and suddenly we pause, relax
not so much to leave the tracks
to stop and catch a breath of air
there's plenty of it everywhere
it gets abused, but that's okay
it's said all that it needs to say.

silence has another verse
the seriousness is just as terse
it means so many things, you see
draws a line between you and me
takes the things that make you proud
and makes you say them out aloud.

i heard you, yes i feel the same
a tired, fractured, pointless game
the same we tried to play before
that left me wanting so much more
it took some time to manifest
appreciation at it's best.

thank you for the time we shared
thank you for the times you dared
to let me hang along with you
for giving life a different view
understanding how it goes
is a quality in you that shows.

i watched the planets twinkle
and while they shimmered and shuttered
it seemed they were trying to say something
but they're really far away
600 million miles or thereabouts
and whatever they were saying
they probably said an hour ago
which got me thinking
how unfair it is to think
they were talking to me alone

my galaxy starts blinking
red, green, orange and pink
like it's trying to say something
and it's right next to me

suddenly i'm shrinking
there's always room to shrink
because i don't want to say anything
and you're right next to me

tumbling and sinking
into the solace of the drink
i don't care about anything
except what's right next to me

it takes a long time, waiting
hoping you'd give me a ring
i want it more than anything
but i can't take the call right now
i'm chatting to the stars

such a pity, really
we had such a good weekend
but then you snapped

so silly actually
we were off to see a friend
but then you snapped

he's just got out of icu
and you cooked him up something better than
that hospital food
delicious hospital food
and then you snapped

he was in icu because we put him there
heart attack, maybe, something went wrong
we were on our way
and then you snapped

like that thing in his brain
that made his his heart beat at 202 bpm
that they could only fix by stopping his heart
and then he snapped

so i turned around
i almost walked home
don't know where my keys are
and then i snapped

and all this time
you haven't said a word
except 'there's food for you at home'
and then i snapped

and thought 'let's try this again'
but you still didn't speak
instead you sulked
and so i snapped

you haven't said a word
since we got home, so maybe i should try some of
that hospital food
delicious hospital food
and now i've snapped

but there's something else isn't there?
if there's nothing to say then there's something to hide.
is there something else hidden in there?
sometimes the hubris sneaks out of the pride.
surely.
really?

such a pity.

shame sentimentally suffices some sacrament: strange secondary seekers safely scout such suffrage so suddenly, shake spurious susceptibility southward so strangers seem superficial; supposing such simple servants survive such sycophantic schools sans shouting, scraping, sifting, straightforward striking; some surmise something sustains, something stinks. see? sure. self-sustainable, sick, staggeringly stupid ****.

subtle ****, slip sliding southward, stopping such sudden shudderance.

safe, she says?

soon such seas seem superfluous so... success: scream success! shake secondary security, say secrets, sratch surfaces, scrape sentimental sand so shapes shift sooner; similarly scrub seemingly subtle scars, seven seconds, second severance, something so subliminally separate simplifies shifting solace, sacrificing so solemly saturday's superficial stars.

such sweet serendipity.

skidoosh

b-dumm dumm
b-dumm dumm
b-dumm dumm
b-dumm dumm tchka ta weh...
tchka tchka tchka b-dumm

dumm dumm tchka tsk dumm tchka tish
dumm dumm tchka tsk dumm tchka tash
dumm dumm tchka tsk dumm tchka dish
tsk dumm b-dumm dumm tchka dumm bash

b-dumm dumm tish tchka dumm dumm tash
b-dumm dumm tish tchka dumm dumm tash
boom boom boom tchka tchka dumm bash
dumm bash-bash, dm-bash bash, dm-bish

tchka tchka dumm dumm ting
boom boom tchka tchka dumm bash ting
shik shik shika tika tik tik ting
boom boom tchka shika boom ting bish

boom shika tchka boom bash boom ching
boom, b-dumm dumm tika tika tika ting
boom shika shika boom bish bash beng
tika tika tika dumm boom boom ting

boof.. ka tchka boom boom cha
b-boof boof ka tchka boom boom cha
boom boom ka tchka tchka boom tish
tchka tchka dumm tsk tsk (dubudu) kish

