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deanena tierney Feb 2011
When my heart ceases to beat,
So that I have not lived in vain,
While my whole's no longer here,
I pray some pieces will remain.
In the smile of my daughter,
When she sees a rustic swing,
And the humor of my only son,
And the hope that it can bring.
In laughter of shared memories,
Of all those who really knew,
Just what I truly believed in,
And just what faith can do.
In all the lessons, even hard-learned,
The reward of giving, and of love,
The peace of daffodils I so admire,
The healing power from above.
In tears that are cried , shameless,
With a courage to endure it all,
In the books which I so cherished,
In old photos on the wall.
In the honor of a priceless ring,
And a renewing field of green,
The fruits of a long ago planted tree,
That yields the sweetest tangerine.
In the promise things can always change,
And the possibility to start again,
In every new dawn that now is counted,
As a new story that may begin.
In the hearts, minds, and souls of those,
With the beauty of passion delayed,
The taming of needless restlessness,
And forgiveness of those who betrayed.
In an old and tattered bible,
That was neglected for too long,
That always held the only way,
To make right of any wrong.
In every dream held with iron grip,
And each October's healing wind,
Knowing that things don't have to break,
But that they must, and always,.... bend.
Oh, yes! I hope to leave behind,
Some truth's, that life, to me, has shown,
For those I never had the chance to meet,
And to those I've called my own.
deanena tierney Oct 2010
My dear friend...I have missed you so.
And today...emptiness arrived.
Strange how a heart grows stronger,
When it is deprived.

Avoidance can not quench desire,
Or smolder a burning flame,
It only urges the yearning for more,
And more and more of the same.
It is heaven.
Crickets
Peace
Breath
Smiles
Warmth
Weightless
But that one wormhole to hell
Remains
deanena tierney Jan 2011
I guess I'll just wait in baggage claim forever,
But you know what? That's okay.
I've been guessing which bag belongs to who,
For the better part of the day.
And I am matching them most effortlessly,
Most people are easily read,
"The khaki bag with the khaki pants",
Goes the dialogue in my head.
It's a game I have found, helps pass the time,
Makes my mood a bit more light,
While I stand with my thumb, you know where,
Expecting a cancelled flight.
Baggage claim is more lonely than I expected..
deanena tierney Jul 2010
"What can I do for you, Baby?"
" Nothing," I always say.
But couldn't you just get in your car,
And come over anyway?

Texts are great, don't get me wrong.
But can't replace the spoken word.
My whole world fell apart this week,
Is offering a hug just too absurd?

Every time my times get tough,
You offer me some "space."
Is it too much for you to handle,
My problems in your face?

I know your world is calm and cool,
And you must like it that way.
Because when I need to talk to you,
You seem to have nothing to say.

So I will reserve you for my days,
When chaos is on break.
And find another for the times,
Trouble is on the make!
deanena tierney Nov 2011
Truth needs not be embellished,
Nor decorated, nor placed in ornate field,
For it is beauty of itself,
Whether hidden or revealed.
It promises no virtue,
It promises no glee,
But by it's very nature,
It is just as it should be.
While flattery leads to common,
And pretense takes it's care ,
Truth becomes more valuable ,
Because it is more rare.
I'd deafen my ears forever,
To a hundred praises heard ,
For just a minute hint of truth,
In a simple honest word.
Truth needs not be embellished,
Nor decorated, nor placed in ornate field,
For it is beauty of itself,
Whether hidden or revealed.
deanena tierney Oct 2010
Tell me do you still behold my face,
The same way that you did before?
When the distance didn't seem as far,
And things weren't so unsure.

Or, has the passed time changed your heart,
And tempered desire for me,
Has your passion numbed, eyes grown dim?
Tell me what you still see.

Do you still see the same youthful soul,
That matched yours in hope-sprung way?
Do I remain fixed in your vision?
Things are changing every day.

Still, all but one has been altered,
Eroded by time's unyielding might.
Spare truth, who makes no bargains,
Enduring time;  unveiling right.

If destiny's course is advance set,
Not even time itself can place,
Deception in the eye of the soul,
That truth will not erase.
deanena tierney Jul 2010
I seem to sit alone a lot,
And internalize.
Immune to all the events that are,
Right before my eyes.

Is it choice that makes me,
Not give even a care.
I am my own companion,
I am always there.

Others' miseries, they don't phase me.
Yet neither do my own,
I just accept whatever comes..as is,
And reap what I have sown.

