he was screaming on the top of his lungs saying, "*******! *******!" as the car crashed over a water pipe, water spraying everywhere. not once did he ask if i was okay, he went outside to check on the damage, "you ruined my car! look what you did, you stressed me out so much that i crashed my car that i work so hard for" he continued, "you call this love? you're toxic for me! you're so insecure! *******, get the **** out of my car" he continued this for ten minutes, his blood boiling as he got more furious.

i looked at him with tears in my eyes, "i will leave then."

he held my hand and said, "i still love you though, i still want us to be together"

dont allow this.
this is not love.

time moves so fast
i forgot about that little kid,
kid who loves to laugh
be silly
be adventurous
and see the world
in a different light
she was so optimistic
back then

i don't recognize that kid anymore

this has been the hardest year of my life

i lost myself more than ever

im completely lost

isn't it crazy
how many opportunities
we miss with people
just to stay comfortable with someone
who doesn't serve us anymore
for the reason we are scared
of being alone

these past few months
i asked myself
if i even really had me

what does it mean
to love me
to have me
be there for me

im in a cycle
searching for someone
to give me the answer

im always left with none

shadowing the lady
you say you love,
leaving you wishing
she had what I do.

i wanted
to grow
up
too fast
rush things
too fast
and
now
i
dont
know
where
my life
has went
-(cpm)