when i thought you had left me i feared the worst
but that wasn't the thing that hit me first
it wasn't the distance we so far had travelled
or the damage that i knew that we'd somehow unravelled

it wasn't the promises we said that we'd made
or the ring on my finger that i proudly displayed
it wasn't the trust that we'd found in each other
or the comfort i thought that you'd found in another

it wasn't the me, or the why, or the now
or the reason that why seems to matter somehow
it wasn't the space in between, now it seems
there was something stitched closely to the edge of the seams

but now you are here
and i am the now
and that is back there
and this is how

we start from the beginning, get back to the winning
take care of the issues that keeps us fulfilling
each other
with the love that we found
so true and profound
and will keep us together
forever

you know this to be true, because
the only one who knows this is you

and here, between the complicated mess of my existence
and the space between our faces that has measured some resistance
i find myself compassionate, like that, within a instance
i'm drawn to her precisely because of her insistence

love is not a thing that makes us worry about the past
it shouldn't be as hurried as though it wouldn't be as fast
but somewhere in there, something comes alive, and then at last
i fell in love her so brilliantly, like the click behind the blast

of opportunity, you see
it means the same to me
it's not what we've reflected
but the fact that we're connected

the you and me, the need
to feel the same way that i do
through the reason that we bleed
to the consequence it leads to

and so...

there's nothing that i'd rather do than spend another day with her
and nothing that i want to do than create another metaphor
and all i want to manifest is nothing but the best for her
and make everything better

for you, and me
and all it's meant to be
for now
forever
for us

that twinkle in your eye
that you wanted me to see
is the only reason why
it gets reflected back at me

another set of circumstances
might have changed the dice
and used up all my second chances
couldn't count the price

not believing what i have
is not what it's about
it's not concealing safety as
the dirt beneath the grout

but who you are and what you do
means everything to me
and i hope that what i mean to you
everyone can see

a zephyr of desire
a truth that's meant to be
the warmth within the fire
the waves within the sea

i know we'll find a way
then we'll show them how it's done
and that's all i want to say
i think that you're the one

whichever way you play it
if you don't want to say it
i won't say it either

whichever way you want it
however we confront it
i totally believe her


you might think it's madness
it doesn't really matter though
my measure of her kiffness
i'm pretty sure by now you know
has cured of me of my blindness
her eyes already said so


we're on the same page
i know, she knows
and it shows

i'm just going to say it
exactly like it is:





i think
i've fallen
for you.

for years and years i've tried to keep my head above the water
the line between the darkness and the sunshine that defines it
for years i've wondered what it is i'd ever get to tell her
if the line between those metaphors was ever that complicit
for years and years and years that opportunity got shorter
the lines between the lines that never fit

i'm still alive - i'm forty-five - that doesn't really matter
the years that happened in between don't really seem to mind it
feels like every time i try to stick my head out of the gutter
the lines that keep connecting us are ever more explicit
and every time my fishing line retracts a little shorter
my heart, my soul is telling me to let it

that lonely deck of cards that's being led towards the slaughter
that slow persistent hopefulness that wants to take me with it
with every waking moment i can't wait to get to know her
and shower it with words so even i could never miss it
the distance to that end looks like it's finally getting shorter
and something in me tells me not to quit

they say fortune favours the brave
but right now it favours the dave

you know what

it's unbelievably incredible to me
whenever life seems too good to be true
everybody says:
'if you're ever in town, anytime, call me up'

but when you do call
there's nobody there

it's utterly remarkable to me
whenever life gets a little bit too dark
everybody says:
'if you need any help, anything at all, just ask'

but when you do ask
there's nobody there
there's just nobody there at all


wasn't loud enough, was i
lather, rinse, repeat

beautiful things
come at just the right time
the universe sings
so sweet and sublime

the wood for the trees
the sea for the sand
the wind for the breeze
the hurt for the hand...

