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 Nov 2015
Ignatius Hosiana
The ugly side of beauty
Is the dark side of light
Blowing hot and cold
Feeling young and old
The soft ground in the sky
Is the truth of the lie
Without magic in the wand
Or footprints in the sand
Flowers never grow until we water
Even winter could feel hotter
Past could be the future you want
And the future a past to haunt
There are days we look to the blind
For guidance in finding those left behind
In joy we grieve, in death we live
We remember to forget when we can't forget to remember
How we were stabbed in the back
Somebody placed bullets in chamber
And we heard the click bid us hard luck
We saw dark days and nights day bright
Matured to realize we were wrong to believe we were right
Times when we were forced to see straight in a bend
To have hope there's a Genesis in the end
We hopelessly hanged on to shreds and feeble threads
Lacking the luxury of a cut camouflaging in dreads
Stuck together as we fell apart
Holding "us" close and warm at heart
Whilst we searched this world for a paradise
For all was perception of pictures from our eyes
And the world was a Hell
A Mute's story to tell
Have you ever
Needed someone
So bad

Yet they aren't willing
To make it last

Sometime you gotta lose
To win again
Every year I grow older
I realized
How old I am
14
13
12
11
10
9
8
7
6
5
4
3
2
1
I walked along the bridge
Watching cars zooming past
On the corner of my eye
"Who would care if I died?" I ask
With warm tears, I cried

"You're not pretty enough
Skinny enough
Tall enough either!"
"Just end your life kid
It will benefit us."

If only they knew
What was going through my head.
I looked down at the ocean
From  the narrow ledge

A man got out his car, and ran
He gave me his hand.
'"Don't do it!
Come with me
Everything will be fine...", but
It was too late
I jumped then changed my mind
when I finally left
you begged me to stay
but all the times you were gone
it was all okay.
it was cool if you partied
till 4 the next night
I was at home crying
but to you it was alright
I remember one year
it was valentines day and I was sick in bed
you could of been there to take care of me
but out cheating on me ..instead.
I wonder if I did that
how that would make you feel
the person you thought loved you
betrays you and thinks its [no big deal]
I think its kind of funny now
that I stayed around that long
did you only push me down
to make yourself feel strong?
I know relationships have problems
I know there will always be
I know you were with her when you should have been with me

I know I love you with all my heart
even though its all in half
I guess ill try to repair one side
the other you can have
I miss you every single day
but I know leaving was the right thing to do
cuz if you really love me
you would of never been untrue

What does forever mean to you?
When you couldn't even keep it true
You said were you'd forever be there
But were those just words pulled from thin air?
Did you actually love me?
Did you really see the feelings I see?
The truth, the love, the loyal tears
The betrayal, hate, and the fear
I thought you felt the same
That you would cover me in the rain
I thought forever and always was forever
But now there's not an us…never
You said you'd always be there for me
But now I truly see
That you never saw the feelings in my soul
Now you've pierced my heart with a hole
But my heart has healed
Now I have friends that are real
And you're gone out of my life
Unable to pierce me with the heartbreaking knives
I thought forever was forever not just a word
But I guess that's not what I heard…
 Oct 2015
Redshift
my cousin always gets a new puppy when the last grows up incorrectly:
misbehaving while she's gone,
wrecking home and belongings.

that is how you feel
no, not special or an isolated circumstance
don't bloat yourself on the idea that you are unique to me --
you are every other boy who thinks with his ****
every other boy who seemed playful and innocent
and grew to destroy home and belongings...

this arm belongs to me, this breast
this neck
these thighs
you wreck every one
smiling in your play

i do discard you,
but not before you damage me...
and there is always another
ahead.
Please don’t cry
I’m not really gone
When you look out the window
I’ll be standing on the lawn

Please don’t cry
I’ll see you again
Don’t be sad
Keep up your chin

Please don’t cry
I’m not really dead
When you cry yourself to sleep
I’ll be by your bed

Please don’t cry
Just because we had to part
As long as you remember me
I’ll live in your heart

