ten pm, there's time
time for a movie
maybe
but i don't know what to watch
i don't know if i've seen that before
don't know if i should

ten pm, ******
**** this scrutiny
definitely
but i don't know what you want
i don't know if you've seen this before
don't know if you should

ten pm, i wait
await my sadomasochistic fate

i get the balance

you say one thing and do another
gain something and lose another
let one go and choose another
bruise one side and hurt the other

you laugh at one and laud another
trust in one and stab another
rip the arms off one another
sling opinions at each other

i heard it all from a to z
but i only got as far as x
because i didn't understand the y
or what for

nothing is absolute, because

i can drive as far as i can
and know i've seen the continent

i can think as far as i can
and know i've reached my imagination

i can study as far as i can
and know i've attained a professorship

i can listen as far as i can
and know i've heard it all

i can give as much as i can
and know it's never enough

i can drift as much as i can
and know i'm still ******* lost

nothing is absolute, except *****
because at least with *****, i'll always be relatively ******.

you know you've made it
when you're good enough at showing off
how good you are at listening
and how well you know the song
and show them all how to lead

that's an intractable skill, i mean
finding one between the other
and getting the dance right
between the two

you know you've made it
when you can't tell one from the other
when it flows through you
how well you know the song
and show them all how to bleed

that's an amazing achievement, i mean
putting one before the other
getting the balance right
between the two

you know you've made it
when both sides make sense to you alone
when it glides through you
how much you know you're wrong
an achievement indeed

not choosing sides
but living the moment
we should sometimes try
and achieve
know not the consequence
nor the challenges
just close your eyes
and believe

here's the way i see it.

i'm an artist, a writer, a gambler, a fighter, a scientist, a scholar, a critic, a failure, a dramatist, a dreamer, a peddler, a nuisance, a bassist, a wanderer, a magician, a follower, a therapist, a liar, a professional, a healer, a pacifist, a chisel, a storyteller, a mathemetician, a physicist, a cook, a puzzler, a loser, a programmer, a lawnmower, a supporter, a musician, a tape-deck, a mirror, a survivor, and a dude.

i'm not very good at any of it.

time is a strange gift
we give to one another
but can't keep ourselves

i don't feel a thing
so i shouldn't feel afraid
it's not natural

the troubling thing about the existence of god
is that there's no direct proof
but there's definitely something that keeps us alive
or more precisely motivated

when i look back at the interesting life that i've trod
and feel damaged and aloof
i want to believe that i managed to survive
but it's so much more complicated


beauty in complexity
is all there needs to be
distracted by futility
i'll never get to see
trapped in the complicity
of me

let's say you make a decision
justify it any way you need to
stick to your guns
put up with the shame
make it your own
and take the blame

let's say that happened
i'll spell it out if i need to
nobody won
everything's the same
nowhere to run
and no claim to fame

and then everyone else had another idea
because that's what you told them
all this time, this immeasurable fear
that thing that you sold them

can't hardly speak, if only
i've never, ever felt this lonely

i've done nothing wrong
but i'm willing to concede
that i got it right

what is your vice
what is your virtue
and what is your wand

or

what ****** you off
what do you want
and how can you fix it

for me it's the other way round, you see
my vice is i want to be heard
my virtue constructive debate
my wand just ran out of batteries

and then she fell silent
and i never heard her again
she said some things, sure
shouted some others
ignored me to the point of near suicide, and then

she crumpled up my dignity
squashed it to bits
took whatever she could
and then
she did it all over again

he is good
he is kind
but he doesn't exist

he's not there
pay no mind
try not to persist

he is more
than you are
and that's okay

he's not here
and not far
tomorrow, another day

it's what it is
just that
you're sorry
okay

je suis pardonner
não foi minha culpa
lumela seo u se batlang
namaste

and suddenly we pause, relax
not so much to leave the tracks
to stop and catch a breath of air
there's plenty of it everywhere
it gets abused, but that's okay
it's said all that it needs to say.

