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 Dec 2013 Damaged
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Monsters
 Dec 2013 Damaged
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When I was young
I wanted to be away
from the monsters under my bed
But as I grew older
I realized that
The monsters are in my head
/drdc/
Here's to the friends who will drop anything to be there when I need them.
Here's to the friends who sit with the intent to listen,
not to speak.
Here's to the friends who fill my head with constant laughter instead of cold silence or harsh words.
Here's to the friends who know how terrible a home can be so they take me in whenever I need.
Here's to the friends who tell me right away if I've done something wrong.
Here's to the friends who know how to communicate.
Here's to the friends that watch The Golden Girls with me and don't ask me to change the channel because they know I've never had a grandmother of my own.
Here's to the friends who don't cancel plans because they get a better offer.
Here's to the friends who keep me going and child like while the world is growing into a cold adult.
Here's to the friends that dream with me and talk as if they will be a reality some day.
Here's to the friends that miss me when I'm gone.
Here's to the friends that understand my love for Shay Mitchell.
Here's to the friends who call me a ******* but join in on the fun anyway.
Here's to the spontaneous road trips,
the unplanned adventures,
the nights with too much alcohol,
and too little food.
Here's to the friends who come over to watch football even though they don't like it but they know you do.
Here's to the friends who don't exclude you on family days but invite you along because you are family.
Here's to the friends who kick my *** when they find a razor in my room because if I want to feel pain they might as well get some fun out of it all.
Here's to the friends that say I'm sorry and mean it.
Here's to the friends that tell me it will be okay and mean it.
Here's to the friends that say I love you and mean it.
Tay and Bianca, you will always be my mains.
 Dec 2013 Damaged
Matthew Walker
I run with all my might
Can’t put up a fight
Whether I run left or right
I can never find the light
Consistently sprinting into the night

Never gaining ground
Always fallin’ down
I feel like I’m gonna drown
In my own helplessness
Reverse exodus
Is this my personal pestilence?

How did I become so broken?
With all this burning emotion
Broken spirit
Broken heart
Broken person

I need somebody to save me
Pull me from the fire
Wash away my blood
Show me love

But where can I find this someone?

All I desire is healing
Nothing else is even appealing
Here I am kneeling
Begging to be free
Savior, unbreak me.
9/15/2012

Old poem that's actually a verse in one of my songs now.. But I wanted to post it regardless.
 Dec 2013 Damaged
Matthew Walker
leaving town is leaving home
though I've only lived here
long enough to name a few streets
and memorize a handful of names

in three months time
a foreign city became
equally precious to me
as the place I was born

it's not the place
that cries out to me
not a feeling of belonging
that makes me sick to leave

it's the way you look
at me
i'm anxious to look away
from you

because you have become home to me.

*m.w.
12/15/13
 Dec 2013 Damaged
Matthew Walker
I don't want to lie with you
I just long to be with you
making love isn't even on my mind
I just need to feel you breathe

even if only our elbows
lightly press against each other
while I sit beside you
I am content

Your presence is enough.
12/14/13
She's everything to me.
She's my light in the dark, my shelter from the rain, my warmth from everything that's cold in this world.
We fight.
A lot.
But through the frustration and the anger and sadness.. All I am ever thinking about is how much I love her.
How much she means to me.
All the moments that I've had with her;
hearing her heartbeat for the first time;
holding her while she cried, while she held my scars in her lovely hands;
watching her rest and seeing her smile so beautifully while she slept..
That makes it all worth it.
Everyday I see her,
Everyday I get to hug her for that one moment,
makes it all worth it.
There is so much I need to say to her.
So much that I wish I could explain so she could see what she is to me.
I can't ever lose her.
She must never go from me or leave me.
I couldn't handle life.
She is my life.
She is everything good and beautiful and  heavenly in this world.
She's my world, my everything.
And I will never leave her side.
I thank God everyday for her and ask that He keeps her happy and safe.
I hope she loves me forever.
Because I love every part of her.
My best friend.
Her.
M.

I love her forever..                         .
An old letter that slipped through my jewelry box. It's funny how things change over the years. I love my best friend with my whole heart, I've just learned about myself and my boundaries and limits. I am still as thankful as ever. Just for different reasons now.
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