The presence of no sound is the only sound
I can feel the earths core beating beneath my feet
Pushing and pull
As I walk along the fault lines
I'm up before the birds
Out of my whole before the worms
There's a storm in me
But mornings are to peaceful
To wake up angrily
As I wonder through the darkness
The world never seem so bright

We were like woven fabric
That got ripped
Unable to be stitch back together
Split at its ends
To badly destroyed to be fixed
This love is broken
But it feels like it's whole
We flourished in its youth
As time passed it got old
An In its dying days it couldn't be saved

For money and gold
For you
His life was sold
Gave his location
In sin you gave into temptation
Then with a greet of a kiss
From your deceitful lips
He was betrayed
By you
A heart that was lost and filled with greed
But in this transaction you went insane
Infected
Cursed
In your realization
You tried to get reimbursed
But your faith was sealed
For the prophecy had to be fulfilled
And as you stood at the top of the hill
Beneath a tree past its prime
You hung yourself
Until the kicking in your feet went

Your soul is in clothes
Fine Lenin to cover your ligaments
It was your God on Sunday
Prayed to it on Monday
Emotions could be felt in your denim
In the stitches of the fabric pumped life like they were your veins  
Heartbrokenness comforted in your tight boyfriend jeans
In your back pocket sat your heart
Where it couldn't be seen
The expensive products you powered yourself in made you feel like a queen
Inside these clothes you were royalty
It gave you power
Smirked at those who looked in awe
A sin if you didn't look good
You were strong in your religion
Curses those who didn't dress like you
This was your life
An you would sacrifice it all to look this nice

How much do you think about me
Does it come frequent as the wind blows through the tress
Or does it pack up like a dad in the silent of the night an leaves
What will it take for you to be gone
Does doubt creep in the back of your mind
Is your love really true
Or does it crack like cheap Instant glue
Does 21 Questions bother you
How deep is our bond
Lately you an I haven't gotten along fondly
How far would you go
What do you have to prove
Is your trust weak like mine
Or do you know I don't trust you
Does your past hold you in cuffs
Does it affect me an you
I wonder how would you feel if I left
Would you be asthmatic and lose your breath
Or would the first breath you take without me set you free  
What do you feel when you like my way
Does your heart scream for you to stay
Or is it empty like mine

Away from the beach
Couldn't stand the stickiness of the sand
Beneath the waves
Lost between the tides
When the ocean waves rise
A step out to sea
Hoping to walk upon the water
Trying to break the borders of this world
But instead of gliding
You sinked
Like you had concrete on your feet
And as you looked down
It was your hands pulling you
Helping you drown
As the water filled your lungs
You finally felt full
The weight of emptiness
Heavier then you predicted
Frustrated cause you wasn't blessed with the gift of being optimistic
So you just sit there
Floating
Sinking deeper in the ocean
Not waiting on a savior
That would mean you've been hoping
Cursed with this feeling that you have to do everything alone
And the lack of cure for this curse
Has made this curse strong
It Imbedded itself in your bones
Suspended in animation
Carried by the ocean

Day and night
It was your drug
You consumed it
Addicted to the feeling it gave you
this high
Couldn't reach this peak even if you lived in the sky
But suddenly and abruptly it was detached away
Now you feel the side effects
And your body aches
Your appetite for food gone
Sweats in the midnight hour keeps you awake
Like a fein
You sit in the corner shivering and shakes
Depression has become the breath you take
You stop looking in the mirror
Your reflection says you were the mistake
Carelessly you got hooked on love
It gave you life
Now you know it can kills
The side effects from love just makes you feel ill

Anger in me rages like flames
Compressed inside a cage within me
But it pulsates like a heartbeat
To much for the steal to take
The cage melts back then break
What's the purpose for this rage
It just causes pain
An scorches everything inside me
Insides like a desolate plain
And what's strange
There's nothing strong enough to extinguish this flame
This plague
Afraid you'll get burned
So I warn you away
There's danger if you step behind the caution lines
So beware
Of this rages that roars in the flames