honesty teaches you reverence
solitude teaches you severance
reality teaches you consequence
the effect this has had on my confidence


beautiful things
come at just the right time
and it's time

that tiny little crack in time
that you think you've been searching for
has already been
or is waiting to happen
or...
you could take the now
that you already have
and bash it as hard as you possibly can
until it cracks

don't mistake my kindness for weakness
and please don't take me for granted
you'll know the difference
accept nothing less than what you see
you see
because
we all have a burden
and sometimes we could all do with a br ea..k ..
someone to talk to
someone who'll listen
it makes all the difference
between being taken for granted
and being that kind of weak

you're never alone
but you don't always know it
i know how you feel
but you don't always show it

the last time anyone
shone through my soul
it burnt

the last time i trusted anyone
and shone a light through their soul
i learnt

to be careful
and wary
and think twice
about doing that again
because it hurt

congregations of people rock up
and tell you they're all out of L..
hundreds of people
lovely to see you
hey, how you doing, whassup!

i never really know what to say
because nobody ever gives a F..
hundreds of sinners
loads of beginners
hey, how you doing, okay!

rynard was right, when he told me that night
when there's nothing to say, there's no need to say it
when there's nothing to give, don't give it away
keep it for that rainy day

when pessimists are living with you
and tell you that everything S..
hundreds of reasons
so much malfeasance
hey, how you doing, schweet bru!

i don't want to start up a fight
but please can i borrow a few B..
until i recover
i'll go find another
hey, how you doing, alright!

christine was right, she showed me last night
when there's nothing to say, there's no need to say it
when there's something to give, don't run away
don't ever let it drain away

what i can't do is negotiate peace
when i feel like the cause of the war
i'm not going to do it, capiche?
i don't wanna do this anymore

because my home is sacred, as all are
fragile at best, as we all are
sensitive, even as we all tend to be
my home is an extension of me

so please respect it

i sometimes feel like i'm a bit too sweet
that enacts in everyone the 'go away' effect
though i'm shy
and indiscreet
and tasty? i think

but these days i feel like i'm a marshmallow
that enacts in some of us the 'hey' effect
good to meet you
melts on your tongue
doesn't it? i think

and the more you let it melt away
the lonelier it felt, and today
was exactly that rapport
so when can i get some more

in another time i might have been a superhero
and someone else would be called the heroine
we could have watched a movie called less than zero
i mean who does that right
no, wait... cut cut cut cut, let's try that again

oh thank you daveman, you saved us
(she says with a grin)
oh thank you
(she winks)
you're pretty hot
(she thinks)
there's danger, let's ****

and then i woke up

of course he's a leader
people follow him
whether he does it well enough
depends on where you are

it could be behind him
it could be in front of him
it could be the other side of the planet
who knows

there are people that teach
and there are people that do
the quality of a leader depends entirely on you

time is a thing and it's useful
instead it becomes an excuse
a tree as a thing can be fruitful
everything down to the root
scars are a thing and they whisper
secrets from under the whisp
i always try to be truthful
but it gets in the way of my youth

some scars are severe
some indelibly permanent
some can be dangerously near

but what happened that year
has been pretty persistent
and yes, i wish you were here

yes, i wish i had nothing to do with it, and i wish i'd never have met you, but that's not true, i followed it through and i'm all for the better, umbrella, the shade from the sun that you shone that left sunburns that scream and cry and shame me for hating and scraping and flaking and breaking and making and hurting and trying to buy my way out of this...

but i can't, because otherwise it wouldn't be a scar, right?

it used to be a state of mind
but mind the step, excuse the time
it doesn't matter what you find
the passion for the crime

but in the end when it's inept
that depth is where you'll need the time
it doesn't matter why you kept
the rhythm for the rhyme

but what if you were not prepared
and spared the consequence this time
it doesn't matter why you shared
the gristle for the grime

it used to be a state of mind
you'll find it in another time
it doesn't matter if you're that kind
of person, i guess, because
beyond the choke
way past the joke
those choices disappear
as if they were never even here

it doesn't matter what you'll find
this loneliness is so unkind
it used to be a state of mind
and now it's gone

the reason why i write these silly little poems
is not because you'll read them
oh god no
it's because if you did
at least i'd have something to say

we see a million things around us
all the time
and sometimes
none of it makes sense

we see a million things around us
second time
but this time
none of it makes sense

fool me once, fool me twice
another time
and every single time
none of it made any sense at all

except that one time
when it did make sense
enough to want to pay attention to it
and there wasn't enough time

if i was set adrift in a sea of doubt
there'd be no doubt
if i could see

if i were to imagine the drought
there'd be no drought
or famine

but i can't
because i'm .............
wood for the trees
salt for the seas
sympathy for the devil, all that

