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7.9k · Feb 2015
Ana
Hanna Kelley Feb 2015
Ana
I met a girl named Ana
she is beautiful in every possible way
her body is perfect, and she was
determined to stay

I made a friend named Ana
she promised to tell me her secrets of perfection
what I didn't know wouldn't **** me
until it led to addiction

my best friends name is Ana
she's always talking to me
recommending to skip two meals
maybe even three

I hate a girl named Ana
she promised me pleasure
instead I feel dead inside
it's nothing but torture

I'm prisoner to a girl named Ana
please, somebody listen to my silent crys
I can't speak my own mind
help me before I die!

my murders name is Ana
she made me starve, she made me weak
death wasn't the solution
I tried to seek
7.1k · Jun 2015
learn to fly
Hanna Kelley Jun 2015
sometimes you just need to let go

like a bird
You will learn to fly
On the way down
If you believe
You will survive
And live to be stronger
And more confident
Than you ever were
5.8k · Feb 2015
nobody cares
Hanna Kelley Feb 2015
Soft dirt surrounds me like a heavy quilt
The grass and flowers above my head wilt
Why does nobody love me or even care?
They spit on my grave with no pain to bare
5.1k · Aug 2015
my light (10w)
Hanna Kelley Aug 2015
You are my light
And I can't live without you
Please don't leave me in the dark
4.4k · Jun 2015
broken promises
Hanna Kelley Jun 2015
Don't make a promise to
Somebody if you have
no intentions of
keeping it
Because
one
of
the
most
Hurtful
Unnoticed
Most common
Pains in the world
Is a broken promise
Don't make promises just so you can break them
3.0k · May 2016
Rant- "labels"
Hanna Kelley May 2016
I don't care who you are, if you judge people for a living then I recommend that you take a long good look at your life because if you are taking that time out of your life to criticize other people for being someone that they want to be then you need to fix yourself. Fix your mind set. Fix the way you see the world because who ever taught you that being yourself is wrong did not teach you right. I will not judge you for wanting to be a different gender. I will not judge you for your beliefs and religions. I will not judge you for the clothes you wear or the music you listen too so why the **** should you be able to judge me? I as so sick of being looked at and automatically labeled. If I wanted to be labeled then I would label myself.
3.0k · Aug 2015
be somebody (10w)
Hanna Kelley Aug 2015
Don't be a copie or a clone
Just be yourself
2.7k · Jun 2015
unwanted by the higher power
Hanna Kelley Jun 2015
2 year's ago
Hey God, it's just me.
I'm trying to reach out to you again.
Why don't you ever talk to me?
The people at my church say that they hear your voice in their times of need.
Well here I am sitting behind a closed door because I can't face anyone with tears in my eyes; but I'm reaching out to YOU...And you still don't answer my prayers.

1 year ago
Things seem to be getting worst, but I'm trying to look on the bright side;
I know you will make things better over time....right?
That's what others are telling me.

3 months ago
Actually, when I think about it; you've never answered any of my prayers
You never stoped the bullying, I did.
You didn't get rid of my mom's tumor, it's still there.
You couldn't get me through my problems because you never answered me.
I'm trying, im REALLY trying to believe in you right now but your not giving me any proof..
All I need is one, just one prayer to come true
Then I will know I haven't been relying on nothing.

last night**
No? Nothing? Really?
So now it's up to me to make things better,
Here's goodbye to the higher power that Is known as our Lord and savior.
I just want to know why.
Why when I have no proof of you, I still try?
still try and talk to you, to believe in you?
Why am I even writing this?
Is it that you actually don't exist or that your ignoring me?
This is MY opinion about God, sorry if this disrespects your religion.
2.5k · Aug 2015
unfinished puzzle
Hanna Kelley Aug 2015
Every child is born
With a puzzle to do
Some smaller than others
But same in point of view

As you live your life
You search for every piece
You find them in the people you meet
Or in places you find peace

