The early risers
Are ripped from their sleep
By tinkles and chimes
Of programmed alarms

They tread their cold floorboards
To peer in their mirrors
Observing dark shadows
Beneath their worn eyes

They are the ones
Who meet with bewilderment
The dark of pre-dawn
And ponder its death

They are the ones
Who half-asleep shuffle
Along broken pavements
Avoiding black puddles

They are the wearers
Of gloves and wool hats
Thick scarves and overcoats
And knotted shoe laces

A slumber-some army
Making their pilgrimage
To station and hospitals
Factories and schools

They are the ones
Who catch the first birdsong
The breaking of dawn
The crisp of the air

They are the ones
Who gaze at the moonlight
Wonder at stars
And think of the spring

They are the ones
Who live out the hours
Whilst we comfortable sleepers
Lie warm in our beds

Wash my swollen fingertips
In the salt of tender tears

Press hot sponges
Against my aching belly

Wrap my body
In softest towelling

Cleanse my lungs
With fragrant steam

Massage my rigid muscles
With oils and herbs

Apply tinctures
To heal my fractured soul

Hold my head
With your soft hands

And kiss my eyelids
To ease my mind

Haul me to my feet
And I will stand

To face the jeering crowds
And sharpening knives

Grip my collapsing knees
And I will speak daring truths

Celebrate the greatness in me
That you have never seen

And I will become a man
You can but dream of

The great sea
Never rests

Undulating
Swelling
Churning
Purifying

Changing
Colours
Turquoise
Blue
Black
Grey

I am with you
In you
Surrounded by you
And I know
The great swell
Of your fervour

You
Untameable
Home
To more
Than I
Could imagine
Roll and sway

And I
Depart
Distanced
From your ***** energy
With each step
I take inland

But I return to you
Awed by your majesty
My earthly pursuits
Reconciled
And levelled
By your greatness

I sit
In the quiet
Awaiting
A storm

I wait
For the first
Distant rumble
To sound

I sit
With myself
In the present
Moment

For I know
This reverie
Soon
Will pass

Maybe
I'm dreaming
And I'm not really
Awake

Maybe
I'm dumb
Unable
To speak

Maybe
I'm waiting
To make
My mark

Maybe
I'll become
Great
At last

Will anyone tell me
What is good
What is bad?

Or do I have
To work it out
Myself?

I sit
In the quiet
Awaiting
A storm

I sit
In the quiet

I sit
Alone

I am nearing the end
My final few hours
And I look back
At time

And I see death

Death of ordinary people
Children
Fathers
Mothers
Grandparents

Men
Standing
In uniforms
Hold their guns high
Waving their decorated arms
Smiling

I see
The washed up bodies
Of infants

Innocent
Like rag dolls

Cradled in the arms
Of rescue workers

I see women intimidated
Men bullish
Political agendas
Thrusting decency and courtesy
Aside

And I feel myself
Pulled downwards
By the current of inhumanity

And I worry
About myself

Alone

In some distant
Safe place
Hearts beat together
Warm

Children have no fear
And adults
Are united

There are no wars
There is no hunger
Home is home
And no one is forced away from it

There is more than enough
Food to go round

And people take pleasure
In offering to others

And the air is clean
And the water pure
And the land is filled
With the sounds of nature

And I wonder

How kind
Can one man be
In twenty
Seventeen?

There is no true happiness
For human beings
Other than the great act
Of human compassion

Nothing fires the soul
Illuminates the darkness
More brilliantly

There is no better way
To feel alive
Than to support the lives
Of others

The moon is watching everything
Safely distant
Silently observing

Human ******* lies everywhere
Decaying so slowly
Sodden albino leaves press against asphalt
And discarded plastic bottles
Gather dirt

Winter is coming
Winter is upon us
Will Spring ever come again?

Tiny creatures
Navigate
This world of human detritus
Only the moon is pure
For earth is become
Polluted

Have the trees lost hope
For their future?

