One turns to two.
Then three.
Then four.
Soon theres a tiny puddle of blood pooled up on the floor.
But she still stands up,
cleans the mess and gets dressed.
No one can know how she really feels,
she's depressed.
She'll put on that fake smile,
and joke with you all day.
Though, the second she gets home the smiles fade away.
She reaches for someone only to find cold hard steel.
It's the only thing she has anymore,
leaving reminders of pain that was just to real.

You think you can shoot me down and **** me,
well go ahead and try.
But you'll find it harder than you think,
*because I'm already dead inside.

Nothing will ever be okay again.

Everything falls apart;

and soon...

there

will

be

nothing

left.

*Because nothing is ever going to be okay.

Do you know what it's like?
Do you know how it feels to walk around day by day feleling lost?
Empty.
Hurt.
Do you know how it feels to cry yourself to sleep every night?
Because I do.
Do you know what it's like to force smiles?
Fake laughter.
Convince everyone that everything is okay, even if it isn't.
Do you know how it is to smile through tears?
Because I do.
Do you know what it feels like to be alone?
Wishing you had someone,
but when you reach out you find no one.
Do you know how it feels to cry out for help when you are falling, but you hit the cold floor instead?
Because I do.
Do you know what it feels like to feel hopeless?
Numb.
Invisible.
Do you know what anxiety attacks feel like?
Because I do.
Do you know what it feels like to lose the ones to love?
To have them ripped out of your life before you even could say goodbye.
To miss them every day, wishing you could hold them just one more time.
Do you know what it feels like to wish it were you dead and not them?
Because I do.
Do you know what it feels like to never be enough?
Not good enough.
Not smart enough.
Do you know what it feels like to be the ugly duckling no one wants?
*Because I do.

But before they start to fall
she pulls herself together.
Because no one can know how broken she really is inside.