Sometimes your pieces
Don't fit like they should
So you take them out
And find a place they could

Some people are so desperate
To find the right part
That they'll force them in places
That ruins the art

When a piece doesn't fit
Then you set it aside
It will be important later
It will have to be applied

But those people that are desperate
May take those away
They'll find a place that it fits
Along with the price to pay

Puzzles are made
With similar design
So they can get away
With taking what was mine

Too many people
Took what were important to me
So my puzzle is left unfinished
And I can't see what it would be

I can't finish my puzzle
And show my work of art
I can't get a new puzzle
And go back to the start

Selfish people have ruined
The only thing I had
I can't find my pieces
I have nothing more to add

So I throw away my puzzle
Since there is nothing more to do
I walk through the door
This is all because of you
Not everyone will understand this poem.
2.2k · Feb 2015
anorexia
Hanna Kelley Feb 2015
You may not want me here
But I am here to stay
I can help you ****
Those pounds you wish away

To improve your image
And help you feel delight
To stare into your reflection
And love the beautiful sight

We'll start with just a pound
Or maybe even more
Just walk into your bathroom
And behind you shut the door

It's okay darling
Not losing weight yet?
Alright, we'll cut some meals
No need to be upset

Your shedding weight pound for pound
But still you are not pleased
Your own reflection mocks you
And in public you are teased

Even now as you look in the mirror
You still want to lose it all
Down to 60 pounds
And all of your teardrops fall

You still felt worthless,
Not good enough
And life around you
Was getting too tough

You were killing yourself
And you just wanted it to end
You still wanted more
Of what I recommend

And now your dead
Because you were a little overweight
And you never believed your friends
When they told you "you look great"
2.2k · Jul 2015
too late (10 W)
Hanna Kelley Jul 2015
So much I want to say, but it's too late
2.2k · Jan 2016
White rabbit in a snowstorm
Hanna Kelley Jan 2016
When you see a painting hanging on a wall,
You don't really question it,
You see the painting as it is and its placement on the wall, not much else.

Some people are more interested than others and so they want to buy the painting.

They see its origin, the frame, its design, how much effort was put into it, the story behind its art.

After a while, some people get bored of it,
They give it away because they don't want it anymore.

And while some people took the time to look at my art,
You spent all of your money on paintings that weren't me.
Hanna Kelley May 2015
You were only using me
to solve your problems,
and hide your lies
just because you couldn't compromise

I thought you were my friend
apparently I was wrong,
I thought we could be friends again
that we would finally get along

now it's my turn, I need help
and this is what you do?!
your going to leave me here alone
while I was there for you?!

and now your reading this,
don't start caring now!
just because I'm telling the truth
doesn't mean you get to back down!

let the world see you
for who you really are,
she's running from the truth
but she's not getting that far

your not going to win this time!
you hurt my friends, you cheated,
you lied! You acted in pain
as we fell down and died

I tried to help you through your problems
and this is what you choose?
you makes everyone's life miserable
because you didn't know who you would rather lose!

just let me make this simple for you:
you have my friendship, but you have lost my trust
Don't be surprised
when I leave you in the dust.
2.1k · Sep 2015
travel
Hanna Kelley Sep 2015
My plan is to graduate, go to college in some state
To take my friend to Canada before it's too late

I want to be a teacher or a councillor, something nice
I want to travel around the world, no matter the price

To go see China and learn the language and their ways
To go to Africa and watch how they live for days

I want to travel to India and visit some friends
I want to spend my life in Italy and hope it never ends

Germany, France, Mexico, Spain
Romania, Greece, Iraq, Ukraine

I really need to go to "the land of the green"
Meet up with friends and do everything in between