Our hearts are closed
By the turn of world events
And fear swirls up
Laughing somehow
At the weak

'More! More! More!'
They cry
And we accelerate
Towards an end
We never wanted

Child
Caught in adult form
Regressing
Disappearing
Into smaller circles

Moving only
Into the past
Hurting those
Who happen to be close

Comfort in conflict
Fearful of unity
Mistrust
Your only constant companion

I am running
On faith

Everything
I thought I had
Is gone

Everything
I thought I was
Has changed

And I am an outline
Of the man
I was

I have been
Emptied
Into time

I am
Now

Full of nothing
But

Faith

I cannot deny
That the edge is near
I navigate
A tightrope
Wobbling as I go

The sun rises again
Always there
Golden
Magnificent
Warming a twelve foot blanket of mist
That hugs the earth

As long as the sun rises
Nature knows what to do
Birds fly
Plants grow
Horses chew the grass
As long as the sun rises

If only the sun would rise
In my life

I would glow
I would grow
I would survive
I would thrive

I would be happy

I’ve grown tired of waiting
For another to shine

Now
I must shine
Alone

Can I tell you
How I really feel?

Would I embarrass myself
Would I shed a tear?

For years we have been together
And now I must part

But I will keep your voice
Close to my heart

Can I describe to you
What you have made me feel?

Can I share with you
Moments of pride, hours of joy?

Would you laugh at me
If my words come out wrong

Would you cry with me
For people now gone

Could we remember
All the memories we have?

Or does time pass too quickly
To allow us the chance

We did our beautiful dance
You and I

And now we must part
And say

Goodbye

Christmas tree
You stand quietly
At our window
Sparkling
Shining
Wearing decorations of
Green
Red
Blue
Yellow

Glowing
Before blurry eyes
Warming our hearts
Against the cold

Standing
Silently
While ceremonies
Of the season
Unfold
Before you

The discomfort
Of my comfort zone
Far outweighs
The discomfort
Of
The unknown

To live
Alive
Surpasses
The enactment of
A living death

If I were to live
In the same old way
I would experience
The same old things

So, if I can live
In a different way
I will be taking steps
Into the unknown

Movement of earth
Skies above
A flash of light

But a dream

Winged creatures
Leafy promontories
Well trodden pathways

But a dream

Shroud of mist
Unknown futures
Exciting to ponder

But a dream

Familiar to unfamiliar
The song of an infant
Grey brown warriors emerging

But a dream

By trying to be
Who I really am
I’m trying to be someone
I think I should be

Does that mean that I am not being
The real’ true me’
Or does it mean that the true me
Is someone who tries?

Robin
You stand atop the lamp post
Your breast red
Vibrant
Shining

You are singing

Just singing

Your eyes sparkle
As you look out to the day

Alive
Delighted to live
Happy
Confident
Joyful

Robin
You care not
For human troubles
Your day lies ahead of you
And you will live it
Without hesitation

Joy is to be found
In seeing young people
Working together
Laughing
Discovering their identities
Creating memories

Those of us
Who are adults
Can support the young
On their voyage
Of learning

We owe
A brilliant future
To our young

The future
Should be built
For them

How could you take my life
When we drink from the same river?
How could you hurt me
When we eat at the same table?
Why plot against my kinsfolk
When we are born of one nature?
Why deny my offspring food
While yours grow obese?
Why must we sleep rough
While hotels sit empty?
Why is your body of a different class
When the carbon that makes me is identical to yours?

We are from the same mould
Eternally connected
Our minds may be different
Our bodies from one soil

The morning sun
The glass of the pond
The waves in sand
The criss cross of clouds
The sparkle of frost
The curling of fallen leaves
The wrapping of scarves and hats
The ripples of ice
The chill of the air
The puff of breath
The jag of metals
The fire of the morning
The silhouettes of bare branches
The purple haze over rolling fields
The sound of stillness
The dance of a bird
The sleep of spiders
The blowing of noses
The huddling of bodies
The shiver of wild horses
The undulations of rest
The promise of spring

The politics of hatred
Are at play in our nation
A drama of conflict
Marching in, rolling out

Aggressors jeer drunkenly
Assailing integrity
Opponents lash out
Tottering, unbalanced

Our children are dragged
Deep into the fray
Positioned by gladiators
Engaged as arbiters

Small lives lie shaking
And torn asunder
Forced to take sides
In a war of monsters

We are pushed to believe
In a dichotomous world
A heaven and hell
A right and wrong

A world of extremes
Where people divide
A dog eat dog world
Where the dogs are raging

