Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
 Apr 2013 Courtney
Ayaba Babe
he used to hit me with the
"do you love me"

i used to sit there, glaring at him through closed eyes
with an open heart,
heavy
from weights not heavy enough to be
the weight of love.
There's a wild-eyed girl in michigan
Not even 8 years old yet
Beetles and briars
Stuck all over her best clothes
And she knows
Mom will have her head for this
But she invades the boys' fort anyway
And gets a milk snake
To the face
Silt and clay
Streaking her hair
For her troubles
Just a typical day
She slides smiling
On the frozen hose-water
Pond her dad made in the yard
Face alight
Alike in cold and heat
Until that same gang of boys
Steers her straight into a tree
Through the bruises she's got
Dry eyes
She never cries
Grows up still
Wild-eyed
Beetles and briars
And scorpions
In hiking boots
***** cowboy hats
Hanging from the rearview
Of her muddy 4WD Jeep
She falls and scrapes her tan knees
Running from an angry bull
In some farmer's field
And all the fella's hearts
Are full
Of the curve of her back
And 30 years later
Still wild-eyed
When her doctor tells her
She's going to die
Again she doesn't cry
She just wants to hike the Grand Canyon
One more time
 Apr 2013 Courtney
Alice Kay
It's not that all these guys forget.

They just act like they forgot

because they don't want to remember.
Don't want to remember the bad that came with all the good. Don't want to remember they broke your heart.
 Apr 2013 Courtney
DieingEmbers
I've a term-inal illness...

I'm sick
of these ****


exams
For Moonlight Blossom and all my friends taking their exams at the moment.
 Apr 2013 Courtney
Anne M
Stunned in the nucleus
of the microcosm we'd created,
I watched you
as you ceased to be what I knew
or wanted to know.

I waited
as you flew off the handle
of the door you were clutching
forever leaving;
always I shook
as you felt tears
I never cried
on your shoulder
and turned back
to the life you promised
you’d lead.

Promised.
I never wanted
that from you.
I never craved forever aloud
or begged for a guarantee.
I only wished for today
and tonight
and now. Not later.
So leave.

Grasp that handle.
It’s your only anchor to the here and now,
because I know you.

I know the beautiful words that fall
with certainty
won’t be surfacing tomorrow.  
I know the blood that pulses
between us
isn’t rhythmic all the time.
We’re unharmonious
in these evolved states.
But we fought ourselves down
to our most basic,
and we could've stay if we believed
in the primal integrity of yes.
But we can’t
and we don’t.

So we recant every sound we made together,
every motion that moved us
however briefly.
We implode.

We could've been a supernova,
but this,
this is a blackhole.
Slightly revised repost--let me know what you think!
 Apr 2013 Courtney
PJ
Boston (10w)
 Apr 2013 Courtney
PJ
I look to God,
Because it's all I can do.
 Apr 2013 Courtney
S E
Umbrella Type
 Apr 2013 Courtney
S E
I have always been the umbrella type:
Cloudy, with a chance of dying.
Water is petrifying—
When it rains, I listen to sad music and enjoy the view
Hoping I never have to venture out to you
Because I have no idea where you’ll flood into
And then I’ll have to peel away my dress you seeped right through
And nakedness is frightening and sitting in the shower
--shivering--
is not very inviting.
In fact, it’s very unpleasant when you’re by nature private
And have a hundred empty places to keep quiet
Covered and compliant.
Getting wet is terrible when you’ve spent forever piecing together
A paper-mache umbrella to cover
Your cracks.
Storms are not my style, I’m still trying to dry
From the tears I was born crying.
I was born cloudy with a chance of dying
Cloudy with a chance of never even trying
And when you’re born with a heavy heart
the last thing you need is to get
drenched.
Wringing yourself out is just a defense
It’s common sense--
--to never lose sight of the shore
SO, this is why I hide from the downpour
Under dusty cotton covers
And don’t ever even wonder
What it would be like
To be dragged in your wake
It’s not like I’m safe from you anyway.
I wasn’t built on stilts
I’m not a flood-proof gate,
I’m a rusty fire-escape that only reaches halfway
down
And I don’t want you waiting at the bottom and begging me to jump but of course you are,
You always are
But even though I know you’d catch me
You are scary and I’d rather jump to concrete because at least it looks like solid ground
And when I go down, I comfort myself with the 100 percent chance that at least
I won’t drown.
***proud of this one***
 Apr 2013 Courtney
dj
Noah
 Apr 2013 Courtney
dj
A photograph, a raindrop on a rooftop
I want to see you again
You just kind of pop back in my life

Here or there

You're gone again
I'm just stuck in this quiet, stained
glass jar. No sight in,
I can't see out
Like a personal museum
De-loved.
a 24K lip-pump soloist
I wish, I wish, I wish-

A cassette, an old bouquet
I want to see you again
It's horrid and you're not mine anymore

Here or there
Now or ever
twisted nostalgia
 Apr 2013 Courtney
DieingEmbers
There's nothing wrong with missing people

unless





you're a ******.







:)
Next page