Only when I slumber I find peace
A way to escape this world when I sleep
My soul at ease
Finally
As I lay there meditated
And my heart beats in serenity
And while I dream the stars phase through the clouds
Comforting the ground
But when I shift
The stars spark and turn into flames
Then nightmare creeps around
Like a ghoul
Breath from its nose flashes like lightening
Devastation In my hibernation awake  
Like a grumbling grizzly
When I sleep
But only in its hibernation is a grizzly at peace

When this ends
It won't be so hard to let go
All roads eventually leads to a dead end
I'll face it with a smile
How shocked it would be
It would think
No one has ever seen my a graced me with a smile
But knowing this is the end comforts me
Like diving into a warm blanket
After playing in the snow
I welcome the finish of this story with open arms
And let it engulf me like a putrid smell
In this farewell
No heart will be broken
It's as empty as a ***** shell
That was swept out to sea in high tide
And drifts towards the horizon
As the sunset
The end

Born in hate
Plagued by it if you had darken skin
It was the shackles around there feet
When they were forced to walk down dirt roads
It was the word at the end of whips
As is carved through the skin
Laughed as blood dripped
Mixing with the mud
And splashing on the leaves
When they misbehaved
It was the noose tying word as they hung from trees
Made to keep them from being free
An to keep them stained with fear
Made to punish
As they were sprayed
Whispered in the ear of canines
As they were sicked on them
Created to ******* as they were beaten
Back then the word was made to abuse
Theses days it's stamped as just a word
But it's more then that

To much of a wild card to be in a pack
I wonder through the woods
While the other wolves wants to attack
I bay at the moon during the day
While the others wait for the sun to go away
If you look at my paw prints you'd see a difference
My fur coat darker then most
A solo hunter
Can't be detected when I prowl
When threatened
You can hear the viciousness in my growl
Blood swarming in the air
From a mutt challenging the alpha
They don't see him fit to rule
Killing each other over a bone
So they fight hoping he can be dethroned
Stronger on my own
A lone wolf
Walking the dirt paths I choose
Not following behind someones own

Fits of rage goes off inside my head
I can't tame me
There's an empty cage open
But I can't find a clue what's been set free
Hidden away inside me
Every once in awhile it goes on a spree
Crippling the good part of me
So I've been corrupted from the core
From this unknown disease
Spawned inside  
Pumping through my veins
Any good intentions by another is in vane
They can't be trusted in my brain
I'm my own worst enemy
The inner me
Jealous what it sees on the outside from within
Wants me only for itself
So it fends off anyone else
Because it wants my by myself

This is what I want to go out to
With a pen
In my palm
As I choreograph each line
For the last time
Hoping what I write fills you of me
One last poem one final time
Powerful enough you can hear the rhyme
As the words project from the screen
So you can visualize what I mean
And as I take my last breath
I'll leave it unfinished for the next

My eyes burn
Like smoldering ashes have been thrown on my chest
I now know it's time for me to rest
But thoughts mock me when I try to sleep
They bear down hard
Like a car moving downhill
There's a turtle in its way
Then I awake
And I realize that I mistake
What I thought was reality
Was just a dream
But it frightens me because I don't know what it means
And as I think
It stops me from going to sleep
But I still remain sleepy

I can see the lies in his eyes
He puts on another face
There's things he wants to hide
I can feel the lust beating in his chest
When he tries to put it to rest
It just seeps out in his dreams
The man in the mirror
Trips over temptation like a crack on the ground
He doesn't trust much
So the things he deals with alone
Eats him raw and alive
A broken record playing in his head Saying you can survive
His only way to cope Is to sit and pen this
If feeling was an onion then he peeled it away
Doesn't let anyone in
Being in solitude has made him blind
Sometimes the man in the mirror hates looking at me

Then he
Then he
Who could love you better then me
Break the chains on your heart
And set it free
I can see it in your face
The contemplation  
How much you're afraid
Of trusting me
A second chance is all I need
Then he
Then he
Who can love you better then me
Give me the keys
To the doorways you closed
I can love you better then he
Feelings were blind
But over time your love helped me see
Why is it so hard to grasp the concept of my love
If you don't think I can love you better  then he
I hope you find someone who can love you better then me

