I woke up this morning
with rain on my window
there was blood on my arms
and dried tears on my pillow
The knife that I used was sleeping on the floor
I looked at the clock
it was a quarter to four
Marilyn Manson was still playing as I got out of bed
thoughts of last night were hurting my head
My depression kicked in as I turned the music off
I felt ***** in my throat as I tried to cough
It is now five in the morning
I'm taking a shower
I'm starting to get cold
I've been showering for an hour
I step out of the tub
and I get the urge to cut
instead I slip on water
and fall on my ****

...................................

I woke up this morning
there's snow on my window
there are poems on the floor
and blood on my pillow
My heart starts to pound
and I start to cry
as I thank the Lord
for saving me from suicide

When you lose someone you love
life changes in so many ways
The holidays are cold
and you just count the days
It's hard to sleep at night
because your afraid of becoming weak
You just want someone to hold you
and listen to you as you speak
You smile like your fine
but your crying deep inside
You don't want to shut down
but you want to commit suicide
You want life to move on
but your lonely and you can't explain it
You try to be positive
but you can't get over it
When you think about the one you lost
you smile at the past
You smile because you knew them
but you cry because their time came too fast
Time just goes slow
you feel out of control
You feel empty and mad
the love you once had no longer grows
I've never lost a person to death
but I can imagine how it feels
I'd long for that person forever
and I'd take my time to heal
Everyone has their limit on earth
God has known their life since birth
You just need to let God take them home
and you will see them again when it's your time to go

They call her fat
but she's really not
She's actually really pretty
in fact she's hot
They make her feel stupid
and embarrassed to show her skin
Because of their words
her weight is growing thin
She's so unhappy
you should see her face
She wants to breathe
and get away from this place
There's no one else she can talk to
nobody cares
So she keeps losing weight
because nobody cares
You have no idea how this girl feels
when she has problems
Starving and cutting is how she deals
She just wants to die
she's suffocating anyways
and they still call her fat
every single day.

Their talking to me
they won't go away
They tell me bad things
every single day
They laugh at me
you should hear what they say
They take away my energy
and make it hard to talk
They torment me
they make it hard to stand
They leave me lonely
so no one can hold my hand
They call me names
and tell me to die
So I sit at my desk
and write my last goodbye
They keep on talking
they won't stop
Their breaKING mY heaRT
and THey Won'T stop
They KEEp ON TALKING
I WANT THEM TO STOP
I KEEP HEARING VOICES
PLEASE MAKE THEM STOP!!!!!

They call me ugly
They call me fat
They call me pathetic
They call me a ***
They call me depressing
They call me a cutter
They call me useless
They call me a *******
They call me anti-social
They call me dumb
They call me weird
They call me numb
They call me stupid
They call me a ****
They call me a poser
They call me a nut
They call me a fake
They call me thick
They call me a follower
They call me a *****
They call me all of these names
Yet they don't even know me
but every name they call me
pushes me further to success.

And there is was.  As real as I knew it was.

It existed in my mind and fed on my soul. I stared it right in the face and felt somewhat whole.

It was like finding the missing piece to the puzzle. A puzzle you've been working on for a year. And the more you tried to figure out what happened to it, the more it felt unclear.

Your heart was invested. But in someone else as I could see. I obviously didn't deserve honesty from you. I wonder if she knows about me?