does me being less me
mean you being more you
or does me being more me
mean you being less you
an arrogant economy
that tries hard to forget you
and it's hard, god it's so hard
to find that delicate ******* balance

between what's right and what's wrong
and where you know you belong
because earth is the place where everyone lives
and everyone learns how to forgive

be it the choices you made
way back in fifth grade
or the people you listen to
while they're hurling resent at you

it's never too late
so why wait

suddenly it seems, the seas
remind me of the trees
but then the freeze
that makes me sneeze
another lock against the door

somewhere in my dreams, it seems
behind my selfish screams
that all the greed
behind my need
is always coming back for more

if i am lost then you're alone
you know you're never on your own
as useless as a megaphone
implicitly complicit
like a good idea
on crack

respect
is a thing
when you least expect it

restraint
is a thing
that lets it go

like a dummy
or a pacifier
is a thing
when you never thought you needed it

complaint
is a thing
that lets it go

like a shower
or a memory
is a thing
when you hold on to it

what it definitely aint
is a thing
that you'll control
but i'll do my best, at your behest
no, besides
its a thing
i'll let it go
as long as you're still in control

advertising
likes to punch you in the face
so you hear it
loud and clear

when you left
after you punched me in the face
made me fear it
clear and present

social media
tends to punch you in the face
when you let it
presently clear

i don't regret a thing
i stand by what i said, i miss you
no matter what you bring try not to punch me in the head

it's not allowed, out loud

i am a suitcase
full of memories
i'm the best thing
you had last year

i am the ketchup
on your french fries
i am the best thing
you had last year

i am the puzzle
to your solution
i am the best thing
you had last year

i am the flashlight
to your darkness
i am the best thing
you had all year

better wake him up
better shake him up
better wake him up
so he can hear

it was only that last time
that last time
that one and only time
you were here

i am the duct tape
sealing all your boxes
i am the best thing
you had all year

i am the usual
minding my own business
i am the best thing
eight long years

better listen now
better listen how
better listen to what you thought
was so severe

it was only that last time
that very last time
that was the only time
you were ever
really
here

i give what i can and won't when i can't
watch the reflection bounce off of the slant
i'm not inconspicuous, that much is true
better the devil that's hidden in you

for all of my yearning, my discourse remains
thoroughly, utterly, horribly strange
and so to the skeptic, or he who complains
it isn't too late to arrange

i won't when i can't and i want what i give
because surely that's the best way to live
as loud as i shout, to the deaf and the broken
it will never compare to the day i'd awoken

taken for granted, that sounds about right
deliberately, knowingly doing the same
this and that, ***-for-tat, it'll all be alright
a whisper from somewhere outside of the frame
when there's nobody else to blame
it's your fault

i've made a few mistakes
in my life
but i've seen a lot
and i've learnt a lot
and i've felt enough to know
that forget is better than forgot

i've taken a few chances
in my time
but i've given much
and i've slipped the clutch
and i've sold enough to show
that today is not tonight

but right now, i hope
that when i die
the earth will **** me in
and chew me up another way
so someone else can soak that in
and make it shine another way

as long as i can
as long as i might
i want to do what's right
so it can start again
so i can do it again
i probably should
and i can

but what's right, is it might, is it should've or can't
is it what if, or what for, or what are the chances
is it power, or clever, or getting it on
is it scraping what's left of it off of the lawn
is it legend, or legendary
nobody knows
nobody knows

but whatever happens
i hope to be my best
so that someone else will benefit
yeah, i hope i'll be my best

dark, alone, and wondering
what'll happen to the light
when the sun comes out

are you okay?

yeah, i suppose
i'm in a bit of a state of wth
a state of honest introspection
i'm trying to gather together all of the ends
i need to mend

but actually
i'm in a bit of a state of ***
where did i lose that perfection
i'm trying to convince all of my friends
to what end, i wonder

i wonder where i would've been had i just let it go
i wonder how my secrets are starting to show now
i wonder how so many of you know

i wonder what would've happened had i just stepped up
i wonder what it's like to get out of the snow now
i wonder if i should probably give up

and into that dream
like a breeze, it breathes
immaculate

it's not real, it's not even close
it doesn't even get to the start
it's not loose
nor elusive
it just doesn't want to be apart
from this
this addictive remiss
it doesn't want to be a part of it
yet it should
be apart, so it should
remind us of what we would miss
just by saying no, just once
let it go beneath the shade
if it wants to serenade
let it, if it wants
if it wants to be free, let it soar
if it wants to be alone, let it
let it be whatever it wants to be
let it see what you saw
and never want to see it again
we entice, and ignore
and sit back while it takes shape
hope, fate, whatever you want
you know what you want but i can't

round two... FIGHT!