silence has another verse
the seriousness is just as terse
it means so many things, you see
draws a line between you and me
takes the things that make you proud
and makes you say them out aloud.

i heard you, yes i feel the same
a tired, fractured, pointless game
the same we tried to play before
that left me wanting so much more
it took some time to manifest
appreciation at it's best.

thank you for the time we shared
thank you for the times you dared
to let me hang along with you
for giving life a different view
understanding how it goes
is a quality in you that shows.

output: i thought so
input: i hope so
stream: i am so
audio: just listen

i couldn't think, i blinked
and nature stayed it's course.

when i put my trust in anything
be it your claims of innocence
or her claims of dissonance
all i ask is
whether it was worth it?

if i happen to be wrong
be it my stupid intelligence
or her perfunctory ignorance
all i ask is
was it worth it?

if my back is squarely up against the wall
and nothing makes any sense
besides the obvious pretense
all i ask is
what is it worth?

whatever you think it is
we can fix it in increments
like the poodle hole in the fence
all i ask is
do you think it's worth it?

i do, but
i wonder
wonder i do

assume if you must
people are not always right
so assume with care

if i was set adrift in a sea of doubt
there'd be no doubt
if i could see

if i were to imagine the drought
there'd be no drought
or famine

but i can't
because i'm .............
wood for the trees
salt for the seas
sympathy for the devil, all that

does me being less me
mean you being more you
or does me being more me
mean you being less you
an arrogant economy
that tries hard to forget you
and it's hard, god it's so hard
to find that delicate ******* balance

between what's right and what's wrong
and where you know you belong
because earth is the place where everyone lives
and everyone learns how to forgive

be it the choices you made
way back in fifth grade
or the people you listen to
while they're hurling resent at you

it's never too late
so why wait

a shape with three sides is a triangle
a useful way to represent the plane
geometrically, at least, besides

a lie is method of deceipt
but transistors can decide
based on where they feel the heat
that strange silicon carbide
makes circuitry complete

a puzzle is a truth that you untangle
a useful way to escape the mundane
a triangle is a shape with three sides
yours, mine, and the truth

so getting good at anything
is like pushing up a measure
letting it get good at itself
brings a different kind of pleasure

i've seen too many people try to get clever
and think they're immune
i bet they're immune
pretend to be honest
and hang out forever

this pattern will happen forever and ever
and those that are smart
you'll know if they're smart
have hidden a promise
and hang out forever

two atoms apart that will never be severed
the one makes the dream
the other one dreams
they'll both find their solace
and hang out forever

so getting good at anything
is like a delicate balance
you feed it your blood, sweat and tears
they should all go the distance

when it hurts my heart it shakes my soul
when it hurts my hand it's rock and roll

i honestly don't know what's worse
to live a life that's devoid of sincerity
or to seriously pretend you're alive

i don't know what its worth, either
to live a life that's bound to prosperity
but how many beans make five?

two beans, a bean and a half, half a bean and a bean
and a toothbrush and a monkey wrench to clean the space between
the first thing that you'll notice about a has-been
is what it's seen

b-dumm dumm
b-dumm dumm
b-dumm dumm
b-dumm dumm tchka ta weh...
tchka tchka tchka b-dumm

dumm dumm tchka tsk dumm tchka tish
dumm dumm tchka tsk dumm tchka tash
dumm dumm tchka tsk dumm tchka dish
tsk dumm b-dumm dumm tchka dumm bash

b-dumm dumm tish tchka dumm dumm tash
b-dumm dumm tish tchka dumm dumm tash
boom boom boom tchka tchka dumm bash
dumm bash-bash, dm-bash bash, dm-bish

tchka tchka dumm dumm ting
boom boom tchka tchka dumm bash ting
shik shik shika tika tik tik ting
boom boom tchka shika boom ting bish

boom shika tchka boom bash boom ching
boom, b-dumm dumm tika tika tika ting
boom shika shika boom bish bash beng
tika tika tika dumm boom boom ting

boof.. ka tchka boom boom cha
b-boof boof ka tchka boom boom cha
boom boom ka tchka tchka boom tish
tchka tchka dumm tsk tsk (dubudu) kish