Rabid with rage at the love
That's denied them
Furious at loss
Of a life never lived

Incensed at the dreams
They birthed and destroyed
Withered and brittle
Encased in concrete

While one is left standing
Another's defeated
Crumpled and wheezing
Ribs shattered, skulls cracked

An ill gotten prize
Grows intolerable to bear
The chains weighing heavily
On the winners and losers

The instruments of power
Work ******* the people
Wearing away
At self belief

We are told to think thoughts
That the state has invented
Daily demands  
To expose our weakness

Crushing humanity
Beneath tabloid mountains
Hatred and jealousy
Abound in this time

In this age of quarrels
And vicious reprisals
The people stand desolate
With eyes red and bleary

Hands reach out trembling
With broken fingernails
Yearning for hope
That has slipped from the Earth

This is my sunrise
This is my golden morning
Not even the fiercest enemy
Can wrest this from me

So dazzling that I can barely look
So bright and true
As to leave glowing imprints
On my retina

Burning golden orb
Owning the cloudless sky
Radiating warmth wherever you go
You bring life to all around you

Melting the overnight frost
On blades of grass
Filling me with hope
Warming the inside of my bones

You, the sun of hope
Are rising
To banish the darkness of the night

Trees lean into you
Their hundreds of years of life
Nurtured by your offerings

I wish that your rays
Would fill my blood
And travel through every vessel in my body

You, our sun, could never die
And we, your children
Are given eternal life

Have I caused offense
By not wearing a poppy?

Have I upset
Keeping my money from that ***?

Am I unpatriotic
By not wearing a 'help for heroes' t shirt?

Am I un-British
For questioning if there are heroes or not?

To sign up for the forces
Requires full obedience
To follow the orders
Of commander in chief

To fight an agenda
Remotely decided
And come back dismembered
To your homeland for what?

'What do you know?
Where have you been?
What have you seen?'  
You may well ask

But I can't help wondering

Why would you go there?
What's great about weapons?
What's fair about killing?
After all, that is what's required

More
Food
Sleep
Fun
Money
Happiness
***
*****

More
Peace
Quiet
Contentment
Smiles
Touch
Caresses
Love

More
Taste
Succulence
Tenderness
Friendship
Joy
Laughter
Music

More
­Healing
Hope
Beauty
Colour
People
Nature
Living

More
This
That
Them
Us
Me
You
It

More
Depth
Soul
Searching
Falling
Further
With
In

Man:

That’s all right
I’m on the train
That’s all right, mate
Lee’s coming in
It’s all good
Speak to you later
It’s all good
Ta-da
Bye

Girl:

Oh my god I start at 9 not 11
I’m on the train
Hello
Hello?
Hello!
Hello?
Hello!
Hello!
Ah…ok
Hello?
No Yes
Last night?
I was like, I start at nine, so I got up at six
No one was awake
So I got up early…

Yeah, yeah I know…
Yeah but it’s stopped at Pitsea for ages
No, there’s not one
I don’t know
Yes, it going to Grays
Yeah
Yeah yeah it’s fine
Yeah
I think I’m still finishing at three
Oh no no no no no no
I finish at 1pm
Ok
All right
Bye

(PAUSE)

*Hello?
Ah ok, ok
The next station is Stanford
Ok wait so you said one at 8.18?
So even if I don’t make that, I will still make it
I have to be 10 minutes early
Yeah
Yeah
Ok
All right
Ok
Bye

I'm having a day off
I'm taking my time
I'm not carrying on carrying on

I'm having a day off
I'm taking it easy
I'm not even answering the phone

I'm taking a break from all rushing about
I'm pressing the pause button down
I'm staring aimlessly right out of my window
Apparently l'm out of town

I'm quietly being alone
I'm quietly being myself
I'm letting the others charge on with their stuff
I'm making myself feel at home

I'm boiling the kettle for endless tea
And preparing to do nothing at all
I'm waiting for quiet, then birdsong and then
I’ll listen to nothing some more

I'm taking a day off from everything
I'm cancelling all meetings today
I'm out of the office
And stuck in the bath
I will not be coming out to play

I sit on the train
Holding my net

Hoping to catch ideas
From the ether

Something to write
Something to share

My net has holes
And so do I

Substances pass through me
Pulses of energy
Liquid
Air
Food

And I go on
Wondering

What am I doing?
Where am I going?
Why do I live?
Why?

