And my love, like a flame, when you tend me, I only grow bigger.

And my love, like a flame,  dies when you are cold to me.

And my love, like a flame, burns until there is none of me left.

And my love, like a flame,  was smothered.

And my love, like a flame, burned you.

And my love, like a flame, went out

And, my love, like a flame...

You left scars on me.

Talking myself out of suicide
I don't  want to ride so do I get to die?
And I don't even want to try.
I feel like I'm burning alive by being alive.
I wanted to buy mom a house and a ride
5 kids a picket fence and a be a trophy wife.
I wanted to honeymoon in Dubai
I wanted to make my family millionaires
I wanted to be so beautiful I get blank stares
I wanted to give everyone everything.
But how can I give if I'm worth nothing.

I'm sorry I just can't live like this.
I've been suffering since 96'
Everyone thinks I'm a *****.
So if I leave it will make no difference.

I'm getting scars from hot showers.
I can't be sober for more than an hour.
I'm named after a flower
But don't bring me Jasmines.
Just burn and scatter me at the Eiffel Tower.

I don't know, if I do this will I burn in hell?
Either way I will get dressed and beat my face.
If I'm the Hollywood of Holy Hell.

Just when I think I'm tired of loving you.

And I get bored with thinking about you all **** day.

I get frustrated.

Because my thoughts are on replay.

So I get up and turn on my red light at three am.

And say.

"This is the last love poem I'm writing for your black ***."

Yet here I am.

I go to sleep thinking about you.
I wake up thinking about you.
When I'm doing my makeup, I'm thinking about you.

When I'm eating, I think about you.
When I'm driving, reading, cutting hair, and even sleeping...I'm still thinking about you.

...But when I'm around you I can't think at all.

I go to sleep thinking about you.
I wake up thinking about you.
When I'm doing my makeup, I'm thinking about you.

When I'm eating, I think about you.
When I'm driving, reading, cutting hair, and even sleeping...I'm still thinking about you.

...But when I'm around you I can't think at all.

I want a honey moon phase type love.

Where I'm so nervous to see you and I'm so nervous when I'm around you but its still the best **** part of my day.

I want to catch you staring at me, but you quickly look away, and I'm thinking..."Wait, was just this ***** just looking at me...or am I tripping?"

I want to, get dressed up really cute for when I see you today, and have exactly what I'm going to say planned, out but stutter anyways.

I want a type of love when I admit to all of my friends how much I like you and I feel a weight lift off of me from carrying around the burden that is loving you in private.

And I want to love on you in private. I want to, sneak away and make out with you under the stairs, and get really quiet and and stand really still when we hear someone coming through the back door, but you keep trying to kiss on me anyways.

And I want to, ask you what time your lunch break is even though I already know, so I can ask you to grab some Starbucks with me. But really, because you used to work there and you know the menu a lot better than me, and like, I really want what I'm drinking to taste good because, like, five bucks is SOOO much for one stupid coffee. And what's up with Starbucks anyways. They're like a billion dollar business and I can't even get an extra pump of Carmel for free, like why would I-
sorry...
...Anyways!

I want a love where we can just ride and listen to 90's R&B; and it be the most relaxing part of our days, even though we don't really know where we're going.

I want to steal all of your hoodies to sleep in just because they smell like you, even though my covers are drenched in your scent and I'm lying under you already.

And I want that type of love where you send me flowers, and surprise me with my favorite foods for lunch. And all the girls at my job say we're so cute, but some of them have stank faces on...cause you know.
******* be hating.

And I want all your boys to love me, but really can't stand my *** because I be tripping when you go out because I just wanna have you all to myself.

And I want you to get all tight when you see someone looking at me in public, and you want to knock him out but you don't because you were raised better than that.

And I want that type of love to where I can show you this poem and you laugh and then **** me because it was cute and funny but it still kind of turned you on.

**I want that kind of love that is all you.
And nothing else.

She says

This is not a love poem.

This is a
why the **** aren't you in love poem.
   A
where the **** are my white doves
   And
Cinderella gloves poem.

Waiting on a fairy tale,
And
Waiting for you to tell
  And
yell, to the top of your lungs
  And profess your love, poem
This is a waiting for you to show em'
...Poem.

This is not a love poem.

This is a,
why are you so dumb
  And
Why don't I make your heart beat like a drum
   And a,
******* ANYWAYS BECAUSE YOU CAN'T MAKE ME ***,
Poem.

And he says.