I know that I won't travel that far or do all of those things
But I have to be honest, it's a wonderful dream
I really want to travel to places all around the world, but that won't happen because I haven't even been outside the U.S.
2.0k · Jun 2016
Self-hate (10W)
Hanna Kelley Jun 2016
How can everyone love her when she can't love herself?
1.9k · May 2015
fake smile
Hanna Kelley May 2015
I smile
I say I'm fine
But I never knew it was a waist of time

You saw through my lies
You held my hands
And stared in my eyes

You sat me down
Your smile was warming
You promised you would stay till morning

You hugged me
And whispered in my ear
*"everything will be okay, I love you dear"
1.9k · Jun 2015
just for tonight
Hanna Kelley Jun 2015
Hold me, love me
With all of your mite
Be with me
Just for tonight

Let's drink and get high
Until the morning light
Have fun and let go
Just for tonight

Be wild and crazy
Let's start a fight
Be stupid with me
Just for tonight

Travel with me
And see new sights
Let's have an adventure
Just for tonight

Let's jump off this cliff
And then take flight
Take risks with me
Just for tonight

Lay with me
And count the satellites
Let's be silent
Just for tonight

It's just you and me
in the moonlight
Thank you so much
Now it's good night
1.9k · Feb 2015
suicide
Hanna Kelley Feb 2015
Suicide was never the answer to your temporary problems
And now I read about your death through the newspaper columns
" teen boy found dead with suicide letter..."
I believed you when you said you were feeling better...

This poem is for the suicidal boys that never get recognized
Suicide is never the right thing to idolize!
Put down the razor, or your item of torture
You get pushed passed your limits, and it hurts, sure...
But that doesn't mean you can't make it through your temporary problem
Do you really want to be idolized through the newspaper column?
1.9k · Jun 2015
the sun and the moon
Hanna Kelley Jun 2015
girl: Why do you love me?
boy: why does the sun die every night for the moon?
girl: your so mushy and poetic, but it's cute
1.8k · Apr 2016
Jessica
Hanna Kelley Apr 2016
Its the way she talks about the things she is passionate about that makes me fall even harder for her
I love how she doesn't care about her appearance and how she has gotten me to focus less on mine
I can't help but smile whenever I think back to the moments when I am with her
She always seems to impress me with some hidden talent or personality feature
She is never boring or original, even her family can surprise me at the most random of times
Whenever I am with her she makes everything seem like it is okay
I stress over a lot of things and no matter what situation it is she can make me look at it from a different view
I love her so much but I fail to say it enough
So even if she never knows what I think about her or even if we don't last, I just hope she knows that she has made me into a better person and that I hope she will keep changing me for the better in the future
For those of you who do not know, yes I have a girlfriend
1.7k · Feb 2015
you dont understand
Hanna Kelley Feb 2015
"You don't understand"
Said her friend with her broken heart.

"You don't understand"
Her dad sighed, begging for a new start.

"You don't understand"
Screamed her boyfriend, his wrists bleeding red.

"You don't understand"
Cried her sister with the voices in her head.

"You don't understand"
Glared the boy, bullied because he was gay.

"but I do understand"
Because I am not okay.

"I understand"
I have a broken heart too.

"I understand"
I need a new start, but you have no clue.

"I understand"
My wrists have bled, my family isn't very kind.

"I understand"
The voices scream and yell throughout my mind.

"I understand"
I am bullied almost everyday.

"I understand"*
Because I am not okay.
1.7k · Jul 2015
dear bully
1.7k · Jun 2015
one-sided
Hanna Kelley Jun 2015
Sometimes I wonder
How much you think about me
Because I spend all my minutes
Thinking about what we could be
1.7k · Aug 2015
expectations
Hanna Kelley Aug 2015
Hidden from the world, their expectations too high
I will never reach them, even if I try.

So I change myself; My face, my hair,
Everything that makes me ME, no one will care.

Soon enough, I'm not the same as I used to be
No longer that little girl that everyone loved to see.

I have become a fake person with fake aspects
So afraid of their expectations of having to be perfect.

