In reality
my dream prince didn't have a horse
couldn't even ride a bicycle
had no money for a car

His eyes weren't blue
or dreamy
But even browner
than his skin

And happily ever after
lasted only until
he kicked me out

Het is een stilte die je niet vertrouwen ****
nu stil, maar voor *** lang?
Wat is het volgende geluid, komt er een storm?

Het is een stilte die je overschreeuwen wilt
TV, muziek, misschien moet ik iemand bellen
alles klinkt beter dan wat er nu klinkt

Het is een stilte die bang maakt
dreiging, dichtbij of veraf
en niet weten hoelang

het nog stil zal zijn

Some days it's raining
you filled the sky with colours for so long
and I filled rivers with my tears
when I was with you..
and more when we're apart

But rivers
can cross a lot of nations
ignore borders
and come close to me again
Are you close to me again?

I love you
for you were my biggest mistake
and my truest love
my best friend
and a stranger, even when we lived together

Are you floating towards me again?
Or will you stay out of my reach, and let me
wondering
If you're still inside this sky

Go to sleep now
go to sleep
my angry boy

Go to sleep
forget how the world
treated you

Go to sleep now
don't let your anger
poison you

Go to sleep now
and dream
about forgiving

Go to sleep
put your head
on my lap
and sleep

And know
your girl
will always love you

winter

i didn't have to write those poems
cause you and i already knew what...
yet you and i both lived

as i'm reading your story
as you tear your violin

you broke my heart so many times
that now i'm used to the sound of shredding glass

Cleansing rain
is not yet falling
you still hold me in your grip

yet i know that
you don't know who you are
you don't know how much you hurted

winter, i beg you
build your shadows into wings
change the past into some closure
modify feelings into dreams

winter, i hate you
winter, i love you
winter, i despite you
winter, i understand you
winter, do you have any idea how,

how freakisly hard you froze the lake.

Winter, i will not forget that
if means only if.
denying facts will give me closure
denying you may give me peace.

you're just lying there
a dead limb
not moving
not even sure you're still alive

where ever I go
I carry you with me
it's such a struggle
you're hard to move

You're just lying there
buried under a blanket
But I know you're just hoping
for a day without pain

was it the lighntening in your eyes that hit me?
was it the lonelyness in me?
i started dreaming us together
and i've been dreaming ever since

was it the moon that brought us together?
was it written in the stars?
i started thinking us together
and i thought of it ever since

was it the lonelyness inside me?
was the moon just in my head?
i wanted us to be together
and i'll want us ever since

I'd spent all the money that i don't have
if it made me not tired for an entire day
i'd give up years of my life
to feel good for a while
but if i can never do that
and spent my whole life being weak
i'll still
write awesome stories

You only once
apologised to me
For something I didn't know of
and didn't know was wrong

Maybe it's good
that you tried to change things
but will you ever say sorry
for all the hurt that you caused?

It's both too early
and
too late

but you didn't tell me
anything

left me to guess
is your history a landmine?
Did the world hurt you just as bad
as it hurted me?

You didn't say

All you said was
it's both early and late

and kept the rest
a mystery

It's summer
whenever I close my eyes
and you and I
are together
somewhere
drinking tea
looking at
each other

Happy
Because we're together
it's hard to believe we can actually...
touch
smell
and even kiss each other
after all this time

We're quiet
smiling and crying
because we're trying to comprehend
this miracle
of you and me
meeting
face to face

The silence
between the lines we say is
as deafening
as the shouts of our last fight
the screams in the shower
the icecold water couldn't clean my face

you said you want me back, and yet you blame me
for every little thing you did wrong

i said i want you back, and yet i blame you
for every little thing you did wrong

Maybe i should take some of the blame - or the guilt - but when i try
i feel your angry hand around my wrist

i didn't mean to hurt you
i didn't mean to fly this far away from you
there are seas and continents between us now and skype cannot break this distance

what can you say when tears already flood from my eyes before you're starting
what can i say while i see your heart grow bitter and dark now that my light doesn't touch it

maybe this is nothing but us stopping pretending we can make someone happy
but maybe this is the beginning of the era where no star could ever shine and the sun fades away 'till a thin glow

i stopped crying, my love
one month without you, and my eyes are out of supply
my old life feels like a glove that never fitted
i don't believe you made my hands bigger

but my heart is smaller now
i still hear cracks of little pieces breaking
i still don't know where to go next