dumm tck-dm dm.. dm dumm
bmm tck-bm dm.. du shakashaka bd..d..d..d..
dumm tck-tck-tck-tck.. dm dumm
bmm tck-bm dm.. dm tika-tika-tika, bdmwe-yo... o

sha-sha-shikki-shikki
dmmm, bdumm be haa-aaa
shikki (boom boom boom boom boom)

tsk-k-tsk-k-tsk-k-tsk
tsk-a-tsk-a-tsk
tsk-aaa, bdumm dnene
bdumn dum dum.. bdamn
(bduh, bduh, bduh)
bdum dumm... tsi-a-tsi-a-tsi-a-ka
btsi-a-tsi-a-tsi.. tshhhup
(bduh, bduh, bduh)
bdum dummm wiki-wiki-wiki boom tcka-tchka-tchka...
btsi-a-tsi-a-tsi.. tshhhhh
(bduh, bduh, bduh, bduh)

boom bah bang chk chkachka ting
tsk-tsk... bdubudu-dubudu
boom... tik-tik chkachka ting
chkachka, chkachka...
chka ting

i wish that i was effervescent
sometimes
the rain would sort that out
i wish i was a pale shade of grey

i wish that i was totally indifferent
sometimes
to be within and not without
the pain would slowly drain away

and sometimes
i wish i was the canvas
your watercolours wash against
slide beneath the present tense

nothing less, nothing more
score, four, the one thing i adore
openly, decidedly
the wickedness you took from me
the stitcher that you chose to be

sometimes
oh yes, i'm ready
let it rain down
let it rain

the state of the state
it's a bit of a state
it lies, and it hates
it takes and it takes

gauteng freedom fighters
gauteng freedom fighters
gauteng freedom fighters
boom boom boom boom

julius...
julius...
juliaas...
on point!

gauteng freedom fighters
gauteng freedom fighters
gauteng freedom fighters
boom boom boom boom

it'll all make sense
in present tense
a ***** is a *****
that got the grade

gauteng freedom fighters
gauteng freedom fighters
freedom fighters wena
boom boom boom boom

julius...
julius...
juliaaas...
ubaba ka duduzane!

a message from the past
as azure and astute
as it was back then

it's always been there
as benign and berated
as it was back then

you asked me, so i kept it safe
as amazing and astounding
as it was back then

and it's always been there
as begun and begotten
as it ever was back then

it's a symbol of what everything means to me now
a sneaky, subliminal confirmation of how
you trusted me right from the very beginning
that didn't decide what i thought i'd be bringing
it's something that's closer than ever before
and it's hidden behind an impossible door
so i've worn this thing around my neck
each and every night that i've gone to bed
since i made that re-acquaintance
as if i ever had the patience
or all the gratitude in the world

i could open up the internet
and find out
a lot about you

and there are a few ways
to do this
anonymously

i could open up an onion route
and really find out
everything about you

and love you in a million ways
without you never, ever
knowing who i am

i could pretend it never happened
all of this
but you know we won't forget

once scarred, twice shy, and three times complete
this is how i start to trust the ground beneath my feet

it's not final, surely
that's the tragedy
it's not the beginning
or the end
it's not the start
nor the excuse
it's what it is
a hot, smelly mess
a time to reflect
on what we have left
it means something, doesn't it

today
i heard the voices
in my head
proper
what's wrong with you
whassup
what's going on
i don't know
why are you stumbling like that
i dunno
i want
all of this to go away
i want everything to end
but hang on dave
it'll be okay
hang in there, it'll all make sense
let it go, by all means
keep it to yourself
feel as much as you can, whatever
of course it hurts
let it bleed
you're just not ready yet

how many times can you say the word oxygen in one breath?
ha haa, i thought so.

