Dark scented light,
to my immediate delight
shone on through my eye ways.
Nesting maggots in my eyes,
I've mistaken god for flies.
Building up to what i was,
newness to an old impostor,
faking till you think im softer.
Satan came with darkness tongue.
Liquid acid licked me till I's numb.
Newness to an old impostor
changing lifes take what your offered.
Drugs and needles, lying thief.
woke up dead to my relief.
Gave my arm to doctor havoc.
swelled my vein you cannot have it.
Broken seal, mid elbow bend.
I know what I've done, but everyone has sinned.
Waking night in cold cold sweat
when it comes to dope wish we never met.

I can feel the gravity
savage sadness grabbing me
like a stabbing agony
panicking heartbeat rapidly

like a drastic atrophy
the tapestry of travesty
applicable calamity
catastrophe is my canopy

the faculty of tragedy
with no strategy for amnesty
the laxity of sanity
I can feel the gravity

Facing the scrutiny and judgement of others
being painted in a negative light
by friends, siblings, parents and lovers
Creates a Surging compulsion to fight

but I won't fight, I choose to remain calm
I allow the anger and hurt to flow through
Like the breeze that whistles through the lonely palm
I stay grounded and true, it's the best I can do

I hear the seraph's calling
They speak my name out loud
Is my grounding falling
Please remove this cloud.

My heart is so aware of the sound that's reaching out
But its so confusing to my mind that my ego wants to shout.
What in Gods name do you need me to do.....
Please don't ask to much, i hate to feel blue.

I've made to many promises, and my heart couldn't take it
So even if i knew, I might still try to fake it.

I need to bring you with me
Why do you keep falling behind

Why the **** can't you keep up.
I need you to stay with me, stop falling behind.

Yes its my own preference but I'm losing my mind.
To stray away from you would be death in its self
Stop moving so slow.

You play guitar so eloquently.  I desire your rhythm.
You create sound, vibration with the flick of a
Wrist.
While I ****** my own.

Your pick is plastic, harmless to the flesh
and you make love to your guitar
as you stroke her strings.

I ****** myself slowly plucking away
at my own strings.
With my own pick.

My edge is razor sharp, as is yours
just two different perspectives.

You think quickly and remember
the sound each string makes

While I fumble from vein to vein.

I once saw you working down stairs
and you slid a staple into the wall
and it reminded me
Of sliding needles into my vein and ripping them
out.
SO it would bleed,
more than any one ever should.
I feel this now, in my veins.
Its healing in some way.
To write about the past
and hope you dont go back
because that would mean
dying