If I could talk to you.....
I would tell you that I love you.
That I miss you so desperately.
That every day that passes feels wasted because you're not here.
That this absence is not getting any easier.
That I am not moving on.
That your voice plays in my head.
That no single hour has passed
Since that tragic day
That I don't think of you.
That the tears aren't slowing down.
That I am not me...without you.
I would say that I am sorry.
For all the many things I did
That made you feel unwanted, unappreciated, or unloved.
That I am sorry I didn't spend
Every single moment that I could have
Right by your side.
I would ask you to forgive me,
For not making you feel like you were my everything, because you were and you still are.
That I'm sorry for not telling you every day that I needed you and wanted you, the way that I should have.
For not recognizing how that
Made you feel and what that made you think.
That I am so sorry you ever felt the need to question my love or my loyalty.
I would tell you that you deserved
More of a better me.
I would tell you that from the day I
First heard your voice that my
Body, heart, and soul,
Only ever belonged to you and that I hope you believe that.
I would say that I forgive you
For not believing in me.
That I have been living in a fog
Since the day I last saw you.
And that life doesn't feel worth living at all if I have to live it without you.
That you were my anam cara, the one
I waited for my entire life.
That I felt it immediately.
I would tell you that my heart is so tangled up with yours that I am now incomplete.
I would ask you to come back to me.
I would say that I don't care how long it might take or how hard it might be,
That I want us again.
That I believe a love like ours is worth fixing, no matter how difficult that might be.
That I am willing to fight and not give up.
I would ask you to put your pride away like I have and allow us to love each other better this time.
I love you Matt.