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Is it ok if I wait?
Because I know you’d never ask.
You don’t feel you have the right
to subject me to that task

But the choices that I face
are to simply give up hope
and forget the love of days gone by
right before you cut the rope

Or life can go on as it is
simply waiting for day
when again we are together
and nothings in the way

I’ve never known serenity
like I did when by your side
The peace and pure tranquility
of a heart that’s open wide

I know you felt the same way too
before life got in the way
That’s why I’ll ask, if I can wait
forever and a day

I
Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.
Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crêpe bows round the white necks of the public
doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.
He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.
The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

II
O the valley in the summer where I and my John
Beside the deep river would walk on and on
While the flowers at our feet and the birds up above
Argued so sweetly on reciprocal love,
And I leaned on his shoulder; 'O Johnny, let's play':
But he frowned like thunder and he went away.
O that Friday near Christmas as I well recall
When we went to the Charity Matinee Ball,
The floor was so smooth and the band was so loud
And Johnny so handsome I felt so proud;
'Squeeze me tighter, dear Johnny, let's dance till it's day':
But he frowned like thunder and he went away.
Shall I ever forget at the Grand Opera
When music poured out of each wonderful star?
Diamonds and pearls they hung dazzling down
Over each silver and golden silk gown;
'O John I'm in heaven,' I whispered to say:
But he frowned like thunder and he went away.
O but he was fair as a garden in flower,
As slender and tall as the great Eiffel Tower,
When the waltz throbbed out on the long promenade
O his eyes and his smile they went straight to my heart;
'O marry me, Johnny, I'll love and obey':
But he frowned like thunder and he went away.
O last night I dreamed of you, Johnny, my lover,
You'd the sun on one arm and the moon on the other,
The sea it was blue and the grass it was green,
Every star rattled a round tambourine;
Ten thousand miles deep in a pit there I lay:
But you frowned like thunder and you went away.
I think I should have loved you presently,
And given in earnest words I flung in jest;
And lifted honest eyes for you to see,
And caught your hand against my cheek and breast;
And all my pretty follies flung aside
That won you to me, and beneath your gaze,
Naked of reticence and shorn of pride,
Spread like a chart my little wicked ways.
I, that had been to you, had you remained,
But one more waking from a recurrent dream,
Cherish no less the certain stakes I gained,
And walk your memory’s halls, austere, supreme,
A ghost in marble of a girl you knew
Who would have loved you in a day or two.
To him who in the love of Nature holds
Communion with her visible forms, she speaks
A various language; for his gayer hours
She has a voice of gladness, and a smile
And eloquence of beauty, and she glides
Into his darker musings, with a mild
And healing sympathy, that steals away
Their sharpness, ere he is aware. When thoughts
Of the last bitter hour come like a blight
Over thy spirit, and sad images
Of the stern agony, and shroud, and pall,
And breathless darkness, and the narrow house,
Make thee to shudder, and grow sick at heart;--
Go forth, under the open sky, and list
To Nature's teachings, while from all around--
Earth and her waters, and the depths of air--
Comes a still voice--Yet a few days, and thee
The all-beholding sun shall see no more
In all his course; nor yet in the cold ground,
Where thy pale form was laid, with many tears,
Nor in the embrace of ocean, shall exist
Thy image. Earth, that nourished thee, shall claim
Thy growth, to be resolved to earth again,
And, lost each human trace, surrendering up
Thine individual being, shalt thou go
To mix for ever with the elements,
To be a brother to the insensible rock
And to the sluggish clod, which the rude swain
Turns with his share, and treads upon. The oak
Shall send his roots abroad, and pierce thy mould.

   Yet not to thine eternal resting-place
Shalt thou retire alone, nor couldst thou wish
Couch more magnificient. Thou shalt lie down
With patriarchs of the infant world--with kings,
The powerful of the earth--the wise, the good
Fair forms, and hoary seers of ages past,
All in one mighty sepulchre. The hills
Rock-ribbed and ancient as the sun,--the vales
Stretching in pensive quietness between;
The venerable woods--rivers that move
In majesty, and the complaining brooks
That make the meadow green; and, poured round all,
Old Ocean's gray and melancholy waste,--
Are but the solemn decorations all
Of the great tomb of man. The golden sun,
The planets, all the infinite host of heaven,
Are shining on the sad abodes of death,
Through the still lapse of ages. All that tread
The globe are but a handful to the tribes
That slumber in its *****.--Take the wings
Of morning, pierce the Barcan wilderness,
Or lose thyself in the continuous woods
Where rolls the Oregon, and hears no sound,
Save his own dashings--yet the dead are there:
And millions in those solitudes, since first
The flight of years began, have laid them down
In their last sleep--the dead reign there alone.
So shalt thou rest, and what if thou withdraw
In silence from the living, and no friend
Take note of thy departure? All that breathe
Will share thy destiny. The gay will laugh
When thou art gone, the solemn brood of care
Plod on, and each one as before will chase
His favorite phantom; yet all these shall leave
Their mirth and their employments, and shall come
And make their bed with thee. As the long train
Of ages glide away, the sons of men,
The youth in life's green spring, and he who goes
In the full strength of years, matron and maid,
The speechless babe, and the gray-headed man--
Shall one by one be gathered to thy side
By those, who in their turn shall follow them.