**This is not a love song.

This is a  
We haven't even been together that long
  And
I wish I could hit you instead of this ****
  And
Stop telling me, to stop telling you, to stop telling me, that I do you so wrong...
Song.

This is not a love song,

This is a,
Can you shut the **** up and quit all the crying,
And be appreciative that a *****'s even trying,
Every time I "**** up" you wanna pack your **** and run away,
Just to complain to your  homegirls all day,
Acting like I'm treating you so wrong, because you go through my phone,
and see a picture of an *** in a thong,

So you should thank god, instead of hitting you I hit this ****.

And I'll thank God, that this is not a love song.

She says

This is not a love poem.

This is a
why the **** aren't you in love poem.
   A
where the **** are my white doves
   And
Cinderella gloves poem.

Waiting on a fairy tale,
And
Waiting for you to tell
  And
yell, to the top of your lungs
  And profess your love, poem
This is a waiting for you to show em'
...Poem.

This is not a love poem.

This is a,
why are you so dumb
  And
Why don't I make your heart beat like a drum
   And a,
******* ANYWAYS BECAUSE YOU CAN'T MAKE ME ***,
Poem.

And he says.

**This is not a love song.

This is a  
We haven't even been together that long
  And
I wish I could hit you instead of this ****
  And
Stop telling me, to stop telling you, to stop telling me, that I do you so wrong...
Song.

This is not a love song,

This is a,
Can you shut the **** up and quit all the crying,
And be appreciative that a *****'s even trying,
Every time I "**** up" you wanna pack your **** and run away,
Just to complain to your  homegirls all day,
Acting like I'm treating you so wrong, because you go through my phone,
and see a picture of an *** in a thong,

So you should thank god, instead of hitting you I hit this ****.

And I'll thank God, that this is not a love song.

Glances are all I get.
Glances are how I speak to you.
Do you get it?

A glance. one.

One look to ask a million questions.
"Do you know I like you?"
"Do you care?"
"How do you like my hair, curly or straight?"
"Do you think I'm ugly?"
"Do you think I'm pretty?"
"How long are you going to make me wait?"

All in a glance, just one.

I pass you in the halls and when I open my mouth to speak my brain stalls, so I just look. So I turn back around and pretend like I need my theory book, so I can ask you something, but I catch your eyes and again, I'm shook.

And I'm stuck with a glance. Just one.

"Do you have a girl?"
"What kinds of things do you like?"
"Did I rub you the wrong way?"
"Are you not interested?"
"If so, then what's you're type, who is she?"
"...Why are you doing this to me?"

I just need you to read my mind so, I can have peace of mind, and not have to wonder what if. The worst you could say is no. But its still not what I'm trying to hear. Because I don't want to see you in a year and wonder....What if.

So I'll wait for Monday, and then from Monday to Thursday, and from Thursday to Friday, and from Friday to Monday, and from 9:00 to 4:00.

So this time I'll speak up
But I hope you don't creep up
And catch me off guard
And leave me with more questions
And another glance.

Just one.

"How was your day?"
"Can I meet you at ten?"
"Where do you want to eat?"
" Can we go back to your place?"
"What's your Netflix password?"
"What do you want to watch?"
"Eew, you like this show?"
"You know I'm not paying attention, right?"
"You know I'm attracted to you, right."
"Kiss me again."
"**** me."

Just read my mind and make this easier.

4:53
Seven minutes left.

I always look to left, and wait seconds to look into your eyes.  And I'm not into most guys.

Will you ever know it.

I'm here till Five.
And I really wanna catch your eye.
Three seconds only.
When I'm passing you by.
And I stand here solely,
So our eyes can hit.

But will you ever know it.

Zero hints taken,
And I'm thinking,
"Do you think I'm pretty,
Do you know I'm creeping,
Do I weird you out,
....Are you thinking what I'm thinking."

Will I ever know it.

Six days in half a month.
With Seven minutes to plant my seed.
And out of all of these gorgeous faces.
Will mines ever be the one you need to see.
Before I clock out.
Please don't let us miss out.
This could be a good thing.

Will we ever know it.

On Monday I'm excited to spy.
On Wednesday I'm hoping it's the time.
And by Friday I'm angry because you let my chance slide by.

But I'm too shy to let you know it.  

And now its 5:01.
I waited an extra minute this time, for you, I waited Eight. I'm hoping you're hoping it's not too late.  Because one day it will be and that would be a shame.

Because you still don't know my name...