What a great ability,
To turn reaction to naught,
Before I remember to forget,
It's already forgot.
deanena tierney Jan 2011
The glare of the monitor is a bit much tonight.
I turn it a shade down, though the button is hard to find in the dark.
I left my lap tray with the book light in the dining room and it's too dark to go looking for it now.
I shouldn't even be on here.
It's way late and I am way tired.
Unfortunately, loneliness causes awesome insomnia.
So I got on here to maybe find some company, but so far that hasn't happened.
So I am writing in the dark, struggling to find the keys, and writing this scribble, which is taking twice as long as it should.
You would think the screen lights would illuminate the keyboard a bit but somehow it doesn't work like that.
I can't understand why I feel like I could use a pair of Ray-bans right now but I can't see a **** thing.
Anyway going to shut her down now and lie awake in the dark some more.
I really hate being alone.
deanena tierney Feb 2012
The music started softly,
As if every note designed,
To un-tang-le the twisted web,
Embedded in my mind.
'Til my heart,.. alone, remained,
A single strand,...and the song,
Bursting forth with every key,
While the tempo urged it on.
A sweet mel-o-dy,... to clear a path,
From your eyes to mine;... a glance.
Rhythm matching outstretched hand,
As our souls began to dance.
The warmth of you was all I felt,
My essence,... your eyes caressed,
Spirits swaying shamelessly,
As naked as undressed.
A perfect orchestration,
Pre-destined for so long,
Twas' never a sweeter ballad heard,
Than the one where I belong.
deanena tierney Aug 2010
Can I be the spark
That doth ignite your flame?
The prompting of your pen,
To express us both the same.

The quill and talent yours.
May the catalyst be me.
Separated, intertwined,
One product.........poetry.
Special thanks to A. Thomas Hawkins...a great mind...for his assistance with tweaking this poem for the better.
deanena tierney Jul 2011
Well it's certainly been an interesting day.
Oh! so many words that I could say!
Explicatives said with zest.
The four letter ones are the best!
deanena tierney Apr 2010
Am I allowed to waste my day?
Who gives permission anyway?
Can I skip all of the daily grind?
Wonder just what I might find.

A curtained room with little light,
A longing for day to turn to night.
A phone shut off and a locked door,
Six loads of laundry piled on floor.

Dishes overflowing the kitchen sink,
They can stay there, I know they stink.
Unmowed grass out on the lawn,
Fridge all empty cause food's all gone.

Knots from my sleep still in my hair,
Neglected boat just begging for care.
Unfinished deck, and bathroom a mess.
Today, to be honest, I could care less.

Am I allowed to waste my day?
Who gives permission anyway?
I can decide to skip todays' daily grind!
But what a mess in the a.m. I'm gonna find.
It's an upside down world I live in now
Nothing is quite right
deanena tierney Jan 2011
Go ahead and push on me,
Give it your very best.
Push me until I have to bend
In your crazy little test.

But know that I am flexible,
Cos' I've been bent before.
Just when you think I'll crumble,
I will bend a wee bit more.

You've finally met your match, life,
There's no pressure I can't take.
So go right ahead and push on me,
         I will bend...I will not break.
Thanks to a dear friend for assistance with this one! :)
deanena tierney Apr 2010
It seems that I awoke one day,
To a life I did not recognize.
And plodded forward anyway,
With desperate, frightened eyes.

To view the world afresh; anew,
With shaking hands and fear.
Strangers plenty and friends few,
No familiar hand to wipe a tear.

And teaching myself I trudged on,
Making all too often a mistake,
Until all my belief in me was gone,
And I had made my own heart break.

I had turned away those who were true,
Assumed they had a dark, hidden side.
And as in my past life, I trusted very few,
No one knows me because of my pride.

I could venture out and nomad roam,
And struggle for truth, not to falter,
But know I would still not find a home,
For my faithlessness just will not alter.
deanena tierney Mar 2014
I suppose you will never know...
Just how many tears that I cry,
When I sit and recollect the years,
That we have shared, just u and I.
Or how many regrets that I carry,
That seem to get heavier every day,
From knowing that I can't go back;
That what we had has gone away.
And I suppose you'll never know,
Just how much I loved you before,
And knowing that you'll never know,
Makes me love you that much more.
deanena tierney Apr 2012
Until I knew a great love,
I did not know there was a difference,
A difference of degrees,
Proportioned to the layers,
Of the soul.
This great love,
I know it rightly.
It isn't dependent on time,
Nor effort,
Nor even presence.
It is just a great love.
It wasn't born or grown,
Only found and recognized.
For the great love which it is.
Now and the love it always will be.
A great love.
With no need for less or for more.
For certainly my heart
could not bear either.
It is perfect just as it is.
It is a great love.
deanena tierney May 2023
As she opened and removed her robe
She tore her walls down with it
And stood completely naked
As if displaying herself to God
And waiting for judgement
With a bare soul and raw fear.
The air heaved at the sacrifice
The earth trembled.
The sun dimmed.
Oceans stilled.
Heaven cried.
Mankind laughed.
deanena tierney Nov 2013
That novel you read some years ago?
Well my friend I read it too.
The one that spoke of forever love:
Of someone for me and you.
There's a reason it's called Fiction.
deanena tierney Mar 2023
I took the bait that dangled
Starving as I was.
For a taste of something new.
Made a challenge of accepting
An imagined captivity.
I could make a habit out of this.  
A willing slave.  
And just stay, learning.
Learning your motivation,
Your sins.
Intriguing as it is...
It is not harmless.
Not for the Master,
Who underestimates
His captor.
deanena tierney Feb 2023
The space between life and death
Narrows as it goes.
Smothering at the end.
From light to deep grey
Hope to hopelessness
Final hours are no blessing
Just an expectant waiting
Almost a begging plea
For that last breath
For mercy
And there is a reverence to it all
Where the world no longer matters
And beauty takes a different form
When memories clutch the brain
And acceptance descends
Panic abates
And a beating heart finally stops
deanena tierney Oct 2010
Well...here's a little hint  world. I have absolutely no idea what I am doing. Sometimes I run....sometimes I cling....somtimes I want space...sometimes I get hurt when I get it....But "sometimes" has become my "always" and that really gets to me. Sometimes I think I may just lose my mind and sit in a corner and just ball my eyes out until someone picks me up...which may not ever happen...And everyone has some answer...some rationalization to all that I feel. I wonder if Sylvia had to listen to all the hypocritical *******, too. It's no wonder. They all say "it will get
easier." Well
you know what.
..it never seems to get easier for me....only more difficult and
more confusing
and more
demanding. When your idea of a dream is to just disappear thats when you are close to what they call rock bottom...but what if you fall in a bottomless pit?
Answer that...yeah one of you hypocrites   answer that. "Tomorrow will look different."
Say that to a blind man.  "You have to let go the hate."  
Come again?
You who choose to follow only the Commandments which are convenient to you. Preach to me then take me to bed

