I should've made you laugh more
Until you fell on the floor
Grabbing your stomach from the giggling pain
But now I might not have that chance
Your gone and all I feel is sore
I should've held your hand
And clutched it tight
Now the only way I see your face
Is when I close my eyes at night
I should've kissed you
Until you couldn't take it
Now your gone
And my heart is breaking
And I can't fake it
Should've told you I loved you sooner
But the fear of saying it out loud
I was to scared
To embarrassed
Selfish and full of pride
I should've hugged you more
And not let go
Should've rubbed your back
I know it was always so sore
I should've done more
When I was your man

How did I get this far up
And so close to the ledge
Acrophobia
Stops me from peaking over the edge
I can feel the cold steel trembling
Moaning and groaning as it sways slightly in the breeze
Breathing beneath my feet
I heard if you're high up enough
Water feels like the ground
So even if I survived this jump
I can't even swim
I know I'll drown
But I have to
I must
Because you said you'll never leave me
But you left in a rush
And I was crushed
You told me you'd always love me
But where are you now
You're nowhere to be found
Not even in the crowd
That's gathered around
All their talking have been muffled and muted
By the sound of the whizzing wind
Filling my ears
I can only hear my heartbeat
And it's telling me to leap
Spread eagle
And pretend I can fly
But the little faith I have stops me
I've been living in hell so long
I stopped thinking heaven is real
I don't believe in nothing
Not even in you
If you were here
I'd tell you to jump too
Even if you happened to show up
You'd be to late
This is the only means of escape

Never fall in love
It's like a drug
And once you tried it
You get hooked
But it does more harm then good
It smacks you across the face
Like a left hook
Kicks you in the gut
And leaves you shook
Often it keeps you up at night
You fight it
And try to embrace sleep
But you lose a lot
And it leaves you battered and bruised

After her

You feel lost
Still In so much pain
But then she comes along
Picks you up off your feet
And helps you pick a lane
For a long time she walks with you
Anndrea is her name
She introduced you to love again
But you fight it every step of the way
If I knew then what I know now
I'd tell you to stop and turn away
Warn you
I feel bad you didn't know
That she would betray you
But you're so much in love
You forgive her
And expose every feeling you felt for her  
But she already knew
Now you want a family
And to make her your wife
Thinking how things are so good at night
But it never stayed that way
And now you are me
Weak
Laying in the dark
Crying and writing
How pitiful are you
What would the old you think of you
Of me
But even though sometimes it hurt
Her love is worth the pain
Dear younger me
Forget everything I said
Fall in love
And in love again

You're beautiful
A walking masterpiece
And I can't help but stare
So much
That sometimes
It turns into a creepy glare
But I'm just studying your face
The roundness of your nose
The softness of your cheeks
Your firm lips
The glow in your eyes
I try my hardest to remember it all
So I can dream of your face
When I go to sleep
You're beautiful
I just want you to know
I find not one flaw on your face
Even if it was covered in bumps
Oh how I'd adore
The humps
You're beautiful
I love the seriousness
In your face
Your not the one to always smile
But when you do
My heart
Died, quiet and empty
It comes alive
You're beautiful
And I could never get enough of looking at you

I can feel it in my knees
It knocks on my chest when I breath
Crawled to my head
Kicked back and relaxed on my brain
Hello migraine

He laid there
Frozen
While the morning sun climb on his skin
And leaped on his face
Trying to get him to wake
Even if it stretched out it's rays like arms to shake him He was already gone
But his alarm wouldn't quit
It continues to yell
Every five minutes

Until finally his mom came in
Reached out to touch him
And discovered
There was no life under his skin
It was cold
Like a frozen metal pole
Left out in the snow
In her distress
She panic
Still shaking him furiously
Hands clutching her chest
Like she's going into cardiac arrest

She stood there
Not knowing what to do
Crying and sobbing
Tears streaming down her cheek
Snot strolling out her nose like a small creek
She continued to yell his name
But he never got up

