the time around us kept on running
but we stayed stagnant.
the trees tremble around us as the wind shrieked.
i never listened to the world
but to you, i always listened
i listened to all the blades you threw at me
piercing my ears, pushing it deeper,
ripping my insides into shreds
allowing scarlet to cascade down my ears
i’ve always kept it for myself so you won’t ever worry.
i wasn’t sure if i was enough for you
and in the midst of tearing myself up to change for you,
i open my gaze downwards out past the soot-black air
my eyes trailed and focused on the pool of red.
breathing into my ear,
please—stop.

i wonder if
the starlight looks
the same to you
as it, to me.

i wonder if
you look at the
sky as if we
were saying each
other’s farewells.

i wonder if
the space between
the moon and us
is still as empty
as it’s always been.

i wonder if
you look back to
the days we spent
together as
if it mattered.

something that was
perfectly wrong
that it became
significant.

i’ve waited for this moment
for everything to end.
where we end up looking at each other
knowing that we’ve grown together
and matured together,
as a family.

i hope you feel happier
resting your head next to someone
who loves you
saying good morning
each and every day
as the sun brightens up the room.

i hope you feel at ease
knowing that he'll always be
there for you
knowing that i'll always be
rooting for you
even when i'm not next to you.

i hope he's worth all you
say he is
kind, loving and fun.
and i hope you never realize
my worries.

i hope you never know
how hypocritical my thoughts can be
compared to my words.
how one word means the opposite
when scattered out my mouth.

i hope you never realize
how painful it is for me to be
here with you.
you, being oblivious to how i feel.

but i hope you're embraced with love
i wish i could give
without sacrificing my heart.
you deserve someone
who speaks their heart
and mind as one.

i wish you knew
that someone, will never be me.

(i) (one): escape
the world
filled with hatred
and loneliness.

ii (two): (help) make her
life less gloomy
and tired.

iii three: let (her) be
free of hatred
and loneliness.

the strong smell
of coffee beans
and moist wood
wraps around her
body like a blanket.

the dark, bitter-tasting coffee
slowly making its
way down her throat,
filling her up with warmth
as if she was being
hugged by two
loving arms.

the silent drops of rain
racing each other
down the glass window,
making her mind
wander off into
the unknown.

vivid memories
start rushing back to her
as she stares at
the gentle, rapid raindrops
and takes another
sip of the coffee.

she was brought back
into the known world
as the barista
calls out her name,
realizing that all along,
the coffee she had
been stealing sips
off of, was not hers.

you shadow yourself
and your best friend runs away,
leaving the door wide open
for enemies to break in
and ruin your mind.

you hide your eyes
behind hair as cold as ice
to feel safe inside your little house,
where no one can
spew negativity.

you start feeling safe
behind the thin, frosty bars.
locked up inside a space
where you can see them
but they can’t see you.

her surroundings are hushed
as she steps into a foreign world
where nothing seems rushed.

on what seems to be barren ground,
lies an object that holds the power
to open a long lost wound
or turn back an hour.

with her eyes on fragile glass
she seeps into an unfamiliar perspective,
becoming one with her own essence.

she would never have experienced
freedom from the chains of the universe
if she was not curious to look

through the eyes of another.

i'm over you.
i'm not over you.
i will be over you.
i never will be over you.

i was comfortable,
you were not.
i am comfortable,
you never will be.

we were comfortable,
for a while.
but our "while" lasted
shorter than we thought.

i was sorry,
so were you.
i'd still be sorry
but you'd be enjoying life

without having to worry about me anymore...

nothing hurts more than when someone you care about believe it's alright for you to rot with curiosity.

trapped inside,

behind bars that will never be answered.

the rustling of leaves
bring me back to where it all began.
the way you look at the sky,
with your bright eyes
along with your hearty laugh.
you look at everyone with the warmest smile.

but sadly,
you never take a chance to look
at the people closest to you.
you barely take time to look inside,
forgetting that i exist within you.

but you’ve made me who i am now.
the ugly truths which lie inside my mind,
the facade i put on everyday;
to satisfy the people around me.
it takes all the will i have
within me to restrain myself.
to stop thinking
about what people think of you.

and at last,
to forget about you,
forget that everything we had
and experienced.

however,
these short segments of my life
that i spend together, with you,
will never leave me.
because it’s buried deep inside me.
like a lost memory
constantly reminding me of who i am.
what i am.
an ordinary human,
with a forgotten soul.