I know my poems aren't perfect, but
Writing helps me
So I will write
Everyday.
Because I'm not perfect either.
---
JMB

I'm lost on a gravel road
In the middle of nowhere.
But it's okay.
In fact, I couldn't be
Happier about it.

Because sometimes
I get lost in my head
And I can't escape
No matter how much
I scream and cry for help.
The left and right sides of
My brain collide
And blood sprays everywhere
And my thoughts are all mixed up
andijustcantthinkandpleasemakeitstop
PLEASEIMBEGGINGYOUTOSAVEM­E
CANTYOUSEEME?

Nobody knows.
They don't hear me laughing at myself
Every time I look in a mirror.
They don't see me fall apart
And cower
Every time I see him
Because I think I'm in love,
But too much of a coward
To actually find out
Or even to just talk to him as a friend.

I used to be brave.
I used to be fearless
And not give two *****
About what anyone thought of me.

But everything is different now.
Only getting to relax when
I'm laying under a
Blanket of stars.
Only getting to
Really breathe when
I'm sitting next to one of
My best friends while she
Hits the gas and
We cruise down a dark, gravel road.
She takes a wrong turn.

I'm lost on a gravel road
In the middle of nowhere.
But it's okay.
---
JMB

I don't want to die.
Okay, let me rephrase that.
I mean I don't want a typical death.
I want it to be unforgettable.
I don't want to die any of the ways
That have already been used.
Car accidents.
Burning.
Health problems.
******.
Suicide.
OD
And much more.
You see, all these ways of death
include something else:
Statistics.
I don't want to be a statistic when I die.
I don't want the only remaining part of me
To be just a single number
Buried under millions more.
But I don't have a say in the matter,
Do I?
---
JMB

I think I saw my
Soulmate on the street
The other night.

I was walking along the sidewalk
That was dripping with rainwater.
The night was humming with
Its dark secrets.

And then suddenly I saw him.
I felt all the heavy
Decay and dead matter
Fall off my shoulders
And when I looked down,
I saw that it all had
Turned into feathers.

Millions of pictures flooded
My mind of what we could be
If only we knew each other's names.

I felt a joy deep inside places
I'm usually too afraid to even acknowledge.
Like my heart.
And my soul.

My stomach was full of butterflies.
My heart was full of sparks that
I need you to make into a
Passionate fire.

You passed with a warm smile
And suddenly I melted.
I should've melted into your arms, but
They weren't open, waiting to
Catch me.

But it's okay.
I don't blame you.
I know it's my fault.
I know I should open up more.
But I'm afraid.

When I saw you,
I wasn't afraid, not even for
One second.

I smiled back.
And said one word that made
Your smile open wider than
I ever thought possible.
"Hi."

I'd like to thank you, Soulmate.
I don't know your name,
Your age,
Your favorite song.
But you still somehow made me feel a way
I've never felt before.
I've never felt such joy.
I've never felt so brave.
I've never felt like
I could touch the stars
Before I saw you on that
Rainy street.

---
JMB