You gave so much to me,
And I, .....nothing to you.
And so today, I guess the pain,
Inflicts right where it's due :(

Whose number one will I ever be?
I'm always number two or three.
But I share my number one,
With everybody, everyone!
But recently I've come to see,
That my number one is me.
And you and you and you and you,
Are now priority number two.

I feel it but their only loss, for society to cast me out.
For failure to follow guidelines set, by one who is without.
For it is but a shameful sight, to live, yet not be free.
Bound by a common prudence, is naught but tragedy.
What mine eyes take pleasure in, I will see, and see again.
And blinded be sad, the rest of men, to deny and call it sin.
And touch I will, repeatedly, the softest of all places,
While all the other's scrutinize, with disapproving faces.
And I will trespass, forbidden land; with fruits for my partaking.
And find the taste irresistible, despite society's forsaking.
And eat I will, until fill is full, then wipe my mouth in glee.
While stands 'round a miserable crowd, desiring to be me.
And if I love another, and yet another, and another more.
Won't I just be pleased and sated, more than I was before?
I find it but a blessing, that my heart can expand... to place,
Inspiration and diversity, into such tiny bits of space.
And I will not beg pardon, from thy judgemental hand.
But rather, offer pity to those, who will never understand.

You didn't follow
That line in my soul
Did it bore you I wonder?
The wholeness of another.
Did you recognize the value
Of a spirit allowing access
And opt out?
Or were you plagued by the blindness
That affects most men?
No matter
No difference
The coupon expired
The public offering closed
And the loss is yours

It feels like coming home.
An inner warmth when I enter.
The smells of comfort food.
Like another world, another's life.
A day without agenda.
Glutton without remorse.
Robe and slippers and cocoa.
A crackling fire.
A swollen heart.
All is right.
You feel like coming home.

I know it hurts you to see me cry
and I'm sure you know the reason why.
So why do you ask me, even though,
The cause of my pain, you already know.

Please stop all this pretending , Dad,
We both know you are also sad.
I wish some tears would fall from you,
So I'd feel like mine are ok too.

And we could sit and sob together,
And not feel so far apart.
Our grief could just be split in half,
We'd share a broken heart.

You don't need to be strong for me,
It's your weaker side I need to see.
So let's mourn Mom together tonight,
So that me and you, Dad can be alright.

I curse the body
That wont die timely
The body that outlives hope

Sleep now while you are able
Dawn hits hard