unassuming truths
unanswered questions
unending nightmares

In my bed I dream,
but in the day
the visions scream.

Uncontending idols,
fighting to be bigger than they seem.

Calloused bodies
in unwashed sheets,
unbearable rhythms
with undefined beats.

Explosions in my mind,
or explosions on the streets?

Concurrence is insanity
but insanity is fair.
Look around the room,
I promise you it's there.

Join me in my daydreams,
and I promise you'll be scared.

I sit
and I type
and I watch the words flow

Onto the screen,
no longer paper
an outdated source

But my screen can't
express my emotions
the words so uniform

straight lines,
and perfect curves to create
the letters and the words

but this is not me
you cannot know me
from what you read

with no personalization
and no hand made
creation.

this
is not
poetry.

this is words,
on a screen,
read monotonously

by a stranger,
too strange,
I'm sure.

It's
a
pity.

Lets start a revolution.

I'm begging to go home.
but I have no home.

I'm sleeping on couches.
Missing a life that can never be again.

I'm living how I've always wanted.
Thought, I'd always wanted.

Begging for a home that never was.

Promises are allowed to be broken,
I promise.

I listen for clues. Perhaps you'll change your mind.

You can decide.
I wont attempt to influence.

It may be a lifetime,
but Its not that much.

I'm enamored.

I tried to tell you,
but I failed. My lips part,
lusting for words.
Instead just silent breath escaped.
It screamed for you.
but you couldn't hear.
you never saw.
You should have known.

Still I try, and fail.
A screaming heart,
without the courage to speak.

No idea what to say.
instead I'll just annoy.
ignore.
run.
RUN.
You won't make it.

Nobody ever makes it, anyway.

Its an impossible task.
for me at least.

I'll try again. But you know,
I'm doomed to fail.

And perhaps I never will,
see you again. And perhaps I never will,
speak to you so sweetly.
But darling, I swear,
From the second I saw you,
To the end of Eternity,
I will love you.
unfailing.
unfaltering.
unending.


I miss you.

If I turn around I can see the sun,
the moon,
the stars.
I can't imagine a dream,
more conclusive in its ending.

They all fall.

I cannot find a solution.
I cannot find an answer to this never ending thought.
I tried today to find a light,
to light this cave I've descended into.

Instead I found more darkness, just.
It shone, as light would,
but reflected nothing.
But this darkness does not intimidate me.
I do not fear it.
I just do not understand it.

When you smile, I find it
to be absolutely fascinating.
but  I do not know how to respond.
It does not provoke my own face to mimic your emotion.

So i look on in the darkness for an emotion
I can fathom to explain. To repeat.
I fail.
I find joy, but it is not the joy you feel.

Mine is not a feeling. not an emotion.
it is an idea, a lucid dream.
my imagination, telling me the difference
between my smile and yours.

I know you.

I wish I knew you better.

I want to watch you, like I used to.
Like I used to so enjoy to do.
But life has taken us separate directions.

No.

Truth, I miss you.

Prost.

I'm a lost cause,
a hopeless
hope,
in a lightless day.

I walk to the river
with the name in my brain
the words,
washing helplessly away.

I speak for the sayers,
who've left themselves unsaid.

I cannot keep to myself,
but I cannot get your
attention.

I'm screaming
at the world.

You're the name
in my palm,
written for my memories sake.

I can't forget you though.
Regardless.
You build, and destroy.
but you make it look so easy.

Like somehow we'll all be
better.

We won't.

You
can
no
longer
make
me
believe.

I won't.

I'm going to take a
leap.
L.E.A.P.
This time its for real.

I've got the heart.
you've got the soul.

We can do anything.

Lets do it all.

I want to give you whatever
I have to give.
For now,
for ever.

Lets go.

You know,
I won't pretend. I do pretend,
but this is not the same.

I swear, dear,
you're the world that stands too close to the sun
and it burns just to wonder
about you

I'll stop thinking,
speaking,
breathing,
if that is necessary.

to remain in my frozen
world so far from yours
and I'll smile when
I feel a warmth on my cheek

but I've forgotten why,
and how
and from where the warmth
is coming.

and you can sigh
as the breeze blows through,
and chills your spine
with the memories of
what may have been

could have been,
might have been,

if our vastly differing
temperatures,
had not caused this
destructive tornado.

the tornado that
tore down the ladders
that I'd built to let you over my walls
and now,

who will bother to climb?