We had a bad breakup
And I just couldn't accept
You didn't want to makeup
Came to your door for a talk
But instead you just said no
Take a walk
And wanted me to go
But I panicked
Didn't know what to do
So I reached out and grabbed you
UnIntentionally
And now here we are
Driving full speed down the street
With you in the back seat
Legs bound
And hands tied
Please don't make a peep
I don't want to have to tape your lips
From cheek to cheek
You came with a fuss
Kicking and screaming
Now you just lay there silent
I know you want to speak
Tears streaming down your face
Staring
You won't even blink
I know what you must think
I'm crazy
And obsessed ex
But you're wrong
I tried moving on
But I just couldn't let go
There's no me without you
And if you ask me why
Just know
Love made me

You're my missing piece
She constantly repeats
Taking a handful of my shirt
And plants her firm lips against my cheek
Her lipstick
Leave a stain on my skin
Wherever you are
Thats where I want to be
Sometimes it's still hard to believe
That I could be that finishing piece you need
And even though things are great
Something's are never what they seem

We've long stopped fighting with our words
Now we use fist
Here take this...
An uppercut to your ribs
I can feel your bones shattering against my bare knuckles
It hurts doesn't it
That's how it feels when you tell fibs
And lies
But you won't quit
In mid speech
You jab me in the bridge of my nose
Right between the eyes
We go blow for blow
To stubborn to stop
And your swings don't slow
I don't want to hurt you
But you never hold back
Yelling and screaming
Sinking you nails into my back
But I always retaliate
Slamming my forearm into your gut
You drop to you knees
Struggling to breath
Now you know how it feels
To struggle with trust

You make me want to slit my wrist
Cut off my limbs
Use them as bait
And fish
But right after I jump off a cliff
Trying to embrace the sky
Hoping it will catch me as I pretend to fly

You make me want to down a bottle of NyQuil
Oh how I love its taste
Lay in bed waiting for the affect to take place
Fighting the sleep
As it creep through my system
Like a spider inching in the shadows
Trying to stay out the light

But I don't want to go peacefully
I want it to end painfully
You make me want to jump into a lions cage
Poke it with a stick until it goes into a blind rage
Cut my palms
And slap it in the face
So it can get a taste
Of the blood drizzling out my hand
Like a leaky faucet

Sometimes you make me wanna **** myself

Drip drip
Was all I could hear
From the faucet
Coming from downstairs
The noise like poison
It echoed off the walls
Down the halls
And leaped into my ears
Under the bed I laid stale with fear
Drowning in a pool of tears
Drip drip
Was all I could hear
As it pierced through the silent air
No longer muted by the sound of her screams
Or the sound of the ax
Being whipped through the atmosphere
While it hacked
I heard bones crack
Skin split
Muscles tear
As they were attacked  
Drip drip
Was all I could hear
The smell of blood was so loud
It lingered over my head like a cloud
As I remained hidden
Until your footsteps
Finally went away

Here I sit
At the edge of this Cliff
In my four door ford
Foot on the clutch
And hand on the shift
Cries muffled by the engine noise
Yelling at the sky
Asking God to open up the heavens
And let me in
I'm tired of drinking from the cup of sin
Haunted by what she did
Hell Is what you put me through
And my thoughts drag my down deeper
Just thinking what you might do
But it's all to much
And I can't let it all go
It plays in my head
Over
And
Over
Again and Again
I can't take it
It's time to let go
And that's what I came here to do
Pressing on the clutch
Shifting into gear
And letting go of the wheel
Letting the truck control the steer
Closer and closer
I can see where the cliff ends
There's no turning back now
I can feel gravity fighting back
But it's too late as I go tumbling over the ledge

Have I ever cheated nope
But fighting these temptations
Have left me feeling depleted
And the sin of wanting another's skin against mine
Pulls and tears at my flesh
Trying to rip it apart
I guess I still have some resentment of you  in my heart
And the thought of you doing me *****
Makes me think that cheating might be worth it
But that would make me just like you
And I don't want to make that statement that every man is unfaithful true
So I'll stay down
And continue you hang around
But don't you ever forget that I'm perceptive
And I think all girls are deceptive
Have I ever cheated
Nope
Not on any girl or you
And I don't plan too

