every time i put my pencil
to this paper i am reminded
that talking about the monsters
under my bed only elicits a quick light switch flip, a quick glance under the now dimly lit bed frame only to hear,
“there’s surely nothing there”
don’t they realize these creatures do their ***** work with the lights off?
how am i to scream for help if they keep turning the lights on

two times you were told if you did not pass a drug test you could not see your daughter
and two times you failed to comply so you asked someone else to do it for you
and two times is too many but how many times will you get high with your daughter in the backseat of your truck knowing this could be the last memory for both of you?

three times they found you lying cold on the bathroom floor
and three times they pumped whatever you pumped in right back out
and three times is too many but how many more times will your grandparents need to administer naloxone to your half lifeless body before you realize the damage you are doing?

ten times you were caught stealing from work
and ten times we carried you to rehab after you finally gave in and told the truth
and ten times is too many but how many more times will you steal from family members just to get for for “one last time, just one last high?”

and one time is too many but how many times will you say to yourself “ive overdosed plenty!” for you to realize you aren’t as invincible as you seem

one time is all it takes
to be the last time

I’m tired of sleeping
with the light on so the dark
stops haunting my dreams

If only the daylight
kept it out just the same

tired of running in circles
around you to hide my
tears when in reality
i wish you’d just stop to look
behind the smile i constantly
borrow from my neighbor
because im not too sure
where i last put my own
but instead you constantly
make excuses as to why
you think i could possibly be sad
while you look at a smile that
is not yet mine to wear
why must you choose
to believe your lies over my
desperate calls for help?
im too tired to continue
calling out for you
so instead i dance around you
in hopes that you will not see
the ever growing sadness that lives
inside of me

Mirror addiction?
Strange but maybe
it explains all the nights
I spend in front of one
******* it in in hopes
it’ll stay that way until
the morning

You are the flowers planted outside my childhood home
You are the stars I sought comfort in
You are the green that grows so magnificently in the forests

You are so many things inside and out but first and foremost you are my other half
So perfect, loving and gentle