I have lost the only people that cared about the real me
Now I'm a nail, holding up their reputations like the tool they want me to be.

I am defenseless and the only thing I can do is be quiet
This is what I wanted, right? The new look, personality and diet.

I wanted to reach their expectations and still I fail to do that
I changed myself for them but still they walk all over me like a mat.

I guess their expectations were too high, I couldn't go that far
Now I have to live with them ******* me dry of myself like the leeches they are.
You will never reach the expectations of everyone, so just stick with the friends you have.
1.6k · Jul 2015
unspoken
Hanna Kelley Jul 2015
Pure silence is the sound of words left unspoken
1.5k · Nov 2015
Good bye
Hanna Kelley Nov 2015
"see you later "
                              Is a promise.
      While
                  
"good bye"*
                                        Is a precaution.
You never know when its the last time you'll see somebody.
1.5k · Jul 2015
make my heart skip a beat
Hanna Kelley Jul 2015
If the heart is a time bomb
ticking away
Then keep making the beats skip
Inspired by Meghan Foukes
1.4k · Jun 2016
Scared
Hanna Kelley Jun 2016
I am scared.
Of everything.
I am scared that the people that have been there for me in the past will not be there for me when I need them most.
I am scared that maybe I won't graduate.
That I won't go to college.
I'm scared that I might actually go to college but then I won't know what to do.
I'm scared that I am not aiming for the right degree.
I'm scared that I will get the right degree and get my dream job but then I won't like it.
I'm scared that I am too focused on my future that I will look back on my past and realize that I didn't do anything with it.
I'm scared that I am wasting my time trying to become something for the possibly that I might become nothing.
I am scared to move.
I am scared to get out of this town and get lost in a big city with no one to run to.
I am scared to stay here and this be the only place I will ever know.
I am scared of my genetics.
I am scared to have kids and have them suffer because they will have some hereditary disease that I can't watch them live through.
I am scared that I will never become a mother because of my fear of being a failure.
I am scared that these fears mean nothing but I am obsessing over them anyways.
I am scared of having a reason to be scared...
And that scares me.
1.4k · Aug 2015
superheroes (10w)
Hanna Kelley Aug 2015
The real hero's aren't what you see on the movies
1.4k · Jun 2015
hidden
Hanna Kelley Jun 2015
Everybody has a second side to themselves

One side that everybody sees
And the other that you want to stay hidden
1.3k · Feb 2015
the voices in my head
Hanna Kelley Feb 2015
Dreadful
Mocking
Torturous screams
They keep on repeating the same things
Threatened
Defeated
Hopeless and scared
When she smiles, no one is aware
Crying
******
Hurt little girl
Pretends to be fine for the rest of the world
Happy
Laughing
Faking a smile
This can only last for a while
Broken
Speechless
Breathing but dead
These are the voices inside my head
Hanna Kelley Feb 2018
Penises make me uncomfortable because they have only been used against me. Uncomfortable is not a strong enough word to explain the disgust that rises up my throat, the sickening feeling that tears at my stomach and lungs, the feeling of having to retract all of my limbs into my body, or at least as close as physically possible.

I can not stand the thought of having *** with a male, but does that make me a lesbian? Or does that just mean I am terrified of the possiblity of experiencing PTSD? If I think these flashbacks are bad enough, I don't want to experience anything more.

I only date guys that resembles the man that hurt me first.

When I am in a perfect relationship, I ruin it on purpose because I am scared of commitment.

I crave the things that hurt me, like razor blades, and chemicals that fill my lungs and poison my liver. Like a firm hand, a hot flame, a brick wall; I even crave the sounds of warning that my body gives when it is slowly dieing. The white lights, ears ringing, the light headed feeling when I stand up. I crave the black circles under my eyes, the transparency of my skin, the feeling of bones. I crave the blood pumping through my veins going 70 on a road with my eyes closed. I crave self destruction.
1.2k · Jun 2015
what i want to be
Hanna Kelley Jun 2015
At age 8* my teacher would ask me what I wanted to be when I grow up, so I told her a fashion model.
She laughed and wrote it on the board.

