Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
Nevermind Jan 2017
Your words reminded me
Of things I couldn't believe
All those years it seemed
Everything was just a dream
Tried to be pretty
Tried to be clean
But everyone saw right through me
Caught in the illusion
Dancing through reality
Lost in the confusion
The wicked schemes
And through it all nothing's real it seems
Just the thoughts, the visions
The rest is heat
Lost to mysteries down desert roads
And summer night's breeze
Caressing sails of boats
Nevermind Nov 2015
I'm locked in a prison
In which I'm the guard
Brittle, tired bones
Are my cell bars
Along the walls of damp corridors
Echoes the sound of my heart
I've been trapped in here so long
I can see through the dark
Where shunned thoughts hide
In murky black fear
I'm not alone in this cell
Yet it's so lonely here
For the only thing left
To accompany me
Is the song of my mistakes
And my sorrowful heart's beat
ED
Nevermind Jul 2015
ED
I'm sorry I'm such a disappointment
I must be such a bother to you
Just know that I am in great pain
Doing the things I do
It hurts to eat
It hurts to sleep
The pain stems from a place
So, so deep
I just hope you know
I'm so sorry
I'm not the person
You wanted me to be
Nevermind Nov 2015
I hear the noises
Of you preparing to leave
Lazy eyes rolling
Taking in the scene
Ready to do it
All over again
Even though I'm still feeling
The mind altering effects
Your feet are thumping
Down the stairs
I'm truly sorry
I don't even get scared
Not anymore
I'm not afraid
The person you know
Is far away
There really is
No self in me
So grab your jacket
And clink your keys
I'm pulling the drapes
Away from the window
Your sleek car starts
With a reddish glow
It remains in the driveway
For a moment or two
And I stand still
Taking in the view
Breathing in the simplicity
Of the action in itself
Before you drive off
And I'm left by myself
By myself
All alone
In this place
Our shared home
Except for that box
That's calling my name
The one that's been singing
All **** day
The only thing for my presence
That'll ever wait
I love when you leave
I love empty space
Nevermind Aug 2016
Can't keep pushing the pain away
Can't keep saving it for another day
Up in smoke, white washed and straight
I can't keep running from this bitter pain
It haunts me every waking hour
Looking for weakness, a place to devour
I'm so tired but can't slow down
The hurt is waiting all around
Walls enclosing
Shrieking sound
I looked for comfort
Numbs all I found
Chasing that first high
Reliving our old goodbyes
Torn up skin
Bloodshot eyes
Empty parking lot
Under the rain
I'm a fugitive
To this endless pain
So tired of running
I'm so insane
So tired of running
But when I close my eyes
It seeps in slowly
Churning in my mind
Nevermind May 2015
She's been hurt a thousand times before
She cant take it anymore
She's built up walls, and an iron door
She's trapped within her own endospore
Nevermind Mar 2017
When I cry myself to sleep
I think of you, beneath white sheets
Sleeping soundly, completely at peace
My heart is pounding whilst adrift on a dream
I lie here dying it's so hard to breath
There's so many things you wouldn't believe
The summer flowers are soaked in rain
You've found cover while I'm drenched in pain
The whitish scars they spell your name
Killing time and hopping trains
I remember the land that used to roll
And all the fields we used to roam
The watercolor bruises, running from home
Fleeing from the hurt with no where to go
Nevermind Apr 2015
I missed you yesterday
I missed you today
And tomorrow's gonna be the same old way
Nevermind Oct 2015
I won't think about you
And all the time we shared
I won't think about how I sat by the window
Wondering if you still cared
Only to be assured
By all of your empty lies
The ones I swore I'd never believe
The ones on which I relied
If it weren't for these meds
I'd still be able to cry
The image of you standing before me
Forever in my lonely mind
I promise it's not your fault
Anyone else would have moved on
I won't think about you anymore
I've done it for so long
Nevermind Aug 2016
Underneath the boiling night sky
I felt the heat of your hand in mine
I couldn't breathe most of the time
Entrapped in steam and starlights shine
I never wondered how I looked
Enchanted and lost within loves book
My eyes locked on a single spell
Your heart was mine, far as I could tell
I never wondered if you'd stay
Or if this heat would dissipate
Or if the love would fade away
But you chose her and that's okay
Nevermind Apr 2015
I held on so tight
How did I loose it all?

I never knew life could have felt that good
You were the only one who understood

Turns out you didn't understand me at all
You let go and watched me fall
I haven’t reached the ground quite yet
But when I do I hope I’ll be dead
I hope the impact is enough to turn me to dirt
I hope it’ll put an end to all this hurt

I’m so alone yet loneliness is my friend
It’s the only thing that’ll be here till the very end
‘Cause even if I meet someone new
We’ll be apart when death is due

Loneliness always accompanies me
By my side it’ll always be
Even though it hurts so bad when it’s around
Is there ever a time when I’m not feeling down?

