i am not alone
but i am unique
maybe that's why i feel lonely

then again maybe not
i totally forgot
what we were talking about in the first place

and then she fell silent
and i never heard her again
she said some things, sure
shouted some others
ignored me to the point of near suicide, and then

she crumpled up my dignity
squashed it to bits
took whatever she could
and then
she did it all over again

a fish out of water
what i would give to be
that fish

where do you go when you're full to the brim
back to the beginning, i guess

where do you go when your country doesn't want you
back to where you came from, i guess

where do you go when you're misunderstood
back to the laboratory, i guess

but when those tests have passed
and we all start to change
when it happens so fast
and it all seems so strange
when something so innocent
becomes so deranged
what then

where do you go when you need to confide
i've run out of places to hide

the light that i seek
is not rare
it's just there
and that's precisely why i am drawn to it

the light that i seek
isn't yours
has no cause
and that's precisely what you've exploited

you see, for me, it seems
you've run out of enemies
when in fact you've run out of friends
used up all your hypocracies
tried too hard to make those amends
when nothing needs to be fixed
no more tricks
hate only exists because there's not enough love
nothing is real except death from above

but the light that i seek
isn't here
because you switched it off
when you thought i wouldn't come home

and the more that i stare
at the fear
the darker it is

i feel
i feel drained, should i
i feel empty, tired and used

i'm real
i'm really fed up, should i
i'm really not very good at this

i think
i think you love me, should i
i think you're the hole in the sink

and as much as i keep filling it up
you just keep on pulling the plug
let it get to the brim, please

you say i spend my time living it up
but i think there's more under the rug
let's get to the rub, please

let me find my own way
and i can help you with yours

because nature has a funny way of helping those who help themselves, in and of itself, myself

and i think that nature has a means to an identity, the wealth, the stealth, the self

i need to be me before i can ever be a part of you.

it's me
i miisss yookuouoso muruch i dontnowottodoabouutitit
iim acaar fulll of ******, a shipp ffull of sssailas
a ccsamp fullof boyscouutss

it's you
twiddledy-twiddly-twiddle the kknob
pussshing thhe buutons, fiftyytwo, fourtythree, tennn-hup
a maggneticpo leto my compasss

it's us
qmdkksjdjjaiekmkrrrrfkfk, nsdjndf
kkksksiashiuyiddrirttranoth erone, go on, doit
do it aagin, ynotit works dunnitit

it's ours
and from over here it loooks likke
we'll never get tto do it evva again, unnless
itl earns anoth erlanguage
thhatw ebothu ndusttaaaand

oh please make it stop

if you say you're leaving, leave
if you say you're staying, there are rules
if you say you're going, go
if you say you're not going anywhere, then okay

just stop being ****
and stop with the guilt trips
and stop with those lips
and stop with the blaming
and stop the complaining
and stop making me want you
just stop it

i miss you way too much
for you to still be here
so if you're going to stay
please behave

caught up in the mesh it
still couldn't unleash it

alive and in the flesh it
still couldn't punish it

try hard to be selfish it
still wouldn't finish it

if i had been boorish it
still wouldn't accomplish it

looking at it in anguish it
still doesn't banish it

through the tip of an airbrush it
still can't admonish it

if i could wish it
i'd dish it
then swish it
away

it's not lonely
it's death
because nobody knows

it's not only
my breath
because i need it

it's not next week, or last month or whatever you said
omega to aleph
sleep til next week
i don't mind
i don't care
i do what i want
and say what i should

one last crony
is left
and now we know
now we know

he is good
he is kind
but he doesn't exist

he's not there
pay no mind
try not to persist

he is more
than you are
and that's okay

he's not here
and not far
tomorrow, another day

whether it's kruder & dorfmeister
or under the shower
it means the same to me

plain or indifferent
lost and belligerent
it was always meant to be

the wall, the fall, the east, the west
we're better than the rest
south on fourty-second
fourty seconds less
must be madness, she reckons
randomness at best

but, oh! bless you
i thought you sneezed
you did, didn't you
didn't you

i know you're not an idiot
so i'll say it like it is

when i've done something wrong
and i've been caught out
i feel a bit embarrassed
apologise if i need to
and try it again
without
*******
it up

but you don't know what's right or what's wrong
and you've been caught out
you ought to be embarrassed
an apology isn't worth it
so try it again
without
*******
it up

i know i'm not an idiot
but you seem to know the difference
i know i'll be okay
because it is what it is, right?
it is what it is.