Just a few more meters
she tells herself, she has to
no one else will tell her what to do
this time, it's just her, lying on the floor

Just a few more meters
her leg immobolised
she has to lift it with her arms
but she has to get there soon

Just a few more meters
but every centimeter hurts
her tiny appartement suddenly grows
her phone is a thousand miles away

Just a few more centimeters
stretching as far as she can
her phone just out of reach
but she has to reach it soon

Just a few more minutes
when she reaches the table
and finally grabs her phone
the ambulance will finally
be here very soon

it wasn't in the middle ages
but in the era of technology
the knight wasn't a knight
but his heart was warm and loyal and honest
and he found a princess he needed to save

the princess lived in a castle
he couldn't get in without a visa
nor pay the money to fly to her tower
but it was the era of technology
princess and knight could meet online

'some day',  the knight thought
'some day, she'll be my princess
but at least today
she'll be the queen of my dreams'

the princess
fell asleep
and dreamed about a prince
who saved her.

the prince
was asleep too
and dreamed about
saving a maiden

rots
water
zee

langzaam
word ik afgebrokkeld
de zee vecht

ik kan alleen maar

blijven staan

Laag na laag
verberg jij je
je verhult je
in fabels en verhalen
in halve waarheden
en stilzwijgend oneens zijn

Laag na laag
verhul jij je
totdat je zelf denkt
dat je een ui bent
pittig, maar stinkend
lekker, maar nooit om in de fruitschaal te doen

Laat jezelf zien
laag voor laag
onthul jezelf
laat zien wat jij te bieden hebt

Vouw je uit
laat eindelijk je kleuren zien
elke dag iets meer
en ruik
je eigen bloemengeur

Totdat jij eindelijk weet
dat je een roos bent
die in de mooiste vaas mag staan

Hoog daarboven
het vliegtuig
neemt mij niet mee

Ik blijf achter
staar in de verte
reis een jaar terug in mijn hoofd

Toen vlak voor me
een vliegtuig
want nieuw leven
begon vandaag

hold me
i know you're just as gay as i am
and i know we're both so capable of extreme passion

but first
i need you to tell me it's not sin
i need God to be okay with us

and then please
tell my mother how great you are
and tell my church to still like me

i need you to do all that within the next 60 seconds
and then hold me
and never let go

beautiful
imperfect
i can list a thousand things
that i've done wrong

beautiful
so guilty
there's blackness inside
my heart

beautiful
so tired
strugling to stay alife

beautiful
forgiven
today Christ makes a new start with me

she
watched him
as he did the breakfast-dishes
walked out the door
not noticing her face

she
went out
looking everywhere
for a peace of hope on a face

he
riding his car
did not know
what the word 'love'
meant

me
seeing her face
not noticing the meaning
of the things that didn't change

he
coming home
only asks what she made for dinner

she
watching him eat
couldn't explain
why her food turned cold

evening
even colder then the day before
and she
embraced
her nothingness

Ik neem
niet graag afscheid
iemand in mijn hart
blijft daar
voor altijd

Maar jij
zo hard en streng
deed altijd je best
niet te veel te voelen

Jij
sluit je hart
af
alsof het een deur is

ik ben niet meer nodig
dus jij
zonder een woord
verdwijnt
voorgoed

i just have to believe what you say, stranger
because your words are all i've got

i just have to believe your name
though there were no results in facebook or google

i'm just believing that you like me
and that you really would analyse my handwriting
and that you live in the place you're living

but i will never know
if you'll come online
again

i'm a leaf
and my tree left me
some months ago
or: he set me free

there was
a lot of wind
so i'm taking my time
to reach to ground

i wake up
still falling
i go to sleep
still falling

i sit in a train
-falling-
and suddenly a song makes me cry
(tears falling)

