And now I must dissect the past
And seperate every part
Every wrong decision
And every broken heart
Regrets I'll place off to the left
Unheard "I love you's" have their place
Useless dreams..they go on the right
By the memories of your face
Wasted years and loneliness
They will all go in a stack
Right beside all my love for you
Love that you never gave me back.

You will always be those slippers
and the one I talk to you in my mind
and when I'm just needing a smile
yours will be the face I find
you are the truth.. the absolute
that time can't paraphrase
the beginning and the middle
and the end of all my days  
when everything is seeming grim
when my lifes end is drawing near
ill just slip those slippers on
and say goodbye my dear.

Perhaps one day you'll write for me
Like in the days of old
You let love go
it will come back
at least that's what I'm told

Perhaps one day I'll be the one
Oh would you be so bold
Just let love go
It will come back
At least that's what I'm told.

Perhaps you just might not return
Is that how it will unfold
I let love go
And it got lost
And now it's freezing cold.

I didn't know your circles
Any more than you knew mine.
But I do know that they overlapped,
And so from time to time...
Our eyes wound meet in frenzied blur,
As our lives lapped on and on,
Then in the matter of a single whir,
So very briskly ...we'd be gone.
And knowing it'd all come round again..
You'd forget me for a score,  
Because up 'til now I'd always been
On my track... just as before.
But today I made a most brave move,
To escape the typic human race,
And now our paths might never cross,
So let these words take my place....
Please don't get dizzy on your course.
There's no need to run too fast.
Remember your only catching up to,
What has already passed.

I really miss my Andy.
Perhaps not even the man anymore.
But the hope.
The inspiration I found upon meeting him.
Now I feel like I'm trying to find
a ghost most times
Or something to believe in
Or my way back home
Thinking back the years to the time I last remember
Breathing
Not just any breathing. Fresh deep air and full chest
Breathing
October winds, and conversations with dead people.
Living.
Photos of unmarked headstones in old graveyards
Living.
Each breath now is just that much closer to death.
I hope to find my Andy soon, the old one , a new one, doesn't matter I guess.
Any Andy to breathe the life back into my soul will do.

Go ahead... think your smarter,
Than me .. go right ahead.
In fact I did agree with you,
"Your so smart" (pouty lips) is what I said.
And then went on pretending
To be a naïve simple fool,
That was all to my advantage, baby,
Letting you think we were "cool."
But I found the truth behind your lies
And I heard everything you said
Then I pretended I loved you too
While you were in my bed.
But you deemed yourself unworthy
And I'm not some naïve simple fool,
Think yourself smarter all you like
But I'm sending you back to school.

I wish that it was misting and cool right now.
That I could go lie in it, my tears mixing with the rain
Just to feel a part of something pure
But it's not and I'm not crying right now anyway.
Rather I sit surrounded by those who don't know me...never knew me.. never wanted to, and never will.
Did they never catch a glimpse of me? After all this time..
Never saw the heart I hold that bleeds for them
The mind that reasons for them
The sacrifice the abandon the belief inside of me
The beauty of my faith  which was lost so long ago
That I reclaimed in order to believe yet again in them
I've been searching for beauty myself but I'm not finding it here
Portions at times...rations maybe  but no more.. not enough
There's too much ugliness here for me...too much greed
selfishness, immorality, disloyalty, lies and pain here for me.
And I can't belong to this.
I wish that it was misting and cool right now.
That I could go lie in it, my tears mixing with the rain
Just to feel a part of something pure