Struck a vein in my heart like you struck a nerve
Now I’m heated
And bleeding
Didn’t know I was so human
Who knew a small *****
Could cause this much blood
Spent so much time trying to cover it up
That I missed the tears
Pouring
But men don’t cry
So I stepped out in the rain and hid it
Numb today but tomorrow I feel it

It’s true
Sometimes I think of you too
And then I get sad
My eyes swell with tears
And I’m on the brink
Of rushing back to the memories
But then I get chin checked
By the way you left
And instead of returning
I inhale
Take a deep breath
And remember
That I’m already gone
But sometimes I think of you too

Flew into the heart of the storm
To afraid to look over my shoulder
I know it’s nothing but an empty seat
Co pilots missing
As always it’s only been me
A message from the tower
Chimes in like the voice in my head
But it just comes across as static
Message unclear
Warnings missed
Is it my fault?
Alone in the cabin
But I still decided to take off
Couldn’t hold on
No applicants deem fit
All protocols cleared
Now I fight to keep the plane in flight
Carrying the hurt and hate
The pain and fear
Saddens and embarrassment
All seating in their separate chairs
But this is where we might all go down
Engine one failed
Brace for impact
The turbulence was stronger then we feared

I wish you well but I
Can no longer keep hope alive
30 total compression
2 breaths
Repeat these steps
Check for a pulse
Nothing yet
So I try again
15 chest compression to keep the blood in rotation
2 breaths to fill the lungs
A slap to the face to shock you awake
But you continue to lay un phased  
Arms burn from the failed attempts
Exhaustion starting to set in
I’m tired
Of trying
I wish you well but I’m
Done

The concrete freezes my feet
As my legs sink
Deeper with each step into the snow
Soaking my jeans
Drenched
Who knew it would be this heavy
The cool air
Runs down the back of my shirt
Chilling my bones
Gray clouds drone above
Bleaching everything in its tint
How depressing
My arms pressed snug against my chest
Hoping to keep in the warmth
But it ultimately fades
I know I’m digressing
Wrestling with the cold within and out
How depressing
Water frozen mid air
Softly drifting in the wind
Melting as it touches my face
Slipping down my cheeks like tears
Quickly I wipe it away
How perplexing
It almost felt real

Plastic cracked
I seem to be falling apart
The result of your tight clutch
As you hold me close to your heart
And I sink into your breast
I can feel your hurt
Today must’ve been a bad one
Because the pain is so much worse
But what can I do
I’m just a tool
A conduit
And I won’t last much longer
I’ve been over used
Not miss handle
Chip parts
Just shows I’m that frail
A toy
But a solider still the same
My mission is to comfort
And even as I wither
Part by part
I cannot fail

I treated you like trash
Crumbled you up like a *** of paper
Folded you
And stuffed you in my back pocket
Just in case I needed you for later
Your skin was like paper
My personal sheet
That I wrote on
In pen
And permanent marker
Wrote hate you's in cursive
On your forehead
Stained you with footprints
From when you fell and I stepped on you
Tore you in half
When I was frustrated and mad
Then tapped you back
Left you soggy
Black ink
Dripped from your eyes
When you cried
Doodle on you when I was bored
And you wore the markings with pride
Even when I threw you away
You ended up back in my lap
Like a gust of wind blew you back on my path
I'm ashamed I treated you like crap
And you couldn't tame my attention seeking ways