(dubudu) (dubudu) (dubudu) tish
(dubudu) (dubudu) dub dub tesh
(dubudu) (dubudu) (dubudu) tsk tchka dish
dub.. b-dub dub taka tchka ting

dub dub tchka tsk dumm tchka ting
dub dub tchka tsk dumm tchka tash
dub dub tchka tsk dumm tchka ting
dub dub dub, b-dub dub dub mmm
b-dub dub dub, b-dub dub dub mmm
b-dub dub dub, b-dub dub dub mmm
b-dub mmm dub
b-dub mmm dub
b-dub
b-dub
b-dummm

round two... FIGHT!

dumm tck-dm dm.. dm dumm
bmm tck-bm dm.. du shakashaka bd..d..d..d..
dumm tck-tck-tck-tck.. dm dumm
bmm tck-bm dm.. dm tika-tika-tika, bdmwe-yo... o

sha-sha-shikki-shikki
dmmm, bdumm be haa-aaa
shikki (boom boom boom boom boom)

tsk-k-tsk-k-tsk-k-tsk
tsk-a-tsk-a-tsk
tsk-aaa, bdumm dnene
bdumn dum dum.. bdamn
(bduh, bduh, bduh)
bdum dumm... tsi-a-tsi-a-tsi-a-ka
btsi-a-tsi-a-tsi.. tshhhup
(bduh, bduh, bduh)
bdum dummm wiki-wiki-wiki boom tcka-tchka-tchka...
btsi-a-tsi-a-tsi.. tshhhhh
(bduh, bduh, bduh, bduh)

boom bah bang chk chkachka ting
tsk-tsk... bdubudu-dubudu
boom... tik-tik chkachka ting
chkachka, chkachka...
chka ting

i've made a few mistakes
in my life
but i've seen a lot
and i've learnt a lot
and i've felt enough to know
that forget is better than forgot

i've taken a few chances
in my time
but i've given much
and i've slipped the clutch
and i've sold enough to show
that today is not tonight

but right now, i hope
that when i die
the earth will **** me in
and chew me up another way
so someone else can soak that in
and make it shine another way

as long as i can
as long as i might
i want to do what's right
so it can start again
so i can do it again
i probably should
and i can

but what's right, is it might, is it should've or can't
is it what if, or what for, or what are the chances
is it power, or clever, or getting it on
is it scraping what's left of it off of the lawn
is it legend, or legendary
nobody knows
nobody knows

but whatever happens
i hope to be my best
so that someone else will benefit
yeah, i hope i'll be my best

god is everywhere
it is the canvas
and i am the ink
that toils
and it boils
and i think

the truth is everywhere
it is a highway
and i am the tar
that binds
and it finds
the black star

i think i've found a way
to make it all okay
to make a bit of sense
in a sycophantic way
theology, philosophy, it's the same
eternal life, paternal strife, the same
chemistry, epistemology, the same
it's all the same

it's what we leave behind
in our work and our deeds and our thoughts
yes, even heaven has a shelf life

i'm just going to say it
exactly like it is:





i think
i've fallen
for you.

soon it will be over
then another one can start
a measure of aggression
an excuse to be apart

if it isn't in the air
if i offered you a voice
you'll never find me there
you made your ******* choice

c'est la vie.

rain is addicted to gravity
pain is addicted to chemistry
love is addicted to empathy
safe is addicted to security
it's all good

dreams are addicted to imagining
age is addicted to hurrying
empty's addicted to nothing
everyone's addicted to something
and it's all good

we all seek comfort and that's just fine
a bit of yours for a bit of mine.