...Will you ever know.

4:53
Seven minutes left.

I always look to left, and wait seconds to look into your eyes.  And I'm not into most guys.

Will you ever know it.

I'm here till Five.
And I really wanna catch your eye.
Three seconds only.
When I'm passing you by.
And I stand here solely,
So our eyes can hit.

But will you ever know it.

Zero hints taken,
And I'm thinking,
"Do you think I'm pretty,
Do you know I'm creeping,
Do I weird you out,
....Are you thinking what I'm thinking."

Will I ever know it.

Six days in half a month.
With Seven minutes to plant my seed.
And out of all of these gorgeous faces.
Will mines ever be the one you need to see.
Before I clock out.
Please don't let us miss out.
This could be a good thing.

Will we ever know it.

On Monday I'm excited to spy.
On Wednesday I'm hoping it's the time.
And by Friday I'm angry because you let my chance slide by.

But I'm too shy to let you know it.  

And now its 5:01.
I waited an extra minute this time, for you, I waited Eight. I'm hoping you're hoping it's not too late.  Because one day it will be and that would be a shame.

Because you still don't know my name...

...Will you ever know.

No Justice. No Peace.
We're killed for jaywalking,
But are expected to remain at ease.

We're seen as looters.
When terrorists are heroes.
And never unjust shooters.

They "protect and serve."
They protect each other.
Whether its inhumane doesn't matter.
Then they serve morgues...
with young black bodies on shiny silver platters.

They don't want to hear us.
So we're told to remain peaceful because it's easier to ignore a sound that isn't being made.

And if we remain quiet the passion for wrong doings will begin to fade.

Black people are ashamed of each other for rioting in their own community. But it doesn't belong to us.  So feel free to burn down gas stations and break the windows out of a Toys"R"Us.

We'll be executed in suits. We'll be executed in sweats. We'll be executed when we're armed and We'll be executed when we pose no threat.

So scream if you have to.
Let it all out.
Fight fire with fire.
It will grow, and eventually someone will put it out.

Because remaining peaceful has gotten us nowhere.

When we're peaceful they don't care. They torment us. And we're mocked. And are attacked with tear gas while rubber and wooden bullets are being shot.

So don't shoot. But when you need to. Shoot back.
I want us to be able to raise children who won't be murdered for being big while black.

And it isn't in the U.S.A.
Where Unjust Shootings are Admissible.
And Uniformed Shooters are Admired.

So fight back. Even though we're already so tired.

No Justice. No Peace.
We're killed for jaywalking,
But are expected to remain at ease.

We're seen as looters.
When terrorists are heroes.
And never unjust shooters.

They "protect and serve."
They protect each other.
Whether its inhumane doesn't matter.
Then they serve morgues...
with young black bodies on shiny silver platters.

They don't want to hear us.
So we're told to remain peaceful because it's easier to ignore a sound that isn't being made.

And if we remain quiet the passion for wrong doings will begin to fade.

Black people are ashamed of each other for rioting in their own community. But it doesn't belong to us.  So feel free to burn down gas stations and break the windows out of a Toys"R"Us.

We'll be executed in suits. We'll be executed in sweats. We'll be executed when we're armed and We'll be executed when we pose no threat.

So scream if you have to.
Let it all out.
Fight fire with fire.
It will grow, and eventually someone will put it out.

Because remaining peaceful has gotten us nowhere.

When we're peaceful they don't care. They torment us. And we're mocked. And are attacked with tear gas while rubber and wooden bullets are being shot.

So don't shoot. But when you need to. Shoot back.
I want us to be able to raise children who won't be murdered for being big while black.

And it isn't in the U.S.A.
Where Unjust Shootings are Admissible.
And Uniformed Shooters are Admired.

So fight back. Even though we're already so tired.

No Justice. No Peace.
We're killed for jaywalking,
But are expected to remain at ease.

We're seen as looters.
When terrorists are heroes.
And never unjust shooters.

They "protect and serve."
They protect each other.
Whether its inhumane doesn't matter.
Then they serve morgues...
with young black bodies on shiny silver platters.

They don't want to hear us.
So we're told to remain peaceful because it's easier to ignore a sound that isn't being made.

And if we remain quiet the passion for wrong doings will begin to fade.

Black people are ashamed of each other for rioting in their own community. But it doesn't belong to us.  So feel free to burn down gas stations and break the windows out of a Toys"R"Us.

We'll be executed in suits. We'll be executed in sweats. We'll be executed when we're armed and We'll be executed when we pose no threat.