i lie to friends
tell them i'm doing okay
i do not tell i'm actually skydiving
without a parachute

the wind, a twirl of emotions
plays with me
lifts me up just enough
so i can keep on falling

and i still haven't reached the ground

i'm still kind of alife

and everything i do is part of that movement called falling

will i ever reach the end?
yes!
and it will not be a crash
i will be catched
my fall is not unnoticed
my pain is not unseen

my Catcher
is watching me
knew i would fall before i knew there was a tree
and i can keep on falling
because i'll fall in His hand

I'm floating
not more feelings
no more doubt

a country
just sounds and lights
no meaning
no pain

Let me stay in this world
of nothingness
where nothing is possible
but no one seems to mind

I'm floating
my own life seems far away
i'm leaving
Leaving me behind

Don't
stop me
Don't tell me emotions are supposed to be real
don't tell me pain is usefull

Let me float
away
from my own
life

De spin
hangt aan een zijden draadje
hij heeft dat draadje zelf gemaakt
nu maar gewoon er niet aan denken
dat dat draadje niet stevig is

I don't remember much
my youth
the lake
fresh blood
his eyes

The pain
the scream that left me
and all the screams that stayed inside
his firm grip handcoffing my wrists
bruises

The fear
of not being in control
helplessness at a time I should
protect myself
guilt


The silence
twenty years of silence
of not dealing with a memory
ignoring facts until they dissapeared
living my life as an aftershock
waiting for those last moments between disaster and death

I don't know what happened
I refuse to remember, even now
but that was the day
the sun went out

I like a little company
there's moments i am home alone
and too sick to leave my room
but there's internet
it helps me trough
i connect with a random stranger
share a few kind words
or get to know them
i made a few kind friends this way
people to look forward to 'seeing' again
or so i thought
and then,  suddenly
right at the center of my screen
an image i'll have to erase later
make my mind clean again
but can never be unseen
my mind exploding in anger
while in the same loosing a potential friend
you wouldn't walk naked on the streets
so please, keep your pants on too on the internet
(or at least the tiny part of internet that involvs me)
i really do not want to see any ******
would it be too hard to respect me?

how to manipulate my past
i need you back
i have to change things
to make you never let me go

Time changes you
a memory, a story
my lips start to forget how you felt
my mind still repeats your phone number, but it doesn't work
you're unreachable now
a memory, a story

a boy i once loved
a man i shouldn't have trust
but i would give anything to see you again
or just to know
how you're doing
did you move on?
or are you also,
crying at midnight
begging the universe to turn back time
do you also crave for a moment with me?
are you trying to remember my smell?
the softness of my hair?

when i lie in bed,
i dream you in my arms
i hold your head against my *******
and my voice finds the words to calm the storms inside you
because that's what i want most
forget everything you did, and just hold you
give you some hope and happyness
just hold you
inside my arms
hold you
make you happy
hold you
until you sleep

Never been perfect
always a mess
your list of ***** ups is
so much longer than achievements
And you walk through life
Like an unwritten tragedy

It's okay to be you
Because I love you
It's okay to be a mess
because we all are
and your biggest achievement is
how you are not hiding!
you show this world every day
how big your heart really is.

It's okay to be you
and not just because I love you
And you're not just a mess
but a work
in progress

one word
to describe
everything inside me

one word
to show you my heart

how could i ever?
what word would i use?

secret

desire

lonely

poetic

heartbeating

alife

but all these things i'm not
and all these words are just
denying who i am

They say it's darkest, right before the light
but as long as you don't see a light
how do you know if it will get any darker?
how do you know life is worth sticking around?

the christmas lights are everywhere
little stars, little lightbulbs
kitsch trying to spread some warmth
but i'm not sure those lights represent hope anymore

i don't want christmas to fool me into believing
but i know i need something to keep me going
i know, i should
turn around and face the Light