I eat, drink, sleep, wake
Breathe

Breathe

Oxygen in
Carbon dioxide out
In, out
In, out

Even great thinkers
Struggle to answer
Why are we here?

Why am I here?

Food makes me strong
Air keeps me conscious
Water keeps me clean
Sunlight warms me
All very well
But why am I here?
Why am I here?
Why am I here?

I try to remember
That I can give love
Care for others
Change things round

And still
And yet

Air passes through me
Water and food
Sunlight
Starlight
Cosmic rays

And then I recall

What I am

A dancing star
Manifest
For one short lifetime
Only

Child of this earth
Made of all things
That go up to make
The universe

As child of the earth
Should I drain my mother of all life?
Should I not repay her kindness
With work?
With love?

How could I repay
Each fruit tree
Each ocean
Each ray of sun
Each cloud
Each winter chill
Each burning flame
Each tiny seed
Each birth?

With words?

With care?

With work?

With love?

Each bacterium
That keeps me safe

Each system
That keeps me safe

Each being
That keeps me safe

Opens my eyes
And protects my life

The planet
The air
The oceans
The sunlight
The rivers and earth
And all living beings

They are my mother
They are my father

And to them all
I owe everything

Softly
Gently
A familiar voice rises
One that makes water flow
From behind my eyes

Musical sounds entwine
Undulate and sway
And I am buoyed
Lifted from sadness
Known
Once more

Vibrations drift
From head to heart
Transporting me
To youth
Nostalgia
With sweetness
Kindness

Such sounds
Deeply resonant layers
Smooth
Like melted chocolate
Make me
Ok again

The familiarity
Of such great composition
Wrap humanity
Around me
Like swaddling

Young politician
Remember to learn
Before you try to lead
'Driving up standards
Takes leadership', you say

Leadership is listening
Leadership is caring
Leadership is learning

Leadership means reforming your own character
Instead of trying to reform others

Before you build something new
Build on what is there

Young politician
You are there to serve
Not to dictate
You are there to explore
Not to judge

Young politician
Others must guide you
For you may guide yourself and others
To desperation

How fortunate
The view
From my eyes

Everything I need
Is at hand

The russet colours
Of autumn
Abound
Dazzling

Whilst houses sit
Quietly decaying
The seasons change
Around them
Palette of life
Transforming, renewing

This, most magnificent time of year
This twilight time
Cleanses my soul

Trees exhibit a final display of splendour
Variant with each passing day
Crisp with colour

And people
Great people
Their hearts ablaze
Come together
United through art
Joined in song
To share their lives
To share this day

Circles surround me
Sun
Moon
Earth

Night
Day

The revolution of
The wheels of our lives
Turning, turning
Driving forward, forward

The movement of clouds around the sky
Raindrops on my window pain
Shimmering gold in the morning sunlight

The blue of day
The black of night

The circular flapping of wings

The roundness of your body
The green of your eyes

The rolling of the seasons

The passing of years
The easing of childhood
To teenage-hood

The maturing of minds
And collective consciousness

I see circles
I feel them
Turning me
Round

Who am I?

Who am I if?

Who am I if
I decide
To be kind
To treasure mankind

Who am I?
Who am I?

What if?
What if I?

What if I
Can make a difference
Decide to work hard
To somehow win?

What will I do?
What will happen?

What?
What?

And what if all
I try to do
Should come to pass?
Come to pass?

What if?
What if?

Perhaps I will learn
To care for you
To care for me
To care for we

Perhaps?
Perhaps?

Perhaps I'd connect
Disconnected hearts

Thaw the winters
Of eternal worry

Maybe I'd plant
The seeds of hope

And grow a spring garden
For all to enjoy?

Maybe?

Maybe?

If
If I...

If

If

If

Frown lines weigh
Upon my brain
Again again
I’m here again

Torment bubbling
Inside and out
Great concrete towers
Rise up too high

In the distant future
Celestial light
Illuminates the green foliage
Of untold growth

I don’t understand why
We suffer as we do?
But we do
We do

When you are tired and empty
Hungry and ill
The world seems grey
Colourless, the day

Gone
Are the dead
Gone
From the now

So what to do
When we are living?