So scream if you have to.
Let it all out.
Fight fire with fire.
It will grow, and eventually someone will put it out.

Because remaining peaceful has gotten us nowhere.

When we're peaceful they don't care. They torment us. And we're mocked. And are attacked with tear gas while rubber and wooden bullets are being shot.

So don't shoot. But when you need to. Shoot back.
I want us to be able to raise children who won't be murdered for being big while black.

And it isn't in the U.S.A.
Where Unjust Shootings are Admissible.
And Uniformed Shooters are Admired.

So fight back. Even though we're already so tired.

No Justice. No Peace.
We're killed for jaywalking,
But are expected to remain at ease.

We're seen as looters.
When terrorists are heroes.
And never unjust shooters.

They "protect and serve."
They protect each other.
Whether its inhumane doesn't matter.
Then they serve morgues...
with young black bodies on shiny silver platters.

They don't want to hear us.
So we're told to remain peaceful because it's easier to ignore a sound that isn't being made.

And if we remain quiet the passion for wrong doings will begin to fade.

Black people are ashamed of each other for rioting in their own community. But it doesn't belong to us.  So feel free to burn down gas stations and break the windows out of a Toys"R"Us.

We'll be executed in suits. We'll be executed in sweats. We'll be executed when we're armed and We'll be executed when we pose no threat.

So scream if you have to.
Let it all out.
Fight fire with fire.
It will grow, and eventually someone will put it out.

Because remaining peaceful has gotten us nowhere.

When we're peaceful they don't care. They torment us. And we're mocked. And are attacked with tear gas while rubber and wooden bullets are being shot.

So don't shoot. But when you need to. Shoot back.
I want us to be able to raise children who won't be murdered for being big while black.

And it isn't in the U.S.A.
Where Unjust Shootings are Admissible.
And Uniformed Shooters are Admired.

So fight back. Even though we're already so tired.

Gather 'round, gather around.
The music plays as we stare at the magician. All cloaked in red, in honor of their traditions.

Styled by the mortician, we're all gathered around because of her magic tricks.

She can make herself disappear.

So step right up...step right up. Take a look and take a seat. The crowd whispers and whimpers and we're broken by the sound of her mother's weep.

And at exactly one o'clock she'll make herself ashes...by kicking the chair from underneath her feet.

Voilà
...Houdini.

Too beautiful to be ashes.  

I felt jealous. I placed a flower in your casket and wept.

You had the courage to finish and they say those who do so are weak. But they don't understand how it feels to have a rope around your neck and a chair under your feet.

I admire you, but I wish you wouldn't have done it. But I understand how you needed to end your pain because it multiples the more you covet.

Your smile was a painting but I saw the pain in your eyes. And it's okay, Mona Lisa...I understand the pain you've disguised.

I know you didn't mean for us to hurt you just needed to end yours, but now  I'll always be afraid of what's behind silent doors...Mona Lisa.

No words. "Hang in there."
No words. Hanging there...

...Mona Lisa.

If I'm unlucky enough, I'll be lucky enough to see you in a little while.

Until then...smile, Mona Lisa.

Smile.

It doesn't rain in Southern California.

I told you.

Bold you, somehow make me.

The taste of your tongue breaks the dam and I know you love the flood, because we're in love and we never use gloves.

Then you deep sea dive, claw into my thighs and I can't not look into your eyes.....uuhhmmn.

When I get closer my back will arch some, and I levitate when the light creeps over the horizon.  

You slip inside of me and we settle our differences, and the difference is this feeling we share. I whine and grip in between stares and it hurts too good so you kiss me when I glare.  

And I'm feeling it starting to rise, you do too.

So you go harder.

And faster.

And harder.

And faster.

Hurts so good. You ******* *******.

So now we're both soaking wet.

I just....

Didn't know it could rain in Southern California.

I can't be with you, I feel like I'm.

Fasting.

Are you.

Hungry.

Because I'm starving.

Myself...

I can't be with you.

And it feels like I'm...

I cheat and you cheat but it's never the same. We're too much alike so it's all fair game. I cheat because I'm needy and you cheat because you're greedy. I'm not gonna want you....when you act like you don't need me.

I'll go through your phone or it'll fall in my lap. I don't say anything for a week then it builds up and I snap. You find out I found out and you look like you wanna die. I lower my voice. "Who is she? How many times and please don't lie." You grab me by the waist as I look in your eyes. You start to apologize and I start to cry.