Dit is niet echt
je mag het vergeten
Wat niet hardop gezegd
nooit hardop gezegd
bestaat niet
een herinnering
naar iets wat je droomde
je mag het vergeten
jij bent de schrijver
dit is jouw leven
als het niet echt is
is het niet echt
gebeurd zonder gebeuren
je mag het ontkennen
maar dat hoeft net
want het is al niet echt
als jij het nooit
hardop
toegeeft
zal dit nooit
echt
zijn gebeurd

your mind
is a balloon

I only
let go
for half a second

I'm always hoping to see it
small yet magnifient light
reaching my eyes from far away
filled with hopefull promises

I never know when it'll happen
I keep my eyes to the skies
hoping to see something green
A light with healing powers

It's allways a sign for me
Telling me you're close now
Reaching me from far away
And for a very little time

*we're together

all i wanted was you to touch me
knowing if you would i'd scream

never scream
it'll make people realise
you still got a backbone

never scream
it'll make people realise
you might still survive

never scream
it'll make me realise
terrors never stops at midnight

you want to know why i've been so unhappy? said the flower to the tree
the tree just nodded
he didn't understand the feeling
he could view the whole country,
his branches seemed to touch the sky
and he was always as strong as his own roots..

but the flower intrigued him
the flower that always seemed to be crying
but appeared to be so much smarter then him
the flower was the reason the tree sometimes worried his life wasn't as simple as he thought it was
but whenever he asked, the flower just looked at him
with such sad eyes the tree melted

the flower sighed once, but then stayed quiet
he knew he couldn't share its feelings
the intensity of the emotion would break the tree
he would tremble and then fall and probaly crush the flower while hitting the ground
the flower always knew that while it appeared otherwise, he was the strongest of the two
he was the only one to be able to bear the unbearable

and knowing this made him smile

the crystal clear tear stared at me from the cheek it was sliding on
i said: why do you care?
the tear just stared, and slowly fell down

as the tear touched the floor
it already was forgotten
but the cheek still was wet
and the mirror a silence witness

I want to write poems like scented candles
and turn the entire room into something else
I want to be able to move you to tears
just by what i'm saying

I want to describe a flower in a way you can see it
and smell or touch it if you please
I want you to be able to read your misery or heart desires
into the words about mine

I want to fill you with my emotions
Be happy, be sad, think that the world's incredible!
Wonder about my life for a while
And never stop reading my words

't was years ago that i loved you
no, that's not true
i still love you
it's just years ago since i saw your pretty face

't was years ago that you broke me
you left me like broken pieces of a mirror when you cut me out of your life
that cut was hard, and it took me months to regain my shining

't was years ago that i heard from you
that doesn't mean i didn't check your twitter bi-monthly
and i remembered every detail of all the conversations we once had

't was years ago we talked
that one's is true
even though my heart-ache got less, i always kept missing you

today i found your letter
it doesn't matter you adressed it to the whole wide world
i still love you
and i will never see you again
but at least now i know that

you are really happy

It's all coming
the world
responsibilities
it's full of it.

It's all coming
the pressure
your life
make something of it.

It's all coming
stress and worries
pain and fear
and it's okay.
You know you have to go through it.
You know there is no other way.
And it's worth it - you know that too.

It's all coming
but right now it's all still far away
right now you get to rest.
So hit the button
and snooze.

i'll walk away now
leave you behind
if you give it time
i'll just be one of your stories

i'll walk away now
no longer part
of the life we were living
it's all yours now

i'm walking
look at me
as i'm fading
from your view

we held our thumbs up to the moon
looked at stars during daylight

the planets that you fotographed
the passion that we shared

you used to write and i used to listen
i used to write, to hear you say how i was briliant

we were both teenagers
thinking rainbows could have mercy

thinking you and i
might work



we did work
as long as we kept believing it did

as long as we made up our own rainbow
and painted intire skies

Down the hill
near the sea
Is a place
you'd have to see

Happiness
was ours each summer
me and my sister
and our sweet mother

The best times
were always there
but now memories are spoiled
it doesn't seem fair

