This year feels reminiscent of the last,
Another set of commercialized holidays,
A life destroyed by the happenings of my past,
I can't fathom a day clear from my haze.

I still can't write, I still can't draw,
and everyday I awake with a new flaw.
Take me to court and steal my life,
Slit my filthy throat with my knife.
I truly wish to not be here,
everyday I grow in fear.

Is my time now here?

Every night his head rests upon me
Each day the weight of his thoughts and burdens grow
Can no one honestly see
His desire for happiness and life will no longer flow
Alone, trapped in a nightmare
Waiting to feel the fall and wake
He has created his own lair
And wont let anyone in for their own sake
All I can do is sit here and watch
Oh look, what a surprise, another notch
His sorrow is flattening me
And I believe its time for people to see.

I'm sick of the world's *******
I'm sick of life's tragedies

But I'm in Love
But its not romantic
Its not living
Its not intimate

This Love I have
Is reserved for the drugs
That keep me alive.

I remember a day,
Same as any other.
Other than everything.
For that was the day,
The trees walked the boy.
Everyone thought he was dead.
They were foolish,
That wasn't a noose,
Simply a leash,
Except,
The boy controlled where he went.

I sit here, last stretch of High school, and I realize something.
I'm not right, not right in the head. I'm damaged, I'm broken.
I'm sick, I'm sad, I'm unhappy, I'm dying...Or maybe already dead.

I'm not prepared, not to go out into that ruthless world.
And I'm far from ready to leave this one called School.
I'm not prepared to take my life, that would hurt my friends.
Or would it really? I'm often paranoid everyone hates me.

Well, regardless, I'll tell you what I do know, nothing.
I don't know what I want to do with my life.
I don't know who I want to marry in my life.
I don't know where I want to ******* live in my life...

But... I do, I do know, that I am scared.
Very scared...