I can't be mad. But it hurts so bad...because no one will ever love you as much as I do.

But I can't be mad. And it's hurting so bad...because no one could ever treat you worse than I do.

You're lying to me saying that she only ****** your ****. The anger is festering inside me and it's literally making me sick. I run to the bathroom and I throw up. Because I'm tired of this...and I wish that you would grow up.

Your concerned act is deceiving. I know you'll do it again and you know I'm not leaving. But I don't kick you out because I want you to feel bad. Lay next to me while I silently cry for the rest of the evening.

It hurts so bad and it makes me so mad...because no one will ever love you as much as I do.

But it makes me so sad and I feel so bad....because you don't know all of the things that I do.

Spur of the moment. You popped up on me tonight. You let your money talk and your tips cried, "I miss you." I tried to keep my guard up and it was hard for me to not kiss you. No matter what you'd do, it would be hard for me to diss you. And I couldn't help but to tell you to come to my place around the time the sun rises, knowing this would pose an issue......Spur of the moment.

I stepped out the shower and fell into your arms, so much passion because I can feel his heart ache. You ripped off my towel and fondled my body as my softly planted kisses charmed your snake. And I notice you like to grip onto my hips. I got annoyed and shoved you on my bed because I was anxious to taste your ****. You almost finished so you made me stop. But when you went down on me......I felt a rush of shame and pleasure as I felt God frown on me.

I'm good for no one. I'm too ******* weak. This is the second time I've cheated this week. I shouldn't have ****** you. Because I keep hurting someone who I claim to love. Writing this as my eyes swell up with sadness and the tears are flying like doves. Trying to silently weep, because you're next to me peacefully asleep....in my satin sheets. And another tear for being shady. I'm supposed to be having his baby. And another tear drops....because I know when I see him I'll kiss him in the mouth. With the same mouth I used to **** and *******. And he'll never know. And another tear because this is twice in a row. It was me just being a ***. Almost premeditated, so it wasn't so......spur of the moment.

Breakup for the makeup, the *** is is poetry within itself. Loving you is bad for me...it's bad for my self esteem, and it's bad for my health. I feel bad when I see how I make you so weak...to see a grown man tear up, and do crazy **** without stopping to think. You love the curve off my hips, the scent of my hair and my soft full lips. The birthmark on my wrist, and the one on my ribs which you never miss to kiss. The tone of my voice when I'm grilling you, the sparkle in my eye....when you recognize just how much I'm feeling you. It hurts me every time when you doubt how much I love you, because you're not the only one strokin'.....but you're the only one I make love to.

And the passionate kisses tell it all. I got up from your lap and slid off your pants, then ripped down your draws. I worked my way down and started slowly, deep throated your love as I played with your.....You ripped me up by my hair so I can tell you're still mad, then you bent me over and slapped my ***, as hard as you could, and then you put him in me and I gripped every inch of your manhood. And you know I can't take it. Your nails dug into my sides, and thrusted so hard thinking I'd run...but you know I can take it. We switched then I started to ride, the anger in your eyes became harder for you to hide. Repeating your insults to you "I'm a *****, I'm a *** and I'm so ******* selfish." And I gripped on your neck, just as I felt your legs clam like shellfish. Fast and slow, I like watching your face, so I switch up the pace...and ride fast then slow. "I love you." Now I got you, not a second too early, not a second too late. You flipped me on my stomach and I felt all your weight. You started to pant extra hard and I told you to wait. I wasn't done, you pushed my face into the pillow as I felt you ***. Couldn't bring yourself to pull out.....fin.

But we know how your men swim. And I'm not on birth control so let's pray that I don't get pregnant again.

I'm so embarrassed for you, I just don't know what to say. But I'm sorry I sleep in every morning and I don't have to punch a clock everyday. I'm sorry you get home from work and you take off your kitten heels......and you're stressed out because you work 40 hours and he's gone and won't pay the bills. I'm sorry you thought about it but you were too weak. I'm sorry I make in a few hours what you make in a week. I'm sorry you're older, but we all have our time. And I'm sorry the height of your day is your nightly glass of wine. I'm sorry I gave a regular my number to tell him when to come in and tip, I've never seen him outside of work so I suggest you get a grip. I'm sorry but we both know the reason you call my phone isn't because of what I do. I'm sorry I'm not the reason you're separated, and I'm not the reason he's divorcing you.