(dubudu) (dubudu) (dubudu) tish
(dubudu) (dubudu) dub dub tesh
(dubudu) (dubudu) (dubudu) tsk tchka dish
dub.. b-dub dub taka tchka ting

dub dub tchka tsk dumm tchka ting
dub dub tchka tsk dumm tchka tash
dub dub tchka tsk dumm tchka ting
dub dub dub, b-dub dub dub mmm
b-dub dub dub, b-dub dub dub mmm
b-dub dub dub, b-dub dub dub mmm
b-dub mmm dub
b-dub mmm dub
b-dub
b-dub
b-dummm

suddenly it appears
in my peripheral periphery
i look like a rabbit
that's just had an epiphany
and stopped and thought, wait!
i could do so much better
i'm right here with you
i should never have let her
say such shackulous things
that flitter and flatter
and cast so much doubt
oh! i wanted to tell her
to not make a shout
he's such a nice fella
he runs and he rides
with the seas and the tides
and takes her to places
he's hidden inside
and inside those places
a crowning awaits
that criminally crawlingly
counterfeit space!

years later, when i think
that i've gathered my garb
and drenched the poor dude
in what most think is arb
and try to reclaim
what i thought i had lost
i didn't consider
what could it have cost?
it couldn't be much
i'm not worth alot
i'm not that much more
than you'd find in the lot
and daringly, raring with
all of my pride
i suddenly showed
what i'd hidden inside

and all in an instant
it all disappeared
those things that i wanted
and totally feared
were vanished along
with my prickly beard
begone! it said with
with a huffulous gruff
you won't find us here
we just don't give a fluff!
we don't want your type
or your arty-farty ways
there's nobody here who
invited you anyways
but that was a while ago
and if your intent
was to drive me away
then i shouldn't have sent
my lawyer to see you
yeah, he knows what's best
what's best for the rest
should be put to the test!

but time has moved on
and i'll never remember
what you had in mind
that fateful september
when you stole my heart
with a bit of panache
and a twist of the wrist
and a crudulous crash
and made me see clearly
how foolish i'd been
to not see the wood
nor the trees inbetween
for this i am grateful
it could have been worse
it could have been me
in the back of the hearse
but the thing that you are
and the kindness you show
takes nothing from those
that are wanting to grow
and that is why you
amongst all of the many
are worth diamonds and gold
and don't cost a penny

so much time
that we afford
and forget we need to use it

so much love
and then forget
how little we afford it

time can get you love
and love will buy some time
money helps.

i really wish i could give you a hug
another surprise to sweep under the rug
i really wish i could take it away
that look in your eye you brought with you to say

but then again i wish i didn't need to
armour wouldn't work if it were see-through
and when it seems we're just about to make it
my armour disappears and i'm all naked

i really wish i had more than these words
another excuse to hang out with the nerds
i really wish i could give you a hug
because then you'll know exactly how i feel.

it's always existed but hasn't yet been
and it promises things that you haven't yet seen
it could be the hope you always look forward to
more often than not it's the rope that you're clinging to
it has no command, no intent, no remorse
it certainly isn't the song that you're singing to
it's just a reminder, it must be, of course
because yesterday's moments get mirrored today
in the hope that it turns out a different way
if i could give more than i already have
tomorrow'd be brighter than it was yesterday
but today is the day i can make that decision
to make a stand against all opposition
do what i do best without compromise
and fix whatever has caused this division
it's always existed but hasn't yet seen
what we're capable of when we say what we mean

with all this mist it's hard to see
the devil creeping up on me
it's worth it, let it go

and everytime i recognise
the pain you keep beneath those eyes
you saw it, let it go

piece by piece we'll build it up
and paint it with a shade of luck
you made it, now it's so

it doesn't hurt because you're here
or that you make it disappear
it hurts, now it's so

i should've tried to tag along
if nothing else i'll still belong
to this, let it go
there's nothing left to show
i did, now it's so
and i'll never let it go

we don't miss
the things that we love
when they're gone

we miss
the things that love us
when we let them go

i say some things
and you say some things
quite often they're all about love

and when they collide
well that gives us resaon
the reader that sees them
gets off on the ride

i came from there
and you came from there
but there is a moment in spacetime

they're not the same thing
and you've got somebody
and i've got somebody
and that's what we bring

i found you
and you found me
we totally found each other
scratch my back
and i'll scratch yours
we'll scratch each other together

i don't want
to leave you alone
for somebody else to discover
i love you
and i really hope
i'll be scratching your back forever

if i were a voltage
and you had a current
would you still try and resist it?

(is another way of saying)

if i had potential
and you a capacitor
would you still try and charge it?

(which means to say)

if i carried weight
and you a bit scarred
would you still try and keep it?