At age 9 I wanted to be a doctor along with half of my class.

At age 10 I wanted to be a teacher, they all told me it takes a lot of education and I would have to work hard in order to get there.

at age 11 I wanted to be an artist, they told me to pick something more realistic so I said a singer.
They said to stop playing games and choose a job.

at age 12 I was pretty hooked on the idea of a singer, so I sang
And I sang
And I sang
Until I believed that I was good enough to be famous.

at age 13 I was so confident about my singing
Until I heard their voices.
Most of the girls in my choir were reaching the high notes and their tones were so clear.
I gave up on that dream.
I knew I wouldn't be like them.
So I began poetry.
This was the year I wrote my first poem "nobody cares".
I showed it to a few really close friends and my sister.
They said it was really good, it got them emotionally and that was what I was aiming for.
At first the poem was about 2 pages long but I cut it shorter every time I showed it people because they told me what parts didn't make sense to them.
I took it as a way to improve my poem.
So then I started posting it on quotev, and tumblr, and now hellopoetry.
I wasn't expecting anybody to like it.
I continued poetry and now it comes to me so easily, I can write poems like I'm writing my own name.

at age 14 I told my teacher I wanted to be a poet and he told me that
"I needed to improve"
At age 14 I didn't know what I wanted to be.
Nothing was good enough
Nothing was realistic enough
Nobody gave me enough support to go with my dreams.
At age 14 I decided that I wanted multiple jobs.
I still haven't told anyone because I already know what they're going to say.
1.2k · May 2015
too me
Hanna Kelley May 2015
Too tired
Too weak
Too gentle
Too sweet

Too honest
Too kind
Too loyal
Too blind

Too scared
Too young
Too hurt
Too done

Too distant
Too misled
Too me
Too dead
1.2k · Jul 2015
so far gone
Hanna Kelley Jul 2015
no matter how hard I try to reach out to you

you will never be able to respond

for you are so far gone

that I can't feel your presence anymore
I miss you guys ~RIP
1.2k · Aug 2015
lock
Hanna Kelley Aug 2015
You told me you
Couldn't trust anymore
So you locked your heart
And you shut the door
I would knock and
Knock everyday
I waited for a response
Then I walked away
Soon I grew tired
Of trying to earn your trust
Your teardrops on
doorknobs begin to rust
It was pointless to knock
So I just walked in
Your trust in me
Growing more thin

"No more doors
We can have a new start
Now I only have
To unlock your heart"


"But why should I trust
The one that didn't knock?"