They smell your scent in my covers, because you're here almost every night. You get off, roll up and smoke in the kitchen and I let you get off because you're hitting it right. We've been through way too much Jayy, we **** and we fight, every other day, we **** and we fight. And I let you get off because you're hitting it right. And I guess I love you because I'm young and I have no sense, and you know exactly what to say to **** me off and make me really tense. Way in love at your family reunion and I bet they can't tell that you beat my ***. And I let you slide because I love you and you're the only one I let stick it in my....You're not the only one, but you're the only one and I don't know if it upsets you because I'm supposed to be pregnant with your only son. You're not the only one...so we fight. You ain't the only one that's ******* me right. You aren't the only one paying these bills and moaning and groaning 'cause this ***** is tight. So we fight. And we fight. And we fight. Because you're the only one that loves me but I know we ain't doing this right.

They smell your scent in my covers, Jayy. And I can't get it out quite right. No matter how many times I clean my sheets. I can't seem to wash you out of my life

You're a trifling ******* excuse for a woman……

Mommy Dearest

Don't play the role now, where were you when you were needed, when you left me around whoever and I wanted to go with you, when I begged and pleaded.

Mommy Dearest

You turned your head when you knew....I was in the other room, being molested. And of course it's nothing new, that you played dumb and never confessed it

Mommy Dearest

A high was more important, assisted with your cruel insensitive nature. Shady willow tree in the summer, cold as the arctic glaciers.

Mommy Dearest

As far as I'm concerned we know I raised myself. So think of me as dead and expect nothing on the 12th……

.....Mommy Dearest

The conflicts of my "morals" and the switch of my beliefs. Why should I be in the hot seat if a "taken" man wants to cheat. I'm not married so calling me dawns the denial of your defeat. I'm not trying to break up a "happy home" you could leave……but you choose to accept it. I'm sorry I'm not concerned that you're aged and you feel neglected. Go ahead and think I'm *******.…but if I have his card who am I to not charge it. Put a leash on your husband and stop blowing up my phone, maybe you should creep and you wouldn't feel so alone. Does it make me a bad person if I don't really care. I'm not you and I'm not stressing out my hair. He goes out of his way....to pop up at my club when you're sleep so what does this say. You can trust that I don't seriously want him, makes no sense when I can see how he treats you. Just please shutup, walk away....or let it defeat you.

I wish you'd leave me alone, I hate you and PLEASE stop popping up when you know nobody's home. I'm not your girl, I'm very much grown. Just please…go on. But I can't leave you, and I can only fight my heart's desires for so long

Because you are the death of me.

"Where you at!!? I'm coming to you." Then you kick and bang on the door. "I just wanna talk." And of course I let you in. "C'mon, Yazz. Let's just go on a walk."Thinking to myself...if he slaps me around again I've seen it coming, definitely.  

Because you are the death of me.

Two a.m, threw on some pants and a hoodie. You start to breathe hard and I see your woody. Tried to ignore, but you pressed it into me as I slid ouy the door. "Let's just go back inside if that's all you came here for."
"Nahh Ima chill, we can't no more you would've been like what, four……months."

My eyes start to water and then my shoulder's slump. If you would've pulled out before that last pump……you wouldn't be rubbing the nonexistent baby bump.

You wiped my tears then started rubbing my ears. Put my head in your chest as we hugged. And talked. And for a moment I enjoy being stalked.

Because you are the death of me.

Wondering what you would've looked like

Wondering what your voice would've sounded like

Would you be a gift to the world or a burden to society

Either way I love you.  

Would you be tall or short

Would you be his or his

Would you be my baby boy or my baby girl

Either way I love you.  

Would you be two, twins maybe.

Wondering if your daddy would've left us

And would you have issues like me in 18 years

Either way I love you.

If I wouldn't have aborted you, maybe you'd love me

Maybe I wouldn't hate myself

Maybe you'd say, "Mommy don't cry"and sing me a lullaby

Maybe things would've worked out

Maybe

Either way…… I love you.

No telling me you don't pick up on my energy, you feel me doing good and find some way to **** up my day.

I get in the groove of life, you cross my mind…then my phone rings and I pick up to a dead silence and then you say;

"Say the word, and I'll give you the world……baby you know I'll do anything for you. Just please stay. I know you miss me I can feel it from here. You can pretend you don't love me, that's fine. Just let these ****** know, deny it all you want but that ***** is mine."

My heart beats fast, and faster, and faster, and faster. You always knew how to get me, you always know that you got me……******* *******.  

