It's the closest I've got to a soul.
Ever present and when it isn't
I'm hollow,
desperate to feel its powerful touch,
wash over me, connect me to the hive mind,
the swirling voice, collective planet,
except those with no access.

Yes, it is life blood,
cool streams in the desert,
a thing so desperately sought.

got back to my apartment
got ****** up as hell
to remind myself
of all the things that are me
stars and mountains,
an idividual gravity
sang sad songs
filled with Eddie, breathing
and seasalt
to bring forth my occult
the little witchcraft in my skin
I washed it down with a cigarette
to remind myself
*don't give in

She said my celtic sign
was a willow tree
Tough though slight
and in touch spiritually
She was the Nutwood
swinging to and fro
but the combination
of those signs was good
it was a shame I moved away
but she doesn't know
that what's left of willow me
is nothing but a burnt out
husk and a stump to sit on
and weep.

Gorgeous girls never flock to me
with my goofy grin and icy feet
Sure some pretty ones come
and talk to me
But I look inside and what
do I see?
Emptiness, some worries about
what people think and a thick
vein of vanity

Don't get me wrong, smooth skin
is nice and makes me think
of giving in, but where's the
beauty of a wrinkled brain?
Where is the darling charm
that comes from thinking?
Give me crows feet from years
of laughing
maybe some scars for kissing
and a stubborn idea or two
to keep me guessing

Because flawless hair is nothing
compared to a flawed but thoughtful
mind
and big chested, large rear-ended
doesn't have scratch on imaginative
and inventive
**** walks combined with hips
can't hold a match to intelligent words
pouring from chapped lips

So here's to hoping that
sometime soon, I'll get the chance
to stumble and fall into a
wrinkled brain romance

I've done this before
the      d       i         s            t           a          n          c               e

game.

Must be something
special cause I swore
I'd never futs with
that again.

But here I am
marking days off my
calender     X     X     X
X     X      X

Sometimes I just get high
and drift away
for a couple of hours
like the coward that I am.
Then I bake a cake in my birthday suit
got out for a smoke and I'm zooted
feelings totally muted,
it's gettin' late and
I can't find a way out of this
game that I'm losing,
so,
sometimes I just get high
and drift away
for a couple of hours
like the coward that I am.

the light on the front porch
that leads me out from the storm,
the crackling in the fireplace
that keeps my cold soul warm,
the food lining the fridge shelves
that fill me when I'm starved,
and the blankets on the bed at night
that keep me bundled, safe from harm

If you looked back now
you would see
all the times you
lost faith in me
Forgetting the flowers
wishes, warm dreams
spent wrapped in my arms
Only spotlighting the
things that went wrong

And when you left
it stung your heart
burned your head
but you told yourself
it's for the best

There is one thing you didn't know
That I would get better
I would get better
I would get better
but I wouldn't come back

Here I am better
here I am better
here I am better
but I'm not coming back