   So live, and when thy summons comes to join
The innumerable caravan, which moves
To that mysterious realm, where each shall take
His chamber in the silent halls of death,
Thou go not, like a quarry-slave at night,
Scourged to his dungeon, but, sustained and soothed
By an unfaltering trust, approach thy grave,
Like one who wraps the drapery of his couch
About him, and lies down to pleasant dreams.
Poems come and steal my soul
and leave me here to bleed
Never wounding fatally
just taking what they need
An ounce or two of passion
a pound or two of pain
leaving me alone to heal
before harvesting again
Sometimes they give more than they take
with rhymes of which I'm proud
Other times my cries are lost
amidst the madding crowd
Yet my tale is not a sad one
for there is pleasure in this pain
why else would I keep writing
inviting them again?
If I can be so modest,
Even if I do say so myself
I’m not too bad looking,
Not ready to sit upon a shelf.

I have a sense of humour,
And can be quite sharp witted too
And when I fall in love
It’s always ‘cause I’m true.

I have a real deep emotion
And a sense of empathy,
I make a friend for life
And have a sense of loyalty.

I have a question to ask you,
Could someone fall for me?
I hear you say “you don’t see why not”
But it’s not like ABC.

I hear you ask the question “why?”
And I have to say with some despair,
It’s because they don’t see what’s above
They can’t see beyond my chair.

I do not have the use of legs,
And my hands, they have no feeling,
But for me that doesn’t mean to say,
That life can have no meaning.

The chair is just a part of me,
It’s not actually who I am
It’s just a chair I sit in,
I’m still a real man!

So, if what’s important in life
Is love and security,
Could you do much worse in life
Than choose someone like me?


Steve Collins 28/4/08
Written after becoming paralised from the chest down and confined to a wheelchar in December 2007.
I hear Troubles gonna call
gonna knock upon my door
so what am I to do
if she should push me to the floor

Or if she takes me by the hand
leads me to another room
and smothers me in ecstasy
what a way to meet my doom

But perhaps all that is rumors
and she's not like that at all
just a victim of the lies from those
on whom she doesn't call

Thats why I don't make judgments
on tales others tell
I'd rather find out for myself
cos then I'd know ****** well

If the rumors they are true
then I'll know just what to do
but if the rumors are just rumors
then I'm ready for that too

You see Troubles gonna call
and she's gonna call on me
and as for whats gonna happen next
we'll just have to wait and see.
Your legs go all the way from your flip flops
right up to your cut off jeans
when my momma warns me bout certain girls
I can see you're the type that she means

There's a look in your eye
and a thing in your walk
that i struggle to fully describe
and everyone knows when your man
he'll sure be lucky to survive

you're trouble in a cut offs
so everyone says
but I think you're just misunderstood
and wrapped in that passionate chassis
is a heart that feels nothing but good

so sure I'll go to the dance with you
then maybe down to the lake for a walk
we can sit on the shore til the sun comes up
and listen to music and talk

and when we get back home next morning
and I drop you early and bright
you can guess what the neighbours are saying
but hell we'll know we did right

so trouble in cut offs she aint all that bad
not as bad as you'd like her to be
there's a side of her people don't think of
a side that chose to show me
Think 1960's rural America
Worry not for where the steamer heads
it simply helps us run away
But before you close this door for good
please listen to what I say

I'd never keep you from your loved ones
only your pride could e'er do that
and just because we sail away
doesn't mean we won't sail back

Why content yourself with hearsay
and yet insist I give you proof
The love you feel for me is real
but for him much more aloof

I can't promise you a lifetime
any more than any man
but what we have is here right now
with him its just a sham

You ask of me some guarantee
and then provide your own
That to live with one you do not love
would be worse than if alone

My love is not a lie my love
and never could it be
it's simply a dream thats unfulfilled
a dream of you and me

But if you choose to go to Sussex
please do not take me there
For these memories will haunt you
and lead you to despair.

Instead cast memories aside
both of me and of this week
I will think of you in Sussex
each time your name I speak

For though my this dream may not come true
I'll not deny it came to pass
For I will see its memory
in every looking glass

I'll not say another word my love
the decision must be yours
We both know that truth and happiness
starts through the cabin doors
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