I sat watching 3 girls,
couldn’t be any older than 12,
wearing shorts cut by
expectations and
            taking pictures
with coffee cups and
wearing make up
stronger          than
perfume clouds
following like
hitchhikers
and
a slow car.
**** magazines          and enraptured
by the           irrelevant famous,
exposing the youth’s lack
of interest in literature,
callow   and murderous,
glasses filled and cocksure,
the world in front of them
and yet they’re taking
steps backwards

MJB

I like 90’s grunge that
makes me want to **** myself
and not wash my hair
and drink beer,
don’t see 90’s bands
in concert,
they’re old now
and it ***** you
with the bitterness
of life,
get drunk
kiss the floor
for supporting you
and lay in comfort

I’ve been scolded at before
while smoking in front of public places,
but today she
stared at me with a
cold look and bitterness,
were you sent
to school smelling like
the couch cushions and bedsheets
and your mothers hair?
was it the ash trays beside dinner plates
and squinted grins through dancing fog
watching television with your ears?
no silence came only burning lungs
and showers, breathing with your eyes?
I’m sorry, I tried blowing smoke
the other way.

Only one little
               silly tiny
                       movement
can create ripples
of effects
and tonight
as I reached for the
garlic or salt
or whatever
the hell it was---
something harsh was set
I brushed your shoulder
or was too much in your space
somehow jolting your ego
from its permanent, fragile place
            You chose to take that
and make a fight
from dust
and this in turn led
to splitting hearts
              spitting corrupted trust
passive aggressive silt
swept out
from under rugs
emotional bluntness of punches
instead of the realness of hugs
Where have we reached
what have we done
All I know
is my heart's on
        the run
These little ***** triggers
       can open
Pandora's sick, dark box
unlocking old resentments
from behind rusty locks
"You will never be forgiven"
are words
that destroy
they suffocate and choke
turn real gold to alloy
and Man, this gold is melting down
running in streams
painting false this town
in shades of hurt
in shades of pain
just lay me down
in this thick desert sun
to bear this unbearable
                   splintered strain
Let me pour this liquid burden
into the salt of the cracks
of the earth
Let me be replenished
with crystal water coolness
as I, head held up in tears,
                           remember
                                    my golden worth

I’m not a liar
but I lie to myself,
I’m not a sociopath but
I dream of killing people,
and I know that
I’m a person at heart,
I sleep on pillows made
of memories and
listen to my own screams
and take them in as whispers,
I sleep on mattresses of
dad’s smiles and yesterday,
self identified as ignorant
and educated in night,
the sun went down
on me once and
I never came.

everyone owns
that t-shirt with
a worn hole
that they
neglect to throw out,
you are that t-shirt,
and though
torn and threadbare
a distant dead stare
will bury deeper
and purpose will grow

life is more than
eating, drinking,
*******, thinking
about regret, and neglect,
finding new ways to
keep the sadness
you curse every night
in your writing
to stick around,
holding addictions
to things you know
you shouldn’t,
watching ****
and thinking that
your *** life is less
than ropes and
fishnets,
eating food and
smoking things
you know
you shouldn’t,
saying things to loved
ones you know you
wouldn’t if you were sober,
and dwelling
and never forgetting
and never forgiving
life is realization, resilience,
and repeating mistakes,
hating yourself and loving
yourself and enduring pain
embracing serenity and reading
in-between the lines,
being able to clean
***** mirrors,
seeing reflections
in coffee, and being able
to finish it,
having ephemeral
epiphanies and going back
on your word to quit
smoking, quit drinking
and eating terrible,
being able to laugh
and cry and punch drywall
in the same day ,
life is realism,
not some realm
of imaginable
perfection, you’re going
to fill a glass with constant
**** ups, just keep finishing it
and filling it with a
manifestation of manipulation
that you have no problem
seeing past,

be an oxymoron

A rhyme written for life
To end all life's strife
In heart doth it flow
In lips a smile to glow
To them in darkest fear
Courage of love ever near
To them lost and lone
A sweet word reassured tone

In hurdles to fate them that fall
Mock not yet felt be their call
Love hath been torn
Fortune and fame be gone
Yet Ink from a hand in life etched
Deep from heart words fetched
Wheels of destiny doth turn
Fuelled by souls that burn

A robin and eagle not the same
Yet with wings play natures game
A water hole attract a deer in fear
A tiger hidden in grass ever near
A bee doth die with its sting
Yet sweet honey it doth bring

Seldom sacrificed human life
To end earthly strife
Seldom a hand for the fallen soul
To injustice a cry foul
Seldom the hungry be fed
To orphans a warm bed

Rhyme of life indeed
One day forget greed
One day plant loves seed
One day give care to need
One day heal them that bleed
One day hungry to feed
Rhyme of life in need

I sit here in my mind
and start to wonder what to do

In my mind

I bend back this long long
elastic, stretched it with all I had

I climbed in the middle and let her fly
Out through my cranium towards the sky, then passed the stars

Out into the universe headed for the closest galaxy.