*"Because I am the only one
That cares about your lock

Everyone else left
For the same reason I stayed
Because I couldn't bare
To watch you use that blade"
This is about someone who lost all trust in the people around her because she kept getting hurt, so she started blocking everyone out. The more she pushed people away, the more friends she lost. I was the only one that kept trying. One day I just confronted her and demanded she told me what was going on, she wanted to know why I still cared; so I explained why as I was emptying her pockets of razor blades..
1.2k · Mar 2018
Dear me
Hanna Kelley Mar 2018
Everyone goes through some stuff in their life that they want to change.
Something that hurt them, someone who changed them, a situation that could have been avoided.
And we have to face the realization that we can't change any of it.
I wish I could write a letter to myself.
My past self.
I could tell her that the minds of teenagers get dark and scary.
I would inform her that razors should only be used to shave.
I would plead that she didn't let her insecurities stop her from reaching her goals.
I would enlighten her that no matter how much make-up, dieting, or personality changes she commits too; its better to change for yourself than turn into something your not for others.
I would encourage her to not think twice. STOP OVERTHINKING.
I would remind her that she is young and yes, death is unpredictable but so is your ability to reach your biggest dreams. Reach for your dreams.
Don't think of death as a dead line; great things take time.
Everyone makes mistakes.
I would tell her that one day she will have these unexplainable feelings for a girl. It will seem impossible, but do not give up on her.
I would warn her about the high school boys that will only use her, no matter how Christian they are.
Create friendships, get to know people before you give yourself away.
Let things take its course and you may be surprised where it takes you.
I would explain all of the great things that I have experienced, and inform her that the world can be bright.
I would remind her that her parents only want what is best for her, and they are more supportive than she thinks.
I would let her know that people will leave her, and it will be hard for awhile, but she will survive.
You will survive.
1.1k · May 2015
the coast
Hanna Kelley May 2015
The waves of the ocean crash against the cliffside rocks
The trees and the dirt behind me in the background
The water wakes colliding
The strong winds tossing my body
The sea water spray floating in the air
I think I am in my special place
1.1k · Jun 2015
i wish
Hanna Kelley Jun 2015
I wish to be the girl you hold so tight
I wish to be the one you lay with at night
I wish I could be able to trust again
I wish I could stop writing with this blood pen
I wish I was beautiful, thin, and tall
I wish I could just sleep and forget it all
I wish I could go and live on a star
I wish I was strong enough to go that far
I wish to be confident, important, and smart
I wish my first job will be a good start
I wish to stop growing and always stay young
I wish I could hide my nicotine stained tongue
I wish that I will graduate and live a great life
I wish that my husband will think me a good wife
I wish to have kids so I can watch them grow
I wish I was strong enough to just let go
I wish to move on, forget, and forgive
I wish to be happy so I can just live
I wish that soon you will understand
I wish I could replace my thyroid gland
I wish that I was a healthy child
I wish that I could fly for miles
I wish that my family will begin to be kind
I wish to rid the suicidal thoughts from my mind
I wish to be recognized for my art
I wish that the right boy will fix my heart
I wish that I will be more optimistic
I wish that my wishes were more realistic
1.1k · Jun 2016
Relax
Hanna Kelley Jun 2016
I know that I over think every possible situation and analyze everything before finally making a decision but please don't tell me to "relax".

My future is in my hand right out in front of me, I keep holding it up no matter how tired my arm gets because I am determined.
I am so determined to make something of it and then you just tell me to drop it.
"Relax"

Telling me to relax is like telling me to drop my future, like I can just pick it up off of the floor when it is time for me to do something with it.
Like I can just start from where I left off.
No.

Relaxing is like dropping my future and just when it is time for me to get it started, it is already ruined because I broke it when I "relaxed".

I have come so far from not knowing what I wanted to do with my life and where I want to go and who I want to be so NO I am not going to "relax".

I am not going to let go of all the progress I have made just so I can not be ready when I have to fend for myself.
I am going to be ready.

I will relax when I succeed.
961 · Jan 2016
Pearl
Hanna Kelley Jan 2016
She is a pearl, not fully grown yet.
She hides in her shell away from the predators that only want to rob her of herself.
Over the years she grows, she adapts to the world around her because she knows that once she is done growing she will be something beautiful.
She plays show and tell with the tales of her young depression, the solitary game of hide of seek that she wanted so badly to win but she could never find herself.
The only game she ever wins is the mind game that no one other than herself can figure out.
She is awarded champion for making it into high school, the hell years of her life.
She did it, she made it this far,
And now everyone and everything are at her throat trying to drown her in her self doubt and the misery that a waits when she comes up for air.
She holds her trophy high as if it was supposed to be a beaken of hope repeating to herself "I can do it".
She questions her heart, like her heart is the one teasing her with happiness but we all know it isn't.
She tries so hard to hide herself from everyone who could potentially cause her harm but its impossible, her shell is cracked and everyone has found the opportunity to try to break in.
Her insecurities are scars, heart breaks are bruises, betrayel shows as broken bones, dishonesty are missing teeth for each person who has ever walked out of her life.
...
She plays a game of show and tell with her young depression, like she can point to each scar and say "I was fat", each bruise and repeat "he left me for her", each broken bone, each tooth and her tears will tell you the rest.
She will walk over to her trophy case and sigh because she knows it doesn't give her hope, its just proof showing she could withstand breaking infront of everyone for years.
She is a pearl who grew up the wrong way, she will never be perfect.
She will have dents and cracks and she won't be as strong as she was supposed to be.
But that doesn't matter because only beautiful people show their flaws,
She is still everything beautiful to me.
928 · Jul 2015
Untitled
Hanna Kelley Jul 2015
I knew your wrong intentions from the start
I could feel them when you hugged me from behind
I could see them every time we kissed
I could hear them every time you said I love you
I knew.
And when you thought I didn't, you left
"You can't say I wasn't loyal" you said as you held her hand
928 · Feb 2015
the life inside a box
Hanna Kelley Feb 2015
In a box
Are secrets untold
Some are new
And some are old

