Co-formed in stardust
A spurious reunion
with undulating dark
Nought sparkles
but the gems in my eyes

Reconstituted, magnanimous
encircling consequence
Bore yours in ageless wake
Over profundity diaphanous

Let lay the light of night
Through interconnected time
which belies even death

What shines bright
in the depths
Has long since
suffocated

Imperforable is the visage
of godly nectar
Undue the musings
of mortal instruments

Take your gaze and shift
Uplooking tantamount to order
You who casts aside
the name of nature

Your basking kept
to distance lost
in increments of the inexplicable

Whose multitudinous worlds shimmer
Bright in reachless stars beyond
As dreams you claim your master



Bury your head

grasping at the past, heavy of heart
and shocked; paralyzed
wishing for wings,
to fly in my dreams,
find that castle in the sky


travel through the vortices
of interconnected minds
there, you, I’d find,
my world divine

my love, accosted
ever lost

my muse
who’s left behind


and
forever shifting is the heart
ever yet never drawn apart
so bound are we
o, me to thee
such (pressed in pressure)
encounters brief



like lightning in my mind’s eye
to see the air electrified
whenever your eyes meet mine
hovering; swimming in ethereal fluid
surging with infinity’s energies



yet
arching in my back
a miasma of light
erupting from the heart

out of the eyes

stranded, abandoned
drifting in the void
crippled
by the weight of indiscretion

longing
for such loves forever lost
such levity intrinsically bestowed upon me

whence coalescence splits bereft
by weight of evanescent fate
and there is nothing left
not love nor hate
am I too late?
am I too late?

Reality an elegant ruse
Mentality portends the muse
In blight or bliss it misconstrues
Twisting neutral, natural balance
as it may choose

Perception blinds the aching mind
thru meaning sought in surfeit
of information's dissipation
by humankind, concerted

The relevant and elegant
realities we're exposed to
are simply short of sembalance
as limitations impose you

No objectivity exists
interminably trapped alone
as we are forced to reminisce
with ego's memories on its throne

Enigmatic coalescence of realities diverging
A blip suspended in Nought of regality interspersing
To commandeer and command the blight emerging
To balance in semblance of fear, unnerving

Husks of beings and frailty confounded
Biding and vying in torturous endowment
Escalating the muse of mine to drown in it

As gods betray the world of man
In surfeit of ignorance
The emptiness of space should span
As worthless proof of innocence

The freely formed, unmade again
Forlorn and grasping death
Retired to eternal sin
Adrift in space, bereft

Meandering in longing
Enamored and encupped by awe
The throngs of no belonging
Emotions’ breadth in crypts of flaw

Supposedly a brief respite
Stretched to a night unending
Monotony and doldrums sit
In magick’s-wove pretending

Surrendered unto nothing new
Defender of the hidden true
I bide aside, in wait of you
In wait of fateful mending

I had a calling, when out there
I saw the light and rose, aware
But only now, as I’m ensnared
Do I see Night’s ascending

So grant me form to see in dim lit solitude
And grant me grace, to waste no time in interlude
I wish no more to stray amiss in destitude
And only then shall I find right, my wronging

Whose kinship weighted to the stars?
Whence ‘pon somnolence alone I stood in brazen
As in tumbling ever unto unbecoming
Doth mine feeble mind, eroded, dessicate

Twas thee, elusive child of naught-let whimsy
Whose implorement did expose my pale visage
As in storms of seas, and listless nights,
thine ilk erects atonement

In shattering shackles of perspective
With gentle blades of softest sounds
To render mine enigma commonplace

Prithee, take leave
But frail fate, do not abhor
As it were, an oft unproached night
Beget allusions of entreatment

I wish to rest
In the cradle of your mind
And feel your perspective

From the inside out
And I wish
You’d see mine
So I could finally feel
Something is certain

I am cast upon a dream
To find a true connection
And become something
I can be proud of
But moreover, something
that will continue to grow
Even after my death, a legacy
To hold faith that the things you love
will continue to see and make things worth loving

I have forgotten prayer
And I fear insolence
For I fear I am un-pure
My very essence
I have deviated from a path, so long now
I have no faith in guidance,
for my fear is wrought in doubt
And I trust nobody

I share this pity with no man
In truth, I give them glimpses
But my aura cools, and it can sink
Still, weighing me down
Striking my heart with rods of steel
It has weighed upon me
This is not poetry
It is alleviation,
of words too long unspoken
God, I beg you, unbound me

Bless my aching heart
I just can’t fathom living here
With no rapport, and nothing
Stagnant air can bring about a heavy heart
I’m not feeling strong
So obvious, I call out to the dark,
Where nobody listens
If only a voice would soothe me
If only I could not fear to let down these walls

I don't even know what I'm doing
just meandering, aimlessly
eloping with my echoed soul,
my true companion
a voice inside me, which soothes,
and warms my heart

Who guides me, always, through the dark
And radiant are we, for lions break their necks
When we shall stand against them, unwavering
When we shall show them mercy
Even in pain, I remain my own man
And I hold a heart like gold
I swear it

Can someone just grab be by the neck
And kiss me
And remind me that I can love again
That the fire’s still burning
And I just need to breathe
And I can feel okay?

