For centuries
my weary soul's
been swallowin' grey-faced spirits whole.

But the porcelain broke
between the lips
I feel dusky fingertips.

I have short moments,
one brief farewell
before I place my sins in hell.

Stranger please--
lend me your ear,
I've become what I most fear.

I know there's no
such thing as ghosts
but I have seen the demon host.

2014 started with
Brett's car breaking
down on I-25, 45 minutes
before new years, and me,
giving the bird to everyone
on the shoulder of the exit
ramp, mad that Joe ditched
us to smoke, (but we didn't
know you'd be so hurt)
(I almost kissed you)
(then told you)
and April was barely
a thought, February a
single sentence, a moment
of silence for the love I still
had for you drowned in 8oz
of milk and espresso
straight into October,
November, December
there's still no tree but
this house couldn't
feel any less empty
nobody notices but
I've tied my anchors
to the construct of
time and we're
weighed in at
6pm, stopped
the clock like
a Havisham
where do I
begin, where
do I begin?

Biophotonics.

The study of living things
emitting light. Every few
months I take a salt scrub
to my skin and will myself
to believe that beneath all
the blood vessels I have to
be something m o r e  and
studies suggest that I can
be. That with an intensity
1/1000 w e a k e r than the
sensitivity of the human
eyes, I am glowing. Like
a jellyfish, someone
said.  So for a moment
I saw myself deep in
between the different
waters where the
u n d i s c o v e r e d
sleep and hide and feel
the floors that no one has
seen, a light so faint in the
ocean so black that you could
see me from miles, miles, miles
out.