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arin levy Jul 2019
equivalent exchange
three days of hallow
in exchange for
three days of strength
but there is always
consequences
dizzy stumbling falling
headaches chills fatigue
whether it was the sickness
or my debt to be paid
it was a fair trade
to feel untouchable
unstoppable
capable
godly
arin levy Jul 2019
I was in heavenly bliss
Because for one night
I was his
arin levy Jul 2019
I still haven't slept
I heard them all night
Things moving
People talking
They're louder now
I don't feel safe
I'm cold and alone
Everyone is asleep
Please be quiet
You're all too loud
Forgetting where I am
Who and what are safe anymore
Cats and dogs here, warm and safe
Not at my own home
Can't go anywhere
My eyes burn with tears
Can't cry, they might wake up soon

I need help
arin levy Jul 2019
8pm
Burning throat
Bruised knuckles
Gasping breath
Sliced ankles
Rotting insides
Inevitable tears
Small smile
Bathroom breakdown
arin levy Jul 2019
8am
when did breakfast
become a feeling
of complete
failure
arin levy Jul 2019
every skipped meal                                    

                       ­                       every purge

every cut                                          

                  ­                                  every lie

every late night call                      

                                    e­very breakdown

every relapse                                              

                              every broken promise


i'm sorry for each and every one.
arin levy Jul 2019
once clean white walls,
they now drip blood.
can't bring myself to make the calls
as my tears fall in a flood.
eventually this small room
will consume my mind and all.
make sure to visit my tomb
on a lovely day in fall.
i'll write everyone a letter,
something they may appreciate.
written down seems prettier, better.
friends and family, letters will await.
pre-planned and ready to go,
nobody will see it coming.
make my funeral a party, a show,
nobody should be bumming.
although i despised life,
don't take my death with strife.
hug me before i go.
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