Sometimes, I know
That I don’t know

Perhaps it is just
To join the flow

Or beat through the crap
Of a mindset trap

And that is that
To beat the crap

I prayed for something this morning
I prayed this morning
And now this?
Now this
Now this?

So far
I’m lucky
So why complain
I got a seat
Upon my comfy train

But if I were to go
Against the grain
And fight the pain
To find the will
To climb the hill
Remember the prize
Before my eyes
To struggle home
And I'd have won
I'd have won

But I didn't win

Or did I?

Did I?

If I let the sun rise
All will be well
Will all be well?
All will be well

But who can tell?
In the split second of now
What is the victory?
What is defeat?

To fight
For a humane goal
Makes one worthy

To play one's part
On life's great stage
Is noble

To struggle alongside others
For a greater good
Is the path to victory

Happy are those
Who dare to change their hearts

Bold are they
Who express their truth

Valiant are they
Who battle the storms of the future
Undaunted

I have the strangest feeling
It comes from who knows where
This world was made for loving
And heartfelt tender care

I dream all day and send my wish
To share just what I think
I try to warm my battered heart
And make a human link

It can't be right to fight it out
And crush a fellow man
With weapons built incessantly
To terrify a different clan

I sit alone and contemplate
The beating of my heart
And wonder if the way to live
Is such a strange and tricky art

For times are mad when right is crushed
And wrong seems the new order
I pray that people find their feet
To cross beyond this crazy border

Perhaps I'm just too old fashioned
And lost in my beliefs
But loving, kindness tender care
I think are all we need

On this day
In 1971
I emerged
From my mother’s womb
To meet the world
As it was
On armistice day

And now
I stand
A man
A father
Looking back
Looking forwards
Ageing
Ageless
Adult
Grown

I pause
Half way
Across the ocean
Of my earthly existence
And realise
There is no turning back
Only the future
Only what I do next
And how I choose to live

One day
I will be your refugee
I will be your migrant child
I will be the one
Knocking on your door

No warm croissants
No safe train rides to work
No comfy sofas
No birthday cards and presents

One day I will be your refugee
A homeless traveller
Seeking asylum
Longing for safety
Searching for humanity

One day
One day

One day
You will be my refugee
And you will come to me for help

You will reach out your hand for money
For something to eat
For a roof over your head
You will ask me for a shelter
For your family

And my door will be open to you
I promise

So are you in?
Or are you out?

What lifetime are you in
In this lifetime?

Are you one of the lucky ones?
One of the us’s?
Or one of the them’s?

One day
We will all have our part to play

In need
Or helper

How we play
Is our legacy

The end

Is

The beginning

I see the eyes of the child
In your face
Shining brightly
Then recoiling suddenly, imploring
As you whisper
The horrors you have witnessed

Secrets you have kept
Shame you have felt
Guilt you have borne
When you were too young
To bear it

The fear you endured
The terror of your survival
The aching for a new dawn
The longing for safety

All are yours

Friend
You share
Your darkest secrets with me
Guiding me willingly
Through the dark, screaming tunnels
Of a traumatic youth

And I see your fear
I see your despair
Written with a tear
In your human eyes

Why am I telling you this?
You ask me
And I listen, with all my being
To the darkness of your sorrow

Friend
I know that you are ready
To be who you truly are
To set the child free
To become the one
You have the right to become

Yours is the future now
The tormentors are gone
Their histories will no longer
Strangle your hopes

When I sit with you
Silent
In the pitch black caverns of the past
I listen and I listen

And
Wonder

As you become
A candle
You become
A flame
You become
A beacon
You become
An inspiration
For millions and millions of lives
For whom terror
Is
The truth

In your search for your truth
You illuminate the truth for me
And I
Am left
Humbled
By your gift
Honoured by
Your life
Changed by
Your courage
Renewed by
You

What once was there
Has gone

I never knew loss
Until now

Your great presence
Has departed
Like the last train
Disappearing softly into the night

And we, who are left
On the platform of our lives
Feel your absence
Remember your presence
And realise, the good times we shared
Are over

We who experience the loss
One day will become ‘the departing’
And our pain
Will be felt
By others