Now you then ****** up
Confessed your love
To avoid a break up
What happens when she realize
What you said might not be true
I thought you wanted to be free
What the heck is wrong with you
You were wishing to be single
So we could go out an mingle
But instead you renew the relationship that was annoying you
You ******* up
Why didn't you let it die
You were almost there
But you panic
And In your frantic state
You made a huge mistake
Note to self
Next time think
And don't forget
That I'm in this relationship too

Another morning
Without you
As the sun rise
The feelings I had inside
When I slept
They melt in the early rays
And eventually die
Good morning
I'm not sorry you weren't here when I awake
Even in my dreams
My thoughts of you are full of hate
It's to late
For your speeches of change
And how without me you'll feel pained
You try to love me back to sleep
So you can creep into my bed
Hoping the way you feel
Can sneak into my head
Good morning
It's another day without you
We will never see that sunrise
Whenever I think of you
Night paints over the sky
An I watch as the sun die quietly

**** her
She never treated you
How she was suppose to
Her eyes told the truth
But her mouth full of lies
And they poured off it
Like water off a mountain side
You can always find another
She wasn't worth the trouble
She was the ***** puddle
That came after the rain
That you accidentally stepped in
Soaked your shoes
Even though it took some time
You finally shook the water loose

I wanted to rip the necklace
Right off your neck
And watch the broken chain pieces
Drizzle down your breast
Stare into your eyes as you wept
I wanted to watch you cry
As the charms fell from the sky
And crashed to the earth
I wanted to see your face broken an hurt
I want you to know pain
Like you know love
By snatching what you love off you neck

Your the type of person to say the sky isn't blue
Or if you were caught doing something on video
You'd swear up and down it wasn't you
Why
Cause your a compulsive liar
And that's what a lair do
You would lie if even the truth could help you
You'd lie if a pair of stolen shoes were on your feet
You could lie to my face
And convince yourself your telling the truth
Why
Cause your a compulsive liar
And that's what liars do

Hi big bro
It's me
Your little sister
Who misses you so dearly
I wish you were here
You were my light
Lit up my path at night
You were my sun
Scorched those in my way during the day
You were my safe haven
I could alway come to you
You were my life
I'm incomplete without you
Sometimes I feel so lost
It pains me your not here
To tell me what to do
You were my treasure chest
Everything dear to me
I knew I could always keep safe in you
Hi big bro
It's me
Your little sister
Who misses you like crazy
But I know every time I look up
Your looking down
Always smiling back at me

....

My words can be more viscous then a tiger shark
Hunting after dark
I'd have it metaphorically eat you alive
While you stare at the moon
And blood leak into your eyes
And seep into your sockets
But no you can't die yet
I haven't written the sound it makes when your bones crunch
As it munch
Ripping and tearing through your flesh
Turning your meat into mesh
Never **** of a poet
Through these words I show it
I'd write you into these lines
Until you faced the sentencing for your crimes
Bind you to a train track
With verbs
While the expressions pierce your nerves and keep you in place
And as the chew chew train gets ever so close to your face
Wait
This poet isn't done
It's just to much fun

Dogs are more loyal then men
Of course a women created this
But If women are un loyal
Then what does that make you?
The log that the dog plays fetch with
Yeah your the stick
I mean what's more lower then a dog
I guess the thing
The dog plays with
Or maybe
Your the flea or tick
A nuisance
A *****
I mean what's more lower then a dog
I guess the thing
That causes the dog to bite and itch

Dogs are "more loyal" then men
But dogs
Are a mans best friend

You will never hear me say
I love you
In any kind of way
It won't ever slip my lips
You won't ever see it twinkle in my eyes
If it was a plane on its way to you
I'd shoot it out the skies
So it would never arrive
Loving you is something I could never feel
It will never creep into my heart
Or pop into my head
As I dream in the dark
Even as we lay side by side
There's no reason to hide my love
Because there's no love inside to hide
You will never hear me say
I love you
In an kind of way

