I wonder if he feels it too?
A sort of weak magneticism
Like a conversation you want to lean into
An unexplained "knowing" sometimes
The pull is not as strong as before
It's a stretched out bungee cord now
Way less tension
But it takes a lot to cut through steel
And that's how I know I will never forget him.

I have a friend who would meet me at
At our Italian Restaurant
Anytime
Who could even ask for more than that ?

And lips that have been silent long,
  Forevermore will silent be;
No words could e'er right a wrong,
  Such as the one 'twas done to me.
And it is my hurt,  alone,  to heal;
  Remorse; regret;  afflict him none;
And yet, his heart, I still can feel,
  Though it's long been said and done.

No, I didnt get to leave.  
Like I wanted to.
Like I was meant to.
I didn't get to go see what you saw
Or search for myself under a lone tree.
I stayed here.
To save it all while it all died around me.
People I loved.
Trees I planted.
My only comforts.
Burying them one at a time.  
Fickle doesn't fit here.
The only thing that works here is giving.
There's nothing for me to take
Only give.
And I do. I give it all.
And it is taken.
Usually that doesn't bother me
But today I'm ******.
Today I'm tired.
Having a conversation with myself.
And we dont get along anymore.
We are too different.
And have betrayed each other too many times.
I have learned living contrary to one's nature
Is ******* misery.
And worse as I chose it.
The great one who steps up to save the day
Has to do it forever
Or be branded as terrible.
When do I get to live, be me, run?
To leave would mean hurting the only ones
That I ever loved.
And all my dreams probably would never come true
Anyway.

I curse the body
That wont die timely
The body that outlives hope