I understand, where your coming from,
But do you understand, what you have done,
What have you done, where's all this coming from,
You used to be so different, you used to be my dear friend,
Why is this happening, tell me why this is happening

I was that girl
a girl no one wanted
no one ever asked on a date
or was invited ever invited to the party

But I never minded
I kept to myself
never trying to fit in
because I knew I never would

I lived in my own little world
I didn't care what others thought
I was who I was and that was it
Until one day

Suddenly everything changed,
when he walked in.

I am afraid of the dark,
and no not the kind that fills the night sky,
or any kind that can be illuminated,
For I am afraid of the darkness inside me,
the darkness that threats to break free,
any day now I fear it shall be released,  
with each passing day it grows larger and larger,
soon the cage I have built it will burst,
and I will be left to fight it.

I need reasons
I need answers
I need to know
I need to know why

Why is nothing I do okay?
Why can't I do any thing right?
Why do they love to torture me?
Why to the point I cry myself to sleep at night?

What did I ever do?
What have I done to you?
What do you want from me?
What do you think you can see?

Tell me what I have to do?
Tell me how I can help you?
Tell me cause I really want to!
Tell me what I've done wrong, to who?

I know its all on me,
I know I'm the one to blame,
I know I carry all the shame,
I know all about the blame and shame,

But I just don't know,
Tell me the reason,
Give me the answers,
Let me know,
Why it hurts so bad.

I just sat down
To save my face
To save the frown
I turned away
I saved my pride
So he couldn't see me die inside

That boy he drives me mad
he drives me up the walls
he drives me out the house
he drives me down the halls

No matter what I say
he always has his way
so day after day
were all just characters in his little play

But I know its all in vain
how I play his little game
I may not be the flame
but I'm the one to blame

Nothing more is just
for we all live in lust
but still in him I trust
I have no choice I must
because through all the lust, the distrust, and 'all the unjust

That boy he drives me to screws
he drives me to blues
he drives me furious
he drives me curious

That boy,
'he 'drives 'me.

I'm a ******
I don't do drugs or drink
my only flaw is how much I think
I don't believe in God but I believe in me
And I don't know where I belong on my family tree

I don't propose that **** is based on a girl's clothes
I suppose I'm dumb or brilliant but who really knows
You could say that I'm narcissistic or have low self-esteem
with a girlfriend with a pocketless pocket and a head full of dreams

Whoa that didn't flow, that last line
Imperfect effort seems to be an attribute of mine
Look at this rhyme scheme, it's so diverse
I guess I can get away with this; I couldn't get any worse
One favorite, three favorite, fifty-four
Give me validation, I could always use some more
Hello, Hellopoetry! You've been so forgiving
of my beautiful poetry that reflects an ugly way of living
Tell me, tell me: Should I write more?
What if my sadness is gone, and my melancholy no more?
Will you still love me if I write about crinkle-cut fries?

"****. No more suicide poems, does this kid still try?"

Is there still a Josh Haines if he no longer cries?
Is there still a Josh Haines if he doesn't wanna die?
Is there still a Josh Haines if he starts to fall?
Is there still a Josh Haines if he gets it all?
Is there still a Josh Haines after every kiss?
Is there still a Josh Haines after he writes all of this?

Eh. Maybe, baby. Maybe.

everything comes at a price,
living, friends favors and gifts
i know the price of these
but not the price of being happy and to smile
it scares me, so i do not allow myself to do either

Up until my insomnia meets me
I lied when I said I forgot
I was scared what you'd think
If I said that  I love you a lot

People have only cared for minutes
Leaving me to care for days
When I look at you all I can think
Is please don't go away

I can see me in your eyes
I dream of dreaming with you
I can trace your scars with mine
My thoughts are bleeding through:

My Talia, I know what it's like to not be seen;
what it's like to be alone in a crowded room.
For you, my star, I want you to know:
that no one shines as bright as you.

I can taste you moving on my skin.
My gasp is air you sustain.
hand in hand, under an umbrella
with you, I am safe.

"don't let your heart
guide your head in a fight
or you will lose to the dark
before you even embark"