These walls are empty
Just like me
Stale and pale
Cold to the touch
These walls are bare
And naked
Stripped
There's bruised
Dented
Decorated with wounds
And scrapped off skin
****** from the knuckle marks
Left on them like hickeys
They've been pealed
There insides revealed
It's just as dark and cold in here
These walls are lonely
They've never been touched
Windows covered in paint
No light ever gets in
No picture or frames  
Just the occasional
Electric outlet
These wall are empty
Just like me

Should I hate you
Or date you
Should I take you back
Or throw you away like a old mat
I'm not sure how I should feel
This doesn't seem real
You use to make me happy
But now I feel ******
I'm confused
Felt like I was used
For you to be amused
I want to believe that you could do better
But you words were like a feather
Easy swept up in the wind
Never have I been this confused

I'm so close to hating you
I can taste it
And I can't take it
So sour and bitter
Come a little closer
Take my hand
So I can break the chain
That had us shacked together
Now I can walk away
With a smile on my face
While you shed tears
As if you were sprayed with mace
If I'm honest
I'd say we shouldn't date

You do this to yourself
If it was just you and me on this earth
You still wouldn't think you were the last girl left
So convinced that it isn't just you
You believe you can hear her breathe
Yelling whose footprints are these
Even though it's you who trail behind me
So blinded by jealously
I've already committed infidelity

Hush
Don't say a word
Just sit back an observe
And watch everything I do
As the thirst for my body grows inside of you
You fight to control
What doesn't belong to you
That burning desire you feel inside
It's mine and doesn't belong to you
Trying to fight it is futile
The wicked truth
Is revealed by the flashes in your eyes
And the sweat
Climbing ever so slowly down your neck
Don't be ashamed
It can't be tamed
Instead give in
And let me guide you
Keep your hands fixated on my hips
And your eyes locked on mine
As I bite your lips
And tease you
With short breaths to your chest
While one of your hands venture to my breast
But this is only the beginning of the test
How far are you willing to go
This one time won't **** you
And our wives don't have to know

Couldn't wait for you to get it right
With each passing day
Disappointment came at night
Chances you ate like candy
But you get no more
And I can take no more
Like a hurt puppy I will lick my sores
Your number in my phone no longer exists
And as we split
Deleted images won't be missed
Or the times our lips touched when we kissed
I can't get far enough away from you
I want you out of my life
Sight
And mind
And once the memories of us burn
Then I'll be fine

It ended in a flash
As the blast
Shattered my ear drums
Like they were glass
I embraced death
With a hug
As it tugged through my flesh
And turned my heart into mesh
My legs limp  
And as I fell
To the pale earth
One more look into her eyes
And to my surprise
It was I
Standing over her as she died

I've forgotten what you sound like
If you were near
What you smelled like
Would be unfamiliar
I can hardly remember what you look like
No calls
Or text
But the silence I like the best
Happy Father's Day
To a father who was never here

He's lost
Stumbling
Pine cones crushing beneath his feet
Getting whipped by the trees
Covered in cuts
From the spiky leaves he brushed
In a rush
Running from trust
He's being chased
Hunted
His life is on the line
Gasping out of breath
He can't be caught
He rather be lost

Teeth chipped
From when I was clipped
Love is hell
And as I fell all
All I could do was yell
And on my way down
There was no soft ground
Only the concrete
Which eventually I would meet

Your promises were like glass
I watch them get brush off the counter
And landed on the ground with a smash

Putrid flesh
Walking
More like stumbling
Down the street
Groaning
And moaning
Searching for live meat
As it drags its half decomposed feet
Leaving a trail of rotted blood
That ooze from the gaps in its teeth
Splashing on the concrete
I watch it walk on by
Passing me
No life in its dead eyes
No breath taking from its exposed lungs
Hanging from its rib cage
But why didn't it try to eat me alive
I am alive
Aren't I?

