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cosmo naught May 2018



this morning, walk to work with you.
Better than ***.


I think that we've figured it out.
If we want it forever, then now we know how
.
cosmo naught Apr 2018

flowers for now,
ripeness for later.

cosmo naught Apr 2018
we certainly got  to know
somethings about each other
but to know really  nothing
,maybe that's the thing
we have  in common,
and i think that's fine.
.
.
.
cosmo naught Mar 2018
If I'm quick enough to smile
before you do
at me,

you straighten,
then relaxedly
soften
to touch.

I love you so much.
cosmo naught Feb 2018
•••

*******

With our

Eyes Open,

on each Other.


Sweaty

foreheads

touching


(Sacral

Four heads

touching.)


the Vacuum

of our Eyes ~

two black Holes

that hold a mirror
cosmo naught Feb 2018
lol
Once

    for a few weeks

    a while ago

    I was creeped out,
    maybe sickened?
    
    by laughter.


It's really not something you can talk about with anyone.

Especially polite company.


I think it terrified me

to hear the laughter and its echoes
and realize,
    not one of us feels joy.
    Not here.
    Not where we are.
    Not who we are while we are here.


The laughter, all so innocent,
    from all of us so guilty.

    And in those rare moments we let ourselves feel,
it was usually shame.
As, just, like, a somewhat interesting aside, my boyfriend broke four ribs during this "weirded out by laughter" episode I had. If something funny happened, even truly enjoyable things, we both would have to suppress our laughter, which is it's own special variety of torture. I cried through MANY of these incidents, feeling horrible guilt for causing him additional pain when I couldn't stop laughing (which is very hard to do when it's real) (thereby prompting his continued laughter) like, it was miserable. It was a fascinating experience at the time, but totally miserable. Social behaviors, man
cosmo naught Feb 2018
I will break my own heart
just fine
thank you

I am a heartbreaker
don't
you
know that?


thousands of hearts
and each of them mine
every time

every night
I will break my own heart
now


maybe I should
break my own heart
now


I am the heartbreaker
Watch as I go
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