I would've told you that love at first sight
Was just a bad joke for me to laugh at
But it was a disease that infected me
Your hello was full of love
And it cornered me
Wrapped my in its grip
Unwilling to let go
Your hello was full of joy
And it filled me with happiness
I only laughed when you were around
Your hello was magical
All I could see in my future was you
But now that your gone
Your hello has become a curse
There's still a remnant of you
You had me at hello
Until you said goodbye

The beginning is sweet like cake
They're all you want to see
Kisses melt on each other like chocolate
Left in your pocket
Hugs a simulation of baked cookies
But this honeymoon stage just a phase
And after its reach its last days
You dug yourself in a grave
Because of the Expectations and misconceptions of how it would be
But it's just an illusion  
You weren't expecting days to be grey right away
What use to be cute
You don't want to see
Wanted them always by your side
Now you can't stand there company
Butterflies in your stomach
Has moved on for the season
Who knows the reason
That this honeymoon stage gives way

So what should I do?
-Forget about her she's to good for you
I can't stop thinking of her
-Thought you hated thinking of the past
I do
-The past is the past she's apart of it to
I know, I hear what your saying but it's something that's hard to do.
-Just move on
It's not that simple.
-I know you love her but she no longer loves you
What about a second chance.
-Shouldn't have ******* up the first
Well ***** you.
-Well you asked for advice so I'm advising you
You not very good at it.
-I'm just telling you what you need to hear
Guess it's what I get for talking to the voice in my head
-Do is both a favor, forget about her she's forgotten about you

Love tossed you out in the cold
Now you can no longer feel your toes
The color has left your finger
They're no longer useful anymore
You use to love winter
It's the season love introduced herself to you
You two played in the snow until your nose was blue
But when the snow storm came through
When the wind was the coldest
And the snow stung your face
That's when she abandoned you
Took the warmth she brought
Without her
Your just an empty shell
For the cold to just seep into
Love has treated you so coldly
But hypothermia with comfort you

Can be amazing
Then drive you crazy
It can be the rope that snapped
That once held you to the Clift
Love can be the one blocking the blows
But the one throwing the fist
It's the life guard that saves you
After it tried to drown you  
When you were lost
It was the one searching for you
And it found you
Forever your in its grip
When it's not around
You'll do anything to feel it again
A cure after its poisoned you
This thing call love
Is the bandage after it hurt you

He's lost in the wilderness
This world taught him not to depend on others
He couldn't trust anyone
So he turned his back on everyone
He couldn't even trust the trees
Thought the leaves would abandon him
Cursed the breeze
Because it whispered through the hollow bark
His trust issues run deep like the underground spring he drank from
An even though it was fresh
He boiled it to get rid of any contaminated mess
Chose the life of solitude
Conclude that trust was just a ruse
To paranoid
Lead him to even mistrust himself

I can't remember you being around for my birthdays
Then again you were absent on my birth day Since the beginning you were a no show
If you wanted to be a dad that's never seen
You did it so well
If you wanted to be around
I couldn't tell
There's no wish in a well
That's could wish this well
You can't fix a broken relationship that was never there
There's no love for you that can be found
Shot dead
Then hung underground just to be sure
What I feel for you
There is no cure
Your empty promises held a lot of weight
But only a child holds on to hate
Hope you don't think your a good father
Even if you tried its to late
You were a dad but in the worst way

Lips black from her excessive intake
Fingers stained yellow
From her everyday routine
She inhales chemical warfare
Exhales a toxic stream
Addicted to the nicotine
Even if her choice isn't on the shelf
Anything will do to satisfy the fein
Smoking like today's her last
In two's and three's
Her lack of knowledge makes her thinks she immune
Doesn't believe it's a disease
It already ate the color in her face
Shriveled her lungs with ease
She doesn't notice it's hard for her to breath
Creeped in the crevices of her teeth
Darkened them
Now there bleak and weak
Says she's quitting
So she buys a stock to last her weeks  
Giving up is a struggle
She's just a hopeless smoker

He liked to pretend he was a doctor
And she was his sick patient
Touched and inspected her
Forced her to be still and quiet
She didn't move
Fear kept her paralyzed
Once she said no
But he choked her and almost didn't let go
Trapped in a world where her dad touched her
But he said it was because he love her
If this was love she didn't want it
But to weak to confront it
To scared to defend it
Instead stuck in a world of unwanted love

