I'm not 100 percent positive
But I think my girlfriend is a spy
You might be wondering where I got this idea from
Sit back and I'll explain to you why

She gets calls on her cell phone at the oddest of hours
Tells me she must take this call because it is urgent
Whispers into the receiver, then walks out of the room
So I'm pretty sure she's a secret agent

I ask her out for dinner on the weekends
She tells me there's no way, she just can't
I figure she must be going on a secret mission
Perhaps somewhere in the South of France

I've had plenty of friends tell me they've seen her
Out at different times with different guys
She'd better be careful or she'll blow her cover
As a top notch international spy

Out of curiosity one day I did follow her
When I called and she didn't call back
I saw her at the mall with another man
Whom I assume is her main contact

They were at a corner table in the food court
Sitting together up close face to face
They didn't want any other spy's hearing their secrets
As they make for us this world a safer place

Now that you've heard all the evidence
You now know the reason why
I've come to the only conclusion
That my girlfriend is a spy

Being a girl *****! :(
I'm one big ball of emotion
Being tossed back and forth
On the waves of this female ocean

Just when I say I'm doing okay
Another tsunami comes along
Washing away the sanity I saved
Swept out to sea, it's gone

Being a girl *****! :(
All the makeup that we wear
Who are we trying to impress anyways
And do those jerks out there really care

All they do is treat me like a piece of meat
With desert on the side
Would you like some tears with that
It doesn't take much these days to make me cry

Being a girl *****! :(
With some of the things we have to wear
This over the shoulder boulder holder
Wasn't built for comfort that's for sure

And is it already that time of month again
I've about had it with these cramps
If I hear another man explain my mood to me
I swear I'm going to reach up and pull his tongue out through his...

Being a girl *****! :(
But one thing that I can say
It sure as heck beats being a guy
Where stupidity always gets in the way

We all have a place
Where secrets are made
The ones we would rather hide

More often than not
God takes what we've got
And brings it into the light

Beyond the shadow of doubt
Your sin finds you out
No matter how hard you try

It's best to make
The paths you lay straight
Keeping God right by our side