It seems as if every day is the same
It feels as if I’ve had my last happy day
But the thing that gets to me the most
Isn't the loneliness that follows me like a ghost
It’s the fact that this is all in my head
It’s a feeling that no one else could "get”

Interacting with others is like ripping flesh from bone
Within myself I've made my own home
I close my eyes and escape to places far away
To a place where my beloved loneliness wont hurt me
To a better day
Nevermind Jan 2019
I want to take this world
And grab it by the hair
Beat it up like that girl
That got me expelled last year
I’ll pull out it’s tracks
Leave them in the street
It’s fun to be a badass
Fists clenched, bare feet
It’s probably not good
To let myself get this mad
If I was smarter I would
Find an outlet that
Won’t get me arrested
And read my rights
I’m tired of domestics
And red and blue lights
Nevermind May 2015
Perfect wives
Living perfect lives
Hiding bruises
Under perfect lies
Perfect children
Can do no wrong
Singing in tune
To their parents song
But I refuse
To go along
With crooked systems
And ****** traditions
I won't sing
I'll scream
Everyone's ashamed
Of me
Nevermind May 2015
Life is going
Way too fast
What if I'm not ready
To give up the past?
Time is seemingly
Prying it from my hands
And leaving me with memories
Of bright green grass
Sugar soaked smiles
Candy coated days
Now everything's dull
Dismal and gray
Nevermind Oct 2015
I was afraid of your fingers
Crawling in my hair
Like silent spiders
Lurking there
I was afraid of your voice
So deep and low
It was the only thing
That let me know
You were still alive
Lying at my side
I swore you were dead
Most of the time
I was so deathly afraid
Of everything you did
But most of all
I was afraid that you'd dip
And leave me here
All alone
Abandoned by fear
An empty home
I was so afraid
To displease you
That I did everything
You asked me to do
And gradually
I fell in love
With the very fear
Provoked by your touch
But just as I went
To reach out my hand
And grab hold of you
You suddenly vanished
And left me alone
With these dreary thoughts
Without that fear
I've become so lost
Nevermind Sep 2015
I think we found forever
But forever changes sometimes
And just as we reached that beautiful place
It changed before our eyes
Nevermind Jan 2019
I’m not uptight
Just afraid to be a human
What wrong what’s right
What should I be doing
What is natural
And what’s deemed odd
I follow the patterns though
I’m still not as strong
As people who are confident
And know what to say
People who have lots of friends
And don’t stare at the wall all day
I know I can break out of this
I just get so afraid
It’s easier to stay within
So the feelings won’t escape
Nevermind Aug 2016
Islands of paradise basking in the sun
Situated on the horizon, untouched and un-run
Gazing out into the glow I see you and I
In the rustic smolder, where our loves still alive
I see the person I was meant to be
The shimmering dream vessel that encapsulates me
My ship sways lazily drunk on melancholy dreams
The glamour of this paradise is just a bitter tease
I see the light so bright but cannot feel it's warmth
I see it green and shimmering from your dock's shore
I raced against fate to capture the dream
I lost myself in the chase, and still it's all I see
Nevermind Oct 2016
Either way it'll end the same
You and I underneath lamp shades
Bashfully shining, beaming golden rays
I close my eyes and slip away
Exhaling slowly a cloud of smoke
Dreaming about the songs you wrote
Memories glistening against the sun
Our love is warmth for everyone
Billowing upwards in whitish haze
You're so perfect, I hope you never change
Wrapped up in the feeling
Not a care in the world
Just two shining twinkles
In the eyes of a girl
Nevermind Mar 2016
Close your eyes
Make it true
Say I'll never
Find another like you
Nevermind Mar 2017
I wish I didn't **** up so much
I wish it was easier to get in touch
I wish the words were just enough
But they're hollow and meaningless
Like the "friends" and the drugs
You've been singing a different song
You don't know the words but you hum along
There's a harmony of right and wrong
Sometimes it's hard to decide which one
I don't have the voice to sing acapella
But you sing the same old songs and I'm fed up
I know I'd never be the one to step up
So I've decided I won't sing at all
Anything to go against the grain
Anything to show I'm not the same
You talk and talk
But you'll never walk
So what's the ******* point anyway?
Nevermind Jan 2016
I chased after you
In lustful sin
And many other things
Love's hidden in
I was a pawn
In your foolish game
You spun me 'round
Again and again
'Till I was so I dizzy
I could only speak your name
So many nights
Tears were shed
I hid my agony
In love instead
I chased after you
Blinded by stupidity
How were you able
To make me believe?