because it's worth it.
so why put up with it?
it happens

every time
and crumbles to the ground
it wants to hang around
and makes it real, for me
it inspires a new philosophy

every time
an idea that doesn't last
an achievement from the past
like a well-read magazine
it'll always be a has-been

every time
unimaginable pressure
loads of broken furniture
an intricate befunge
my memory's a sponge

every time
you use all your confetti
any time you're ready
waiting for the next text
let's see what happens next

and we didn't hurt anyone
it was fun
back to front, and we're done.

take mine
take me
take all of it, it's free

make mine
make me
anything you want it to be

fake mine
fake me
is all that's left of me

make mine
make me
the best that it can be

i didn't ask, but you gave anyway
it wasn't weird, but you thought so
i tried to take it all in, let it begin all over again
but by then you were solo
so low
against the movement of the night
the resistance to the light
the opposite of maybe

you know, and it shows.

when you don't like the channel
change it

when you hear that song that ****** you off
change it

when an opinion gets too far up your nose
don't read it

when it ruffles you up so much it shows
you've conceded

change the channel, not the challenger
challenge not the channeler
change the way you feel about it
choose not to have an opinion about it

there are some ideas that appeal to most
but most ideas appeal to none
the ideas you'd rather choose to host
shouldn't offend anyone

unless you choose to be a troll
well in that case let it rock and roll

always a choice

i hate
being white
so much
right now

not because
there's nothing i can do about it

but because
there's nothing you can do about it either

apparently
history repeats itself
like clockwork

getting through it is all you have to do
all this pointless **** life puts you through
believe me, i know it can get pretty rough
i know what it's like to have had enough

but somewhere you'll be missed
and somewhere you'll be dissed
somewhere you'll get blamed
it doesn't matter anyway
you shouldn't feel ashamed
i can't take that away
but i can try

it's not about how you look
or the clothes you choose to wear
or the way you make your face up

it's not about your heart
or how you choose to feel
or the way you let it get to you

it's not about what you said
or the fact that it was hurtful
or the circumstances that led to it

it's the fact that we can't communicate
that takes away all the beauty in you
a two-way dialog that says: hey wait
i really wanna get to know you
it's across this space that i postulate
how different life would be without you
the thing that harbors all this hate
is exactly how i'll remember you

and is it worth it? i don't know
there's still way too much of it on show

dark
miserable
forgettable
unimaginable
it's obviously
the best that you got out of me
because that's all i can see

but i won't forget it
because you were a part of it
every single bit
imaginable
unforgettable
miserable
and dark

thank you for your time
your patience and your crime
thanks for what you said
we'll never be dead

i'll keep you alive in the palm of my hand
so you can explain it to me when i don't understand

i think
no, i don't wanna think
i feel
a bit disappointed
it's real
no, but it's not my fault
i think

so yesterday i went ahead
i totally went and i did it
because i honestly can't trust
a single word that you say

this is what i meant when i said
let's try and be honest about it
i don't need to know who you're sleeping with
but it is good to know you're okay

it's the hardest thing i've ever had to learn how to do
care more about where i'm at than i do about you
goes against my ethos, my ethics, my soul, godammit
i never thought it would go this far
but it has
and you're in it
if we could begin it again it
wouldn't be the same, would it

because where we are now
is not what we were
what i don't know
is how we let it happen in the first place

you're not alone
even though you pretended
open your mind
in case you forget it

but i'm alone
so don't you forget it
what did i find
it wasn't intended

you used to be the best in me
but i had no idea
you loved me, you sheltered me
so i hear

today is the day that we celebrate freedom
yet i feel like a prisoner within my own home
another surprise to hide in the museum

in my mind, in my might, in all of my kingdom
which i hope that one day will let go of it's own
today is the day that we celebrate freedom

i struggle to capture your intimate wisdom
i couldn't hear a thing that you said on the phone
another surprise to hide in the museum

i'm sorry that you've been reduced to this boredom
a ruse that reminds you you're always alone
today is the day that we celebrate freedom

i don't think it worked out quite like i had planned, um..
couldn't pretend that i'd hide what i'd shown
another surprise to hide in the museum

so what have i learned through all this confusion
my psychic ability to hear this has grown
today is the day that we celebrate freedom
another surprise to hide in the museum

poetry is a celebration of language
with a cast of words
written by thoughts
directed by feelings
produced by passion
videographed by memory
and an audience of millions

what you have to say
no, what you have to say
let's see what happens

what you want
no, what you want
i told you

what you need
no, what you need
you need money

what you learn
no, what you learn
you know

because i told you
you need money
but i can't know what you want
because you won't tell me
so i can't help you
you need love
but you don't want what i know
i could help you
but you don't want that
so let's see what happens