(or in other words)

if i were a beacon
and you were a map
would you still need to enlarge it?

there's beauty here in getting lost
we feel the warmth beneath the frost.

you tell the truth when you sleep
the people you mind
the secrets you keep

you tell the truth when you're alone
and that's probably why
you can't hear it

we make use of what we own
the things that we keep
the bits that we find

and always give back what we loan
when we don't need it
give it a try

a few hours ago i was vulnerable
like the slimy green gums of the pavement
yet some of it was tasty
(impatient means it's boring)
i shouldn't have been so hasty
(isn't worth ignoring)

a few hours ago i felt terrible
like i was part of the next government
i tried to create some sense
(i clearly wasn't winning)
but it came behind a sentence
(and everyone was grinning)

i know i should have given it my best
i'm pretty sure it passed the test
but drives it in too deep
flies in way too steep
if only i could keep
a secret
i wouldn't have to lie at all


the last few months have been that hazy
like i was a part of an indelible accident
that you probably didn't mind
(aim before you throw)
not sure what stays behind
(dig before you sow)

the last few years have been that crazy
i hoped it was going to be permanent
that little bit of rock n roll
(i tried to learn your language)
was definitely worth my soul
(and used it like a bandage)

i reckon that it might make a mark
it only begins with a spark
but then while you're asleep
the dreams you could reap
if only i could keep
a secret
the perforated sky might fall


the next few days i must accept
whatever fits into your judgement
pretend that i want more
(am i serious now)
or go back to before
(as if i knew how)

it isn't what i meant to say
it's that i went and said it anyway.

what i've taken for granted
i'll never regret
but the damage i've caused
i'll never forget

silence is awesome
but it doesn't come cheap
you have to convince everyone
that it's okay.

imagine a world where you can do what you want
imagine a world where you could truly be free
imagine what you'd do with your spare time
imagine what you could create
or harvest

now
imagine if that happened at everyone else's expense
imagine if you could take what's not yours
imagine the legacy you'd leave behind
imagine how many you'd trample
or harvest

i'd be scared, or ashamed, whichever comes first
this is south africa
i live here
please stop ******* it up

ground beef
nice dream
eat ****

keep it to yourself
whatever your intention is
it shows

i dare you to prove me wrong.

be kind, always.

what is your vice
what is your virtue
and what is your wand

or

what ****** you off
what do you want
and how can you fix it

for me it's the other way round, you see
my vice is i want to be heard
my virtue constructive debate
my wand just ran out of batteries

there are just two things that make it my song
the fact that i sang it
and the fact that you listened
everything else is just music

opinions are our way of evaluating the world around us
and deciding which part of it what we want to belong to

the rules are the guidelines that get put up around us
and caution us from doing things even though we want to

yet rules are opinions collected
and therefore they should be respected
each one of us has something to hide
but the law must be equally applied
until such time as everyone takes responsibility for themselves, their kin, their stash and their environment, all of us, all at the same time, honestly and decisively, but i don't see that happening for a while.

i love everyone
every single one
and everything
every little thing

thank seminal thought
because i never thought
that anyone's special
everyone's special

trust is subtractive by nature
its purpose as random as nature
but i'm only willing to trade
what you might be willing to trade


so i trust what know
and i love what i don't
i use it as currency
in case of emergency

it can buy me your time
bit of yours, bit of mine
i love what i trust
and i know what i don't


at the end of it all it's human nature to seek comfort, and sometimes that happens at the expense of others, whether it's intentional or not.

but when it happens to me it turns the other way round, and i hate what i know, and i fear what i don't, and run devils in the dirt just to make it feel better, to make it make sense or even emulate better; get out of the way, let you have your own way, let you throw it away, hope you find your own way, or just flush it away, i don't care anyway, just in case you forgot.

the things that i hate don't exist
though memory says they existed.
the fear that i try not to feel
destroys me whenever i feel it.
i value the trust that i've earned
precisely because i have earned it.
the love i hold on to has worth
precisely because it is worth it.

the light
at the end of the tunnel
was actually a signpost that read
'maybe you should've chosen another tunnel'
so i took it down
because it didn't belong there
and carried on

it must be a combination
of what you expect
and what i provide
that makes everyone take it so seriously

it could be retaliation
a solid precept
that makes us divide
and we all mistake that so mysteriously

it hurts to be found in the one place i know
all battered and bruised but still part of the show
it hurts to admit i was found in the dust
amidst all of the things that you said i would trust
it hurts to remind myself why
i became so insatiably shy
the depth that i saw in your eyes
the colour i saw in those skies
an unrequited lullaby
an unintended alibi
it hurts me to tell you but know that i must
forever conceal what lies under this crust
no matter how badly i want it to glow
no matter how well it can flirt from below

it might be the fascination
that makes me reflect
on how much we hide
and poison the fray inconspicuously
i shouldn't have acted so viciously

