when you told me
you've been growing your orchids
for ten years
i realized
years don't count
in how well i know you
and those flowers
have seen your days
more than i did.

we have a mutual understanding that we will always be part stranger to each other
then apologize and move on

but i am made of the same stuff as you
and you are the only person
who makes me like phone calls.

my father and i are alike in a lot of ways
but his panic attacks are worse
and i can see him freeze
and beat himself up in silence
behind the steering wheel.
*he's sixty years old

you said 'don't lie to me
i can see your eyes'

so we sat on the jeep stop and
talked about feelings i'm
not sure i had.

you wanted i cry on your shoulder
cause you knew my loss

i was unfeeling
'can't do that on demand'

but suddenly it was 9PM and i was an ugly mess
sitting on the ground smoking menthols
wondering what the **** just happened

i was always the shoulder to cry on
so yours was a foreign place

but thank you for taking me places