Please don’t cry
I’m not gone forever
I’ll be a cool and gentle breeze
In hot summer weather

Please don’t cry
Don’t run and hide
When you need a shoulder to lean on
I’ll be by your side

Please don’t cry
When you’re sad and weak
I’ll be there
To kiss you on the cheek

Please don’t cry
This is just a goodbye
So please, oh please
Baby, do not cry
Life is not all rainbows and butterflies.
Just ask the ones that lie inside,
Lifeless and dull.
Fluttering their wings inside my skull,
Torturing me until I have died.
Life is not all rainbows and butterflies.
 Apr 2015
Santiago
My journey begins with my family of four, in my dark room in the comfort of my home. At times when I'm alone thoughts would consume me forming skeptical illusions. I did my best to keep control of my senses, but every single time something kept pulling me back. I soon became aware of my spiritual battle, and how my family was at risk. Keeping my loving family together was my concern, refusing to repeat the cycle of pain again. My young boys looked up to me, watching them play, laugh, and eat embraced me with motivation. Everyday was a fight not with my woman or kids, but with the devastating world. I wasn't meeting my standards, I was slowly loosing track, eventually I fell from my feet. The Devil was loose I could feel him near, my love strayed away from thw truth. My dreams and accomplishments I threw them all away. Making the world a better place was my motive, but I happened to build conflict within myself. Everything transformed I couldn't settle things right for myself. My love was deceived by the beast, reasoning with her became a hell. She turned into someone I was unable to recognize any longer. She was vulnerable to the wicked operations penetrating her heart, and crushing down her soul. Tears were shed, blood was dripped, scars were made, things were broken, painful words were spoken. I should of left when I had the chance, but how can I her soul was entwined with mine, her hearts been torn apart, beaten down, ripped apart, stepped all over. Her soul was under attack, so I did not turn my back at this moment. It hurt watching her get lost in despair, agony, and frustration. The Devil came around wrapping her in chains, her feelings died, strangers became best friends, loved ones became insignificant, what was once important became a thing in the past. We had precious moments, good times, unforgettable memories spent together although things did not last she is a wonderful woman. She was easily pulled away, drifting towards a secular careless lifestyle, giving up her morals and self respect. I wish things would have turned out differently, neutral by far establishing a sincere friendship atleast for the sake of our boys, however I can't blame her for it, even if she is the one to blame. I can only let time pass, and watch as her eyes open to the truth, and realize her deception.
 Apr 2015
Santiago
You were my angel
Covered me in every angle
Brought true happiness
Unexplainable fuzziness
Men if only I can stand
I promise I wont pretend
Be with you till the end
You brought the best in me
And left the worst in me
Dreams turned to nightmares
Days turned into nights
My world turned upside down
Smiles became a gloomy frown
Still today you hold the crown
My queen of my magical dream
Can I eat you up like ice cream?
I Love You, wherever you are, faraway...
If the only place I can have you is in my dreams, I'd sleep forever <3
 Apr 2015
Santiago
My little baby boy
Aqui estoy nunca me voy
You fill my heart with joy
Santiago mi hijo ese soy yo
If you need it te lo doy
No tengas miedo papas
I'm always with you dadas
Te cargo en mi kora
A toda hora mi alma te adora
No te pongas triste
Solo felicidad me traiste
No temas ni llores
Everything's gonna be fine
Bottom line yo no me venso
 Apr 2015
Santiago
I don't trust no one
Including myself
I figured a little too late
How societies operate
I can't speak with strangers
Never know could be danger
Watching my back
For backstabbers
My back hurts everyday
My bones crack everyday
My neck is pain to the brain
My body posture is broken

Although my physical is weak
My spirit maintains strong
 Apr 2015
Santiago
I question everything
I question my life
I question my past
I question this world
I question for answers
I question what I don't know
I question myself
I question in search of light
I question first impression
I question every session
I question their reason
I question every season
I question their treason
I question where is the love
I question why all the hate
I question the state of mind
I question all the time
I question way back in time
I question for you, me, all of us...
Minority
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