I like it when you were away
It was easier for everything to be faked
But now that your here  
Everything is real again
I liked it when you were far away
Because then we could pretend
That this would never end
But now that you're here
Wanting to believe in you has just left me with fear
Please go far away
Because now that your here
Everything I felt
Has disappeared

Who cares if I take and extra sip
I'm not trying to **** myself
I'm just sick
And trying to get rid of the cold quick
So I took more night quil then intended
But I'm not suicidal
I didn't finish the bottle
I just took and extra sip

All the way down
I've burrowed into her flesh
Exposing part of the bone with my teeth
Yanked out the muscles
Searching for the soft meat
Peeled away her skin
Until there was none left
Clawed at her organs
Saved her heart as the last piece
Split open her chest
And watched it beat
Hopefully after I take this last bite
It will fulfill my appetite

How much would you pay
If my heart was put out for display
Ready to be sold
What would you give
How much would you bid
How high would you go
Would you give all you owned
What's my heart worth
If you got out bid
Would losing to another hurt

Your suppose to feel
Love
Hate
Happiness
And pain
But for the most part I'm just feeling this was a mistake

This puddle I try to avoid
The uncertainty of how deep it goes
I rather not know
So I tip toe
Around it
To cautious to take even a dip
Afraid I might slip

But this puddle  
You splash in
Dance and dash through
Until your clothes are soaked
And It drips from you
Un phased by its weight
As the water tugs on you

It's your turn to hurt
And to feel betrayed
I'm going to make sure this kills you
And puts you in a grave
What you made me feel
For you
It's going to be ten times worse
As our lips touch
I'll be thinking of you
Hoping from this angle you'll get a perfect view
My hands trace the lining of her pants
I envision the look on your face
Watch close as this unfolds
She tightens her grip on me
As I begin to unbutton her clothes
I think of you shaking your head no
I hope you disapprove of what I'm about to do
Because I'm doing this for revenge
To get back at you

I don't know if I can see this through
Lately I've been having seconds thoughts
Never had any regrets
But maybe this was a mistake
I don't know how many disappointments I can take

You just have the face of one of those people who look like they would cheat

A blemish
Purple and red
What went through your mind
At the time
As she ****** on you
And her lips touched your neck  
Was there panic or distress
Or where you so far gone
You didn't care she was attached to your neck
Where was the respect
And now this relationship is a mess
Still in recovery
Unable to move to the next step
How could you betray me
You shattered the trust
Just for one day
But hay  
Enjoy the memory
If that hickey
That wasn't given by me

In our swap of spit
As we kissed
And our lips hit
You said you weren't contagious
But now I'm sick

It landed upon your arm
As if it was a branch to rest
But it tickled your flesh
And in your distress
You took its breath

Are you really unhappy
Is that what you really feel
Or is it something you made up
Believed in it so much you've made it real
Tell me you deep dark secrets
I promise they won't be revealed
Why are you always so angry
Is it because your dad isn't here
Do you feel abandoned
What's going on in the inside
Why can't you let anyone in
It's terrible to hold everything in
Your only hurting yourself
You keep everything bottled up
Eventually your going to bust
I can hear you screaming on the inside
You just want someone to trust
But your never going to be happy
Unless you learn how to open up

Your on a path to conquer my heart
But the ground has been ***** trapped with land mines since the start
Buried so you couldn't see
This trail has been long closed
The warning sign
Has grown fragile
And infected with mold  
But like an idiot you venture forth
Driven by feelings you just can't control
They send you on a surge to try and claim this path
I wish I could tell you it was just the land mines trying to keep you back
If you shall make it past
You will find yourself standing before a forest
With barbed wire hanging from the branches instead of leaves
And this isn't the end
If the other two didn't stop you before
This definitely will put a stop to you
Beyond the tress you will find an oasis
But don't fooled by its beauty
Or you will find yourself in the mouth of quick sand
I advise you turn and walk away
Because you never had a chance