&& in that moment everything turned white.
As if life were as clear as snow.
The tidal waves of insecurity, sadness and denial suddenly calmed down.
The misty haze of infidelity, betrayal and ignorance were lifted from my eyes && a new world appeared.
Moment of extreme clarity where mind meets nirvana.
I looked in the eye of God and turned my back on him, blew a kiss at the devil && walked away.
I was handed the key of absolute knowledge && was freed from the shackles of my oppressors.
That brief blizzard of purity.
My beautiful reality.

a guy sits here
hair a twist
no ordinary man
but a case
whatever prefix fits

he knows no limitations
seeks no thrill but fear
holds no memory dear
brains grasp simply too frail
such a broken outside
and gargoyles pier
however
he tranquilizes them
anytime someone comes near
yet the people abstain still
no shame, no cheer

they simply cannot see what purity
he has in his crypt
intimidated
severe

so let us move forward and glaze over the thick
move towards the misery which anguishes him

nonsense is sensical, whimsy at best
rational is of logic and dreary
detest

******* and thumbing
he frantically does his best
pulls his hair out
pulls his hair out
closed fist
punches chest

"where is she
where is her
name i cannot confess
for it escapes me...
not because
but rather-"

due to his distress

he stopped and sighed
violence
cried
broke down
then bled
red from his eyes

i want her
the sad one
shy

hurt inside

abused, accursed
diseased but undisguised

she'll love me

she will
there's nothing there to hide
she'll make me forget myself
sing or dance or
romanticize

"i want her...
a baby's friend
the neighbor's newborn daughter
the baby friend that came over
as an infant, i saw her
i kept the same heart
but its been through a lot
and now its done with slaughter

i kept the same heart
its growing apart
i need the neighbor's daughter"

it seems as though convinced
he truly had the heart of a newborn
ambivalent
knowing no complexity
purely hurt or comfort
either way's a shoulder
diamond or dirt
seemed to be bipolar

so he seeks the same
not the opposite
that would be a shame

because no one else can relate
to someone who feels the world
has turned its back on fate

he seeks out this girl
overlooking
all the beasts in his way

with evil colors they mask their face
appear to appeal, they may

but he knows better
their defenses fragile
they attract a plethora

to which they expose
like a sinister rose
the black rock in frame

the black rock so hard
shapely carved
to which its "blacksmith"
inscribes no name

a black heart
he sighs
which holds no light

might as well not exist

I spoke French for thirteen years
I say to him
And he smiles.

More cheese.

Soft night yields to love,
Rap is the only hard night sound,
The White man is out of his depth,
Even in French.

He leans forward and whispers in my ear but,
The first lie was mine.

We’ll count them later,
In the fullness of time.

I would dip in that spring,
never full, but in spate
at such moments
of deep engagement,
with the cryptic voices of nature.
In a rush of passion
I would reach for those
lovely peaks that shiver
as if by tremors
that rumble deep below.

With my trembling heart,
I would catch your broken song,
though out of tune,
thrills and urges me,
to do whatever pleases me.
You are a cloud transparent,
that envelopes moon
with swift hands of wind,
the swirls, the twists and  the turns
aren't us, but nature, in glorious motion,
dancing in tune with our essence.

In effulgent moments, like sky birds,
when we transcend limits,
lips, parched leaves
quickly swell up like orange slices,
love in swift moves creates wonders
with its magic wand.

Experience now,
the music of motion,
an explosion
in which we are thrown up,
to a state of timelessness,
and at last hands entwined,
we walk in the garden
where wild orchids in bloom
paint our dream in vivid colors.

i close my eyes as you press your body into mine
i feel the yearning between my legs, the ache in your ****
the vibration is taking over us now
we succumb to our desires as you bite my neck, thrusting into me--
i moan softly in your ear, nibbling and breathing my lust on your neck
you push into me, deeper, deeper
we sway in rhythm with each other, not thinking, just feeling
i dig my nails into your skin, almost drawing blood
your look at me then, with such warmth and affection in your eyes
no one knows your body like i do
we hold each others gaze for a long moment, never losing momentum
your lips find mine and our souls collide
yes, yes, i moan
you breathe into my neck as i taste your sweat, salty and ****** on my tongue
i pull you deeper into me, wrapping my legs around your waist, lifting higher and higher
our bodies are one..
release
our ecstasy has reached its peak
elevation comes winding slowing back down to earth
we lay limp in each others arms, our hearts pounding against each others skin, beating as one
your face brushes mine as you hold me tighter, never wanting to let me go
i whisper that i love you and my lips vibrate with the sound
i can practically see your ears tingle
trembling, you lift yourself from the comfort of my embrace, our skin peeling away from each other
a peck on the cheeck and the moment is over.

Hate flows,
free through her blood.
Infecting every *****.

First,
with her heart,
then her brain.

A deranged, heartless *****,
with all the power.

Succubi.
Queen of Bloodshed.
Harlot of Satan.

Swing dancing murderers
& ball-room assassins.
Seek her out, on
the dance floor.
To, get a chance to Swing Dance with Lucy, herself.

Good men will fall down to evil.
Slowly dancing and stabbing  
pretty, young girls.
Under the noses of their wives.

To save their,
lost souls
from the belly of the beast.

Covered in their blood, sweat & glitter,
the Party Princesses are slain
by the Princes of Poverty.
Cause they weren't getting pity ******.

I want to write beautiful words on your skin.
Tattoo them with ink mixed with berries and blood.
I want to whisper my love in sweet, gasping breaths.
The words will seep deep and etch forever my name.
I'll make a mark in your life,
You'll be forever divine,
Forever mine.

Let's get drunk off each other,
My breath reeking of wine,
Yours smoky and sweet.
I'll pull you along on a leash made of roses
Picked straight from the garden,
Thorns dripping with love, a deadly red poison
A sticky, crimson substance addictive and ****.
I'll make a mark in your life,
You'll be forever divine,
Forever mine.

Close your eyes and count to ten,
Trust me not to take your life.
I'm learning a language known only to us,
Each gasp, breath, and jagged promise
Creating a rhythm of love lost to others.
I wish to place a finger on your lips
Trace your face and kiss your jaw.
Just like the blind learning to see,
I'm creating a map for a world just for me.
I'll make a mark in your life,
You'll be forever divine,
Forever mine.