When I close my eyes
I rewitness a terrible thing
it was a normal day
I was sitting on a swing

But then the war came
the bombings, destruction and defeat
There was so much chaos
I just remember dead bodies and heat

My sister was lying
to safe her own life
And then she had to leave me
become some soldiers wife

It was me left in rubble
Traumatised and lonely
Seen most terrible things
needed someone to hug me

And then a hand
suddenly grabbed mine
It was my dear mother
but she didn't look fine

A part of her skull
was blown away
She was dying in seconds
but had something to say

She was trying
but no words came to surface
She shed her last tear
we were both worthless

I was alone now
and didn't know what to do
no house and no mother
nothing to stick to

I left the little
house down the hill
And now thinking of my dreamhouse
makes me feel cold and ill

Langzaam wordt het later
ik staar naar het plafond, de tijd gaat door
glipt uit mijn vingers
tot ik niet meer weet of ik hier minuten, dagen of maanden was
ik blijf maar wachten
de tijd lijkt langs mij heen te gaan

Later

zal ik misschien weer lachen

Sometimes I wish I was still allowed to call you sister
because it's  the most powerfull word I know
But no matter what the world does to you
and no matter how much you'll change
to become somebody nobody would call a sister
I will be here
and I will be your sister

And if life sometimes makes you so tired
you consider sleeping forever instead
please let me stand next to you
please let me keep talking until the morning
If the world hates you
let me be your world instead
And let me fight at your side
changing the world one stubborn person at a time
I promise we'll get there
I promise they will all love you some day

let me be your God until you find Him back
let me be your life boat in the storm
let me be your water bottle in a dessert
let me be your Lily in the valley of death
let me be anything that keeps you alife

I'll be your willow if you need someone to cry for you
I'll be your car if you want to get somewhere fast
I'll be a poem when you need music
I'll be a mirror, if you want to know if you're still beautiful
(because you are, with or without *******)
let me be your pillow when you're sleepy
and your cup of coffee in the morning
let me be something... anything
because I'd be anyting for you
and I'd do everything

because when my world seems too dark to keep on going
and I need something to hold
you're always the rope to pull me trough
and you're the light that keeps my heart light enough to carry it
I consider it an honour when you sleep on my spare matrass
It's a privelege to be on the other side of the line
when you're on the phone for three hours
I love how neither of us ever hangs up until our mother forces you to go to sleep
I love how you love my stuffed animals more than I do
I love how you never complain about my ***** room
I love how you can spontanously kiss my... toe
I love how you bought and cooked my favorite food when I left you my wallet
I love how you dare to be vulnerable enough to fight to be yourself
I love how you love me so much, I dare to be myself
Happyness is having a hard time keeping up with your awesomeness
Please never doubt it will catch up with us soon

And if you don't want to be my sister anymore
that's okay
you can be my brother or my sibling or anything you'd want to become
because I know nothing more powerful
than my love for you

If feel so lonely
the last time we didn't talk for 7 weeks
was before you learned
how to even talk

There's too many stories
I didn't tell you
Too many problems
I couldn't share

I made life changing decisions
without discussing them with you
So much is happening
but you have no idea

There's a wall between us
you told others to tell me
I shouldn't call anymore
I don't know
if that caused more anger
or pain

I can't reach you
I'm waiting for you
to give some signal
I cry every time
I miss our conversations

I can't break this wall
is it my stubbornness
or yours
telephones
versus what'sapp

If I could reach you
could I overcome my stubbornness
And tell you
how much I care

And if you
would try
to reach me
would I
pick up my phone?

This body is too old to run
All it does today is sit
sit and stare to a world
who doesn't know yet how contemporary
time really is

This body is too old to fight
demons no longer treathened
partying on it's not immortal
soul

This body is too old to hide
Standing in the open
letting everyone
everything
every reason
getting inside

This body is too old to die
The life still burning
won't go out now
I may stick around
forever

The best rain
Is the rain touching somebody
who's been stuck in bed for over a month
pouring through the open window

pouring right into her heart