poetry is a celebration of language
with a cast of words
written by thoughts
directed by feelings
produced by passion
videographed by memory
and an audience of millions

change is either something different
or what you swapped for a fiver
i wish i was the solitude
you kept as our provider

change will come and change will go
and change comes from within
i wish i had the aptitude
you took that on the chin

change it for another day
let it stay where we decided
i wish i was the gratitude
in which you had confided

change is good at what it does
takes me squarely out the comfort zone
i wish i was a multitude
in which i kept my own

change is what we represent
as we slowly get older
i wish i had the attitude
i really should have told her

change is what we saw last week
hit me like a hammer
i wish i had the magnitude
and better grammar

i really don't know what it is i need to unsay.

i really hope it doesn't hurt our lives in any way.

i really wish that freedom was equally applied.

i really want to change the past
and redirect the future
and not be blamed
or pushed into a corner
or made to feel
like i'm a waste of time
or that i fit some crime

i really want to know the difference between allowed and okay.

i really wish that everything else would go away.

god knows i've tried.

wanna play chess?
okay, who goes first?
that's apparently racist.
and we see this every day.

when someone gets shut
in a relationship rut
it's so easy to say he's at fault

no matter if logical
trumps economical
someone has taken the salt

so yes i'm dishonest
it's selfish at best
in denial of what i've abused

but no, it's not ignorant
perhaps a bit arrogant
the only defence that i used

i did my best
you chose not to care
instead i get threatened
get given the stare
while i'm getting battoned
and you're over there
with the rest

if i was that way inclined
if i was addicted to chocolate
it wouldn't seem strange
if i went out and bought it
there's no infidelity
even though i sought it

it doesn't have feelings
i guess that's the point
there isn't a mars bar
i'd go out and anoint
or a particular favourite
i'd rather appoint

but it's easy to choose
a muse that's consistent
that makes you get high
that makes me persistent
goes out to assure me
it's never too distant

when i say that i love you
and i'm deeply committed
and then comment on something
that someone else tweeted
don't judge me for something
i haven't admitted

if it wants to be secret
it's already lied
yet love is a language
you don't need to hide
like the milk in the fridge
that already died

not looking for reason
to go and betray you
i don't have a need
to turn us into issue
quite simply, what i know
i'm committed to you

as arrogant as it seems
and i'm pretty **** sure
that of everyone on earth
that shares my tenure
the trust i distill
is always this pure

and despite the fact
that i might get excited
or another recipient
tells you that she liked it
this is all that i have
and right now you're invited

it wasn't my intention
to be this far apart
i'm craving a connection
but i don't know where to start

too precious to ignore
too gorgeous to forget
it burns so much it's sore
but it won't destroy me yet

just know i think about you
every day
and all i wanna tell you
is that i'm okay
and that i'm sorry
and that i don't know what to say

if i were a voltage
and you had a current
would you still try and resist it?

(is another way of saying)

if i had potential
and you a capacitor
would you still try and charge it?

(which means to say)

if i carried weight
and you a bit scarred
would you still try and keep it?

(or in other words)

if i were a beacon
and you were a map
would you still need to enlarge it?

there's beauty here in getting lost
we feel the warmth beneath the frost.

congregations of people rock up
and tell you they're all out of L..
hundreds of people
lovely to see you
hey, how you doing, whassup!

i never really know what to say
because nobody ever gives a F..
hundreds of sinners
loads of beginners
hey, how you doing, okay!

rynard was right, when he told me that night
when there's nothing to say, there's no need to say it
when there's nothing to give, don't give it away
keep it for that rainy day

when pessimists are living with you
and tell you that everything S..
hundreds of reasons
so much malfeasance
hey, how you doing, schweet bru!

i don't want to start up a fight
but please can i borrow a few B..
until i recover
i'll go find another
hey, how you doing, alright!