Friend

I'm glad to see you
You know me
Want the best for me

Friend

You always have a smile for me
A spare bed for me
A drink for me

Friend

You are my saviour
A treasure
Companion

Friend

You indulge my imagination
You listen
And help me feel human again

Friend

You lift me from my troubles
Setting me straight
You never let me down

Flat
Quiet
Drained
Empty
You sit
Present
For all
To see

Please revive
Yourself
Treasured one
You are here
With us
Eternally

This wonderful being
Needing friendship now
Is struggling hard
Struggling hard

Don’t give up
Dear friend
Keep trying
Shoulder to shoulder
We will help you rise
To let the sunlight
Pour over you

Nothing stays still
Everything changes
Even mountains will move
In time

Your life will grow
And flowers bloom
Amongst the vibrant
Spring

The sky is like the sea

Golden stripes  
Blended with orange
Clouds like white horses
Decorating a mauve canopy

Three birds race across this magnificent vista
And in the distance flocks dance

A hazy mist lies above the sea line
And I feel lucky to be alive

Around the corner
A view more spectacular
Than I could ever imagine

Thin parcels of rainbow light
Straw coloured fields
Above the swirly firmament

I wonder what life is created there?
Only the birds know

I journey from the sea to the city
And the show of Autumn colours changes

Towers of trees
Rivers of light
Replaced by standing steels
Monuments of humanity
Some swathed in spirit
Others bedecked with hunger

A silent city
Devoid of people
Would tell its own history

But today is Friday
And the streams of humanity
Flow together
Once more

Fight
With your last ounce of strength!

Stand up
For what you truly believe!

Politicians
Will come and go
Eager for their moment in the spotlight

But
The brave
Give their lives
For truth and justice

Fight
With your last ounce of strength!

Stand up
For what you truly believe!

Give honour
To yourself

Surround your life
With dignity

Be a great human being

Be a great human being

Again
Again
Again
Sunshine
You show me how to shine

To be better
Than I am

To fight against inertia
Once again

Again

I pass through these fields
On the road of survival.

Survival

Survival?

I want life itself to be a joy
But inside I feel dreary
Weary
Energy slumping
Sliding
Declining
Am I dying?
In my own small way?

So, let them test my blood
To tell what they can
My greatest challenge
Will await me
For sure

The birds flock
Round the ******* tips of Pitsea
Anything to survive

If I am to be re-born
Let me be a bird
Let me fly without thinking
Let my instinct take over
And lift me above the politics
Of small circumstance

Let me fly!
Let me fly!
Let me fly!

Ripples of clouds
Layered like whisked milk

A glimpse of gold

Birds, beaks down
Picking salty offerings
Of low tide

Sleeping boats lie
Exposing their bellies

Brave ivy clinging to railings

Silver hairs decorating
Narrow skin of a man’s temple

The green of widening veins
Drawing maps on my hands

Outside there is mist
Everywhere

In here a collection of silent travellers.

We know this road too well
But do we dance at our destination?

Life goes beyond the grasp of our expectation
And we are suddenly decades collected

And if storms can be weathered
There will be collections of memories
Experiences of treasure
And life, lit well by the lanterns of joy

All things come and go in circles
Everyone can be pulled together
For the heart is the most magnificent *****
From which all power emanates

Hossty mogarty
Fistral brist
Ay sluggery bithlle bat
Tinkletun misk

Foraven mo groggle
Terappitur drast
In camperidge burbow
Ill wungledon masst

Ee burbinger hoddle
Yie tungldown gossts
Am risstle oopsingen
Ter platiffer hoast

En dungledoon oppers
Woa bloaten ett ghabb
Mer tickerrn billborron
Furen dishten lab

I am me
You are you
What you do
Is up to you

What I do
Is mine
Alone

You and me
Are we
You know

We are you
And me
Together

I’m an island
You the sea

I’m the sea
Around your island

Being free
Eternally

Though we parted
Years ago

Hearts still beat
So complete

We are one in
Parallel

Different worlds
Life unfurled

Faith
Is like
A chair...

Strong when there are four legs
Dangerous when a leg is missing

My faith
Is my belief
And
My disbelief

The challenge is
To change the belief
And the disbelief