it's my cruel imagination
i dared to inspect
i'll keep it inside
and i'll practice until it speaks consciously
i shouldn't have acted so viciously

frustration is something that happens only to me
i shouldn't have acted so viciously
that scar is the half that i don't want to be
i shouldn't have acted so viciously
it's just a small notch above what you can see
i shouldn't have acted
another attempted analogy
i shouldn't
and i'm sorry
*i shh

we found you alive
welcome to our family
thank you for coming

the sweet sunshine
brings warmth even to the deepest dark

your smile
brings warmth even to the coldest heart

so smile like the sun
and keep on shining

all possibilities happen at once
all at the same time
it's what we choose that's relevant

all opportunities happen at once
all at the same time
it's what we use that's relevant

all communication happens at once
all at the same time
it's what we hear that's relevant

but in that moment
when you find a forest
with a sunrise in it
that happens for you and you alone
that will happen only once
it gets me every time
and will always be relevant

safe as houses
old as dirt
a chick's best skill
is how to flirt

the troubling thing about the existence of god
is that there's no direct proof
but there's definitely something that keeps us alive
or more precisely motivated

when i look back at the interesting life that i've trod
and feel damaged and aloof
i want to believe that i managed to survive
but it's so much more complicated


beauty in complexity
is all there needs to be
distracted by futility
i'll never get to see
trapped in the complicity
of me

it isn't really what we feel
it's what we're willing to share
and just because it isn't real
doesn't mean we're never there

communication has its fault
you'll get it when you're ready
so take it with a pinch of salt
i'll keep it slow and steady

i know that time will make it heal
i don't like to compare
but just because it isn't real
doesn't mean i'm never there

if i squint hard enough
i can just see the line
that exists in between
your opinion and mine.

had i let it connect
or just wished it away
i wouldn't have said
what i wanted to say.

when two worlds collide
in a flash of regret
it's best to take heed
it's best to forget.

wanna play chess?
okay, who goes first?
that's apparently racist.
and we see this every day.

change is either something different
or what you swapped for a fiver
i wish i was the solitude
you kept as our provider

change will come and change will go
and change comes from within
i wish i had the aptitude
you took that on the chin

change it for another day
let it stay where we decided
i wish i was the gratitude
in which you had confided

change is good at what it does
takes me squarely out the comfort zone
i wish i was a multitude
in which i kept my own

change is what we represent
as we slowly get older
i wish i had the attitude
i really should have told her

change is what we saw last week
hit me like a hammer
i wish i had the magnitude
and better grammar

so getting good at anything
is like pushing up a measure
letting it get good at itself
brings a different kind of pleasure

i've seen too many people try to get clever
and think they're immune
i bet they're immune
pretend to be honest
and hang out forever

this pattern will happen forever and ever
and those that are smart
you'll know if they're smart
have hidden a promise
and hang out forever

two atoms apart that will never be severed
the one makes the dream
the other one dreams
they'll both find their solace
and hang out forever

so getting good at anything
is like a delicate balance
you feed it your blood, sweat and tears
they should all go the distance

when it hurts my heart it shakes my soul
when it hurts my hand it's rock and roll

i'm not the same
as i was fourteen years ago
then i bought that house

i'm not the same
as i was nine years ago
then i had a kid

i'm not the same
as i was five years ago
then i got that job

i'm not the same
as i was two minutes ago
then read that thing

when it gets to the middle the book will flip over
as it does when you read it from cover to cover
the magnificent light that got drawn up inside
goes and shines its way out from the opposite side

time is a strange gift
we give to one another
but can't keep ourselves

nothing is absolute, because

i can drive as far as i can
and know i've seen the continent

i can think as far as i can
and know i've reached my imagination

i can study as far as i can
and know i've attained a professorship

i can listen as far as i can
and know i've heard it all

i can give as much as i can
and know it's never enough

i can drift as much as i can
and know i'm still ******* lost

nothing is absolute, except *****
because at least with *****, i'll always be relatively ******.