we don't enjoy what we do
and don't do what we enjoy
that **** only matters
when it's free

we don't need what we want
and don't want what we need
that **** always happens
to me

everything is beautiful
we don't see it all the time
everything is always there
in someone else's time
in someone else's mind
it's someone else's find
it's someone else's grind
it's someone else's place
it's someone else
isn't it

the sky may be grey
and my soul may be dark
but that doesn't make it okay

the angels you whispered to
inside my heart
wouldn't have it any other way

your method was profound
an intricate art
there's not that much more left to say

and now that we're done
now we can start
to throw it all away

and then when we're done
it's already begun
we'll do it all over again
the same game
the same

this'll be the last one, i hope

i told you the two things that i need
but you can't do that
and it's okay, i'll deal with it

what i really want though
is not about that
but for us to be honest about it

i really don't mind
if you can't tell me
i only want us to end it amicably

where we go to from here
what i want for me
is for us both to fess up, leave it behind, and be free

because i will always love you
but i can never be with you
i'll probably think about you
and i hope you'll be safe

lost inside a time when you believed
when you were focused on your rhetorical belief
i have to admit, i felt a bit relieved
when you took that pill and made it spell relief

stuck inside a crime i didn't do
when you say you'll make it work and then you don't
i have to admit, i understand the shame
but i also feel a little bit ashamed

we are lost
in time
lost beneath the colours
lost within the others
we are lost
astray
it would be easier to say
that this had never come our way

and in the fading of the moonlight
the willingness to do right
i've never been so eager to explore
i wanted to do more
than i'd ever done before
but it's alright
it's alright
there's more

like a withered leaf
on an old and dying tree
you left me no choice

it can hurt you if you let it
and recoil if you forget it
will enrage you and engage you
if it ever lets you in it

it can find the missing piece
and offer some release
will implore you and adore you
if it ever gives you peace

but it likes to take its time
and so it should

the fear rises up in me
like the flame from the candle i stare at
that flutters like a butterfly
and gets me so anxious that i
in my cautiously delusional state
prefer to reject this needless hate
it's a thick dark dungeon of doubt
that's left me wanting without
my needing to utter another word
yet it's something i heard
on the radio just yesterday
as if history could have said it any other way

it rises up still
and my only resolve
whatever the cost
is to let it evolve
into compost
into which i can sow
and out of which i can grow

when someone gets shut
in a relationship rut
it's so easy to say he's at fault

no matter if logical
trumps economical
someone has taken the salt

so yes i'm dishonest
it's selfish at best
in denial of what i've abused

but no, it's not ignorant
perhaps a bit arrogant
the only defence that i used

i did my best
you chose not to care
instead i get threatened
get given the stare
while i'm getting battoned
and you're over there
with the rest

this is how you always will be
etched into my memory
that's how you got me
a brilliant mind
naughty, for sure
(perfect)
instantly pure
ostensibly kind
that's where you will be
ingrained within my memory
this is how you always should be


okay, i've missed out on a jackpot
but not for lack of trying
slithered past the sweet spot
put up with all the lying
spread out like an ink blot
too intricate to die in
it isn't what you haven't got
it's what you put it in
but the one thing that i'm not
is what you'll always be
behind the blind, beneath the rot
between the mensch and me
i totally gave it my best shot
now finally you're free
the space behind the parking lot
the colours that we see

i don't think i'll find anyone quite like you ever again
you fattened me up, only to rip me apart, and then
we made a decision to start all over again
and we did it again
and again and again
forever and ever, amen

i love you. i look after you. i take care of you. i want the best for you. i buy you your medicine. i put a roof over your head. i found us the oxygen. i let you sleep in my bed. i let you get into my head. i listened. glistened, maybe. i exploded. imploded, then exploded again baby. i fought, won and lost all at the same time. i need you. you need me. we can work it all out together, you and me. and we'll sail all the seas, as long as we need to, but you lied.

it can be fixed. but you don't want that. it's okay. it was worth it. don't know why. never will. it exploded. imploded, then exploded again baby. and then arranged itself back into a neat little pile. i trusted you. i let myself into the comfort you provided. i must be braindead. tumour, rumour, enough has been said. loser you said, ahead of the rest, put to the test, surely, maybe, but you lied.

i don't mind if you don't understand me. but please stop telling me who to be, and tell jf and nixie to shut the hell up. i get the impression that reason's enough to make me a victim, sure i concede, i don't even know how to read. between the lines, the subtly sublime, i thought it was time, but you lied.