christine was right, she showed me last night
when there's nothing to say, there's no need to say it
when there's something to give, don't run away
don't ever let it drain away

what i can't do is negotiate peace
when i feel like the cause of the war
i'm not going to do it, capiche?
i don't wanna do this anymore

because my home is sacred, as all are
fragile at best, as we all are
sensitive, even as we all tend to be
my home is an extension of me

so please respect it

i hate
being white
so much
right now

not because
there's nothing i can do about it

but because
there's nothing you can do about it either

apparently
history repeats itself
like clockwork

i woke the same
as i did yesterday
i saw the flame
and tried to pray

all for one, you said
not for some, you said
black hole sun, you said
it didn't come

the day i tried to live
i kept my head down
alive
in the superunknown

but you fell on
black days

so i'll drink to health
while you **** yourself

like suicide

i would hate to live in the fear
of those things
you hate when they're near

in my life i don't ever want to hate
any of those things
but i think it's too late

growing up, getting old
yeah those things
no matter what we're told

living with the hate of this fear
it's those things
that aren't what they're supposed to be

i fear the hate
i hate the fear
i communicate
and they're gone

i don't see what you don't mind
and i don't mind what you don't see
they might seem incompatible

for me, i saw you speak your mind
but i don't mind, i get it
and i'm not about to forget it
i can't, it's unforgettable
sometimes it feels regrettable
completely unimaginable
it might not seem compatible
but it is

if i squint hard enough
i can just see the line
that exists in between
your opinion and mine.

had i let it connect
or just wished it away
i wouldn't have said
what i wanted to say.

when two worlds collide
in a flash of regret
it's best to take heed
it's best to forget.

respect
is a thing
when you least expect it

restraint
is a thing
that lets it go

like a dummy
or a pacifier
is a thing
when you never thought you needed it

complaint
is a thing
that lets it go

like a shower
or a memory
is a thing
when you hold on to it

what it definitely aint
is a thing
that you'll control
but i'll do my best, at your behest
no, besides
its a thing
i'll let it go
as long as you're still in control

it's me
i miisss yookuouoso muruch i dontnowottodoabouutitit
iim acaar fulll of ******, a shipp ffull of sssailas
a ccsamp fullof boyscouutss

it's you
twiddledy-twiddly-twiddle the kknob
pussshing thhe buutons, fiftyytwo, fourtythree, tennn-hup
a maggneticpo leto my compasss

it's us
qmdkksjdjjaiekmkrrrrfkfk, nsdjndf
kkksksiashiuyiddrirttranoth erone, go on, doit
do it aagin, ynotit works dunnitit

it's ours
and from over here it loooks likke
we'll never get tto do it evva again, unnless
itl earns anoth erlanguage
thhatw ebothu ndusttaaaand

I GET THE FUSS

i do
i totally do
i hear talk of 'do what you want but hurt no-one'
by hurt they mean harm, i'm sure
but what's the difference

that war
that vicious war
that thing that says 'war is an attack on our existence'
by existence they mean acceptance, for sure
but what's the difference

my place
my impenetrable place
my need to 'not implicate anyone'
by implicate they mean inconvenience, i'm sure
but what's the difference

there's a dark line
between hurt and inconvenience
isn't there
it just isn't there

in at least 50 words, what is a database?

i guess a repository of information
that's indexed and accessible
easily sortable, amendable and movable
supports atomicity, durability and something else that starts with an i
and has lots of data
lots of data
some more data
and then a bit more data
and even more data
loads of it

there. why do we make things so complicated?

dark
miserable
forgettable
unimaginable
it's obviously
the best that you got out of me
because that's all i can see

but i won't forget it
because you were a part of it
every single bit
imaginable
unforgettable
miserable
and dark

thank you for your time
your patience and your crime
thanks for what you said
we'll never be dead

i'll keep you alive in the palm of my hand
so you can explain it to me when i don't understand

it's not lonely
it's death
because nobody knows

it's not only
my breath
because i need it

it's not next week, or last month or whatever you said
omega to aleph
sleep til next week
i don't mind
i don't care
i do what i want
and say what i should

one last crony
is left
and now we know
now we know

i can't bend your hand
i can't change your mind
what i can do is accept

wherever i land
whatever i find
what i'll do is pay the debt

what debt, you ask?

try to understand
i was always kind
i always gave you respect

draw it in the sand
but spare us the blind
what else did you expect

accept nothing, except
what gives cause to the effect