Roll your window up
When you see me near
If I approached
You wouldn't even meet my stare
But glance at the words on my sign
Thoughts about me already declared
I'm someone you don't want here
The **** of this earth
While you inside all warm
I'm fighting to stay dry
You don't know me
But hate the way I'm living
You think of me just a homeless man
Living my life off begging
You don't know what I've been through
How would you feel if you saw me as your reflection
Sleeping under freeways
While you throw unwanted food away
My clothes ripped and torn
While the things in your closet probably never been worn
A homeless man
But I'm just disgusting to you
I'm sorry but put yourself in my shoes I'm more then just a begging man
This is not the way I chose to live

I hate that I love you
But love that I hate you
I remember how we used to be
Back then I loved you so freely
It came naturally like breathing
Sometimes painful like a babies teething
In Distress without you like a quitting smoker
But lately hate has been formed
Planted like a seed
Grew quickly like weeds
And if you digest it
Poisonous like stinging bees
Who knows how far my love for you go
But now the hate just simmers like heated coals

I loved before
She was my surfboard
Our love created the waves
But as the water subside
So did our fire that could engulf any flame
Snuffed out by rough hands
Choked until it suffocated
Stuck in low tide  
Now what I felt has gone and hide
Could it ever be found
To afraid to be betrayed
To caution to put up my heart for auction again
No bidder can ever win
My heart behind a stripped locked
Cause by the wrong keys
But I ask
Could I ever fall again

I do this to forget
If these shots are wind
Then I'm chasing after air
Touching the glass
Rubbing the outer rim
Kissing it like I'm having an affair
Aware of the consequences
But if this is the only way to ease the pain
Then the burden I will bare
Shots in till I can't comprehend
This thing called love drove me here
Sat me in the car
Started the engine
Poured me a glass
And sat and stared
She refilled the glass when it was full of air
3 shots in and I still cant cope
The liquid burns my throat
Feel like I'm being choke
It's hard to breath
She hands me another drink
But it feels like shes the one who tied a noose to this rope
It's her who I want to forget  
Now I'm six shots in

What do you do when there's not a person made for you
Do you keep looking
But everything you pursue
Falls apart at the end like you used cheap glue
Cutting yourself trying to put the pieces back together
Over time finally you give up and meet someone new
To you this is just another experiment
You know it's going to fail
But you try like hell
In the beginning you mean well
In the depths of your mind
You know its just a matter of time
Before this ticking time bomb goes off an explode
And erode everything you to strove for
No matter what you want a person made for you in this world
But there not out there

Hopefully his forgiveness can outweigh these sins
Use to walk the path of light
But now somehow I slipped into the dark
I've been parked there
Like a car that won't start
Hopefully we can go to heaven
Cause these eyes fall on wicked things
Wondering if I like what I see
Hoping his grace can spare thee
Hopefully we can go to heaven
I want to be what's past the clouds
And I'm saved
This earth is hell and wants to **** me
I pray
That I don't fall into its shackles like a slave
Hopefully we can go to heaven

Where is the real me
I'm not who I use to be
When did I become so cold
I know longer feel things
They've become stiff like a corps
Not yet rotten from being underground
Coffin nailed shut
Paralyzed
Numb to the vision of her love
Buried to deep for it to reach me
When did I become so far gone
To selfish to feel things
Why can't I care for someone else
To afraid to let someone in
Maybe this is the real me
Lost inside
On the trek to recover these emotions
Until then I can't live
Because I died

Let's make this a home run
Hit it out the ball park
Hope we don't strike out
Foul ***** sent to the parking lot
Cars dented , windows shattered
The frustration in my swings
Has me angrily trying to hit everything
Hoping to when this game of love
So many times have I struck out
Walked with my head down to the dug out
Ashamed
Cause with you on my side I thought this was a winnable game  
But I could never get past third base
Home runs stolen from me
What a waste
So much effort in my swing
This game has taken so much of me
Trying to hit it out the ballpark
Will take all of me
But I don't want to lose myself for the sake of the game