Locked and kept
on a shelf up high
Safe and covered
With a blanket of lies

Everybody tries
But the box is locked
To find the memories
If how I am mocked

For some are able
To find the key
To open the box
And dissect me

To reach inside
And read my mind
The thoughts I've
not yet left behind

Memory by memory
They skim the box
Soon to be rumors
Where everybody talks

And when they are done
They'll put it back
Empty of all
The secrets I've packed

You see...

In a box
is the life of me
Dissected, tortured
And without a key
903 · Jan 2016
Monkey bars (10w)
Hanna Kelley Jan 2016
You let go. Move forward. And yes, sometimes it hurts.
Life is like monkey bars
877 · Jul 2015
my special place
Hanna Kelley Jul 2015
It's where I met my friends
It's where I fell in love
It's where I learned to skate
It's where I go to have fun
The memories I have from this place aren't all great..
It's also the place where I found out I was being cheated on.
Lied to.
Used.
It's where I talked friends out of suicide.
That bathroom has helped me in more ways then you would think.
Those walls and tiles have felt my anger,
That bathroom stall has hidden my tears from the world,
And that mirror has showed me the truth.
The people that work there are my best friends, my friends from school go there too.
They are the people that helped me through hard times,
They are the ones that make my day better, sometimes even my entire week.
When I go there, all of my worries subside for a little bit and I just have fun.
This is the place I go to when I need a break.
A break from my parents,
A break from the drama,
A break from the depression that always finds its way into my life.
These people have hugged me out of love and kindness,
They have made me laugh in my worst moments,
They have given me their trust and I do the same in return.
If you still don't understand why I would love this so much, then let me share something else:

As soon as I walk through the doors I am greeted with smiles and happiness.
They blast music to discise the silence that would normally tear me apart.
My friends are there to make it 10 times better.
As soon as I get on the rink I am free.
I am stuck in an endless circle,
Different from the world outside.
The colorful lights draw my attention away from my worries and makes me happy.