With a swift kick
To the backs of my knees
Falling
Falling
In love so deep
Nevermind Dec 2015
We'll melt out of our clothes
Like burning candles
Hopeless love flickering in the night
When everything feels so despondently wrong
You make me feel alright
Nevermind May 2016
I've always envied your white teeth
So much cleaner than mine
But we're just here to pretend to meet
To pretend to have a good time
I'll remember your name
And you'll probably forget mine
Tortured by the smallest things
A red brick walled in mime
Nevermind May 2015
I'll always be
Your forever flower
Through December snow
And April showers
Please love me
When I'm no longer vibrant
And resilient
Please love me
When my petals are dull
And wilted
Nevermind May 2015
I'm feeling like
I just cant hold on anymore
You were my world
I was barely a portion of yours
I didn't expect you to love me
I just thought that you'd care
Now it seems you're out of reach
You said you'd always be there
Nevermind Jun 2015
Desperate mouths scream
Emitting no sound
Never to be heard
Yet still go on
Screaming all day
Into the night
Never to be heard
Making no sound despite
The twisted expressions
On their faces
Never to be heard
Abandoned and disgraced
Nevermind Nov 2015
I wish I could kiss you
Just one more time
And taste the sin
Between your lips and mine
I wish I could touch you
And see your face
But you're long gone
You're far away
I'll never forget
Just how you taste
It was so unique
And when I lay
Perfectly still
And close my eyes
Your lips again
Rest upon mine
Nevermind May 2016
Words are anything you want them to be
Let your heart be light
Let your mind be free
No need to be sophisticated
Or have meaning in depth
Just simply pick up
Wherever you've left
Nevermind Mar 2017
I see you
Trying to talk to me
You look so blue
And under the shade of trees
You seem to disappear
For once you leave me
But underneath the sun
You follow so bravely
I watch the way you mimic me
To learn the ways of humans and things
I like the way you walk so tall
So bold, so utterly unlike me
I can't read your lips
But your hands spell a word
The silhouette I long to kiss
Changes into a koi, then a bird
And when I try to hold you
Close to me in my arms
You try to hold me too
But we simply drift apart
Nevermind Apr 2016
My body is my temple
Contained yet disassembled
Nevermind Jul 2016
I keep licking this tree
But the sap is gone
It's all dried up
We're moving on
We're getting old
Both you and I
In lots of ways
We both can fly
But also too scared
To flirt with the sky
I felt a little bold
And punched you goodbye
Now all I want
Is to kiss your black eye
I can't tell if what I did
Was wrong or right
I ripped you away
Attached at my side
Burst open the veins
That kept us alive
Tore open wounds
Stretched the lies
Our love was an ocean
But it's overtime gone dry
Nevermind Nov 2015
It all seems like a blur to me now
Awash in the euphoria of being found
Lately all I can think about
Is how cold it is here on the ground
I haven't gotten up since you left me here
Limbs tangled in vines
Flowers growing in my hair
Nevermind Jan 2019
I wish I was dead
I don’t want to breath
I guess I can’t stand
The responsibilities
You have to do this
You have to do that
All I’ve ever wanted
Is to not feel so bad
I just shut down
I don’t need you in my life
I miss when we used to hug and say goodnight
Now I just fall into this dreamless sleep
I miss you so much I don’t want to breathe
Nevermind Sep 2018
The day you began seeing me
As you see everyone else
Was the day I tried to stick up for myself
The day I said what I knew to be true
Was the day I became nothing to you
Nevermind Jan 2019
I want to be strong
In all the wrong ways
You can’t please them all
But watch what you say
I don’t want to fall
Forget yesterday
I can’t worry about
The things that won’t change
If I’m scared to run
Then I’ll never fly
I’ll follow the sun
If only with my eyes
I’m not the one
Who’s obsessed with the night
Done hiding in darkness
I’ll seek out the light
Happiness is something
You must get up and find
I don’t want to lay down
I just want to fight
Nevermind Jul 2015
Drove through the town
You once called home
I instantly knew
It was no longer your own
Nothing had changed
The same old bones
But you no longer lingered
The grass overgrown
Everything was empty
No life to be found
Though people were bustling
All around
The absence of you
Was just so profound
So I looked over once more
And turned around
Nevermind Apr 2015
I looked around the corner
And saw her dancing
Barefoot on glass
Her movements were enchanting
Her long hair followed behind
Like a tail on a cat
Her eyes looked empty
Yet I wanted that
She danced to a silent beat
Her smooth motions
Intoxicated me
I should have known better
Than to go through that door
She ****** me into
Her desolate world
She took off my shoes
And broke a glass bottle on the floor
I didn't cry
I wanted to be just like her
We danced and danced
And danced all day
She corrected my movements
Along the way
We danced and danced
And danced on glass
I hadn't even realized
How much time had passed
'Till one day I turned
For the thousandth time
And realized she was no longer
By my side
But I keep dancing
Because I know
Those who dance on glass
Dance alone
Nevermind Nov 2015
For all the wounds that just won't close
All the sorrows they'll never know
For all the tears behind closed doors
We'll drink just a little more
Nevermind Aug 2015
The season's change
Has crept up on me
Far more quickly
Than I'd like to believe
Already brittle
And not as green
Waving goodbye
In fallen leaves
Soon it'll be fall
Then a blanket of snow
And finally summer again
Before we know
Nevermind Mar 2016
Wish things were different
But then they wouldn't be the same
You'll never live it
I can't forget your name
Wish things were different
But they wouldn't be the same
Wish I could trade my skin
But you wouldn't know my name
Nevermind Feb 2016
He loves me the way
That you loved me
Gripping my jaw
Making me bleed
Shattering my soul
Bruising my skin
He loves me
Like you did
I've found you
In black eyes
A ****** nose
I miss you so much
I'm numb to the blows
He grabs my hair
And asks me why
And I just laugh
And close my eyes
'Cause when he yells
I think of you
And all the things
You used to do
Nevermind Jun 2015
I'm sorry
For hiding
Behind
Empty smiles
Sometimes
It just
Comforts me
To pretend
Everything's okay
For a while
Nevermind Feb 2016
Who broke your happiness?