Could you imagine what it’s like to just become someone
And then to be that guy who used to be someone
And then your mouth’s on the barrel of a gun
And you wish you were back in that, time
You wish you could love, and have fun
Like you’re not anyone
And there’s nothing left to run from
So you just, let it end

It feels like ***, if I knew what that was like
But it’s more like I’m just floating, dreaming
I can’t think about the bad things
I just want to sit down and watch the world go by without me
It’s never been about me
I’m just lost in this place
But I feel like a wanderer
Now
It’s been so long

but, is there ever truly an eternal image of oneself?
Are we truly who we are,
or is this all just a clusterfuck of circumstance,
and thought, based on trivial, random experiences?
And what do I give a **** if my life means anything,
if I have to go through pain to find anything?

An overarching sense of one
Left open to new changes
Love's energies forever run
Breaking free, love rearranges
Ether's gross, effulgent shifts
Course openly forever
On currents of unending bliss
Meandering thru vast endeavor
Into the brightest, freeing choice
Newfound promises beget
Gnosis one, but our own voice, fragmenting to currents met

pulsing and throbbing
with the desire to be one of them
traveling along busybody vectors
living life in motion

that listless, sondering countenance;
an aching, yawning, gnawing
yearning feeling

the star-blight cacophony;
sound cannot emanate throughout space
i cook myself
in burgeoning sonic vibrations

By acquisition of perfidiousness,
  superabundant equanimity serves as cynosure
for perspicacious circumlocution
  Extricated from acumen by coruscant conviviality
     prescient luminescence elicits magnanimous ebullience
   Profundity wrought the saxicolous
    Winebibber, penultimate in cupidity
    Unencumbered by concupiscence
   in which anomalistic accoutrements might unto be bequeathed
Alas, only by auspices, might idiosyncrasies be brought to be remunerative
As such, in trust, bellwether, to excogitate and make usufruct
is as to find parsimonious, what opulence incorrigibly writhes therein
By hedonistic primal instinct, chase, to what is callipygian

Deep sunk heart
When tension's low
My heartstrings bow
And resonate in flow
With the reverberations of
Higher vibrations
Thoughts of love
Beyond me

I remember feeling so strange before
I want to rip out my heart
Bleed my ichorous essence
And paint a portrait of my mind
In my own blood

it sleeps
wry, the tide of meaning seeps
transpiring through erosion, til
the cracks reveal a secret,
hollow, in the highest hill
which scrapes the sky

through night and day which pass us by
within the blink of an eye
the howling of the wind in interim
un-winged beings wish to fly
sweeping dirt and dust and dusk and dawn
away into the emptiness
that claims itself as nought; abyss, 

it sleeps

the bidden meaning of the deep
eternal matriarch of heaven’s rays unfurling
only wakes to blink an eye
and see the world return to starlit sopor
light which shines beneath the mind
betraying souls against their mortal forms
it eats

it eats of liminal things,
of transience in space,
and whilst we race
unending to our deaths
til nothing’s left

it is consuming
of the moving
til inert
in stillness rests
it sleeps

for it knows
the dreams of life
to life bestow
in gestating below

the mind, aglowing
shall it grow
unto the flowing
and the overflow

Perhaps it is in quietness and subtlety of realization that transformation may work its way under the skin, and settle in and into, and become a part of being. That stretching, yawning idea that one sees as fact without ever having greeted it before, yet may respect as if it were so intrinsic to their day to day life as to be unnoticeable. Existential crisis may send the mind spiraling and gripping at open air as one’s very soul plunges into empty abyss, thereto disintegrate; but existential connection is so integrated and undisturbing that we may grow alongside our ignorance, and befriend it. Rather than lose ourselves, we might find we were there under our own noses, and shrug or laugh at the foolishness of seeking in darkness what was always exposed in the light.

Storms of blackened sky and dampened earth. Thunderous silence. Aggressive solitude. Rot; erode, my afflicted qualia. Decompose, my ignorant regalia. Again, to grow, from blackened sky? Arise; from soot and silt, a sprout, amongst the flowing dirt.

