Cowin Alan

Cowin Alan Dec 2015

Luna

You were once a piece of me.
Like the moon was a piece of the earth.
How can you not pull my tides
When you move close.
And your skin is as white
And your smile as bright.
You light up my night.

So my Luna.
please discover what you need.
I can give it to you if you'd let me try
Because like gravity.
I'm pulled towards you.
Or maybe
Maybe you are just weighing me down.

I was thinking about the famous movie quote by George Bailey. "What is it you want, Mary? What do you want? You want the moon? Just say the word and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down. Hey. That's a pretty good idea. I'll give you the moon, Mary." And I thought. Maybe she is your moon. And you can't give her anything, because she is already everything.

Cowin Alan Dec 2015

Words, and empty places.

As I peer out this vidual.
Wondering if I'm an individual
Staring through the glass
I see my demons peering back.
In that moment our eyes make contact.

This is just a collection of loose thoughts.

Cowin Alan Dec 2015

Dont tell

Don't tell everyone
That when my body leaves this earth
You are jealous of all the angels

Don't tell everyone
That I was a sinner
That my eternal soul is relaxing in the circles of hell

Don't tell everyone
That I think this life is hell
Or at least one of its circles.

Tell everyone
That where I'll be
Is in your memories

Dec 2015

cf

Please

Please
Tattoo the words
I am not good enough
Into my skin
So I will never trick myself
Into thinking otherwise
Because when I think perhaps
I am
My pride falls out of my chest
And drags on the ground
Leaving behind each broken piece
That I'll never be able to find
To put myself
Back together
So please
Save me the embarrassment
Carve the words into my skin yourself
So I won't have to

#madness #selfharm #relapse

Cowin Alan Dec 2015

Pack my bags

You are going to be mad at me
When I leave.
I won't even pack my bags
When I leave
Find a dark room, and disappear
Into my wildest nightmares.
You are going to be mad at me
When I leave

It can't be helped.

Cowin Alan Dec 2015

Footsteps

She asks, "Can you remember the last time YOU were seen?"

I pause.

"Retrace your steps." She says.

I reply,
"There is no last time.
Because every time is the first time.
There are no footsteps to retrace.
Because the sea does not allow for such luxury."

Writing with a friend, she's a great source of inspiration. If not for her, this one would not be.

Cowin Alan Dec 2015

Untitled

I want you back.
Selfishly.
I want to meet you.
Needlessly.
I want to throw it all away.

But I hold on.

I hold on, not because I want to.

But because I have to.