Hey you,

I hope you’re not sick of hearing from me.
I’ve been writing letters to you in my sleep.
It seems your last reply got lost in the mail.
Or I probably just forgot the return address.                                                  
Again.­

It’s been a long time, hasn’t it?
I’m not quite sure anymore.
I’ve never seemed to be able to keep track.
I think I’ve been stuck in this sort of -
loop.

Have you ever felt like that?
Spinning over, and over, and over,
and over.
A record on repeat.

Anyways, I miss you.
I’ve been trying to call, but it’s kind of funny –
it never even goes to voicemail.
It just keeps on ringing.
Ring. Ring. Ring.

I guess your inbox is full.
All those missed messages from me.
You’re probably just busy.
Again.

I should be busy too –
But of course, I’m not.
Again.

I guess I’ll go and write more letters in my sleep.
Wait for the lost replies –
Ignore the tears in my eyes.
Keep playing that record on repeat.

I know you’ll be home eventually.

Love you always.
Sincerely, me.

i wonder what i would’ve been like
if i learned to love myself
instead of being taught to break down every little atom and put it on display
just to be torn apart

I guess I've always had this habit -
of seeing what I want.
Closing my eyes to all my real needs -
letting this weight lift off of me

It's all so temporary.

I know I can't keep burying these dreams.
Pretending the feeling will soon go away -
simply waiting for it to crash down onto me.

I'm trying so hard to look for the tether -
of what’s holding it(me) together.
Some interests are not as much as I thought -
kindness is all I really sought.

But Jesus Christ look at me.

I am so ******* cliche -
I am the bird that wants to be set free.
But I am not the damsel in distress -
and I'll never be.

There is nothing to save,
no castle to climb,
no beast to slay.

I’m not the princess.
I’m not even the prince.

This is not a storybook.
I’ll never be that pretty fantasy.

you’re smarter than me.
stronger than me.
and a bit more scared than me.

ignorance is bliss.
weakness is strength.
fear is excitement.

☼

i guess ive always had a thing for fire
standing too close -
letting the smoke suffocate me,
the smell latch onto me.
i know i might burn,
but it’s where i want to be -

ignited by all of this desire inside of me

I've always been a little selfish,
a little spineless,
a little reckless.

I'll use anything as an excuse.
An excuse for the lack of -


                                      l  o  n  g  i  n  g.


God, I wish I could change things.

Ripping off- each bandaid,
salting every wound.

God, I wish there was another option.

I am closing all the doors.
I am pouring gasoline.

God, I am so sorry.

I've always been -
a little mindless.
Always shown -
a little too much kindness.

I've just never felt so flightless,
I don't really feel like -
I should fight this.