Return to your mother, and be exhaled as color, anew, your own.
This heavy chested, poignant, indescribable emotion of chaos amongst emptiness; I suppose I will forever fail to describe it.
Who are you? Who am I? How can we be empty, or full, if we are not even shells?
Cyclical life, extant but fleeting, yet never without itself, throughout, without, inside, and beyond time.
We are the ocean as well as the drops, the sand, the shells, the air above, the sky beyond, the space and time and energy. Microcosms.
I don't understand.

Thunder beckoning my tribe
Of foreign hunters from the sky
I fly on wings of solid steel
Centuries of anguish to appeal

He rides the lightning from afar
While trailing from a shooting star
The fiercest wind, a crashing sound
Mephistopheles inbound

The Satan's spawn, demon of wrath
Is on a malevolent path
Onto a rendezvous of  souls
Intent on taking all control

He hunts the weak to gain his power
Until will come the final hour
A battle between beast and man
The fight to take the promised land

In days of six and nights of five
The promised one will be revived
He will forsake his own
To sit upon his mighty throne

The innocent will be beguiled
All hatred will be reconciled
But this will all just be a hoax
And the world will be engulfed in smoke

Miasmas of the blackest night
The death of innocent by blight
Inseparable of death
Inoculating breath
Is taking hold of me
Suddenly I can see

And from the sky there comes a sound so loud!
In my mind I am alive again, though gasping for air.
I say please, save me!

They take my hand and I'm above the clouds.
And lighting fills the air.
And everything is energized, we're floating!
And I can see myself over there!
It's not over; he's back, the final conspirator!

So I grab hold of him, and I start punching him, but I'm just a boy!
They were there with me, my comrades, and they attacked him with the various building blocks.

But he unleashed a fearsome attack. All from his body it exploded. Shrapnel made a mark to me.
I fall feint.

And when I wake up there he is; Mephistopheles, standing over me.
I say, Mephistopheles! Why??
And he say, because there is no point!
And I say, what does that matter? You don't need a point to be happy.
He said, now, that happiness isn't everything. And he stabbed me in the neck.





But in my very last breath, no longer inoculating me, he say that it is to live that is to mean and that death is just to be as much.
I gasp!
Then it all fades again, this time for good. But the last thing I see, my comrade is falling down upon him and the final blow ends it.

Yeah, he got his wish.

I am ire
In the land of wrath
And I smile emptiness
On your behalf

I linger, soulless
In the grass
Overgrown
and under pathed
In terror, peril
Paralyzed
I reap the fortuned
And dole demise

I am nature
Cruel and empty
I once was full
But you reject me

I am every sin you've casted
To the wind, now everlasting
I am the dark you dread
I am flagrance, and the dead

I go outside and see
the birds and the bees
Listen to the wisping wind
and whispering of the trees

Open up my eyes
and let my mind begin to bleed
out through my skull
and into everything

Look up, watch the clouds drift by
and feel the passing breeze
and as my head’s becoming light
I see the sun begin to blink

Everything’s alive
and It is breathing rhythmically
I leave the cave behind
To exhume the world from in my dreams

Whereof void cometh light
Therein the realm of whispers stretching vast
By what great somnolence fore-takes the night
Unto the mind’s recoupled, last

By speckled sand in burgeoned storm
Whose weaving deems thy make
In nebulous, unstructured form
Til brinks, again, daybreak

Whence shrouded depths bestow thy name
O Maker of the Lands Estranged
O Dark Unbridled Taskmaster
What mirth beguiles thy claim?

For in the harbored bow of day
To eat of such abound
Remade in Night’s shadow’d parlay
As we, remade from ground

What, by thy gazing over land
Should bring immortal what is man?
Where through the reaching unto nought
Shall future’s stake, our hearts allot?

Where dreams be dreamt in wake and rest
Your hand to ours, there, to caress
To guide our minds and move our breaths
To breathe for life’s unending test

As is the mount to he who hikes
A place to chase the peak
Should we, who in nature alike
See ours and wish our keep

In spite of melting
I am formed of clouds
Cast on the wind

I am nature's mutation
Existing without being

Life churns in avenues and cinches
I am cosmic expletives

Tear me apart
And let me wisp
And deteriorate
In the map of stars

Give me nothing
But a push
And I will drift forever

Who is that?
Was it me once?
What is "What is what is?"