Un appealing to see
Like coughed up gunk
Trapped in a smokers lung
Hidden behind a scab
But it was pick away
Now this rage runs loose
Like spilt juice on a marble floor
Failed attempts clean it up
To much of it to soak up
When you come across this spill it's deadly
No caution signs to warn you
I attack like a frighten cat back into a corner
This rage sharp like blades
Words like lemon juice on a open womb  
A switch turn on that got jammed
Only when the circuits fries out
It when this rage dies down
But even then I'm still angry

He doesn't quit
Until his knuckles are numb
Or his arms become to heavy to lift
Bruised and swollen
He stands over her, panting  
Like a predator
After a long chase of its prey
His fist are Bone breakers
And he keeps her in place with these
To afraid she doesn't leave
He hit so she will behave
Harder just in case she becomes to brave
When he's drunk his fist cascade down upon her
Until her ribs sing
She ***** up and take blow for blow
Until finally
She's gifted unconsciousness
From the transactions of his fist

People always leaves
There friendship and love weak as the summer breeze
Torn themselves off your woven sleeve
Nothing is forever
Their only here for a moment
Quick to disappear as a sneeze
Offered to be around for whatever you need
But can't be found
Promises to help you tear away your suffocating past
But when times get tough gone in a flash
Nothing is forever
Helped you build a foundation of new love
But never there to finish the construction
When they leave it's always in distruction
Turns out they were really here for nothing
Nothing is forever

This is getting harder then before
Putting words together
Like cutting hide from a boar
When I was with you
Ink flowed out of my pen
Each stroke undoubtedly written by you
But now writing is getting harder to do
Who knew
Everything I wrote was inspired by you
But now my well runs dry
Everything I start gets casted into a fired
Caught up in the flames
Before it can see the light of day
Trapped behind a wall of shame
I lost the will to write When I lost you
Now the ink in my pen is empty

Why do we write
Maybe to help us fight
To express with words
Maybe to show everyone an insight
To show what we've been through
A way for you to pull through
Is this an outlet for you
Or just harmless fun
Why do we write
Is it to show the world what you stand for
Maybe to express
Trying not to repress the angry,bitterness and sadness within you
This is how we escape
Get away from what's hurting you
Our own never land
Built in our minds
Shown like blue prints through the lines you read
Our own Galaxy we create
Out of pain we make
Through struggle these words were conceived
Why do we write
Who knows just read

She wanted him to want her
She had plans to **** the kindness in his heart with her wickedness
That was her evil deed
Said she would do anything to please
Whatever the request she would meet his needs

His lust of the flesh kept him trapped here
Intertwined in her arms
He's not a drinker
But his head rushed from the beers
Falling for her seduction one of his fear
But heard giving in was sweet from his peers
He was weak anyway
When it came to sin
It soaked in his skin
Became an ink stain within
Hard to remove
*** is what he wanted
But for that he would have to give up his soul

No love would be involved
She assured him
Let's keep this simple
Know one would ever know
That girl your dating wouldn't discover this ***** secret
What we do hidden
Between me and you
Give in like you did with the photos
Baiting him
Worlds silky smooth
Sweet like honey
Convinced him to set his innocence aside
He was angry inside
As much as he didn't want to do it
He finally gave in to her seduction

What was one dreamed
Died before it could live
Plans of this
Gone before it could be birth
Back into the depth of the earth
Buried deep down in me
Thought it would happen in this lifetime
Silly me
Love a shadow I could never see
Cast out
Faded right in front of me
Hidden by a blazing rage
Burnt out
Thought it would be she
But not in this lifetime
Not for me
Once a dream
Long died before it could be seen
Love
Not in this lifetime for me
Maybe in another lifetime
She...
We...
Maybe in another lifetime

He wasn't a gambler
Anything risky with his heart he didn't take
Feelings compromised by false mistakes
All the chips he has
Kept safe
To selfish to place them on the table to play
Past bets almost emptied his bank
Lessons taught him what you lose isn't greater then what you gain
Always rolled snake eyes
Seven or elevens he didn't see
Until one day
He met the one
Promises of love brought out his chips
Now he was back in the game
At the gambling table
Chips in a neat row
But one by one they started to go
Every roll or a play of cards
He start to see she wasn't what he wanted
He lost more then what he wanted to get
Her promises of love
Didn't win him any chips
She was a counterfeit