You know that I love you, you know that I need you. You know that I feel you and you know that I see you.  

Since the last time we spoke it's been almost a month, exact, to date. But let's see how you react, when I tell you………that. I'm late.

Empty

Married men on the brink of divorce.

Girls in relationships.

Contrary to popular belief,

Wanting to be home.

Regular, came in for his two dances.

God how'd I end up working tonight.

Hey look! An older couple,

Trying to "spice it up,"

Well, if it isn't awkward for you

I guess

Valentine's Day Dances

Why not just dinner for two?

Love,

Your potential,

I fall in love with potential,

What we could be,

Not what we are,

Making wishes,

On a fluke of a star,

Love,

Your potential,

I'm sorry I couldn't commit,

To who you really are,

I love your potential,

And whom you could one day be,

But you and me,

Sadly mistaken for love,

Fool's Gold,

I'm sorry,

Fools in love,

I'm sorry,

I'm sorry,

I'm sorry,

Fool's Gold,


I'm sorry.

"Come on baby……just half a line."
I was only gonna do it once, only once, only once...and that was the only time. I said that for months, four months that I lied. I tried, I tried....to say no but those eyes, his lips, and his grin, put his pinkie to my nose and I took one deep inhale in. Just like that, 21 hooked on the new black, by my lover then ****…had me in the clubs and 3 weekdays on the track. Young *** in love, and who else had my back. Dead fam and no friends, so it was...just that. He tried to work me in a ******* when I spat in his face  amd that was the first time I told him no, and the last time I seen him, he broke my nose and I walked to the E.R still filled with his *****. I couldn't use for weeks, it took a month of working nights and sleeping in shelters to get on my feet. And I'm still in love with Snow White, I'll quit one day, I'm sure I'll be alright.

But For Now:
My name is Amiya,
Stage name Jazlaine,
Your husband's favorite stripper,
And I'm addicted to *******.

"Just the tip. Just the tip." Initiation. Fourteen years old, fourteen year olds don't know the just the tip trick. It hurt like hell but the sound of his panting was well...worth it. Just the tip, then just the shaft. Just a lick, what a champ…the other half. Gigi was born, de-flowered then flourished. Naughty by nature. Fed and *** nourished. What a **** I was, what a ***** I am.…just slap my ***, grab me and pull me in. Choke me, bite me...squeeze, pull my hair, look me in the eyes, cuff me to a chair. Quiet ones you have to watch. I moan louder than I talk, nice rock in my hips....do me real good and I'll wobble when I walk. The club is my home, but not where I belong. Under my hijaab they can't see my laced thong. Taught to cater to the men and serve them martinis. Not dance ***** naked in heels and bikinis. Allahu Akbar. Don't let my family find out. Allahu Akbar. They'll **** me. Allahu Akbar. But if they do. Allahu Akbar. I'm still me.

My name is Neha,
Stage name GiGi however so complex, Stripper in silence,
And I'm strung out on ***.

"Come on baby……just half a line."
I was only gonna do it once, only once, only once...and that was the only time. I said that for months, four months that I lied. I tried, I tried....to say no but those eyes, his lips, and his grin, put his pinkie to my nose and I took one deep inhale in. Just like that, 21 hooked on the new black, by my lover then ****…had me in the clubs and 3 weekdays on the track. Young *** in love, and who else had my back. Dead fam and no friends, so it was...just that. He tried to work me in a ******* when I spat in his face  amd that was the first time I told him no, and the last time I seen him, he broke my nose and I walked to the E.R still filled with his *****. I couldn't use for weeks, it took a month of working nights and sleeping in shelters to get on my feet. And I'm still in love with Snow White, I'll quit one day, I'm sure I'll be alright.

But For Now:
My name is Amiya,
Stage name Jazlaine,
Your husband's favorite stripper,
And I'm addicted to *******.