And chased your smile away?
Who stole you from me?
You look so sad these days
I'll listen to every single word
You'll ever have to say
To see that same smile once again
Glowing on your face
Nevermind May 2019
I want everything back
But would I really trade it all?
The times we had, good and bad
I just wish I could call
You're right here but I've pushed you away
I guess there isn't much I'd change
I know I'm so impossible to love
Afraid you'll get tired
Knowing you'll give up
So I let go before you can
There's not as much pain when the blade's in my hand
Nevermind Nov 2018
This world seems to treat me
As low as I hang my head
I just can’t help feeling
Things are better left unsaid
If I choose to ruminate
Abiding by rules no one created
Only I will be the fool
Only then will I be mistaken
The best moments in life
Weren’t given much thought
And some of the worst
But at least they brought
Something to be said
And through it all
I realize everything starts with a thought
Maybe that was you and I
The same old thoughts going through my mind
If I say they are good thoughts they will be
It’s o k to miss you being apart of me
Nevermind Mar 2016
You're so *****
Everyone knows
What you do
Before you get home
Sometimes they laugh
Like it's a joke
Covering disgust
Like rusty bike spokes
You taught me how
To take off in flight
And I rode around the yard
Grass green
Sun bright
Whatever they said
It never phased me
I always greeted you
With a kiss on the cheek
The things you did
The things you said
I didn't understand
Eyes bloodshot and red
I wonder if when you lied
You thought it was the truth
Though we don't talk
Every time we do
It's like no time has passed
It's like nothing has changed
I'm a little girl again
Everything's the same
I promise I won't be scared
This summer when you call
I'll hop on your bike
And ride out into the fall
Nevermind Jul 2015
The lazy cat yawned and made a song of it's own
Penetrating the murky silence of the sleeping home
The grandfather clock, leaning solemnly against the wall
Dreamed of better days, when it stood strong and tall
Back when life moved to its swaying
-
Who would answer it's call ?
Now the only thing constant, winter, spring, summer and fall
Where had the children gone, that dashed down the steps ?
Who was there to cry for them, in the wake of their deaths ?
One by one they all became teeth in the tall grass
Adding to death's chilling grin, consuming them at last
Ask the other's, they'll tell you
Death's face was in those flames
So if you dare to tread the grass, don't dare to say their names
Nevermind Jul 2019
This is the worst it's ever been
It's raining outside
Can't get back in
My keys are buried in the ground
Guess I was hoping they wouldn't be found
Now they're just impossibly deep
Too far for you, way beyond me
I can see them in my mind
Taunting me behind my eyes
I shouldn't have left but I did
Singing birds and screaming kids
Empty hands - lost fingertips
This is the worst it's ever been
Nevermind Jul 2015
Ragged breath
Raw lungs
Swollen eyes
Twisted tongues
Frozen feet
Confused hands
No one will ever
Understand
"It's no big deal"
I should just "relax"
But they can't feel
Their sanity snap
When all the sudden
A panic attack
Consumes you entirely
And takes you back
To everything that
You've ever done wrong
At the very same time
Thinking nothing at all
Mind blank
Yet swirling with thoughts
I'm far past help
I'm just so lost
The water's high
And I'm so low
**** my life
No one knows
Or they think
But really don't
I'm just a mask
Over brittle bones
And nothing else
Yet somehow I'm housing
An inner hell
The only inhabitant
Being me
And the invisible voices
That constantly scream
Next page