I remember bleeding
Before tears

I am seated in the cusps
Of fissures in time

Harrowed
Is my nature
Unto oblivion
I am

Oblivious

For
I have no mind
For earth

Mirrors flip a picture

Show you warped, but nigh to true

A glimpse of you thru shallow fissures

Your resemblance seen anew

Tho light is sparsely scattered
o’er nought but space confounded

And these windows hold no light to shine their own
Utility and grace abounded

Whence the mirror image shown


Yet in the company, akin

Of mirrors against mirrors

There is infinity within

Til something else comes nearer



Such beauty lost to fleeting things

Of beings fettered to this land

Yet in their company it brings

A vortex ever to expand

Hast, yet, thee found on toilsome, trembling ground
a path thy moving feet may walk in earn’st
(whereinsofar thy nature circleth round
by brash and blindly pathing, here, thou durn’st)

would’st thence, by hearken unto chiming bell
of holiest incumbent owner’s place,
thine acrimony in thy bespoke hell
of handed, wrought creation be erased

Could’st, in transcending evanescent sight
to see the world erode in passing tides,
the soul bestowed but lost in darkest night,
there come again to sit where mind resides

When heart resounds in union with the eyes,
and salubrious joy might be restored,
there dissipate egoic source’s lies;
by life, may life again become adored

Subsist in thine existence, whose intake
should evermore sustain thy thirsting heart
Forever curiosity be slaked
by mindful making of the soulful art

2:37am

Spells of sonder sink within my soul
If only to love and be loved
When one so misunderstood can take glimpse
And hearts beguiled by coalescence
Whereupon the mind recoils
Emotion stands on high

Whence fleeting youth foretold of recompense
Allude to thee, take refuge in my heart
O, piercing wind, subtly showing strength
Encompassing earth, untouched
My mind will flitter, clinging close
Adjourning hastily toward
(Un)destination
Together, as one, in truth
Transcendent

Passerby within my mind
Your camera clicks may part
A darkness thick as endless night
With limited reach, alas, does penetrate the light
And so, my candle sparked, I hop aboard
Catch the train; soul of yours, headed toward
Another night, without reward
Another fight, more endless scourge
But nothing quite, can be ignored
Or recommended for
As we are weak and worn
As we are different forms
Pretender, sure, in truth do you bore
Shelter self within the walls of my cerebral core
And do implore
Your every wish, without, needst lore
And every instance sworn

Open ended, gratuitous, and transparent
Synergy restored
As love is love, and hate is more
Individually wrought, but torn
Taped, remade, forlorn
Alleviating self, amor

So, and so, as one, we charge forward
So, and so, in confidence, we pour
-emotions into crucibles of halves of selves, before
But now, as one, so absolute are we, for
Each other's heart we bore

Auspicious ostensibly ostentatious pontification expounded
Proliferation of erratic introspection elucidates subconscious
aggrandizement

Internalized defensive antagonization of subversive intention toward affirmation
Irrational exacerbation of separation from an inconceivable force

Liberation begets elation of self
The soul-mind complex regurgitates doubt
Infinitely separating composition exposed
The illusion of individuality

Convolution brings malice in ignorance
Through dissonance in emotion
Collaboration of thought incites foundational expansion

To indoctrinate logic of subjective philosophical altruism
Pulchritudinous is agape affection, for we revel in its touch

Never to set our eyes on other stars
We gaze out at the sky
And forever wonder

I see angels
hiding in interesting places
Reading numbers and
forging signs for many
minds upon
passing tides
of energy
I see them
perched
atop their
ethereal pedestals
in astral
in multitude
and bleeding beauty;
magick, which winds
into the arrow of time
I see emotion
crystallize
and bend
the flow to
rend inertia
to the will
of mortals
I am
forever floating
on the tides
of in between
I am
I am
not
I am
but
a vessel
for this
energy
to see
itself

Strange things, these eyes that wander only to find a beaten path
It was like magic, when I saw the numbers, saw the signs
And then she was, like magic, brilliant, full of flourish and such
And she was dark but luminescent, an enigma
And as it unraveled before me, all in one fell swoop
Did I feel alive again, but for a moment
Until from her grasp I fell, even before meeting her eyes
To see her wisping with the breeze
And see her wander
And squander herself on petty things
To avoid the clutch
Of that which would hold her

I've always known there was a reason for everything. That's why I'm so obsessed with that infernal question of "Why?" Although, in recent times, it seems more about the "How?" than the "Why?", and every piece of the puzzle seems to be a twin. When the puzzle's almost complete, but the picture isn't the same as the one on the box, maybe "Why?" and "How?" should be substituted for "Where?" and "When?"