..and then convince yourself spanking is " a beautiful union." Spare me any lectures please...everyone who thinks they have just the right

words to say...because you don't and truth is all of you only say them to benefit yourself anyhow. I am tired of all the little games , and of all the little people.
deanena tierney Jul 2010
Where can I find a Poets' Retreat?
And would it be crowded or bare?
Would I have to bring pencils with me?
Or would they supply them there?

Would there be little desks scattered about?
Would I choose one or be assigned a seat?
Could I come and go just as I please?
How many interesting people would I meet?

When I left would I be that much wiser?
Could I easily strike out a great poem?
Would I come to love the Retreat so much,
That I'd never want to go back home?

Would there be a place with complete silence,
That otherwise is impossible to find?
Would I leave with appreciation for nature?
And could I finally clear my mind?
deanena tierney Oct 2015
Oh! to hold the secret
For the souls tranquility
Whilst the earth itself may shake
And storms rise up at sea

To retreat unto it's own
Where all life's joys of past have flown
And just breathe them all back in
To  feel them right..all over again.
deanena tierney Jul 2023
I know it wasn't you.
Just the demon inside
That took me for its prey.
And changed your view
Of me,  to one who lied,
So he could have his way.

I know it wasn't you.
Just the demon inside
That wouldn't go away.
You did what you had to.
Strike to ****... then hide
But I loved you anyway.
deanena tierney Nov 2010
Take the unseen snow and cover me with it.
Make it into a blanket around me.
I can hide my head there in it's sanctity, and
No one will even know.
And upon finding me cold, lifeless, dry breaths,
Someone less encumbered will utter
a few words that would never encompass me.
And some would cry for their loss but not for mine.
And the darkness would carry me away,
To a simpler place for me.
A place where no thought could break through
The icy encasement I made for myself.
deanena tierney Nov 2012
I want to leave .
I just want to rise and leave .
Grab my keys and a coat and leave .
Leave behind everything and everyone I should never carry on my back all the time.
They never carried me.
And my ******* back hurts   all the time now.
It hurts to rise.
So they all have me where they want me .
Immobile, unsatisfied, and mute.
Spare this silly screen which no one I know will see.
But one day they will glance in this corner
And I won't be here anymore.
And maybe I'll post on here where I am.
But no one I know will see it.
And that makes me smile.
deanena tierney Dec 2010
I will re-teach myself the lesson,
Which I failed to learn again,
While shoving tiny fragments back,
Into where my faith had been.

And in proportion to your worthiness,
I'll offer a little piece of me,
Will you treasure or make shards of it,
I'll watch, and wait, and see.

For with ample time and a cunning gaze,
I'll know exactly what you lack,
If proven true, I'll give some more,
And if not, I'll take it back.

For you see, I'm a fierce protector of,
This gift I call my soul.
And unless you surrender yours to mine,
You'll never have the whole.

For I have an eye that misses none,
And a heart that's just as keen,
So be careful dear, while you discern,
What your loss of me would mean.
deanena tierney Apr 2012
Tell me was it I that changed, my friend,
Or rather was it you?
Perhaps 'twas for time's own amusement,
To show what he could do.
The distance between yesterday,
And where we are right now,
Seems much less longer that it was,
But much more sad somehow.
Why do most men find the sorest spots on others to poke?
Same reason small children pick scabs I suppose.
deanena tierney Dec 2010
Write to me...write to me...
write to me, friend.
Before old time shadows
Start to descend.
Don't let them close me in
like they did before,
Please write your words
that mean much more.
Secret messages
that lure me to light.
That birth in me
despite dead of night.
Your words, your words,
please gift them again,
There's a scary shadow
where they have been.
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