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 Dec 2013 ComplicatedCharmer
R
ive seen the pictures and gifs of
when people go to far when
cutting.
and honestly, i get
so scared.
to think that people can just
open themselves up and
let blood pour and
spill and not have a
second thought about it
because they are just trying to
let their demons out.

but then i remind myself that
i do the same and that i
could end up on the
bathroom floor if i
dont be careful and
end this addiction
i have.
Nothing So Sensuous


Last night, I went back in time and met Alice Liddell in 1862.  
Alice Pleasance Liddell, known for most of her adult life by her married name, Alice Hargreaves, inspired the children's classic Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll, whose protagonist Alice is said to be named after her.  See her, greet her, in my banner photo, and all will clear.
~~~~~~~~~

nothing so sensuous
as to watch a woman,
nay, a woman child,
brush her hair
in the mirror.

sensuous,
more than sensual,
all my senses
affected.

luxuriating in a gift that
cannot be
bought,
her head titled,
then thrown
from her chest as far back,
your eyes see waves
of chestnut in
slow motion,
the smile on her face
for the knowing that
she has
sorcerer succeeded
in capturing
all of you.

mesmerizer,
she languidly strokes
her hair,
though it needs it not.
no, she brushes you
to your
knees,
your eyes,
see her eyes,
in the mirror,
the woman's sensuality
maddening.

every sense alerted,
you body fired,
far beyond
merely stirred,
she has you,
and then she asks...

would you brush my hair?
have you ever been in love?
have you ever had to tell someone
you no longer loved them
though you still did?


you answer:

Oh yes, Oh may I?

yes, with you totally, at this very instant.

yes, for I
must leave you
and return to
my time, my age,
150 years from now


the only way
I can do that
is to lie to myself,
no, I do not love you
that much,
not that way,
pretense,
for the agony of this


impermissible desire

is such ecstasy,
that I can
only dare to
write of it,
in my time,
lest I fulfill
it in ours.
A true story, a true adventure. If u want to time travel with me, then u must come to NYC, for that is where I depart.  All expenses paid for time travel.  You come here, we travel. Must be 21 and over and bring proof of age.  They are Fussy, about that!
Also, must make reservation well in advance. Small time travel machine accommodates only 15 people....and currently the only "destination" is Victorian England.
brave
i stood tall
silly
i let down walls
i was too busy
to guard my heart
too busy writing to think
about art
i forgot the basics
how do i breathe
but i can stand
on my own two feet
wobbly from getting up
i forgot how to walk
why did i fumble
i should have known better
but i clumsily stumble
in your direction
but you don't catch me
though it's not cold rejection
i missed because i had no compass
i didn't have a map
and honestly who was i kidding
i never had a chance.
It’s okay to be alone
To stand on your own

Even when standing means
kneeling with arms throwing
prayers to God
Even when standing means sitting
and looking through memories
in photographs
Even when standing means crying
making yourself lighter in the tears
floating away
Even when standing means stepping
and putting one foot in front
to brace your desire of
moving on

It’s okay to be together
With hands held tight

Except when hands are swords
thrown more carelessly
than insulting words
Except when hands are lies
beckoning false hope to set up
camp in broken homes
Except when hands are eyes
pulled away by naked screens
crushing bones and hearts
Except when hands are pocketed
because being together
isn’t all it’s cracked up to be

It's okay to be brave.
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