In she came
Like a gust of wind
Sweeping me off my feet

And in the air
I lingered there
And felt my mind retreat

It was loss of heat to air
Through which my mind became aware
And thence did doubt deplete

And as I lingered in the air
And as I saw myself engulfed
My eyes did rise to shining sun
Seeing visions of plenty; my whims undone

But thus, alas, as time should fleet
To harrowing mysteries before
My bubble burst at the seams
I plunged to dark, abhorred

Through questioning and recompense
I sought the light fore-met
And in the mind’s eye, new light shined
Through memory dispensed
So there I fell
To abject hell
And there my mind resides
Yet only in the shadow’s summit
Should inner balance, and life bide

Break free of fear
The dark is here
You harbor it inside
Make only effort to balance dark
With all the light you find

As love should take you places
You could never hope to see
Take care to love your many faces
Seek setting your soul free

Cruelty of heart
The swelling
Before tears
When no tears come

The pressure
In my ears
The howling wind
As if
A portal in my head
Could take me away

To mountains swarmed
In tempests
Touching the sky
Daring to scrape the stars

My head hums
I think of conch shells
Holding oceans
In their caverns

Yet
In this silent night
Crickets
In my empty dreams
I am allured
To unbinding
In the distant tides
of nought

I seek for an amenity
To this disease inside of me
Which aggravates my energy
Extrapolating violently
Ironically, I'm logically abusing rationality
Irrationally exacerbating deductive realities
Which are bound to me in stagnant times
When my mind flies to other fallacies
I have to be strong but I'm just breaking microscopically

I'm always thinking too much
I can't stop, I just rush
I'm overwhelmed, but I can't touch the point
but I'm inbound and I won't disappoint

My thoughts are always chasing me
Tied down by acute empathy
And sympathy is not for me
Cause I can't bring myself to see
What is to come, what cannot be
where I will be eventually

Spirituality, obviously, must be bound to physicality
And so I ask you, how could we describe our own psychology?
An amalgamation of the slightest mental energy is quite the anomaly,
How can we help ourselves if we're just damaging humanity?

If you ask me, when our brains gain new insight
We can think in different ways and make change
Make the world bright
Let's share our claims with all who complain
And share peace and make things right

It messes with my head a bit that our mind processes everything,
That's all we ever really experience
We'll never be able to get inside someone else's head and test drive it.

Twas but an arid night of ambiance
They sought in duplicitous reunion
Of the innocent kind
When stars would shine, undermined
And spotless sparkling eyes would watch them blind

We are starbound, on the ground
Never hoping, never found
As those who fleet abound
In space, and leave no trace or sound
Are seeing us and wondering how
We manage to keep ourselves from choking
On these troughs which runneth open
To our feeble mouths

Oh simple scintillation
You are not what I beseech
I wish for truth in energies
And not to look back; to repeat
What I have seen that beckons thee
To hear my call, and ever fall
To what is empty

I am rattling, as is my proclivity

muscles tense and then collapse
limb by limb, releasing a skeletal clatter

would i hover if the gravity, of dizzying,
that makes my head swim, lightly,
floating in the ocean of stuporous emotion
thunderstruck connectivity, latched onto me
crown o’ my skull, pull my spirit from its vessel

would eye
blink shut
a rut in the road
a node
bowing, wherethrough flowing in the breeze; it bends - again - against the everything so rushing
by and i
consider it a blessing to believe in nothing
knowing only what approaches me
and seeing things so clearly
how spirit lives in me

have you ever felt the chills?
ASMR, perhaps, electric, rising
running fingertips over goosebumps

have you felt the way Earth communicates with plants?
can you bleed into the natural expanse?
you’ve been dead before, do you remember?

You are
Interspersed
Between the lines
Of fate and fortune

You are
Fleeting
and flittering
On the cusp
Of reality
And fantasy

You are teemed
With my thoughts
Of love lasting,
And love lost

You are
My treasured jealousy
My wrath
And my bemusement

You are my
Ideal,
Wrapped in leaves of gold
To cover your iron

Yet,
You are light
And smooth;
Almost weightless
I cannot grasp
Your heart
I think you to
Be entertaining many
And loving none, or few
You are beguilement
And empty promises

You are the reason
I get up every morning
And wonder
If I will ever be loved
Like I love you
Yet,
forever you claim
To love the me
You cannot even see

I sought the answers of the soul
I pleaded God to make me whole
For years I searched, til I unearthed
A bright, delicate piece of worth

Cradled gently within my hand
Hoping greatly it would expand
Most precious thing on this green earth
A bright, delicate piece of worth

Sowed like a seed into the ground
To grow into something profound
My savior, object of my mirth
A bright, delicate piece of worth