reach for it with both hands
if you can
hold on to it
reach it from both sides

reach it through the storm
when you do
make the most of it
reach between the lines

teach them what you know
if you can
hold on to it
teach them what it means

teach another lesson
when you do
make the most of it
a teacher's what it needs

don't feel left out, you know what it's about
you had me fooled the first time, and i'm out

'why's it so secret?'
i asked
just moments before
she didn't tell me

chasing walls
in the hope that
they'll catch up
is like admitting
that we put them there
in the first place

it's happened already, we know this, for sure
but nothing solidifies it more concretely
as when i hear you say it to your friends

it happened a year ago, completely, for sure
because when we both started acting discretely
i had already seen two different ends

one in which the path would straighten
and we'd grow the same way, as before
one in which we end up so far apart
that it wouldn't
matter
it might even have healed by now
but i didn't anticipate the third
or the fourth
or the fifth
nor the sixth
the seventh, eleventh
the eighth, the hate
the ninth, not mine
not even yours, surely

because i really care for you, and i don't want you to die
i just want us to be honest about what's left of you and i

i honestly don't know what's worse
to live a life that's devoid of sincerity
or to seriously pretend you're alive

i don't know what its worth, either
to live a life that's bound to prosperity
but how many beans make five?

two beans, a bean and a half, half a bean and a bean
and a toothbrush and a monkey wrench to clean the space between
the first thing that you'll notice about a has-been
is what it's seen

now i have a story to tell
because i always wanted to be a writer, and
i didn't worry about it
i watched the world spin past me, and
so i sat quietly in the corner
none of it was making any sense, and
i really wanted to document it
i wanted to figure out what went wrong, and
now it hurts like hell


some things go from bad to worse
and others can only get better
sometimes i wish it had been in reverse
or i'd read it the other way round.

i don't feel a thing
so i shouldn't feel afraid
it's not natural

it's not like i planned this
way back in atlantis
though this is what history preferred

it's not like i wanted
to be taken for granted
it's just what the mystery inferred

it's not circumstantial
or in any way minuscule
it's not like i caught myself out

but if i could be truthful
if just for this mouthful
when you're ready, just give me a shout

if you need a bit more, i'll be here
if you need me to go, i'll be way over there
if you need me to love you
i'm gonna think twice
and i'll listen to reason
no matter the price

but if you keep on pretending
like nothing needs mending
i'll help you swallow that pill

if you want me to be
then let me be free
sure, it'll be superficial

but right now i've got nothing to hide
so you can take someone else for a ride

i know some things that you don't
and you have some things of mine
i don't know if you remember
where we had even drawn the line

to be fair
to be sure
where do you want to be
because i'm here
and i'm sure
you want to be with me

but your terms are bent
can't even pay the rent
so i'll let you
destroy me
to be sure
to be fair

so right now i'm drawing a line
from now to next september
i'll hang on to what is left of mine
and know there are things that i won't

let go of... oh forget about it, anyway
it seems like it was yesterday
that you saw what i could hide
so you took me for a ride
and i, like a surfer to a sand dune
said okay

stuck inside the same voracious loop
that spins around like laundry
better hang it out to dry, couldn't tell you why
it wouldn't be the same

hanging with the same old group
significant but ******
better pay attention, here begins the lesson
it shouldn't be the same

the extent of my imagination leaves no doubt
whenever you feel the need to shout
i don't mind what you're leaving me without
besides, it's not about
you

it's not about me, nor them
it's not about the things that could have been
the space between, is this a dream
it's not the same
it's not the same

for once, let me bleed
through the silence and the need
see what i've done wrong
and i concede

i knew you knew it all along
that i'm not supposed to be that strong
but i think i have a seed
and you're wrong

i dream about us both at night
i dreamt about us both, and then
i realise we both were right
i realised we hustled them

i know that we were lock-nut tight
i knew that we were locked, and then
i push against the need to fight
i pushed against them all

if only i had found you in a dream
i wouldn't need
to go to sleep at all
if only i'd convinced them to believe
i wouldn't need
to sleep

the sharp breeze
occurs to me
like memories

the light beams
reflect off of me
like teflon

and suddenly
the part of me
the things i say

the last scene
the end of me
come get some

the same strange, stupid stuff
you know you've done enough
when it stabs you in the back
the baggage
the damage
the call