you got what you want and it's not about me
good job

i'm not seeking any atonement
i'm just looking on with astonishment
another complicit assignment
another perfunctory accomplishment

it's worth taking a moment
to throw it all away
because at least you can say
you tried

i don't see what you don't mind
and i don't mind what you don't see
they might seem incompatible

for me, i saw you speak your mind
but i don't mind, i get it
and i'm not about to forget it
i can't, it's unforgettable
sometimes it feels regrettable
completely unimaginable
it might not seem compatible
but it is

what do i do?
doesn't matter, i guess
she said so

he represented all of us
a lucid mind
and a giving soul
the sharpest wit
and a focused goal
in a broken body

i still have my first copy of a brief history of time
and the things he said in it are still as sublime
as the subject it tackled, the passion, the rhyme
it will resonate through me in space and in time
for as long as i'm in the horizon

there it is, you got what you want
but you don't know what you want
so you got what i gave you
and i did it to show you
that i can love you enough
but that wasn't enough
you just don't understand
god, i don't understand
what you mean to me
yet it's all about me

you can't tell me what i did wrong
so i've literally done nothing wrong
you made it my fault
but i can't be at fault
so why should i care
if you couldn't care
why should i give a ****
when you don't give a ****
why should i worry
about your worry

while back here i'm terrified

i would hate to live in the fear
of those things
you hate when they're near

in my life i don't ever want to hate
any of those things
but i think it's too late

growing up, getting old
yeah those things
no matter what we're told

living with the hate of this fear
it's those things
that aren't what they're supposed to be

i fear the hate
i hate the fear
i communicate
and they're gone

i am not a good poet
i just write them all down
but i found a way
to let things go

i didn't even know it
that time she shot me down
what she couldn't say
was let it go

she somehow wouldn't show it
but by pulling me down
the ball was in play
it needs to go

it was stupidly slow, it
presses me the **** down
just flick it away
and let it go... up

let it stay in the realm of consistency
this isn't what it means to be free
and if you're too contrived to see
then let it be

it isn't a thing that we choose
to forget
then later regret
i know that it hurts you
with time it will heal
we will feel
it's not like we have much to lose

it's something that we should protect
and admire
squeeze out of the fire
scream if you want to
it should've come first
with a burst
that thing that you'd never expect

come on, please
don't take anything away
because you don't think it's worth it
it doesn't need to be perfect
i don't have a lot to say
on my knees
perfect any other day
even if i think it's worth it
i don't know what to expect
it doesn't matter anyway
let me bleed

the flames speak the truth
as they fly away from their embers
it's been three dozen decembers
since my youth

the blade that's been forged
as its passed down through generations
sharper than all my creations
gets ignored

the beat of the drum
as it vibrates with a synergy
as it sparks an epiphany
but for some

the mood that remains
the need to reason, or wonder why
as the stars crawl across the sky
simply drains

it feels so unjust
i don't want to go on without her
the sunrise is a metaphor
and i must

the one who gave it away
or the one who had spoken
i wish i could say
to the dream that was broken
i hope that one day
your own comfort will open
might not be today
but hang on to that token

and into the breeze
i'll try and confess
try hard not to sneeze
at the sight of this mess
i'm down on my knees
but i'll settle for less
because here in the freeze
i'm unable to guess

and now that we're so far apart
i don't even know where to start

if i had even dared
you know i have
and i totally went and blew it

i know you're not scared
because i am
and i totally beat you to it

you have a kind heart, just broken i'm sure
i'm not really sure when it broke
and i think we might have spoken about this
at least that's the last time we spoke

i don't know what kind of need, or greed
that made you forget what you did
don't know what kind of misdeed, but indeed
the expiry was stamped on the lid

well look at me now, over here in the dark
i'm blind, and all i can hear
is how sometime we managed to talk about this
but since then it's turned to the fear

i have all the excuses in the world
and i'd love to share them with you, every one
my sensitive complexity already unfurled
we could've figured this out, together

and i guess we still can, but i'm over here
and you're not

whether you were feeling the breeze
or hearing me breathe
you were right there

whether i was around the corner
or had hastened to warn her
you were right there, waiting

you had only one eye, and i have to admit
that i never really knew what you could see
and i guess it's goodbye, but i have to submit
to the indelible effect that you had on me

i'll miss the way you got scared of the cold
i'll miss how you made rhyley do what he's told
i'll miss the way we snuggled up under the fold
i'll miss you forever, my duke.