the love that we share
is something that i never
have to dream about

dreams are things you make up when you sleep
some of them cool
some of them terrible
some of them memorable
some of them horrible
some of them drool

but there is a small certainty
that they're everything you
and exist as a probablility
that you need to pursue
as unlikely as it seems
from the ash to the dust
what we learn from our dreams
we should trust

identity
we all have it
i am me and you are it
what it is that i know is for you to find out
if i work really hard and get good at it it'll earn me a living
but if everyone knew what everyone else knows
there'd be nothing to sell
and nothing to buy
nothing to share
and nothing to hide
nothing to tell
and nothing to write
nothing to fear
and nothing to hate
nothing to look forward to
and nothing to be proud of

but if i manage to keep that ace up my sleeve
that influences time or even technology
that makes the unbendable sceptics believe
that notable pattern in astrology

what i see is mine because i saw it first
and i saw it explode with a perfunctory burst
it might make no sense whatsoever
but that isn't going to last forever

because if you knew what i knew i wouldn't be me
or have we forgotten what it means to be free
or have we given in to our own charity
or would we oblige to that old blasphemy
that says even sinners deserve sanctuary
or is altruism a strange alchemy
or a studious drive to epistemology
or a political divide over ideology
that critically questions theology

we need to keep secrets because that's who we are
but we also need to be fair

the earth and the trees
and the visceral breeze
the distance it takes to its end
five nights with freddy
and everything's ready
to start what it needs to amend.

and then there's a spark
the black and the dark
a distorted reality field
if i could choose either
i'd probably want neither
i'd wait for whatever's revealed.

so when there's no choice
when i've run out of voice
it doesn't mean time has an end
i wish that i'd practiced
those things that i missed
and i'll willingly let them amend.

and when we connect
it'll never be perfect
and that's why i went my own way
and now that i miss you
please know that i miss you
and that's all that i wanted to say.

one day when you're a space engineer
come look me up and i'll buy you a beer.

one of the first songs i learnt to play on a guitar
was about a guy in space
while planet earth was blue
and there was nothing he could do
so he came back

and wrote a bunch more songs i can can play on a guitar
about heathens and spaceboys
and a guy called picasso
who was never an *******
but never came back

and in between he morphed a few times
assumed many guises
genies, heroes and dancers
rebels, dreamers and monsters
and never looked back

and i chuckle to think that up there on mars
whoever he's selling the world to
be it all the young dudes
or you in your red shoes
needn't give it back

i feel grateful for being part of it
all you've left behind
at least one thing is sure
there isn't any more pressure
and i've got your back

are there certain things you have knowledge of but not felt?

when people need things they'll lie.
they'll tell you they need it.
they'll tell you you did things
you never conceded.

those people stand apart.
that's what they choose.
they treat you as if
you've got nothing to lose.

but i'm not alone
though it certainly seems it.
i don't have a tongue
or a very sharp wit.

yet sometimes applause
cascades over me.
like a scene from my life
that has no memory.

i get as close as i can
because i wanna get picked.
i feel like a grateful
insatiable addict.

as hard as i try
i'll never remember
what i was accused of
that epic december.

the cat in the hat
said you owe me a debt.
i'll probably forgive
but i'll never forget.

but that didn't work.
my life's not in tatters.
i'm alive and can love
and that's all that matters.

i hope that helped.

it always has a seed.

we dream, we love, we write, we wake
we scream, we crave, we spite, we take
we look, we hold, we think, we knew

we shook, we gave, we thought of you
we gave, we thought you wouldn't mind
we thought it wouldn't be unkind

we try to find some honesty
we try to fein alacrity
we try to give it what it needs
we try to sow some different seeds

but your specific feather
needs a certain kind of weather
and i want to be the tether
that clings to you forever
and glides throughout your zephyr
reflects off all your leather

or a spy within a castle
with everything to hide
or a creepy little rascal
who found his way inside
or a droid up on a planet
with a tendency to slide
or how about a snake
that sneaks in from the side

and then gigantic monoliths
that seep out of the ground
an orchestra that's tuned to fifths
and makes an epic sound

a legacy that's shorter
contained in bricks and mortar
brings nothing but disorder

and this is why i read.

all work and no pay
makes jack a poor boy

all jack and no play
and jill is full of laughter

all jill and no say
makes jack a play boy

all work and no play
and jill came tumbling after

here's the way i see it.

i'm an artist, a writer, a gambler, a fighter, a scientist, a scholar, a critic, a failure, a dramatist, a dreamer, a peddler, a nuisance, a bassist, a wanderer, a magician, a follower, a therapist, a liar, a professional, a healer, a pacifist, a chisel, a storyteller, a mathemetician, a physicist, a cook, a puzzler, a loser, a programmer, a lawnmower, a supporter, a musician, a tape-deck, a mirror, a survivor, and a dude.

i'm not very good at any of it.

keep doing what you're good at
it's easy to do
the rest of it is practise

a clock without a maker
is improbable at best

so many moving parts
precision engineered
there's a chorus of hearts
that noise that i feared
the moment it starts

so at your sudden behest
i will hasten to wake her