For three hours, I am happy
I am free
I am in a different world
This is why George's roller Inc is my special place
It's in hermiston, Oregon. If any of you guys are in the area then you should come hang out :)
857 · Apr 2016
Inhumanity
Hanna Kelley Apr 2016
Why is it that soldiers are trading dog tags for hospital beds and body bags?
Why are graduates gambling away their lives through drugs and alcohol?
Why is it that we have to keep moving on like things are okay? Like this isn't as messed up as the news make it sound
Why is it that teenage girls are playing a game of rullet with their bodies; like teen pregnancy is just a myth
Why are young kids that have expierenced true pain not acknowledged; like their hurt is not worthy of being praised
"They don't know true pain. They're just kids"
Oh but their pain is just as real as yours.
Why do we rely on relationships to help us feel whole?
Like happiness is received through the lips of another and love is something guarantied
Why are we knocked down by all that is wrong with the world just so someone can say "get up"?
How many people have to leave are lives while we are dreaming of the memories only certain minds can relate?
How many times are we supposed chock on last goodbyes due to illnesses that don't have cures?
How many kids are going to be left with out parents? Sisters? Brothers? How many kids are going to be orphens of the world that has turned them down time and time again?
How many?
How many kids will leave all of their faith in fictional characters, in superheros, until they are shown the justice that they have longed for?
What level of the word "racist" are we supposed to reach before something is actually done to stop it?
Its not really the number of problems I'm looking for
What I really want to know is how many people are going to take a stand to actually stop these things?
Just a little rant.
848 · Sep 2015
mind (10 W)
Hanna Kelley Sep 2015
The emotions in my head are fighting over the controls.
844 · Nov 2015
home
Hanna Kelley Nov 2015
Home is where I grew up
It's where we buried my favorite dog
It's the yellow and red tulips in the back yard
It's the memories of the celebrations and holidays
It's where my friends were
It's the tennis court on the next block
It's the elementary school we walked to
It's the library rock wall that we walked along
It's the skating rink we go to every Friday night
It's where I grew up
It's the kitchen where the height measurements on the door frame still stand
It's the closet from my room where I hid my secrets
It's the long nights I stayed up laughing with my sister
It's achievements I was awarded
It's the kitchen cabinet where I would always hide
It's the memory of my brother and how he treated us
It's the barking in the middle of the night when we got our new puppy who is now bigger than I am
It's the shed in the yard next door where I had fun
It's the memory of my neighbors
It's the nights I spent grieving with my sister
It's Jimmy joining in the army
It's where I got most of my injuries
It's the sleepovers with my friend Tennison
It's how me and Makayla danced in the dining room
It's my job as a babysitter and a dog walker
It's my crush living at the end of the block
It's the abandoned house where we hung out
It was the trips to JR's house
It was where I learned to ride a bike, crochet, play soccer, basketball, tennis
It's where I discovered myself
It's the memory of packing and moving out
It's Greg and his family trashing my dad's hard work
Home is not riding the bus to school
It's not my brother moving out
It's not the drama
It's not the bad things that have happened
It's not the hospital bills
It's not the white picket fence in the front yard
This may be where I live and I know my thoughts will change but for right now
This is not my home.
841 · Feb 2016
Eye contact
Hanna Kelley Feb 2016
Eyes are the gateway to the soul.
I used to be able to look into someone's eyes and see happiness, everyone was always so happy.
Few people would ever look sad, their eyes would show flashbacks of pain and doubt, always hurt by the past.
I used to look in the mirror and laugh because I would watch my memories dance around my eyes and bring me joy.
But then reality kicked in.
I can't stand to look at myself in the mirror.
Now when I look at myself, it's like I fade to black and white.
I am dragged into my soul and drown by my memories.
I am tortured by what has happened to me and what has happened to the people around me, I am suffocated by the reality of the world and the brutality of people.
I am scared to keep eye contact with people because I don't want them to be dragged into the darkness of my memories.
I don't want them to see the things I won't tell them.
There are only a few times when I can hold eye contact, and that's when someone understands.
I meet my friends eyes and I can see their hurt, our memories comfort each other saying "you're not alone".
839 · May 2015
just another yesterday
Hanna Kelley May 2015
Today you talked to me,
I know you left me for her
But I can't help but feel as though I miss you.

Today you stared at me,
Just like how you used to,
Starring into my eyes, you make me feel like it's just you & me

Today you told me you missed me,
That you still love me,
But it was best for us to stay friends

Today you held me once again,
Only this time
The hug was longer, tighter, sweeter

Today you flirted with her
Right in front of me
Told me "she might be the one"

Tonight,
I sleep...I need to get you off my mind,
Maybe I'll finally move on

Now I realize
That all of these memories,
Are just a lot of yesturdays
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