See the show is over, behind the red curtain you can't see me cutting up my fingers using my blood and tears to pick up what's left of my heart. We're done, been done…we were over before we could start. Some ***** you are....some *****, filthy, manipulative, sneaky, overbearing, cold hearted, insensitive, ***** of a ***** you are. Some ***** you are….some charming, loveable, selfless, funny, intelligent, creative, artistic, handsome, good **** slangin'……perfect man you are. Prince Charming, you used your sword, on the one you for swore, that you'd love me till and beyond the day that I'm dead. Unfortunate mistakings……burn me at the stake, but first it's off with my head. Charming and flirtatious, so easy to fall in love……but it's being so charming and flirtatious that's got me trying on OJ's gloves. I'm the witch and you're the townspeople secretly fascinated but you'll never say. I'm still in love with you, let's just swallow our pride and give each other's the time of day. I'm still your weakness, you believe I'm that gullible and I don't know at all……because I stuck my pin through your Voodoo corpse right in the heart, and then you gave me a call. I heard the sorrow in your voice and I know you sensed my tears, with the so unslick cracks in my voice and sniffles flooding your ears. I'm yours, and you're mine, last time I said it was the last time……but you're the love of my life and even if we're not together that'll last a lifetime.

In & Out
We keep going back and forth,
And I keep on falling in and out
Of love...with you.


Whiplash love.


One day I love you
And the next you're ****
You have my heart and all of my love
....Bet tomorrow you'll have none


Whiplash Love.



You told me you missed me
Then I cried myself to sleep
The next night you came over
.....I made dinner for you
You made love to me......
Then massaged my feet
And I woke up around three
And I went through your phone.



"I left my charger on the side of your bed Jayy, what time you gone be home?



And the saga continues…

And the saga continues…

And the saga continues…




Whiplash love, and the saga continues.

Poised and posed caressing her fro of curls, dwelled in the overhead whispers of, "Is she a model?" She's a figure 8 without ice skates, shaped like a Coke bottle.  She's about 23 with 'death' stamped on her medical history, the tall dark man watches her from across the bar and assumes to un-clue her mysteries. Talks for an hour and she's not taken by his charm, she stalks and lurks in her demented thoughts...it's his type she sets out to harm. She uses her pink matter as a weapon, though men don't realize it's disguise. She follows him home and nails his coffin, her sick intentions burn deep into his eyes. He thinks it's seduction, passion, and is deep love to go raw on the first day, but his life from now on is a ticking time bomb....because she never mentioned that she has full blown A.I.D.S.

Daddy's drinking the stinky water again, it makes him angry...mommy tiptoes around when it makes him act strangely. She makes me hide in closets but I just wanna play with my dolls, But I think my daddy likes them because it makes a poke in his draws. I think I have a brother I know it my mommy had a baby, but daddy only wanted me so they gave her to this strange lady. I miss my little brother, I wonder if he does too, I wonder if his daddy makes and watches him if he ties his own shoes. I don't think my mommy likes play fighting with daddy sometimes she bleeds and gets bruises, and daddy leaves with his pretty lady friend I think they go on fun cruises. And my daddy comes back and drinks the nasty dark soda, and tells me how much fun we're gonna have when I get a little older. I don't like when my mommy has to go to work sometimes daddy makes me sit on his lap and I have to smell his stinky beard.....And I cry when he touches my girl parts, I hate it and it feels weird.

Chereè, Chereè...Her mommy cried and warned her to be careful, 3 months ago she left home for L.A in hopes for becoming a star. Five foot five, dark green eyes, skin complexion as a beige princess, at a pool party in the hills she met the producer to both whoms sparked interest. She had a voice of gold, a personality so bold, and he had the fill to her mold. So she thought, So she was told, Chereè was gullible a young 19 years old. She moved in with Jazzy, fell in love with him, and his savvy, way of making her feel so **** and strong. For three months he lead her on, head and *** every other night and she never recorded one song. Then he came to her and asking, "Baby do love me…Baby do you care." Thirty minutes after she finished her makeup and hair, they stared into each others eyes, he gave her a tender kiss as he caressed her thighs. "I love you girl, and I always will." As she strapped her heels, he uttered a comment about how love doesn't pay the bills. North Hollywood, for weeks the pay was good, until the night she climbed in the SUV. "What's your name sweetheart." "Whatever you want it to be." She hopped in the truck, and he had something tucked, he turned and flashed L.A.P.D. Just do me this one, and I'll let you go…and she prayed to just get back on the stroll. They went in the back seat, the ***** cop was a freak, he used his cuffs to tie up her hands and feet. She waited till he was weak, he came and then she beat, her elbows into his head and felt for the keys under the seat. He whipped out an 8 inch blade and slit her throat. He kept stabbing, and he ever choked her.....looked at the body, and rolled it over, took his cuffs and gave her a soft kiss on the shoulder, he wiped tears and blood from his face with her thong, because he told her……that'd he let her go. He dumped Chereè on the side of the road, and took off for his Beverly Hills home.………And her mother told her to be careful.